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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / August 2005So much for the side-job (OT)
I spent about 5 hours designing the flyer for the store down the street. I couldn't seem to get there at a time when the cooks were not busy and the guy had no clue which different entrees they prepare each day. So I dropped off the draft two days ago and asked him to have the cooks make corrections to the lunch menu. When I tried to discuss price, he said to me in his broken English, "I no married no more. I take you out. You, me. Boyfriend girlfriend." I don't *think* so! Even if I were interested and available (which I'm NOT), I saw his wife in the store just last week! Maybe they do things differently in Yemen but I'm not about to become this guy's mistress. I am insulted he'd even think such a thing. So I'm out a few hours time but I learned something about using MS Word templates ;) I am boycotting the store. He doesn't seem to realize, as easily as I could prepare a flyer promoting his store I can also prepare one slamming his store. And I sent email to the County Mayor's Action Advocate asking how to report health code violations. When I was in the store the last time I wanted some cream cheese - every package had a sell by date of 6/25/2005. This is August! When I said something to him about it, his response was, "Yeah, they come tomorrow." That's his standard reply. Idiot. There are other violations I noted as well. I got a reply Friday morning from the mayor's office; they forwarded my complaint to the inspectors office at the health department. When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have to drive further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out anyway :) Jill  SignatureI used to have a handle on life...but it broke off. > I am boycotting the store. He doesn't seem to realize, as easily as > I could prepare a flyer promoting his store I can also prepare one > slamming his store. Be careful with this. I had a much worse problem with a business once, and a lawyer cautioned me against doing something similar. You have to be extremely certain you can prove any allegations. > And I sent email to the County Mayor's Action Advocate asking how to > report health code violations. When I was in the store the last time [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > reply Friday morning from the mayor's office; they forwarded my > complaint to the inspectors office at the health department. Okay ... um ... just a few days ago all of these problems didn't seem to bother you that much. I would be pissed, too, though, if I ended up with that result. > When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have to > drive further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out > anyway :) Definitely. It's sometimes really hard to understand what goes on in the minds of people from other cultures. I doubt he meant to insult you, but then, I don't really know. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >> I am boycotting the store. He doesn't seem to realize, as easily as >> I could prepare a flyer promoting his store I can also prepare one [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > once, and a lawyer cautioned me against doing something similar. You > have to be extremely certain you can prove any allegations. I won't do it, simply saying I *could* do it and he doesn't seem to realize that. >> And I sent email to the County Mayor's Action Advocate asking how to >> report health code violations. When I was in the store the last time [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > to bother you that much. I would be pissed, too, though, if I ended > up with that result. Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; he's been running the place about 6 months. Used to be a nice place where, even though it is a "convenience store" they sold fresh produce. More than just the usual chips, beef jerkey and beer which is normal for a convenience store. There was the one time he stocked Contadina fresh pasta. He put it on the shelf with the dried pasta. I pointed out the mistake; pointed out on the package where it says it must be refrigerated or frozen. His reply was, "Yeah, yeah." The next day it was *still* on the shelf with the dried pasta (and dried out and completely unsalable). My opinion apparently doesn't count. I have also pointed out bags of sprouting potatoes, green cabbage turning yellow, wrinkled bell peppers. When his cousin worked there with him, his cousin would listen to me and take action accordingly. He also read and spoke better English. >> When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have >> to drive further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the minds of people from other cultures. I doubt he meant to insult > you, but then, I don't really know. Oh, I'm pretty sure he knew what he was saying to me. Particularly telling is "I no married no more" when I just saw his wife in the store last week. Perhaps women in Yemen are used to being treated as chattel but I'm not. At any rate, I'll drive further and go to other stores and not cross that doorway again. Jill > Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he > bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > on the shelf with the dried pasta (and dried out and completely > unsalable). My opinion apparently doesn't count. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Ah well. Sounds like it was high time for a change to a new grocery store, anyway. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >> Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he >> bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > Ah well. Sounds like it was high time for a change to a new grocery > store, anyway. True! This isn't really a grocery store; it's a convenience store that sells some meats (sausages, bacon), produce, etc. (and used to be pretty competitive price-wise). Very convenient if you happen to need something quickly that a typical convenience store attached to a gas station doesn't sell, or if you don't want to drive 10 miles to-from the nearest *real* grocery store. Oh well. (sigh) Jill > >> Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he > >> bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > > Jill Very convenient if you want food poisening by the sound of it. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. >>>> Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since >>>> he bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Very convenient if you want food poisening by the sound of it. That's *now*. Prior to Ali buying the place the stock was well maintained, rotated properly, pulled off the shelves if past the sell-by date. The produce came from local farmers and was excellent. When Ali's cousin Abdul was working with him (initially I thought *he* was the new owner) he made sure everything was in tip-top shape, too. Apparently Abdul got sick of putting up with Ali and now I can certainly understand why... Abdul wasn't opposed to tossing out spoiling items. Guess they didn't see eye to eye on things like that. Jill >>>>> Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since >>>>> he bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > > Jill It's a pity Abdul isn't running the place instead of Ali. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. > Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he bought > the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; he's been running [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > cousin would listen to me and take action accordingly. He also read and > spoke better English. Just FWIW, this may be a cultural difference as well. I have seen things sold in ethic stores that I wouldn't feed my dog - and others seemed to think they were perfectly ok for use. We (Americans) are spoiled by top-quality fresh produce and products - in some countries you buy what you can and use it anyway. I understand there are health violations to consider, but IME, the health department simply doesn't care when most of the stuff is being sold to ethnic minorities. There was a Russian deli in Indy that was particularly bad. I shudder even thinking about that place now. > >> When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have > >> to drive further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Oh, I'm pretty sure he knew what he was saying to me. Particularly telling > is "I no married no more" when I just saw his wife in the store last week. They could still be getting divorced or already be divorced. > Perhaps women in Yemen are used to being treated as chattel but I'm not. At > any rate, I'll drive further and go to other stores and not cross that > doorway again. He probably thought getting you to do the flyer was a foot in the door for him to ask you out in the first place. I'd just stock it up to experience and peddle your computer skills to businesses elsewhere - primarily his competition. ;) -L. >> Trust me, I've been complaining to him about these problems since he >> bought the store. I've been a customer of the store for 9 years; [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > doesn't > care when most of the stuff is being sold to ethnic minorities. Except most of the stuff isn't being sold to ethnic minorities! They have a small stock of some things catering to the Mexican population (lots of Mexican construction workers pick up lunch items from the buffet). But for the most part the customers are your garden variety whites and blacks from the area. > There was a Russian deli in Indy that was particularly bad. I shudder > even thinking about that place now. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > They could still be getting divorced or already be divorced. Doesn't matter. I'm not interested and that should be the end of it, not a reason to persevere in the matter. >> Perhaps women in Yemen are used to being treated as chattel but I'm >> not. At any rate, I'll drive further and go to other stores and not [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > -L. Yup! > Just FWIW, this may be a cultural difference as well. I have seen > things sold in ethic stores that I wouldn't feed my dog - and others > seemed to think they were perfectly ok for use. We (Americans) are > spoiled by top-quality fresh produce and products - in some countries > you buy what you can and use it anyway. And in many countries, what you get in the stores is a great deal fresher than what we get in the U.S.! (For one thing, it hasn't traveled for a week or so, then been sitting in a warehouse for a couple more.) So many Americans seem to believe that the U.S. STILL has the highest standard of living in the world, and that's no longer true, alas. (Sweden and Japan, among others, rank higher than we do.) > > Just FWIW, this may be a cultural difference as well. I have seen > > things sold in ethic stores that I wouldn't feed my dog - and others [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > living in the world, and that's no longer true, alas. > (Sweden and Japan, among others, rank higher than we do.) Obviously I realize that, but what I said still holds true. If you knew me, you would know I am no patriot. ;) -L. > There was the one time he stocked Contadina fresh pasta. He put it on the > shelf with the dried pasta. I pointed out the mistake; pointed out on the > package where it says it must be refrigerated or frozen. His reply was, > "Yeah, yeah." The next day it was *still* on the shelf with the dried pasta > (and dried out and completely unsalable). My opinion apparently doesn't > count. Of course not! You're a woman, and he's from the Middle-East! Los Angeles has a fair number of Middle-Eastern immigrants, too, and I've had my share of repairmen who paid no attention to what I was trying to tell them about whatever it was they were here to repair - and consequently ignored the actual problem and "repaired" something that didn't need fixing. (Their employers heard about it, too!) > I have also pointed out bags of sprouting potatoes, green cabbage turning > yellow, wrinkled bell peppers. When his cousin worked there with him, his > cousin would listen to me and take action accordingly. He also read and > spoke better English. I repeat my question: "How hygenic is his kitchen?" Would you REALLY want to recommend it by doing flyers for him? > Oh, I'm pretty sure he knew what he was saying to me. Particularly telling > is "I no married no more" when I just saw his wife in the store last week. > Perhaps women in Yemen are used to being treated as chattel but I'm not. They ARE! (All through that part of the world, and in most of those countries they have no legal recourse.) > At > any rate, I'll drive further and go to other stores and not cross that > doorway again. Your area supermarkets are probably cheaper, anyway - the only thing most "convenience" stores have going for them is that they are ....ummmm.... "convenient". >>I am boycotting the store. He doesn't seem to realize, as easily as >>I could prepare a flyer promoting his store I can also prepare one [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > once, and a lawyer cautioned me against doing something similar. You > have to be extremely certain you can prove any allegations. She's right - don't put anything in writing, especially if it could be traced back to you! (Although I suspect a few inspections by the Health Department may turn the trick.) If he's that careless about "sell by" dates, how hygenic is his kitchen? (Are you sure you'd WANT to eat there?) He probably doesn't realize, either, that bribery here isn't quite the "normal cost of doing business" that it may be in his own country. (In the U.S., attempting to bribe a health inspector would be likely to get him an even higher fine - maybe even a jail term.) >>When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have to >>drive further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the minds of people from other cultures. I doubt he meant to insult > you, but then, I don't really know. But he's living in OUR culture now - it's HE who should understand that women are not second-class citizens here! I'm sure he DIDN'T mean to insult her - he probably regards himself as a very desirable fellow, even with a wife. (That doesn't mean he has any logical reason for thinking so.) > I spent about 5 hours designing the flyer for the store down the street. I > couldn't seem to get there at a time when the cooks were not busy and the [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Jill Seems like a case of sour grapes. A few days ago you were willing to make a flyer to promote the store and draw business, now you want the health department in and possibly shut the store down for violations. I understand the guy made comments that were inappropriate, but why are you really calling the health dept, because of the violations that didn't phase your promotional flyer a few days ago, because of the comments or because you feel short shafted out of money you expected to earn but had not been promised. Very sour, apparently out of date for a long time. Look, he cheated her out of her time, which in this case, is money. Second, he insulted her. Third, in the long run, he seems to view women as objects, to be seen and not heard. Would be interesting to say, heh, Mrs. Yemini, I hear your husband divorced you. As I recall, he only has to repeat three times, I divorce you, and you're divorced, under Moslem rule. Did he do that? Doubt though if it's legal in your state, better check, ma'am. > Very sour, apparently out of date for a long time. Look, he cheated her > out of her time, which in this case, is money. Second, he insulted her. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > times, I divorce you, and you're divorced, under Moslem rule. Did he do > that? Doubt though if it's legal in your state, better check, ma'am. I'd have chalked the misunderstanding about payment up to experience (get an agreement, preferably in writing first, next time), refused the come-on and avoided him in the future (it's not that unusual; there are plenty of married men out there who make passes at women) and left it at that. I would not have reported him to the authorities for health violations I was willing to ignore until I found out I wasn't getting paid for my work. SignatureCheryl >>Very sour, apparently out of date for a long time. Look, he cheated her >>out of her time, which in this case, is money. Second, he insulted her. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > violations I was willing to ignore until I found out I wasn't getting paid > for my work. But Jill seems reasonably level-headed, and has been posting here for some time. Since neither you nor I experienced the situation at first hand, I'd be more inclined to accept Jills assessment of it than form my onw conclusions on insufficient evidence. > But Jill seems reasonably level-headed, and has been posting > here for some time. Since neither you nor I experienced the > situation at first hand, I'd be more inclined to accept > Jills assessment of it than form my onw conclusions on > insufficient evidence. You've got a point about insufficient evidence - what's the old saying about three sides to every dispute? The two participants' sides and the truth? I do usually try not to take sides in such disputes and shouldn't have here. But I still do not see the point in reacting to an unwanted pass (with or without a dispute over payment for a job) with a health code violation complaint. SignatureCheryl >> But Jill seems reasonably level-headed, and has been posting >> here for some time. Since neither you nor I experienced the [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > (with or without a dispute over payment for a job) with a health code > violation complaint. Did you read my other posts where I clarified I have been pointing out these things all along? The conditions were not like that when his cousin Abdul worked with him (up until almost a month ago). You're right, though. I'm sure I shouldn't have agreed to create a mockup of the flyer for him, especially given only Abdul would listen to me and Abdul got fed up with him and quit. Maybe the health inspectors can do his other customers (of which I am no longer one) a favour and force him to clean up his act. I know it doesn't sound that way, but it was actually a separate issue from the flyer and the "pass" he made. That was just sort of the camel/straw thing. I'd been considering it ever since Abdul quit. Jill >>> Very sour, apparently out of date for a long time. Look, he cheated >>> her out of her time, which in this case, is money. Second, he [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Jills assessment of it than form my onw conclusions on > insufficient evidence. Thank you for the compliment :) As I stated separately, I have tried to point things out to him, even before the flyer thing came up. When his cousin Abdul worked with him, he'd listen to me and take action. His cousin is the one who pulled the "fresh" pasta off the shelf with the dried and discarded it. When I pointed out a bag of sprouting greenish potatoes to Abdul, he joked "Oh, those are for people who want to grow there own!" then he went and got the bag and carried it out to the dumpster. I was still pointing things out to Ali. Since Abdul is no longer in the picture (only a little over a month) it seems Ali doesn't care. I guess I was hoping it would get better (or that Abdul would come back). As far as the kitchen facilities go, Ali isn't the one cleaning it. He has 2 black women and a white woman as cooks. I hate to bring it all down to race and culture, but I'd be willing to bet the kitchen is cleaner than mine ;) Still, I won't be shopping there again. Jill > Very sour, apparently out of date for a long time. Look, he cheated her > out of her time, which in this case, is money. Second, he insulted her. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > times, I divorce you, and you're divorced, under Moslem rule. Did he do > that? Doubt though if it's legal in your state, better check, ma'am. Next question, is he paying his (ex)wife a salary, or expecting her to work for free? It's true, a husband is not required to pay wages to his wife or children for working in a family business, but if they're divorced, she becomes a bonafide "employee", and there are laws covering that. > Seems like a case of sour grapes. A few days ago you were willing to make a > flyer to promote the store and draw business, now you want the health [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > you feel short shafted out of money you expected to earn but had not been > promised. Odd.... you seem to be the only one among us to regard it that way! Even if your interpretation had some merit, it doesn't excuse a supposed "business associate" assuming that his questionable romantic "attentions" might substitute for payment of a reasonable fee for work performed! > So I dropped off the draft two days ago and asked him to have the cooks make > corrections to the lunch menu. When I tried to discuss price, he said to me > in his broken English, "I no married no more. I take you out. You, me. > Boyfriend girlfriend." I don't *think* so! snipped > Jill Oh nooooo. Well, at least it all came down at the rough draft stage, and before you got any more time and effort invested in the deal. I also think it was a good idea to tip of the DOH about his old stock. Some elderly person could end up sick consuming something expired--lots of elderly people can't see well enough to read those tiny expiration dates. It's not like he's going to be put out of business after all anyway. They'll just give him a talking-to and a warning, and order him to comply. Sherry >> So I dropped off the draft two days ago and asked him to have the >> cooks make corrections to the lunch menu. When I tried to discuss [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Sherry I can't wait to get the inspector's report! (The mayor's office promised to tell me what the inspectors found.) Jill >>So I dropped off the draft two days ago and asked him to have the cooks make >>corrections to the lunch menu. When I tried to discuss price, he said to me [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > of elderly people can't see well enough to read those tiny expiration > dates. And a lot of people, "elderly" or not, don't always bother to READ labels. Usually that's okay, since a few days past dating is no big deal. (However, June 25th, when we're now well into August?) > It's not like he's going to be put out of business after all > anyway. They'll just give him a talking-to and a warning, and order him > to comply. Until, being from the Middle-East, he tries to bribe the inspector! (And there's usually a fine involved, if the situation is not corrected.) >I spent about 5 hours designing the flyer for the store down the street. I >couldn't seem to get there at a time when the cooks were not busy and the [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > >Jill What a creep! I'm glad you reported him to the health department. Ginger-lyn Home Pages: http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/ http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) > I spent about 5 hours designing the flyer for the store down the street. I > couldn't seem to get there at a time when the cooks were not busy and the [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > When I told John about all this he was furious. So now I just have to drive > further to buy whatever I need. It's good for me to get out anyway :) Remember what I said in reply to your first post on the subject, when you asked what you should charge? "If he objects, you might point out that if he wants expert assistance, he must expect to pay for it - even if you ARE 'only a woman'." Even if you WERE "Boyfriend girlfriend" it shouldn't be an excuse for not paying you for your professional services. Unfortunately, there's a REASON why I have a low opinion of Middle-Eastern men! (Why is it that even the most unappetizing men from those cultures have delusions about being irresistible to women?) >> price, he said to me in his broken English, "I no married no more. >> I take you out. You, me. Boyfriend girlfriend." I don't *think* so! [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > assistance, he must expect to pay for it - even if you ARE > 'only a woman'." Yes! (sigh) I have a tendency to try to think well of people until the prove otherwise, which he did. > Unfortunately, there's a REASON why I have a low opinion > of Middle-Eastern men! (Why is it that even the most > unappetizing men from those cultures have delusions about > being irresistible to women?) He obviously thinks so. Wish you could see him - he's very unappealing! Jill > Even if you WERE "Boyfriend girlfriend" it shouldn't be an excuse for not > paying you for your professional services. Unfortunately, there's a REASON > why I have a low opinion of Middle-Eastern men! (Why is it that even the > most unappetizing men from those cultures have delusions about being > irresistible to women?) I know its tempting, but please try not to generalize. Not all "Middle Eastern" men fit the mold, and the ones that don't are quite as disgusted with the behavior of some as anyone else. All men are not pigs. All middle eastern men are not pigs. And there are plenty of red-neck good ole boys who think of themselves as irresistible, along with the blue nose patricians, the Latinos, the Asians, and any other group or mixture of groups you can think of. Its hormones and bad judgment, not just culture. Sorry but I felt the need to defend a good friend and truly decent man from Lebanon. Jo |
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