This makes me so sad.  And angry.  DH has been hospitalized several
times, and he always received adequate pain control.  I'm sure this is
not the case throughout the US, but it is the case at our local
hospital.  I don't enjoy being around him on fentenol (sp?) -- he's not
himself at all -- but at least I know that he isn't in as much pain.

I don't know the practice in UK hospitals, but in US hospitals, a
patient can designate a friend or relative as their medical surrogate.  
Even without a formal delegation of authority, a knowledgeable friend
can be an advocate for a patient.

Perhaps UK nurses have the power you suggest, but you need an advocate
to go over their heads if necessary. I have done this many times.

Christina, I really wish we could take turns and be there to hold your hand
and let you know its going to be OK.  Maybe it is and maybe it isn't, but
for now you get to chose what to believe to some degree,  (I'm a HUGE fan of
denial in such circumstances)  You have done all you can to prepare.  The
cats and the birds will be OK.  Its a blessing that you have had this time
to make sure they will be OK.  And a curse in giving you too much time to
think.

I'm not telling you how you should feel.  Just how I wish you could feel.

Now a story of my Mom putting herself thru the tortures of the damned.  In
her case for nothing.

Mom had cataracts.  And didn't really know anyone who had had cataract
surgery to talk to about it.  Not anyone she would believe anyway.  The
surgery was scheduled about six weeks in advance, and she started out afraid
and upset.  The closer it got, the more afraid and upset she got.  Now
nobody does nervous and anxious like my Mom.  Her first step is to tune
everyone out that tries to reassure her.  After all if they are trying to
reassure her, that must mean something really awful is about to happen.

I do not know how Daddy managed to even get her into the surgery center when
the day came.  I suspect there were strong drugs involved.

She called me the next day, happy as a lark and feeling extremely foolish.
Somehow she had got the idea into her head that she was going to be awake
during the surgery (true) and was going to feel much of what was happening
and was going to be expected to keep still and keep her eye open on her own.
When she found out that it was so easy, that you are numbed and secured, and
that once it was over you could see colors you had not seem for years, she
felt silly for all her worry.

Now I'd rather have another cataract removed than sit thru having my teeth
cleaned.  But that doesn't help anyone else who is going through their own
anxiety.

Quite possible they only told you about the epidural in addition to the
anesthesia to reassure you that there will be adequate pain control during
the proceedure.  It is common in many surgeries to use a local in addition
to anesthetic so they don't have to put you into such deep general
anesthetic.   It is safer and a better guarantee of pain control.   At least
that's what I'd be trying to tell myself in your place.

Jo

I don't mean to argue with you, Tweed. I'm not trying to say it will be
*painless*, but rather, if you think its going to be agonising, its more
likely to be agonising than if you thought it wasn't going to be too bad.
Does that make sense?

I don't mean to trivialise this. I really really don't. I have utterly no
idea wha tthis must be like for you, but I'm not trying to make light of it.
The epidural I had for birth and the epidural you will have for this surgery
will most likely be placed in the very same place. Mine was for pain, yes,
but the side effects - the relaxing of muscles, the lowering of the blood
pressure, the fact it lets the rest of your body be OK, so the general
anesathesia may not have to be so deep etc etc etc will be similar because
the *treatment* (not the cause) is similar.

Can you talk to anyone else who has had this surgery? Pam, Jo, what was it
like?

All my experience is, is a friend who had a cancerous ovary removed. Said it
hurt, yes, but childbirth was a bazillion times worse and the recovery was
alot quicker. Dunno if that helps you any at all, but I genuinely hope it
does.

That, I can't help you with. Someone mentioned an advocate - do youhave
someone who will be abale and willing to be *assertive* with the nurses?

I'm really sorry if I upset you with my previous post. I didn't mean to. I'd
like you to go in to this surgery with the most positive of mind-sets,
thinking that this will do you good, its what you need, and whilst it won't
be *pleasant* it also won't be horrible and it will be your first step to a
quick and total recovery.

And I'm still happy to take any calls if you need to talk to someone in the
dead of night, if you'd be happy to talk to me.

Yowie xxx

Given how vulnerable a hospitalized patient feels, anything that can
give them a sense of having more control usually helps their well-being.
Good nurses, unless there are technical reasons not to do so, will ask a
patient, for example, in which arm they want an injection.  It's a small
thing, but it is one of the many things that helps comfort.

We learn more and more about improving the patient experience, although
in the US, some are not done, or done with great caution, over liability
concerns. There was a study under the auspices of the American College
of Surgeons, which showed that patients that routinely drank 3.5 or more
cups of coffee a day, unless there is an overriding reason not to do so,
should NOT be switched to decaffeinated coffee.  It was demonstrated
that switching them to decaf, and causing a mild caffeine withdrawal
syndrome, could lengthen hospital stays by a day or two.

When I had my first cardiac event, I spent a couple of days in the ICU
of a now-closed hospital, one that was two blocks from my house.  There
are much better ones 1-2 miles away.

On the first morning, I was served a tray marked "Cardiac diet."  It
consisted of two fried eggs, several strips of greasy bacon, fried
potatoes, orange juice, pre-buttered bread, and coffee with heavy cream
on the side. I inquired whether "cardiac diet" meant that the diet was
intended to produce heart attacks.

I was informed that it was the same as the regular diet, except that the
coffee was decaf.