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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / May 2005Nikki 1988 - 2005
I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal summer island. Nikki came to me in October 1988 as a fiesty little girl, who immediately took over the house and made Frank her adoptive mummy. Out on the island, she soon showed everyone what an accomplished huntress she was. She also made it clear that she cannot tolerate other cats, as she attcked all the other cats that spent/spend their summers on the island. This spring she surprised me several times after I brought home a new kitten and Nikki was the first to play and interact with the new member of the household. Last night, Nikki came into bed and settled down beside Frank to sleep. Frank gave her a long good wash, which didn't happen every evening lately. Maybe he knew she wasn't feeling good? She showed me no signs of being ill. The worst thing is remembering how I forced the new medicine into her. She spit out the pill a couple of times, but I always forced it back, and now it looks like this new medicine is what caused her to have a fit. And I made her take it. Well, at least she had Frank giving her some TLC, when her Meowmie only did horrible things to her. They are going to cremate her at the vet school and send me the ashes. I am going to sprinkle them out on the island this summer, so my darling Nikki will be on her beloved island forever. I'm glad I'd had that planned for a long time now for my cats, because I wouldn't have been able to make any decisions when I talked to the vet. Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say goodbye would have been for me, not for her. I couldn't face the long ride into town. If I'd have lived closer to the vet school, I might have been able to get Nikki there in time to save her. If I hadn't given her the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting her throuhg this suffering.  SignatureMarina [snips] > IIf I hadn't given her > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, There is no way you could have known - everything you did was an attempt to *alleviate* her suffering. I'm sure she knows that too. I sit here, crying for your great loss, but smiling for having shared in Nikki's life through your posts to RPCA. Hugs and Purrs, Mark SignatureProof of Sanity Forged Upon Request >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. I'm so sorry, Marina! It's not your fault about the medicine, although I know how you feel. We do so much to protect and care for our kitties, and the worst feeling is when you feel as though you've let them down. But you've been a wonderful mewomie. It'll always feel strange to me that we can outlive something as beautiful and precious as Nikki. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] >-- >Marina Dear Marina, I am so awfully sorry to read this. A wonderful lady cat has left us. We will always remember her. Try not to dwell on all the "ifs". We can never know what would have happened IF we had done things differently. Nikki had a long and active and wonderful life with you and Frank. That is what we know. That is something to be remembered. Hugo Katt, who is a very skilful hunter himself, has always admired Nikkis' hunting skill. Swimming cat huntress! Who can beat that. Lots and lots of hugs and purrs to you and Frank and Mere from Elisabet and Hugo Katt > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > hadn't given her the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll > never forgive myself for putting her throuhg this suffering. I'm so very sorry Marina, I just sent purrs then saw your post. I will light a candle for Nikki. Hugs, purrs and tears. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy, Milo & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal >summer island. Oh no! My deepest, deepest sympathies, Marina. I'm so very, very sorry to hear of Nikki's passing. Thank you for being such a lovely carer for such a lovely cat and for bringing tales of her adventures to me. Nikki is missed but never forgotten. A candle will be lit for her this evening. Gentle *hugs* helen s I'm sure Nikki is hunting voles now, and probably teaching some others how to do it. I know how you must feel about not being able to be there, as I couldn't be there too in December when my Emmy ferret had to be released during an operation. Wishing you lots of strenght. Nanny >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. I can always tell when I've grown attached to one of the kitties here because I cry like crazy when I find out they have gone to the rainbow bridge. I haven't quit crying for 30 minutes. I can only imagine how much harder it must be for you Marina. But please don't make this harder on yourself by beating yourself up over whether you did what was right for her or not. You were trying your best to give Nikki the best medical treatment you knew how to get for her. You can't do any better than that. Your stories about Nikki made her real to me and I will miss them. Bridget > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Please dont blame yourself Marina like some of the others I got to your post late and had just sent Purrs, when I got to the farewell. I couldn't believe it, I was already crying, I'm still crying Look, when my eldest son died,{ misadventure} his brother Phil beat himself up with, 'if only I'd waited for him to get out of the shower he would have been with me' this went on for months till I had to get tough with him,I couldn't let him go on blaming himself for something that was not his fault, and you mustn't either Marina, You gave Nikki a wonderful life, and you were trying to help her, we are all grieving with you Marina and we all love you, take comfort in the fact that she had a good life and a long life,and was very happy with you as her mamma. Love'n Hugs Jean. > I can always tell when I've grown attached to one of the kitties here > because I cry like crazy when I find out they have gone to the rainbow [quoted text clipped - 46 lines] > > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > > putting her throuhg this suffering. I can't even find the words. I am so, so, so sorry, Marina. I've been dreading a message like this from you for a while now. Poor Nikki. But at least it wasn't a long, dragged out illness. Do they know what the problem was with the new meds? Was she allergic to them? Please don't beat yourself up about it, there's no way you could have known and you were only trying to do what's best for your baby. Many hugs and purrs and tears, -- Britta "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -- Unknown Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > hadn't given her the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll > never forgive myself for putting her throuhg this suffering. Oh Marina, I'm so sorry. I can't read your post right now cause I'm crying with you. Even if I never met Nikki i feel like I know her from your stories and pictures. I will picture her in my mind, hunting on the island and lazying with Frank in the sun. Soothing head butts from Thea and comforting drooly purrs from Bono. skritches to Frank and Mere kram Lena Signaturelewe lewemi at yahoo dot se | cats' pics: photos.yahoo.com/lewemi >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. Aww, Marina, don't beat yourself up. You were only trying to do what you thought was best for her, and I"m sure she knows that. It doens't sound like she suffered. May she rest in peace. {{{Marina}}} Vicky (Yowie) >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an >eternal summer island. I certainly can't say one way or the other, but you're right. Nikki should be playing, hunting, or just sunning on a rock on an island where it's always summer. I'm so sorry you lost your friend, but I want you to do something for me. Don't get caught up in wondering if you caused this by giving her some medication or other. You did the best you could for your long-time friend. That's what matters. Purrs for the three of you she left behind. -- Regards and Purrs, O J (Old John) Gritmon OMG, Marina! I am so sorry! :o( Prayers and purrs of condolence to you, Frank, and Mere are en route. Don't beat yourself up over doing what you were supposed to do and giving Nikki medicine. Lots of people on here can raise their hands and say "My cat had a bad reaction to a prescription". If any of us or our respective TEDs had expected the medicine to cause a problem, TED wouldn't have prescribed it in the first place and we wouldn't have let him/her prescribe it. The best we can do at any given moment is act on the knowledge that we have, including following the TED's instructions as closely as possible when we're treating our cats' symptoms. By that score, you were doing your best to take care of Nikki. Which, I'm sure, she knew all along. There are going to be people with MMS in all parts of the globe this morning, once this thread propagates through usenet. I am so, so sorry. We'll all miss Nikki. Donna, Captain, and Stanley > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, you can't blame yourself for this. You were doing what was best for Nikki, giving her the medication she needed to survive. I know that at some level, Nikki knew you were doing this for her own good. You're hurting enough as it is with Nikki's passing, don't increase that by blaming yourself. Frank and Mere need you. SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. You gave Nikki a good long life with you and Frank, and Mere. Winnie and Russie, who is purring for Nikki's trip to the RB. > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. What terrible news to wake up to on a Sunday morning. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know you are not in your right mind when I read "....her Meowmie only did horrible things to her." C'mon, Marina, you did the best you could. None of us is perfect. Nikki is at peace. > If I hadn't given her > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. You did what you thought was the best for her, on professional advice, and given the symptoms she had on the old meds alone, you couldn't have let her go on without doing something - so you took the very best advice available, even taking her to a specialist vet school. The only time you could rightly accuse yourself of putting her through suffering is if you had done nothing at all, and had let her go totally untreated. And that you didn't do. She would have known you were trying to help her, even if she spat the pills out, and there's no way of knowing how long she would have had left even if you hadn't tried the new pills. Try to forgive yourself because you didn't do anything wrong - put all the 'what-ifs' out of your head, because you are only human, and not also a fortune-teller, expert vet researcher or pharmacist. Nikki could not have had a better life than she had with you and Frank and Mere. I think your plan to take her ashes to the island is a beautiful one. And for what it's worth, I do believe in an afterlife and I am sure she will be on that island with you. Deb xx Signaturehttp://www.scientific-art.com "He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would; He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield {{{{{{{{{{Marina}}}}}}}}}} Like everyone else, I say that you musn't blame yourself. But I also know what you're going through. In Dec '02, we lost Ivy to CRF - and she was only 8! To this day, there is a nagging thought in the back of my mind that there was *something* else we could have done to help her. Gather Frank & Mere and give them lovin' and skritchies. Nikkie will be waiting for you at the Ranbow Bridge. SignatureThe ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > -- > Marina Oh, Marina, yours is the first post I've seen this morning and I am so terribly sorry to read the news of Nikki's passing. I do know, though, Marina, you have been an outstanding meowmie to your furkids and you only did what you thought was best for her. Please don't blame yourself --we do the best we can and we're not perfect. My heart goes out to you today and many purrs from my crew of kitties for you, Frank, Mere, and especially, to honor Nikki at the Rainbow Bridge. {{{{Marina}}} hugs and purrs, Christine, Omar, Oreo, Midnight, Robin & Tucker > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. Marina, {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Please don't blame yourself - you did what you believed was best for Nikki. On some level, she knew that. And she definitely knew that you loved her, for all the years she lived with you. Second guessing is something we all do, whatever the circumstances of our loss, when one of our fur children passes. It's human and normal. With time, you'll remember the good times with Nikki and less about her passing. She will always have a tuxedo-sized spot in your heart. Hugs, again, from someone who has been there twice. We all share your loss, as we all share your joy in Frank and Mere. Let us help you ease your sorrow. We are here to listen. Kalynnda, and the seven furries > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. {{{{{{{{{{Marina}}}}}}}}}} Ohmygawd, Marina - I'm sitting here in tears. This is the first I've seen that something was wrong with Nikki! I'm so, so sorry. You *must* know that is was *NOT* your fault! I felt the same way when Bandit's dental cleaning ending up with burns on 30% of her body - if I had not taken her for that cleaning she would have been fine. But, like you, I was trying to do what was best for my baby. There was no way that either of us could have known that something we were doing for the health and happiness of our baby would lead to harm. Of course you insisted she take her medication, you *knew* that she needed to to stay well. I know, of course, that all that won't make you feel better - people telling me that didn't make me feel better, but please try to realize this truth. A candle will be burning to help light Nikki's path to the bridge, and all our purrs are coming to you to help heal your breaking heart. Nikki lead a long and happy life because of you, her love will remain in your heart until you are ready to join her at the bridge. All our love, huts, and purr-ayers are with you now. Hugs, CatNipped >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal >summer island. Marina - your news is heartbreaking but I hope you will try to stop tormenting yourself - I read a quote one time something like "Stop beating yourself up, you did the very best you could with the knowledge you had at the time". And that's exactly what you were doing - the very best you could. The picture you posted of Nikki is wonderful - she appears to have been a happy cat and was deeply loved - she was fortunate to have such a loving meowmie - I've enjoyed so much all your anecdotes and photos of your kitties. My thoughts are with you, Frank, and Mere.............Lorna oh, Marina, don't blame yourself. You did everything that you thought (knew) would help her through her illness. Just know that she had a long and happy life with you. I'm glad you will be able to get her ashes to the island to stay forever. Our thoughts and prayers and with you and Franki and Mere. Lydia & Jazz SignatureIrulan from the stars we come to the stars we return from now until the end of time >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. My wishes for my RB guys too. Like you I beat myself up for decisions made on their behalf; I "know" that I did the right thing at the time but still... Nikki loved you and had a long life. Norm, tears and candles. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, please don't recriminate-- you believed that you were doing what was best for your girl. My heart goes out to you because my own little tuxedo girl went suddenly, almost without any warning, and I was faced with the decision with no preparation-- things happened too fast to process. You need time now for it all to catch up with you. And Frank and Mere need lost of love and pettins/skritches-- you will all help each other heal. Big powerful purrs from my goofball and me. And I'll think about Nikki and Mimi plotting some powerful tiny tuxedo mojo at the Bridge. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina... My heartfelt condolences go out to you and yours. Signature·.·´¨ ¨)) -:¦:- ¸.·´ .·´¨¨)) Laurie ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- ((¸¸ ·.· *~*LiveLoveLaugh*~* Aloha!!!!! "There is no remedy for love but to love more"... ~~Henry David Thoreau >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on >an eternal summer island. Oh Marina. I am so sorry. Poor baby. Poor Frank. Poor Mere. Poor you. Purrs and prayers for the hole in your heart. I will light a candle for Nikki to find her way, and another one for you. Nikki was a wonderful ladycat. May the pain of loss move on swiftly to the bittersweet pleasure of remembering. SignatureMogget >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki >is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. Such sad news Marina. Purrs for you, Frank and Mere. Don't beat yourself up, you did everything you could for her. OMG, Nikki!!! I'm sooooo sorry Marina, I know how much Nikki meant to you. Poor Mere, and poor Frank!! Here's a big cyber hug, and major purrs to you and your kitties. Kristi, Mischief and Imp >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. Oh, {{{{{Marina}}}}}, I am so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. You were only doing what you thought was best for your baby, and I'm sure Nikki knew that. You were a good cat mommy in trying to help her feel better. Gentle purrs for Nikki's journey, and for you, Marina, in this time of pain. Blessings, Ginger-lyn very sad Home Pages: http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/ http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) Marina, My heart is so sad for you and Frank and Mere. You gave Nikki a wonderful life (how many cats have their own island!). She will be sorely missed, but also fondly remembered by everyone in this NG, and so she lives on in our hearts. Hugs and tears, Caroline S. > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, I am very sorry to read this. Gentle crossing, sweet lady cat, with candles lighting your way. > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Don't beat yourself up over it, Marina. You did what you thought was best for her. All of us live with our own "what if?"s (more and more of them, as we grow older) but in most cases we'd probably make the same decisions, given a second chance (and no knowledge of the future). > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. Snipped... > Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was > unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina don't blame yourself. You were doing what you thought best. We all have these feelings of guilt in such circumstances. I know I'm feeling them but we can only do our best. You did that! Don't you doubt it! She was with you anyway she didn't need you physically there at the vets. Judith Prayers for you and Nikki. Judith SignatureJudith Latham Stourbridge, West Midlands. UK. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. Please do not feel guilty. You were only trying to help her. You had no idea the medicine would hurt her. Our furbabies trust us with their very lives and when something goes wrong like this, we can't help but feel guilty, that we let them down. Many of us have been through this and share your pain. I love you, Marina. I am sending soul-deep purrs and hugs. -- CATherine <in tears> I'm so so sorry for your loss, Marina. You were the best meowmie Nikki could wish for. In a way Nikki will always be with you. Lots and lots of hugs and purrs, SignaturePolonca & Soncek > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Oh Marina, How could you have known that she'd have a reaction to the new medicine? You did the best you could for her and are doing everything you can for her now. Please don't beat yourself up anymore. Frand and Mere will need you now more than ever. Pam S. {{{{{{Marina}}}}}} SignatureShirley http://community.webshots.com/user/shirleycatuk >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > hadn't given her the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll > never forgive myself for putting her throuhg this suffering. Purrs and tears from forever soul sister. Kid. Marina....anteeksi.....anteeksi for your loss of your sweet-faced girl. You gave her the best life she could have had anywhere and long did she live. Please remember your good times with her and don't blame yourself for her going to the RB, and please comfort Frank who *will* miss her, too. Nikki knew she was very much loved and cherished; please remember that. > Purrs and tears from forever soul sister. > > Kid. Marina, I'm so very sorry this happened. Even from Massachusetts I felt I knew Nikki. She was such a fearless little cat. You took wonderful care of her, unfornuately cats like people vary, not all meds work for all cats. You did what you thought was best. You loved her uncondtionally, that is so special. {[[[[[[hugs&purrs}]]]]]]]]]]]]]] Suz&Spicey > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. I do. And for me, the Rainbow Bridge ismore than just a poem. > Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was > unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. I doubt that she would have been aware that you were there. And there is nothing that you need to forgive yourself for, Marina. You were taking the advice of veterinary professionals, as we are supposed to do. You were doing your absolute best for Nikki, trying to assure that she would be as healthy as it was possible for her to be. There was absolutely no way you could have known or expected that she would have an adverse reaction to the new meds. Our kitties are aware. I'm sure that Nikki knew you were pilling her because you loved her. And I'm sure that Nikki doesn't blame you for what happened. Our purrs are enroute for Nikki's journey to the RB to be a peaceful one, and for you, Frank, and Mere to heal quickly. Dan > Our kitties are aware. I'm sure that Nikki knew you were pilling her > because you loved her. And I'm sure that Nikki doesn't blame you for > what happened. Marina, I'll just add this. I've never met a cat YET that appreciated being pilled! Certainly Pan doesn't appreciate HIS pills, and he and I have had MANY battles over this since he started taking regular medication last year. But I pilling him anyway, because I see how much better his general condition has been since he's been taking it. And YOU believed you would help Nikki by giving her the new meds. How many comic strips have we all seen about rooms in a state of wreckage, and owners half-scratched to death when they tried to administer the medicine? Nikki spat out the pill because that is what cats DO. I'm sure she had no thoughts that you intended her harm. We do the best we can with the information available to us. But I'll grant you, it's terribly hard to let Nikki go, even for those of us who were not privileged to know her in person. (((hugs))) Melissa > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island.//// I've just got home after being away for a few days and read this. {{{{{{{MARINA}}}}}}}}}} OH Marina. There is nothing I can say, apart from I share your grief and am sitting here in floods of tears crying with you. We have lit a candle for Nikki's safe passage to the bridge and are thinking of you. Helen M > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope Nikki > is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an eternal [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. "...Rise up slowly, Angel. It's hard to let you go..." Sincere condolences in the passing of Nikki. MLB > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. {{{{{Marina}}}}} Purrs of comfort for your loss. I'm sure she's teaching all the other kitties at the Rainbow Bridge the proper vole hunting technique SignatureElise (supervised by Gossamer & Jeeves) pics: http://photos.yahoo.com/dragonandthistle@snet.net <snipped> > Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was > unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for putting > her throuhg this suffering. Marina, please don't beat yourself up in any way about how you handled the situation. You absolutely did everything that was in your power and judgement to make her better. Comforting purrs for you, Frank, and Mere continuing from here. Sam. closely supervised by Mistletoe Oh no :(. I am so sorry. What a shock. lots love to you and the kitties. fuga I am so sorry to hear about Nikki. ;_; Jeanne Hedge, as directed by Natasha ============ http://www.jhedge.com Marina so sory to hear about Nikki. Please don't blame yourself. The saddest words in the any lanquage is "What IF". cora Oh Marina!!! I'm so very sorry!! Please don't blame yourself...Like many others have said, I'm absolutely positive that Nikki knew you were only trying to help her. I'm sure she's now giving hunting lessons to our Shadow, who found a mouse in the house once and wasn't quite sure what to do with it... I've lit a candle to help light her way to the RB, scented with calming lavender for you. We'll be keeping you and Nikki in our purrayers. --Kim and Lucy > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, we were all deeply saddened to hear of Nikki's passing. Our thoughts are with you, Frank, and Mere. SignatureMargaret Fine mefine@mindspring.com > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > -- > Marina Dear Marina, I am SO sorry to hear that Nikki has left you and left us. She was a great and wonderful cat, and they simply don't come with more personality than she had. What makes me even sadder than her death is the thought that you blame yourself for it and are giving yourself a bad time over it, when you most need to be kind to yourself. I'm sure Nikki knew you loved her all her life, and that she was a very lucky cat. You gave her the medicine in the belief that it would help her. Your vet must have also believed it would help her, and gave it to you in good faith. It's terribly sad that it did not. We can't foresee every variable. Nikki was after all a long-lived cat, and her lease on life may have been nearly done. Perhaps this episode may have given her a more merciful end than she might otherwise have had. I'll grant you, there is never a good day to lose a beloved animal. I've given Panther an extra long caressing session tonight, as he and Nikki were close contemporaries. ((((((Hugs)))))) Love Frank, and Love Mere, and honor the memory of Nikki. Try to think of her having a wonderful time on the summer island, young and vigorous, again. Remember how she loved being on the Island throughout the years. MY cats have never had such a wonderful summer holiday! =o) Think of how she became Mere's stepmother and taught her the fine points of what a young cat should know. But please... don't beat yourself up over this. It won't help Nikki or yourself, and it will worry Frank and Mere. Melissa > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, I'm just now catching up after the weekend and my heart just hurts so much for you and Nikki and Frank. I feel privileged to have "known" Nikki for so many years and she will remain in my heart forever. She knew love and care her entire life and you were doing the best you could for her during a difficult time. You shouldn't blame yourself for her reaction to the medication and you rushed her to healhcare as quickly as you could when you knew she was in trouble. You and Frank are going to miss her terribly, and Mere will as well I would think, but I hope that soon the grief will turn to happier memories of the times you spent together. We shall light a candle in her memory and send purrs and gentle headbutts to all of you. Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus What a beautiful tribute to one so loved. To commit her ashes to the island is a wonderful way to honor her. It is like returning her earthly self back to Luonnotar, Mother Nature Herself, that she may be in a beloved place forever; and her essence and memory remain and will remain as long as you yourself have breath. Blessed be, Baha > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > -- > Marina > They are going to cremate her at the vet school and send me the ashes. I > am going to sprinkle them out on the island this summer, so my darling > Nikki will be on her beloved island forever. I'm glad I'd had that planned > for a long time now for my cats, because I wouldn't have been able to make > any decisions when I talked to the vet. {{{{{{{{Marina}}}}}}}} - I just logged on for the first time in days. Nikki has been such a special kitty for me as I've read all of your stories over the years. It also jumps off the page the level of love and devotion and connection that you have with your cats. I know that this must be *so* hard for you and I'm sending you my best thoughts of peace and healing. As for what ifs - you've saved her life ten time over by the care that you've taken in watching her health and giving her her meds. You've agonized over how to give her her meds and many people would have given up before figuring out the sour cream and having the patience to monitor their food/medicine intake. You've done everything for her out of your love and dedication to her. Take very good care, Susan M Otis and Chester {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Marina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} My heart is breaking for you! Nikki lived a long and happy life, a much loved and special cat. In tears, Gennie and =^..^= Marietta > Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was > unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for > putting her throuhg this suffering. Oh MARINA!!! I am so so sorry to hear this. I know exactly how you feel because I still feel bad not being with Grant. Not giving him a real goodbye, but it IS for us. We can only do our best on the advice we are given. All I can do is send hugs and pray for your heart to heal and for you to NOT blame yourself. ((((((hugs))))))) and tears >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an >eternal summer island. Marina, I'm so sorry :( Signature~Karen aka Kajikit Crafts, cats, and chocolate - the three essentials of life http://www.kajikitscorner.com Marina, please don't blame yourself! You did nothing wrong. You only did what any wonderful loving momma would do, and tried to take care of beloved Nikki. She's at the Rainbow Bridge now, playing and waiting for her mommy. She knew she was well-loved. Jane >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an >eternal summer island. >Should I have gone to the vet school to say goodbye? But Nikki was >unsconscious and wouldn't have benefitted in any way. Going there to say [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. Marina, You did nothing wrong, the medicine was prescribed by the vetrenarian, not you. You had no way of knowing what the meds would do and Nikki sure didn't (she just knew she didn't like meds period nor do our girls). All you did is what any good mewomie would do, mkae sure that your fur children were cared for even if it meant inflicting nasty medicines on her. You are a good meowmie to all of your fur kids. john.karen and the girls > I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope > Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an > eternal summer island. Dear Marina I'm so sorry to hear that Nikki is gone. I felt like I knew her, like so many others here. You did everything you could for her. You loved her so well, and she knows it. I wish there was something I could say that would ease your pain. We understand and care. >I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if there is one, I hope >Nikki is now young and healthy and breathing freely, hunting voles on an [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] >the new meds, she'd still be here with me. I'll never forgive myself for >putting her throuhg this suffering. I'm so very, very sorry to hear that Nikki has gone to the Rainbow Bridge. It seems as if I've been reading Frank and Nikki stories for as long as I can remember, but in fact I only found this group 4 or 5 years ago. Still, I remember so well reading of Frank and Nikki's many adventures, especially on the island. And I love the pictures you posted of Frank and Nikki; I have a very special place in my heart for tuxedo kitties, as I have a RB tuxedo kitty, Lucky, who went to the Bridge after 16 wonderful years with me. Many, many purrs coming your way for your broken heart to heal soon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it; but while I drink I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains. -Thoreau "Life without cats would be only marginally worth living." -TC, and the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico kitty, Kenzie. Oh Marina.. *hugs* I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry to hear this. Don't blame yourself - you were doing your best to care for her, and you gave her a long happy life. Cheryl Marina, I am so sorry to hear about Nikki! I visited her last photos, and they were beautiful. I firmly believe in an afterlife, and I know she will be there waiting for you. Peace, Patti "May you see with eyes of light in everdark, may your mind walk free and unfettered amongst all, touching wisely and well, may you go in peace." Gayle Greeno - "Mindspeaker's Call" I received the bill for Nikki's treatment, and the vet had included a summary of what she'd done for Nikki. It did state that her fit might have been due to the new medication, but that it might also have been caused by a brain tumour, and that it may have been a coincidence that she had the fit now, a few days after we started the new medicine. Of course, an autopsy could have given more info, but it wouldn't have brought Nikki back anyway, and I was crying so hard when the vet called that I could hardly talk, much less think ahead about autopsies and such. SignatureMarina, Frank and Mere. In loving memory of Nikki. marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki {{{{{{{{{{{{{{Marina}}}}}}}}}}}} > I received the bill for Nikki's treatment, and the vet had included a > summary of what she'd done for Nikki. It did state that her fit might [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > brought Nikki back anyway, and I was crying so hard when the vet called > that I could hardly talk, much less think ahead about autopsies and such. > I received the bill for Nikki's treatment, and the vet had included a > summary of what she'd done for Nikki. It did state that her fit might [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > called that I could hardly talk, much less think ahead about > autopsies and such. It will take a while. Hugs and purrs. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. > I received the bill for Nikki's treatment, Marina, I hope that what I am about to say does not come across as being an insensitive thing to say. The last thing I want to do is cause you more pain. The reason why I am sharing the news that Thalia also had hyperthyrodism and asthma, was given a new med for her asthma and a few days after starting it had a fit, is because from this experience I acquired some info that I think is of value. After Thalia had her fit, her vet immediately stopped her new med and decided that from then on he ought to regularly check her blood pressure. If I correctly remember what he said when he told me that that was what he wanted to do, hyperthroidism increases blood pressure. When my vet discovered while checking Thalia when she was coming round from her fit that her blood pressure was dangerously high, he immediately put her onto Istin. He then decided that it was important to check Thalia's bp every three months, This he did. He adjusted her Istin dose when necessary and also did not again prescribe for her the med that he had given her for her asthma but rather kept treating it with oral Prednisolone. Thalia hated taking her meds and therefore for a short time my vet and I decided to try treating her asthma with an inhaled med. That proved to be an impossible task :^) As soon as I tried to get the inhaler over Thalia's nose and mouth, she freaked out. Happily, the course of action my vet decided to take after Thalia had her fit, resulted in her never again having a fit. If what I have shared proves to be of value to Frank or to someone else's cat, than I will have good reason for thinking that it was right for me to say what I have.. Love Sheenah We are thinking of you, sending lots of purrs. Nikki will live in rpca memory forever, being a special cat in so many ways, her courage and hunting skills are unsurpassed. Lots of hugs, SignaturePolonca & Soncek > I received the bill for Nikki's treatment, and the vet had included a > summary of what she'd done for Nikki. It did state that her fit might [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > brought Nikki back anyway, and I was crying so hard when the vet called > that I could hardly talk, much less think ahead about autopsies and such. |
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