I was thinking that too. Don't be afraid to tell them how afraid you are of
the pain and your experience. I think sometimes fear is what makes pain
worse. I'm certain they will try harder if they know.

Please, Christina: every single day, sit quietly and envision the
surgery happening, it being successful, and you being cancer free,
living on for decades, doing the things you love to do. Visualize
it as though it has already happened. And when you sit quietly,
at other times, with each breath imagine all the dark badness
leaving as you exhale and light and health entering you when
you inhale. It doesn't take long to do this once a day. I know it
sounds silly, but please try it.

Tweed, there is a horse running here tomorrow in the Kentucky Derby whose
breeder was told 3 years ago he had 7 months to live with colon cancer. He
is at the Derby as I type, watching the race tomorrow. The doctor told him
this horse is better chemo right now. There is a little girl that was
diagnosed with neuroblastoma on her first birthday. Her name was Alex and
now a horse named Afleet Alex is running tomorrow for her and for his
breeder. She lived years past what the doctors told her parents that night
of her first birthday, only succumbing to her cancer this last fall at 8
years of age. Doctors are not Gods. They are people who give educated
guesses. I'm going to post the article here so you can read about these
people. I hope it is some hope for you. We love you. Your cats love you.
Your family loves you. As it says on Afleet Alex's t-shirt Courage.
Strength. Heart.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7750669/

Smarty Jones, Seabiscuit rolled into one
Similarities are uncanny for anti-cancer symbol Afleet Alex
By Mike Brunker
Horse racing editor
MSNBC
Updated: 9:15 p.m. ET May 6, 2005

LOUISVILLE, Ky. - Joe Lerro, wearing a Philadelphia Eagles jersey and a
smile as broad as his shoulders, gestures at the scene outside Tim Ritchey¹s
barn at Churchill Downs ‹ the reporters and TV crews, the woman selling
T-shirts draped over a sawhorse and the visitors merrily taking photos of
the star getting his morning bath ‹ and asks a question that demands no
answer: ³How can we not believe in karma?²

If smiles and hugs were the coin by which the Kentucky Derby was awarded,
Afleet Alex would win the race in walkover. The atmosphere outside the
colt¹s stall in Barn 41 borders on festive, with trainer, owners and T-shirt
selling volunteers emitting enough good vibrations for a Beach Boys concert.

Though Afleet Alex has contributed to their sunny dispositions by training
well coming up to Saturday¹s race, that is not the only reason they are so
upbeat. They also have been buoyed by the fact that his success has enabled
them to hook their good fortune to a good cause that has made Afleet Alex
something of a poster horse for the fight against cancer.

It seems no Kentucky Derby is complete these days without at least one horse
tale guaranteed to melt the heart of the most-hardened gambler, and Afleet
Alex is this year¹s runaway winner.

Like Funny Cide and Smarty Jones before him, the colt has everyman owners ‹
five friends and acquaintances from Philadelphia, three of whom are now on
the brink of running in the Kentucky Derby with the first horse they have
ever owned. The slogan embraced by Lerro, Chuck Zacney, Jennifer Reeves, Bob
Brittingham and Joe Judge ‹ ³just a bunch of knuckleheads trying to have
some fun² ­ tells you all you need to know about their approach to the game.

³We¹ll sit and drink some beer (on race day); George can drink champagne,²
said Lerro, referring to New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who
owns favored Bellamy Road.

He added that he and Afleet Alex¹s other owners plan to abandon the luxury
of the owner¹s enclosure early in the day to experience the raucous infield
party and hand out Afleet Alex T-shirts and buttons.

Like his predecessors, Afleet Alex also has arrived at the Derby after a
roundabout journey from humble beginnings. He was purchased for the bargain
price of $70,000 and began his career at Delaware Park, a mid-level
racetrack just a few hours up the road from Smarty Jones¹ old stomping
grounds of Philadelphia Park.

In addition to sharing Smarty Jones¹ Philadelphia connection, Afleet Alex¹s
has a trainer and jockey are cut from the same cloth as those of last year¹s
Kentucky and Preakness Stakes winner:

Tim Ritchey, who looks a little like a young Mel Brooks, is an accomplished
but little-known trainer who has toiled in relative anonymity in the Midwest
and mid-Atlantic. And, though aptly named for the Kentucky Derby, Jeremy
Rose is a young journeyman jockey with no Triple Crown races on his resume.

The parallels continue: Like Smarty Jones, Afleet Alex survived an early
life-threatening situation that helped cast him as an underdog who had to
fight his way to the top.

³His mother had some problems at birth and unfortunately she didn¹t have any
milk, so he was bottle fed by two little girls at the farm where he was for
24 hours a day for the first 12 days of his life,² Ritchey recalled
Thursday,. ³He learned at an early age that he had to be very trusting of
people and that¹s something that has carried over. To this day, he just has
complete faith and trust in humans.²

But, as if a screenwriter somewhere keeps fine-tuning a script, Afleet
Alex¹s story has a new dimension as well. Like a modern-day Seabiscuit, he
is a horse with a gift for bringing people together and helping them find
hope in tragedy.

His breeder, John Silvertand, was diagnosed with colon cancer nearly three
years ago, shortly after Afleet Alex was born, and given just three months
to live. But the 60-year-old former Royal Air Force pilot is instead driving
with his family from Lake Worth, Fla., to Louisville this week to attend the
Derby as a guest of the owners, collectively known as Cash Is King Stable.

³The horse keeps me going,² Silvertand told the Associated Press this week
by telephone before his departure. ³I truly believe he¹s helping me in my
battle.²

Afleet Alex is helping to fight cancer in another way, thanks to the
generosity of his owners and a young girl¹s courageous battle against the
disease.

Alexandra ³Alex² Scott was diagnosed with an aggressive form of childhood
cancer called neuroblastoma shortly before her first birthday.

She ultimately lost her fight against the disease, but not before planting a
seed that gives new meaning to the saying, ³When life hands you lemons, make
lemonade.²

At the tender age of 4, Alex decided to raise money to give to the hospital
where she was undergoing cancer treatment. With her parents, Jay and Liz,
she came up with a tried-and-true approach: A lemonade stand in the front
yard.

The stand was a success, not just for the 50 cent sales that soon turned
into more than $2,000 but for the word that soon spread about her
inspirational fight. After local media reports on her fundraising drive,
similar stands popped up around the country.

Alex died last year on Aug. 1 at the age of 8, but not before seeing the
fund that she started with her little lemonade stand grow into the Alex¹s
Lemonade Stand Foundation. (http://www.alexslemonade.com/) To date, the
foundation established by her parents has raised more than $1.6 million.

Alex didn¹t live long enough to meet Afleet Alex (so named because three of
the owners have children named Alex), but after reading about her story the
colt¹s owners phoned the Scotts and said they would like to donate a portion
of the horse¹s winnings to her cause. So far, that has amounted to about
$5,000 for each of Alex¹s six victories.

The colt¹s owners also have worked with the foundation sell special
T-shirts, hats and buttons bearing Afleet Alex¹s likeness and bearing the
words, ³Courage. Strength. Heart,² including setting up the impromptu
sawhorse shop outside the colt¹s barn.

The goodwill generated by owners¹ involvement in Alex¹s cause has grown over
the months as Afleet Alex has established himself as one of the nation¹s top
3-year-old horses. By this week, the feeling had grown so intense that the
44-year-old Lerro could only shake his head in wonder at the strange
confluence of good fortune and a good cause.

In addition to thinking about the implications of kharma, the 44-year-old
real estate developer and restaurateur, said he and his friends had gained a
fuller appreciation for what they are experiencing from their interaction
with Silvertand, the Scotts and other cancer patients and survivors who have
rallied around them and their horse.

³It could be over in a minute and we have to cherish every moment,² he said.

Still sending purrs.  I think it is time for one of my favorite
quotations:

"One truth we gain from living through the years:
Fear brings more pain than does the pain it fears>"

Best wishes.   MLB

Absolute agreement. Courage, indeed, is not the absence of fear, but the
overcoming of fear.

Something that works for me, but might not for many others, is to
involve myself thoroughly in my care, becoming expert on what is
involved. I've grumbled about some surgeries where either I was under a
general anesthetic, or for some reason couldn't watch.  With a surgeon
who knew me well, we recognized the value of my being able to watch
(with infection protection) nerve surgery on my wrist and arm.  I've
refused sedation for all my invasive cardiac procedures that didn't
require general anesthesia, and watched every detail. In the research
programs where I'm a volunteer, there's enough evidence in the chart
that I simply don't get excited while watching someone mucking around in
my heart -- although I have been known to do the Monty Python Norwegian
Blue Parrot skit as a duo with the cardiogist.

Obviously, Christina couldn't be awake for the kind of surgery involved
here. That being said, one immensely helpful thing, for which really
good nurses are key, is to let the patient have as much control as
possible.  When a nurse asks a patient in which arm the patient wants an
injection, he or she is empowering the patient and making them feel less
dependent. Even if you are on a liquid diet, giving you some meal
choices is also empowering. Clinicians may ask you to keep notes --
that's both valuable and also makes you feel less helpless.

{{{{Christina}}}}

And thank you, Mary, for bringing up some of these points.

Tweed,
(Giggle) I love that response.  But, of course, you are somebody important.
How long do you suppose it would take a card to make the journey from Texas,
U.S.A. to England?
I'd hate to have it arrive at the hospital before you do or after you leave.
Maybe I'll send you a picture postcard so that you can see what it's like
here.
I know you are afraid, but we are continuing to send purrs and prayers that
you will have a successful surgery and a full and rapid recovery.
Hugs,
Annie (aided by Cinder and Rosie)

Yes, she or anyone you may see is perfectly welcome to email me, and I
will pass the updates on to the group.

That's an excellent idea - good for you to see them too, and know they
are OK. If they see you, they are much less likely to go into hidiing
because you're not around.

Tee hee :-)

You mentioned before that you didn't have the hospital's postcode. I
found it with a Royal Mail search, and if you don't object I will post
it here, as it will make sure that cards aren't delayed or lost for not
having it on:

Ward 31
Leicester General Hospital
Gwendolen Road
LEICESTER
LE5 4PW
United Kingdom

Deb.