Lots of purrs on the way.

I know first hand how incredibly difficult this can all be.  I hope
everything falls into place for everyone's sake.

Jo

My mother is also 89 and is in a nursing home.  Fortunately, she has never
gone through a period of raving, screaming, etc.; so I have been spared
that -- but (tragically) is is all too common.  I was my mother's caretaker
for 5 years, but she is now almost completely bedridden.  Please tell John
that it is incredibly painful to place a parent in a nursing home, but both
she and he will be much better.  I simply could not give her the care she
needed because I didn't have the skills or facilities -- and that was true
even though I had certain safety devices built into my home just for her.
But, I simply could not lift her, turn her, clean her in the same way that
staff at the nursing home can, etc.  It had also gotten to the point where
it simply wasn't safe to leave her alone when I was at work (and it sounds
like that would be even more true for John's mother because she apparently
lives alone).  So, I cried all the way home for the first few days after I
placed her in the nursing home; but she is now safer honestly is better
cared-for than what I could provide on my own.  I visit her several times a
week and we are now able to have very nice conversations instead of having
continual worry for her safety.  Mother is actually remarkably cheerful
almost every time I visit, and she genuinely likes many of the staff (and
they clearly are fond of her).  I hope John will be able to find a similar
situation for his mother.  Even at best, though, it is a traumatic decision
to face.

MaryL

Purrs are on their way.  I'm so glad she agreed.  So many people don't,
especially if they're slipping into dementia.

Purrs a-comin' for John 's Ma.
My own is 86 and still fiercely independent. I live in dread of the same
sort of day coming.

Best

Gordon & the TT (FF soon)

Purrs for John and his mother.

Sure thing.  Elder care can be a worrisome thing, I know.

My two are fine purrers.  Heidi has a low, gravelly sound that
projects well, and she'll fire it up at any hint of a little
'hands on'.  Will is a marathoner who has been known to purr for
over 2 hrs non-stop.

Purrs are on the way to John and his mother.  Dementia in any form is
no fun for family members, and the decision to put a family member in
a nursing home can be devastating.

Purrs and Hugs,

Nan

Lots of purrs for John; his situation is very difficult and I hope he can
resolve it well and quickly.
Christine

I'm so sorry to hear this about John's mom!  Purrs coming that things will
go smoothly for them.

Hugs,

CatNipped

Purrs going out to you, Jill.  My dad is going through something
similar with his own mother, but she isn't quite that bad yet.
It's only a matter of time till we take Nauna's cigarettes away ...

Debby
Age 35
One Grandparent Left