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Preliminary After-Action Report (AAR) from Patrol Tail 2

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Howard C. Berkowitz - 06 Aug 2005 02:36 GMT
At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
activity in the large porcelain basin. Visual reconaissance revealed
SGT Rhonda and SPC Ding maneuvering rapidly in three dimensions,
using their primary probes at one another and a spot on the surface.
Increased magnification revealed they were detaining an insurgent,
cleverly disguised as a mouse.

It soon became obvious that these eager but inexperienced troops were
at a standoff with the insurgent, or at least had a confusion over
ROE. On being informed OPERATION SHOWER was being delayed, Tail 2
egressed the Tub Basin, leaving the insurgent, who proved mobile on
the ground, but unskilled in high-angle maneuvers to escape the area
where Tail 2 had isolated him.

A quick message to SGT Rhonda, using SOI-approved voice code of "come
take your mouse", resulted in a quick return and a recapture. The
regional commander realized an absence of TOWEL FORCE before ordering
the start of OPERATION SHOWER, and had to transport that asset to the
Tub Basin. On the commander's return, he discovered Tail Two had
returned, apparently chasing the insurgent back.

When Tail 2 recognized their commander, they concluded their recon
operation had ended. The commander called in FLUSH FORCE, personally
capturing the struggling insurgent and dispatching him with the
mighty Toilet.

It is recommended Tail 2 receive more close combat training. Records
do not indicate prior combat experience with the mouse faction,
although SGT Rhonda once did dubious battle with a long-stemmed
jalapeno, apparently identifying it as a mouse.
Kreisleriana - 06 Aug 2005 04:10 GMT
>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 27 lines]
>although SGT Rhonda once did dubious battle with a long-stemmed
>jalapeno, apparently identifying it as a mouse.

LMAO!  The creative juices are really flowing this summer!  (not
jalapeno juice, I hope)

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com
Wayne Mitchell - 06 Aug 2005 05:17 GMT
>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
>Increased magnification revealed they were detaining an insurgent,
>cleverly disguised as a mouse.

Report approved.  Regional Command is instructed to keep this
sector apprised of further developments.  The performance of
Tail 2 on maneuvers should be closely observed and reported.

Signature

Wayne M.

Bridget - 06 Aug 2005 09:34 GMT
>>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
>>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> sector apprised of further developments.  The performance of
> Tail 2 on maneuvers should be closely observed and reported.

Cute!
Enfilade - 06 Aug 2005 21:17 GMT
> >>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
> >>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> >>Increased magnification revealed they were detaining an insurgent,
> >>cleverly disguised as a mouse.

*Intercepted Message from Enemy Command*

LT. GEN Nocturne is displeased to receive news of undercover
operative's untimely  demise.  LAC (Leading Air Cat) Smokey is being
forced to undergo hours of grueling maneuvers as punishment for her bad
mood.  FIA (Feline Intelligence Agency) Agent Kumani is encouraged to
contact SGT Rhonda and SPC Ding to see if they can be turned.  Failing
that, a kamikaze maneuver involving Capt. Tyche is under consideration.

The human world order is DOOMED!

--Fil
Howard C. Berkowitz - 06 Aug 2005 22:24 GMT
> > >>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
> > >>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
>
> The human world order is DOOMED!

Command Sergeant Major Mr. Clark, on being informed of this, drawls "And
is Nocturne prepared to confront me when I go into heavy tank mode?"  He
did consult the local counterintelligence group, who reassured them that
anyone attempting to turn Ding, through his logic channeled from an
obscure Parisian postmodern deconstructionist with existential roots, is
doomed to brain burnout.
Enfilade - 07 Aug 2005 00:03 GMT
> Command Sergeant Major Mr. Clark, on being informed of this, drawls "And
> is Nocturne prepared to confront me when I go into heavy tank mode?"  He
> did consult the local counterintelligence group, who reassured them that
> anyone attempting to turn Ding, through his logic channeled from an
> obscure Parisian postmodern deconstructionist with existential roots, is
> doomed to brain burnout.

Be warned.  She's been known to engage in bribery (involving ham) and
also terrorism and hostage taking (usually directed towards my plants),
as well as an outright assault (she's dropped furniture on us while we
slept).  Al Quitty indeed!

--Fil

(Though if faced with heavy tank mode, she may withdraw under the bed
to consider  her tactical options....)
Howard C. Berkowitz - 07 Aug 2005 01:35 GMT
> > Command Sergeant Major Mr. Clark, on being informed of this, drawls "And
> > is Nocturne prepared to confront me when I go into heavy tank mode?"  He
[quoted text clipped - 12 lines]
> (Though if faced with heavy tank mode, she may withdraw under the bed
> to consider  her tactical options....)

Mind you, an M1A2 Abrams is probably faster in a straight line than Mr.
Clark -- but he is equally solid. Admittedly, an orange tank is a bit
unusual, but the very novelty contributes to esprit de corps.

Ding is actually coming up to Mr. Clark's standards of a broad and
muscular chest, but I don't think he yet understands that.  It has been
observed that juniors charge into Mr. Clark...and bounce off as he looks
mildly at them.
CATherine - 06 Aug 2005 22:40 GMT
>At approximately 2130 Zulu, regional command interrupted a preplanned
>decontamination procedure, when acoustic sensors reported suspicious
[quoted text clipped - 27 lines]
>although SGT Rhonda once did dubious battle with a long-stemmed
>jalapeno, apparently identifying it as a mouse.

Great military report. It is good to hear your Unit is on top of the
situation.

--
CATherine
 
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