Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 15 month old female kitten
Bandit - 15 year old female cat
Mommy - *MUCH* older female human

Last night Mommy was having a very restless sleep, so around 3AM she had to
take a second sleeping pill.  This means that Mommy was not awake at her
customary time of 7AM.

At 7:02AM Sammy jumps up onto Mommy's bed to see what's going on and walks
over to Bandit who is in her rightful place taking up 7/8s of Mommy's
pillow.

"What's wrong?" Sammy asks Bandit.  "Why isn't Mommy up and feeding us?"

"I don't know," Bandit replied, "but, I'll wake her @$$ up."

Bandit leans over and gives Mommy a kitty kiss, nose-to-nose to gently wake
Mommy up and remind her to get a move on and feed her kitty highness.  Mommy
doesn't respond.

"What's the matter?" Sammy asks.  "Is she dead?  She could be dead.  Oh no,
who's going to feed us if she's dead?  It's already been 10 hours since we'
ve been fed!  I think I'm starving!!  In fact I can feel myself wasting
away!!! How long does it take for a cat to starve?  Especially a large cat
who needs more food!!!!  We're going to starve, Bandit!!!!!  *OH MY GAWD, WE
'RE GOING TO STARVE*!!!!!!!!"

Bandit slaps Sammy across the face, "Calm down already, I've seen this
before, Mommy is just being lazy. I think."  But Bandit glances worriedly at
the empty food bowls

"I'll see if she's breathing!" Sammy replies.

Sammy leans over and shoves her cold wet nose so far up Mommy's right
nostril that she leaves a few kitty boogers on Mommy's frontal lobe.  "Yep,
she's breathing."  Sammy says.

"mmm-mrph" Mommy says and turns over onto her left side.

"OK, this is going to take more advanced tactics." Bandit says.  Bandit
walks across Mommy's pillow and starts head-butting the back of Mommy's head
in a effort to wake her.

"mmmmmmmmm-mmmrrrrppppphhhhhh" Mommy says and rolls back onto her back

"I know what to do!" Sammy exclaims.

Sammy uses her considerable bulk to her advantage by walking back and forth
across Mommy's tummy, putting pressure on an already over-pressurized
bladder.

"Gi-off!" Mommy says and rolls over onto her right side.

"OK, this calls for some tag team waking." Bandit says.  You take her front
and I'll take her back and let's use her as a scratching post!"
Unfortunately, Daddy keeps the thermostat set on deep freeze, so Mommy is
covered with a thick quilt and doesn't feel the sharp stabbing jabs.

"OK, desperate times call for desperate measures." Sammy says, taking a deep
breath.  Just as Bandit's mouth comes close to Mommy's right ear, Sammy
sticks her cold wet nose on Bandit's bum.  Bandit lets out her Cougar
Yell(tm), beating her previous loudness record by several decibels.

"WHAT THE F." Mommy screams as she sits bolt upright in bed.  Mommy looks
down on the floor to see Bandit and Sammy sitting in front of their empty
food bowls and staring over their shoulders, pointedly, at Mommy.  "OK, you
win, I'm up, I'm up!  I'll feed your kitty hiney-ness"

Hugs,

CatNipped