Hey, I don't work anymore, but I sure remember times I'd have liked to
be able to say a few of these (especially #30):

30 THINGS A STRESSED WOMAN MAY SAY AT WORK
1. Okay, okay! I take it back.  Unf**k you.
2. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad  thing.
3. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
4. Well,  aren't we a damn ray of sunshine?
5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily  ever after.
6. Do I look like a people person?
7. This isn't an  office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.
8. I started out with  nothing and I still have most of it left.
9. Therapy is expensive.  Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
10. Why don't you try  practicing random acts of intelligence and
senseless acts of  self-control?
11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30  years.
12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
13. Do they  ever shut up on your planet?
14. I'm not your type. I'm not  inflatable.
15. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you  haven't
gone to sleep yet!
16. Back off!! You're  standing in my aura.
17. Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
19. Not all men are annoying.  Some are dead.
20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
21. Chaos, panic and disorder .. my work here is  done.
22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
23. You look like sh.t. Is  that the style now?
24. Earth is full. Go home.
25. Aw, did I step  on your poor little itty bitty ego? 26. I'm not
tense, just terribly,  terribly alert.
27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal  growth.
28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.
29. If  a.sholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
30. Look in my eyes  .... Do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh.t?