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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / June 2005OT joke: Poultry in Motion
A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): Zebediah was in the fertilized-egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs. Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell had not rung at all! Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the Pulletsurprise.  SignatureMarina, Frank and Miranda. In loving memory of Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki LOL...I love puns. >A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I >subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the > Pulletsurprise. > A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I > subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the > Pulletsurprise. That was terrible! Thanks for posting it. :-) SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. >A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I >subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] >The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the >Pulletsurprise. I love that joke!!!!! Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Loved it! Thanks, Marina. Purrs, hugs and best wishes, SignaturePolonca & Soncek > A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I > subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb > got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. <snip> > Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair. > Brewster was an overnight sensation > > The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the > Pulletsurprise. >> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I >> subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] >> The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the >> Pulletsurprise. Zebediah's neighbor, Ezekiel, had a similar problem with a new rooster he bought. Seems the bird was /seriously/ over-enthusiastic about his job, futtering every hen several times a day. When the hens took to hiding in their hen-house, staying up on the rods, Randy Rooster went after the turkeys, then the smaller farm animals. After about a week, Zeke walked out in the farmyard one day, and saw his very expensive rooster lying flat on his back! Crying out, "Oh no! He's done screwed hisself to death!", Zeke rushed over to him. As he bent over to gather up the rooster, the bird opened one eye and hissed: "Shhhh! Buzzards." SignatureMoses.DukeOfUrl@gmail.com Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler, Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid Here's another one: This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster named Chuck. He'll service every hen you got, no problem." Well, Chuck the rooster is expensive, but the farmer decides he's worth it. So, he buys Chuck. The farmer takes Chuck home and sets him down in the barnyard, first, giving the rooster a pep talk: "Chuck, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of hens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said, with a chuckle. Chuck seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Chuck took off like a shot. - WHAM! - Chuck nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. Then the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, and, sure enough, Chuck is in there. Later, the farmer sees Chuck after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, - WHAM! - He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Chuck out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught-worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Chuck dead as a doorknob, stone cold in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh Chuck, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "Shhhh, they're getting closer..." > Here's another one: > [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > Chuck opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in > the sky and says, "Shhhh, they're getting closer..." This one reminds me of a sone I heard on Bob & Tom once, about a rooster that goes after everything..... even inanimate objects. Including a non-working gumball machine in the back shed. Gumball machine miraculously starts working after that. It starts giving out Chicklets. SignatureThe ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep >A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I >subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): A real groaner -- an apt description. Thanks. Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe > A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I > subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): Thanks for giving me an earworm with "She Blinded Me with Science" by Thomas Dolby. Jill >> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that I >> subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats recently...): [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Jill AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com >>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that >>> I subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >> >> Jill AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A! > Theresa > Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh > My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com Dang, you too?! http://www.prebble.com/sheblinded.htm ROFL! Jill >>>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that >>>> I subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > >Jill The 80s!!!!!! The 80s!!!!!!!! Will we never be free??????????? (going away singing "Come on Eileen") Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com >>>>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board >>>>> that [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > (going away singing "Come on Eileen") How about 8675309??? :D Can anyone name the first musiv video broadcast by MTV???? (answer after my sig) SignatureThe ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep "Video Killed the Radio Star" buy The Buggles, aired on August 1, 1981. <wanders off to think up more useless 80s trivia> >>>>>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board >>>>>> that [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] >Can anyone name the first musiv video broadcast by MTV???? (answer after my >sig) Video Killed the Radio Star, I'm afraid. I once got an embarassingly high score on an 80s music quiz. Everybody Wang Chung tonight. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com >>>>>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board >>>>>> that [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] >>>>> >>>>> Jill AaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA >>> A! >>>> [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > <wanders off to think up more useless 80s trivia> Now I've got an earworm. ;-) SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. >The 80s!!!!!! The 80s!!!!!!!! Will we never be free??????????? > >(going away singing "Come on Eileen") Hopefully never! SignatureCathi An Eighties devotee and proud of it >>>> A real groaner that was posted to a translators' message board that >>>> I subscribe to (and there was some talk about belling cats [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > http://www.prebble.com/sheblinded.htm > ROFL! LUVit! I /like/ earworms, and this is one of the best. SignatureMoses.DukeOfUrl@gmail.com Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler, Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid > Thanks for giving me an earworm with "She Blinded Me with Science" by Thomas > Dolby. Ok, now you gave me that earworm. <Got to find another song to think about. Got to find another song to think about. .... > >> Thanks for giving me an earworm with "She Blinded Me with Science" by >Thomas [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] ><Got to find another song to think about. Got to find another song to think >about. .... > We would be happy to oblige. :P Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com <snip> We would be happy to oblige. :P > How about "I Ran" - Flock of Seagulls, or "Take on Me" by Aha! or, my least favourite earworm - "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winters? (shudder) Patti (now going off to listen to some Enya to try to remove that song from her head!) > <snip> > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > Patti (now going off to listen to some Enya to try to remove that > song from her head!) BZZZZZT! Sorry, "Frankenstein" was totally 70's. Jill ><snip> > > We would be happy to oblige. :P > >> How about "I Ran" - Flock of Seagulls, or "Take on Me" by Aha! >or, my least favourite earworm - >"Frankenstein" by Edgar Winters? (shudder) That's from the 70s! Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com How about "I Ran" - Flock of Seagulls, or "Take on Me" by Aha! or, my least favourite earworm - "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winters? (shudder) > That's from the 70s! < You are right! Sorry - still can't stand that song! This is one of my least favourite songs from th 80's: Culture Club's Do you really want to hurt me? (YES, I REALLY DO - don't tempt me!) Patti > How about "I Ran" - Flock of Seagulls, or "Take on Me" by Aha! > or, my least favourite earworm - [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Patti The worst earworm of all surely - not from the 80's - Message in a bottle. Message in a bottle. Message in a bottle. <scream> Tweed > How about "I Ran" - Flock of Seagulls, or "Take on Me" by Aha! >or, my least favourite earworm - [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > >Patti BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Boy George is certainly one of the finalists in the "Annoying 80s" competition, "Dude Looks Like a Lady" division. ;) A very large lady. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com |
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