I figured we all need to relax a little bit, so here's a couple of jokes.

      Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a
young trainee were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They
parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the
other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window
watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

        Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his
younger co-worker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to
prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

        As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady
from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They
stopped immediately and asked her what was wrong.

        Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I saw two gasmen running
as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"

 These two guys walk into a bar, and they've each got a black eye. The
 bartender asks the first guy, "What happened to you?"

 The guy responds, "I had a slight mishap of words with my wife. You
 see, we were getting plane tickets, and the lady behind the terminal
 was REALLY good looking you see, and I accidentally said, 'Two pickets
 to Tits-burg, please!' and I MEANT to say, 'Two tickets to
 Pittsburgh!' and she hit me."

 The bartender looks at the second guy and asks, "And you?"

 The guy responds, "I had a slight mishap of words also. This morning,
 while I was eating breakfast, I meant to say, 'Please, pass the
 margarine', but instead, I accidentally said, 'You stupid bitch,
 you've ruined my life.'"