Purrss for Girly, Spot, and George--and a concerned Cat Mewomy

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Jen M. - 17 Jun 2005 19:42 GMT

Please hold prayers for Girly. Send her lots of love, warmth, peace, and
healing.

She is quite thin--not sure why she isn't eating. I feel it is a comfort and
safety issue. She makes her self quite small and is very timid. She shakes
the whole time I am holding her. Still doesn't come out and such.

Not sure what to do or how to help her. All the books say to leave a cat and
they will eventually come out--but she is quite thin and shakey. If I left
her alone she would be under a blanket 24 hours a day and not get used to me
or her environment. I have been getting her out from the side of the bed
daily and putting her on a napping pad in the sunshine in front of the patio
doors--Spot too. She will lay on this napping pad the whole time that I am
home--never moving to a comfy position, get food or water, use the litter,
venture out to play and cruise--nothing--she makes herself as small as
possible and is like a statue.

Does Girly need an appetite stimulant?

It is heartbreaking to see a cat so scared and a bit disconcerting to see a
cat so spooked to see me or as skittish around me as they all are.

Is this the best home for Girly? And, Spot and George?

They said that she needed a cat to shadow--but neither George or Spot is
doing this for her.

The foster mom said she was a healthy cat and to not take her to the vet--
this would be a trauma for her and start us back to square one.

Not sure what to do here. Is this her nature--I mean is the best that it
will get?

Spot has been hiding this week too--grrrrrrrr. All the cats are still pretty
skittish of me. Spot will occassionally let me pet him--but is doing even
less now. Is this the right home for him?

It's been pretty difficult. I am used to sassy cats who make my home theirs
and give me sh*t when I do something not to their liking.

Is this Spot's nature too?

George loves on me--but is quite skittish of me too.

I in a somewhat fashion--forced fed a bit of tuna to Girly hoping to spur her
appetite.

Are they picking stuff up from me that hinders our bonding? With all the
issues and skittishness--I am wondering if I am even suppose, or inclined, to
be a cat meowmy?????????

Finally, after haggling for a month with the humane society--they are going
to do Spot's dental and fix the other dental issues and provide any
medication he may need. Once they saw how bad his teeth were they were
extremely apologetic. I am working to not be angry at all the things they
said and did this last month. grrrrrrrr And work on being thankful that he
is getting the work done. They let him go for over a year--and now a month--
with his teeth in this condition and an infection!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!

About every mistake you could make with cats I have done--grrrrrrr. I have
pulled back from them a bit because I don't know how to help them. They
aren't interested in play, food, cuddles, toys, etc. I don't know how to
relate to them or how to help them be comfortable.

I used to like cats--maybe I don't now???? Maybe I changed. Or, not as
loving and warm as I thought? Maybe it was selfish of me to have the cats
before?

Sincerely,
A concerned meowmy

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Adrian - 17 Jun 2005 20:32 GMT

> Please hold prayers for Girly. Send her lots of love, warmth, peace,
> and healing.

<snip>

Deep rumbly purrs on the way. I think she just needs time but it can't
hurt to talk to your vet for more advice.

Signature

Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
A house is not a home, without a cat.

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Debra Berry - 17 Jun 2005 21:15 GMT

Hi,

If you adopted your kitties from the shelter, they were probably living
in
cages and not used to much space. Do they all get along? If they do,
the
best thing to do is:
- Put them into one room that doesn't have a bed or couch in
it (or anything they can hide under).
- Put their food and litter box(es) in there with them and also play a
radio
softly. Spend time in the room doing something quiet, like reading,
and
sometimes play with a cat toy that might interest them, even if they
won't
play with you.
- Hold each one wrapped lightly in a towel or blanket for a little while
each
day, even if they don't want to be held, as long as they aren't
aggressive to
you. Sing to them and rub the outside of the towel lightly.
- Put a little tuna or baby food (without onion) on plates near them to
tempt them
to come forward. When them start that, put some baby food on your
finger and
offer it to them.

I volunteer with the SPCA and have fostered lots of feral kittens and
scaredy cats.
They need to start getting used to you in a smallish place without
hiding places.
People make the mistake of overwhelming them by setting them free in the
house.
Let them get used to you first in one room, then start letting them
wander
around the rest of the house.

Wishing you good luck with your kitties. They will come around, be
patient and
move slowly with them.

Debbie
dberry@mitre.org

> Please hold prayers for Girly. Send her lots of love, warmth, peace, and
> healing.
[quoted text clipped - 71 lines]
> Message posted via CatKB.com
> http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200506/1

Reply to this Message

Jen M. - 17 Jun 2005 21:44 GMT

Hi there--thank you ladies. I guess I am just having one of those days.
Grrrrr

I adoped Girly and George a little over two months ago and Spot a little over
a month ago. George and Girly are almost two and George is a little over
five years old.

I live in an apartment that is all open with no doors--cute place--but didn't
think about it not being the ideal place for cats. The bathroom and closet
are the only two rooms that have doors. I did have to seal up underneath my
modular bed--Girly stayed there for the first month and anytime the cats got
skittish they ran under there.

There are plenty of places for them to hide and curl up at their leisure--but
had to make all the places to where I could get to them if needed.

What would you suggest for Girly to spur her appetite? Am I going to do
further dis-harmony if I force feed her tuna? I hold her and put it in the
side of her mouth and make sure that I get plenty of tuna juice and pieces on
her so that she gets more when she licks to clean herself up.

I had girly in my lap today for about 20 minutes and Spot in my lap for about
thirty minutes. I brushed Spot--the whole time he did the deep belly growls--
but never was aggressive with me. To do anything with the cats--pet them,
brush and groom, etc. I have to chase them down--I am certain that this isn't
the ideal way--but they don't come when you call them and never are coaxed
into it on their own.

I feel like one of those cartoon characters chasing cats and stuffing them in
bags to make them play with them. grrrrrr They are shedding lots and on top
of what comes out when I brush and pet them--I am vacuuming up enough fur to
fill my vacuum canister daily--so I have to brush them, right? I talk softly
and coo to them when I am holding them.

I never holler at them or am rough with them. Will we eventually be arlight--
or am I not the person for them? I have had cats before--but had gotten them
as kittens.

I am home during the day like nine hours a day--they are all generally
sleeping when I am home. I am certain that this effects the bonding time--
because when they are awake and playful--I am gone.

I made a commitement when I adopted them--and don't take this lightly. But,
if they aren't able to feel safe and adjust with me--then just live with
skittish cats? George is the playful and more acclimated one and I am
certain that he is pretty bored. The cats get along o.k.--George sometimes
taunts them when he is bored--but that seems to be lessening--but none of
them really curl up toether, snuggle or nap with each other, or play with
each other. Is this common with adults cats being brought together as adults?
They seem to be with each other as they are with me--make sense?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr We have overcome several of the major issues that we were
having--and I hate sounding like a drama queen--but it doesn't feel
comfortalbe like second nature to none of us. If I get up to do something
all of the cats are on alert and scatter. My other cats didn't care what I
did--I mean they were either used to it, ignored it, or went back to sleep.

Sincerely,
Jen

>Hi,
>
[quoted text clipped - 45 lines]
>> Sincerely,
>> A concerned meowmy

Reply to this Message

Karen - 17 Jun 2005 23:51 GMT

OK, my suggestion is that 1) talk to a vet, and buy some a/d to feed Girly.
It is *highly* palatable and packs more calories. The tuna is not helping to
fatten her up and is not nutritionally sufficient. In large amounts can even
be harmful. 2) I would not pull her out. I would put everything so that you
can be *by* her, even if it is under something. If you can afford it, get a
couple of little cat cabins like they have at Walmart or Petco so they can
go IN something, feel safe, but still be accessible. Then, I really suggest
reading to them. It is something to do to interact with them, but not
physically interfere if they do not want to it. And last, I would make sure
I did it all on a very structured habitual manner. Cats love routine. If you
have everything always at a certain time, it provides them with structure
and comfort.

Reply to this Message

Steve Touchstone - 18 Jun 2005 08:59 GMT

>Hi there--thank you ladies. I guess I am just having one of those days.
>Grrrrr
>
>I adoped Girly and George a little over two months ago and Spot a little over
>a month ago. George and Girly are almost two and George is a little over
>five years old.

I think you're doing pretty well in a short time. Sometimes people
luck out and a cat is a luv bug the moment you get them home, while
some take a long time before they'll even tolerate being near you.
Could be something in their past, or just their own unique
personality. One of my brothers had a cat that had never been abused
or mistreated, yet was always a scaredy cat and spent most of its time
hiding from everyone. Hopefully, with time, you crew will grow more
accustomed to you and you'll have them fighting for space on your lap.

>I live in an apartment that is all open with no doors--cute place--but didn't
>think about it not being the ideal place for cats. The bathroom and closet
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>There are plenty of places for them to hide and curl up at their leisure--but
>had to make all the places to where I could get to them if needed.

I'd just get as close to them as I could, then pretend to ignore them
and let them investigate me when they get comfortable enough to come
out of their hiding place. Maybe just sit and read near where they are
hiding for a half hour or so at a time.

I pretty much followed this procedure when I was trying to gain the
trust of a feral, and though it took months. Course this was an
outside cat, not exactly your situation, so hopefully it woldn't take
you nearly as long. Eventually, this feral guy became a member of the
family and became my Rocky. Sadly, he crossed the Rainbow Bridge not
long ago, but he'll always hold a very special place in my heart and I
treasure all the firsts now that I look back - first purr, first time
he jumped up in my lap, etc.

>What would you suggest for Girly to spur her appetite? Am I going to do
>further dis-harmony if I force feed her tuna? I hold her and put it in the
>side of her mouth and make sure that I get plenty of tuna juice and pieces on
>her so that she gets more when she licks to clean herself up.

I'd really suggest at least calling a vet, as there could be a medical
cause if she's losing weight. It be that she's a picky eater. Check
with the foster family and find out what she ate before, and try
feeding that. Strange as it may sound, some cats don't like tuna, so
that may not be the thing to try, especially as it doesn't really
fulfill all her dietary needs, and it wouldn't help for her to decide
to only eat tuna in the future.

>I had girly in my lap today for about 20 minutes and Spot in my lap for about
>thirty minutes. I brushed Spot--the whole time he did the deep belly growls--
[quoted text clipped - 84 lines]
>>> Sincerely,
>>> A concerned meowmy

Signature

Steve Touchstone,
faithful servant of Sammy and Little Bit

stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email]
Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html
Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html

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Julie Cook - 17 Jun 2005 21:39 GMT

> Please hold prayers for Girly. Send her lots of love, warmth, peace, and
> healing.

Jen,
You're a very good Meowmy because you are concerned about the well fare
of your three bitties. The eating issues would concern me enough to ask
the advice of a vet. How old is Girly? You might have to feed her with
a syringe for awhile to make sure she is getting nourishment. As far as
being skittish and hiding all the time, sometimes it just takes a while
for them to feel comfortable. Selena has lived with us for 5 years now
and she will still run and hide under the bed if we move to fast or
speak to loudly. The other day I dropped a canister of sugar and as it
was falling to the floor (all 5 pounds of it) I said something I
shouldn't, rather loudly. I didn't see Selena again for several hours.
She spent most of the first two years with us under the bed. We joked
that we were raising a set of eyes under our bed rather than a cat.

What totally surprised me recently was Barnabus. When our cat sitter
came in to meet the cats Barnabus ran and hid under the bed near Lacey
(who hides when we have strangers in the house but is otherwise
unskittish). Barnabus will run when we first come in the house each and
every night. I sincerely thought we had catnapped this cat (on a very
cold weekend) because he had been neutered but apparently he was out on
his own long enough that humans scare him.

Give them all time and eventually (and hopefully it won't take years
like Selena) they will begin to trust you and there isn't anything as
satisfying as the moment they come to you out of trust.

Hugs and purrs to all of you that your relationship together gets better.

Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus

Reply to this Message

Singh - 18 Jun 2005 04:19 GMT

Many purrs and prayers for Girly, for her peace and stess-less integration.

Don't beat yourself up. We had quite a time with Roxie when we got her, and
Odessa hid for four months before she got the nerve to mix in with the rest
of us.

Girly reminds me a lot of Roxie. Our Roxie is healthy and sinewy, a very
slim cat. How she shocked me and my Louie when she jumped over seven feet in
the air to get to the top of a cabinet, with no more effort than it takes to
lift a cup of tea! She eats the least of all the cats, preferring to graze
rather than chow down. You may simply have your own little grazer.

Odessa had been feral, days away from death by starvation and dehydration
when found, and had been returned three times to the shelter because the
previous adopters hadn't understood how to work with ferals. One owner loved
her, but a family member had to be taken to hospital for severe allergies,
so that return spooked her. We were her fourth adopters, and we just let her
be. We just let her be a cat, and get to know us and the other cats on her
own terms. She now stays with us and is very affectionate, and we don't have
to pull her out of the rafters any more.

Give the kitties time. They have to work out their social order, and your
shy little Girly will learn to trust before you know it. If she doesn't have
signs of lethargy, bad litter habits or other signs of sickness, be watchful
and patient. You'll know when it's vet time, if it ever comes to it. The
other cats, too; They just need time to get used to everything, and each
other, and yeah, you too. But don't give up!!! You have done nothing wrong.

You'll learn eventually what they like as individuals for play and treats,
etc. We have four and they all have different interests. Roxie's appetite
goes ballistic for a bit of ham. She likes to just sniff catnip, while Stosh
and Brandy chow on it, and Odessa will only be held on HER terms.

Purrs for you too, Catmama, for your own peace and patience. You'll be fine.

Blessed be,
Baha

Reply to this Message

Jen M. - 18 Jun 2005 07:31 GMT

Thank you ladies. Ok, I can do this! ;-P~~

Ok, so don't get Girly and Spot out from the bed daily?

I bought a square cat box for Girly--she isn't interested in it and Spot has
been in it a couple of times.

I will call the vet and ask about a/d. I have dry food out and she eats that
as her main food--but today tried some fo the tuna to maybe spur her appetite.

Ok, just time. They are fine if I provide all the essentials and ensure that
they are healthy--then leave it to them to interact their own way--and that
is fine. I am not being remiss if I don't get them feeling safe and not
skittish.

I happen to be home tonight--this is the second night that i have had off
since Feb.--and Girly is out cruising and such--so I do feel that a bit
contributor to us bonding is my schedule--but can't be helped.

Girly is, I believe, 2 years old.

You know, she may be a grazer and with all this transition stuff--may be
amplifying it. Ok, will talk with the vet.

Ok, if I don't get them out from under the blanket--do I still brush them and
stuff? I mean how do I balance this?

Thank you ladies! Was a rough meowmie day. Girly was just cruising and in
her element--just saw me and a look of terror washed over her face--she made
herself small and disappeared again!!! Amazing at how small she can make
herself--she is a really long cat--she is a tortie cat--breaks my heart to
see her make herself small when I know she is a Diva!

Much love to all of you!

Sincerely,
Jen, Spot, George, and Ms. Girly Diva

>Many purrs and prayers for Girly, for her peace and stess-less integration.
>
[quoted text clipped - 33 lines]
>Blessed be,
>Baha

Reply to this Message

Singh - 19 Jun 2005 04:23 GMT

> Thank you ladies. Ok, I can do this! ;-P~~
>
> Ok, so don't get Girly and Spot out from the bed daily?

Cats seem to like their hidey-holes. Some months ago Roxie brought down a
sheer curtain and made a nest of it beneath the Archie Chair. (Named for
Archie Bunker, who let no one sit in HIS chair. Stosh owns it and won't let
anyone, cat or human, park it there.) Roxie will sit and do her yoga
exercises on that curtain, and we won't move it because it's hers, and she
has a feeling of peace there. They like their own little niches. It may be
under the bed for yours. You've only had them a couple of months, and they
have their little territory issues to work out. When the air clears and the
nerves get less jangled, you'll find the kitties coming around more.

> I will call the vet and ask about a/d. I have dry food out and she eats that
> as her main food--but today tried some fo the tuna to maybe spur her appetite.

Catnip is an appetite stimulant too. Also, consider jacking up the flavor
with a splash of organic beef or chicken broth from the health food section
of your grocery, fat-free, no salt. When my Fritzie (RB) was on the diabetic
diet, he loathed his special food, and this gave him some much-needed
variety. Definately get vet approval. I'm no expert!

> Ok, just time. They are fine if I provide all the essentials and ensure that
> they are healthy--then leave it to them to interact their own way--and that
> is fine. I am not being remiss if I don't get them feeling safe and not
> skittish.

You are a damn good Catmama, because you're putting their needs first. It
takes time for a lot of cats. Stosh and Brandy took to us and our home right
away, but for Roxie and Odessa it was several months. They are much like
people, individuals in their own right. It doesn't sound like they are
beating the snot out of each other (the occasional growl and hiss is normal
in any multicat home) so you've done them more good than you may realize.
Make sure they have the necessary check-ups, and barring illness you simply
have a home full of little individuals. And yes, getting used to eating
habits will take time for you too. We took Roxie in because we were
concerned for her eating, and the vet told us that we weren't used to seeing
fit and athletic cats!

> I happen to be home tonight--this is the second night that i have had off
> since Feb.--and Girly is out cruising and such--so I do feel that a bit
> contributor to us bonding is my schedule--but can't be helped.

Quality time is more of the essence. My husband and I have different
schedules, and it bites, but we manage. Get some catnip bubbles to blow so
they can get into some interactive play with you after work, brush them when
you can get them out in the open, drag around a shoelace for them to chase,
make up kitty songs for each of them. That last may sound silly, but our
cats love having their own kitty song, and Roxie will sing along with Louie!

> You know, she may be a grazer and with all this transition stuff--may be

amplifying it. Ok, will talk with the vet.
Good move!

> Ok, if I don't get them out from under the blanket--do I still brush them and
> stuff? I mean how do I balance this?

With the love and patience that you have in you already. Maybe get one of
those grooming mitts so you can pet them and get rid of the excess fur; this
is the only way we can do Stosh, who thinks that the brush is a toy and will
smack the hell out of it.

> Thank you ladies! Was a rough meowmie day. Girly was just cruising and in
> her element--just saw me and a look of terror washed over her face--she made
> herself small and disappeared again!!! Amazing at how small she can make
> herself--she is a really long cat--she is a tortie cat--breaks my heart to
> see her make herself small when I know she is a Diva!

In time, that diva will come out. Roxie was a scared, bony little thing when
we rescued her. You should see her now, she carries herself like a beauty
queen. And it took well over four months to get Odessa's trust, and she's
still on the skittish side and must be approached very gently. Besides, cats
are intuitive little people, and know you love them. They'll come to trust
you before you know it. I think you said they're shelter cats, and one's a
feral? They need special patience, and I think you have it in you. Don't
give up. You'll be swimming in kitty-love before long, and that scared look
will be a mere memory. You're doing fine. Keep it up!

Blessed be,
Baha

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polonca12000 - 19 Jun 2005 10:13 GMT

You are a good meowmie.
Lots of purrs and best wishes for the kitties to relax,

Signature

Polonca & Soncek

> Please hold prayers for Girly. Send her lots of love, warmth, peace, and
> healing.
>
> She is quite thin--not sure why she isn't eating. I feel it is a comfort and
> safety issue. She makes her self quite small and is very timid. She shakes
> the whole time I am holding her. Still doesn't come out and such.

<snip>

> I used to like cats--maybe I don't now???? Maybe I changed. Or, not as
> loving and warm as I thought? Maybe it was selfish of me to have the cats
> before?
>
> Sincerely,
> A concerned meowmy

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