SMOKEY:  Are ya' bein' FED?  If you are, it ain't so bad.  Maybe you
c'n flirt with the people who feed ya...y'know, purring and snuggling
and big round sad eyes....an' they might take ya home.  And if not, ya
still get FED.

TYCHE:  SCREAM!!!  A LOT!!!  YELL YOUR STUPID HEADS OFF!!!  I CAN DO
THIS FOR FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa.....

KUMANI:  Go into the back of your cage.  Try to get under something.
Curl into tiny balls and repeat, "The vet does not exist and there are
no butt thermometers."

NOCTURNE:  Inform them that when they die, they will go to Hell and you
will eat their souls.  In the meantime, bite them.

--Fil

Oh no!!! I'm afraid we can't free you from prison, as we have no idea where
you are. Our  advice is to look forlorn and lonely, and maybe your jailers
will have pity on you and give you emergency ear scritches or poke a toy
into your cell. We hate to say this, but we think maybe your Meowmie
betrayed you, and put you in there so she can take something called a
vaycayshun.  Our meowmie has been mentioning that she means to go on one
too, soon. But she has assured us that a nice lady will be coming daily to
feed us while she's gone.  But if your Meowmie has only been on vaycayshun,
she WILL come back for you when it's over.  You won't be in prison for very
long, maybe.

When she does, make it VERY clear to her that being stuck in a cage for
several days while she's off enjoying herself is not acceptable catslave
behavior.  This calls for noisy hurkings up of large hairballs in the wee
hours of the morning. If you can aim the hairballs at places where she's
most likely to step in the middle of the night, so much the better.  Punish
her. Turn your back when she calls you. Give her wounded looks. ALternately,
be a velcro cat and make sure she knows how much you missed her so that
she'll be crippled by guilt!

Panther, Francesca and NIna.

Blimey, dat very scary.  Ent dere no way yu could escape and run ome?

Boyfriend