We've had the gassing contest, then the staring contest, and last week, the
waking contest.

Day one:  5 am:  I am awakened by the feeling that flies are walking all
over my face and congregating on my cheeks.  I open my eyes to see white fur
with a little black goatee hanging less than an inch from my face.  I curse
and push Tanada from my head.  Of course claws dig into my collar bone, and
a tail drifts down into the front of my night gown.  Later on, I see someone
asleep on my printer and, dribble water on her pointed little head before
using a towel to dry the rest of it off my hands.  She hisses, I hiss back.

Day two:  4:40 am:  I am awakened by little cat feet exploring the contours
of my face, paying special attention to my cheeks.  A tail is stuck down the
front of my night gown, tickling the anatomy hidden within.  Later, I see
Tanada sacked out on my computer desk blocking the view from the screen.  I
dribble diet cola onto her pointed little head, using a straw I have in my
glass.  She gives me a dirty look and hisses.  I hiss back.

Day three:  5:50 am:  I am awakened by a little cat nose sniffing my
cheekbone, followed by a rough tongue rasping the skin off my nose.  It
takes a long time to clean my nose, but I try to be patient.  It is only
when she decides to clean inside each nostril as well as the outside that I
react.  This time the tail is not down the inside of my night gown.  It is
slapping the inside of my forearm.  Later I see that Tanada has somehow
pulled the keyboard shelf from under the desk and is sleeping on the keys.
I cannot use water or diet cola on her this time.  So, I pet her fur with my
hand running from south to north.  She mews then hisses at me before
retreating to the cat tower beside my desk.  I hiss back.

Day four:  3 something am:  I am awakened by the stench of the most horrid
roadkill ever to enter within any abode.  I jerk away from the stench and
hear purring.  I open my eyes, find that I am standing on the side of the
bed, and Tanada is laying on my pillow with a smug look on her face.  I
surrender and apologize for any and all inconvenience that I have caused her
during the last thirteen years.  Tanada is still queen and current winner of
the GOW wars.

Pam S.  who may learn a lesson from this some day....