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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / May 2005Feeling guilty
Hello fellow ailurophiles... Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right decision. The other night, while removing the birdfeeders in preparation for a storm, I caught sight of a rather frail-looking black kitty, He approached me slowly at first. When I gently spoke to him and placed a bowl of food on the ground for him, he came over. He began rubbing on my leg, and I began to pet him. He was bone-thin, dirty, and smelled pretty foul. I noticed that he wanted badly to eat, but something prevented him. He allowed me to pick him up and I carried him to my bedroom. I noticed that he was drooling profusely, and more mucus oozed from his nose. I sat several different kinds of kitty food down, along with fresh water and another bowl with milk. Try as he might, he just couldn't really eat anything. He'd get a little morsel in his mouth, then cough it back out. He was able to get some milk down, though. I made him a little bed to snooze on, and made a mental note to make a vet appt. in the morning. At the vet's the next morning, he was such a little gentleman...didn't cry, hiss, bite, scratch. Doc took his temp, recorded his weight (8 pounds), and estimated his age at one year. The doctook a blood sample and came back with horrid news 10 minutes later: Positive for FELV, FIV, and herpes. The doc gave him no chance of survival, and foresaw a sad death for the kitty who couldn't eat. With a heavy heart, I authorized euthanasia. I kissed little Smelly Cat on his head, and walked out of the exam room. I couldn't stay for the procedure, I just didn't have the courage. I know now that lil' Smelly crossed over the Rainbow Bridge soon after I left his side. I know I did the right thing...didn't I? I guess I'm more upset with myself for not having the backbone to hold him while he slipped away. Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of loss, and that ache in my heart. Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'. PB I would have felt the same way. Poor little guy :( Bless your heart for trying to help. You saved Lil Smelly from a miserable lonely death, possibly w/great suffering....and I just feel that even though you had to leave him, the vet employee, whomever it was, soothed him w/loving pets as his kitty soul rose above his doomed little body and headed for the RB. You did the right thing by him. >I would have felt the same way. Poor little guy :( > > Bless your heart for trying to help. > You saved Lil Smelly from a miserable lonely death, possibly w/great > suffering....and I just feel that even though you had to leave him, the vet > employee, whomever it was, soothed him w/loving pets as his > kitty soul rose above his doomed little body and headed for the RB. You did > the right thing by him. What Hopitus said. It was the only thing you could do for him, and the vet and nurses would have been kind towards him after you left. Deb.  Signaturehttp://www.scientific-art.com "He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would; He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > > Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right > decision. <snip> You totally did the right thing. Maybe "God", if there is one, sent Smelly to you, to send his suffering. Life is rough for a cat on the street. Obviously he was loved at some point in his life - and you showed him that humans can, indeed, be kind, once again. -L. > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB You did the RIGHT thing! Far too many would have left him there, going "Tsk tsk, isn't it a pity". He had no hope of recovery/rehabilitation and would have been in more and more discomfort and pain pretty quickly. This was indeed a merciful death; thank you for taking the trouble to make his way to the Rainbow Bridge smoother. SignatureMoses.DukeOfUrl@gmail.com Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler, Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'.//// I went through something very similar in November with a little lad called Tim. Then it was pointed out to me by a bhuddist friend of mine that maybe my job wasn't to nurse Tim back to help, but my job was to help Tim go to Rainbow Bridge with dignity, knowing at least *someone* cared enough to mourn his loss. Although it hurts, you did the right thing. {{{HUGS}}} Helen M >Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right >decision. --------------------<snip>--------------------- You did right by the little man. You saved him from a cold and lonely death. It's tough to get your hopes up and then have the shock of bad news, but you did a kind deed. Poor little kitty! May he find a peaceful path to walk. Regards and Purrs, O J You definitely did the right thing. And thanks to you, the poor little kitty had 15 hours of compassion at the end of his life, and a peaceful passing. Without your intervention, he would have had NO compassion at the end and his passing wouldn't have been gentle and pain-free. I agree with prior posts in this thread, that observed that maybe you were MEANT to be there for him at the end. Not to effect a cure, which is beyond our ability at this time, but to ensure that he knew kindness and peace as he departed for the RB... where, I am sure, he'll be waiting for you when the time comes. Donna, Captain, and Stanley Yes, you absolutely did the right thing! Joy ((((((((((PB)))))))))) > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB > I know now that lil' Smelly crossed over the Rainbow Bridge soon after > I left his side. I know I did the right thing...didn't I? I think you did what your heart told you was the right thing to do, and that is all that matters. I believe he understood as well, and he will be waiting for you at the RB. SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com > Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of > loss, and that ache in my heart. > > Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'. > > PB You definitely did the right thing. Don't beat yourself up about not being able to be there for the final procedure. That is something that is so very hard to stand. Little kitty's last hours were spent with someone who cared, someone who tried, and someone who offered the very best possible things. Kitty began his journey to the Rainbow Bridge knowing that someone in this world cared, and that's the best gift you could give him. Dan >Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > >PB Hey Batty. Poor little mite, what lousy luck. And such a friendly little fellow. It all sucks big time. You gave him some final moments of kindness, and prevented a much more squalid end. We're purring and praying for the little guy, and for you, too. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB You should be feeling like a Saint. As Duke mentioned, a lot of other people would have just tsk tsk'd and the poor thing wouldn't have known an ounce of kindness in his last hours. Jill > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > > Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right > decision. <snip> you certainly did, purrs for you and for li'l smelly kitten's crossing Thanks for helping him out Signaturelewe lewemi at yahoo dot se | cats' pics: photos.yahoo.com/lewemi > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB You saved him from a horrible death - you have nothing to feel bad about. The person who abandoned him, however, should burn in h*ll for it! Hugs, CatNipped >Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > >PB I am so sorry. I know how sad you must feel. You did the right thing. Sometimes it's hard; hardest perhaps with our own babies, but hard nonetheless with a little one that we hoped we could give a chance at life to. A friend of mine once managed to get a kitty off the street who did not look good. He, too, could not eat. She took it to the vet's office where she worked, and the diagnosis was advanced cancer. She made the same decision you did, and hurt as you do. If they cannot eat, that is pretty much the end. The most caring thing you can do is to let them gently slip away in to a place with no pain and misery. It is no crime to not be with them when they go. If you can, I think that is good. But if you can't, I still believe they understand that you cared, and cared enough to allow them some peace, as you did. My heart goes out to you. Blessings, Ginger-lyn Home Pages: http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/ http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.i-love-cats.com/meow/glsummer/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website) > Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of > loss, and that ache in my heart. You relieved the poor guy of more hours of hurt, blessings. On Christmas Eve 2 yeas ago I found a similarly ill cat and the next day at the vet we had to do the same thing. He got full honors burial in the backyard. It's tough, caring. Norm -- "The web has got me caught. I'd rather have the blues than what I've got." <via Nat King Cole> > Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'. I'm so sorry. Many soothing purrs coming over for you. You did the right thing. SignatureMarina, Frank, Nikki, and Mere marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki While I think it reassures a cat to have someone they know hold them, this cat didn't know you. So I doubt your presence would have been reassuring. More likely your anxiety about what you were doing would have upset him. I hope you realize you did the only kind and decent thing that could be done. That you saved him from a miserable death, likely alone and out in bad weather. In no way do you have a reason to be guilty. Jo > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB I think so far it's unanimous that you did the right thing by that poor, sick little cat, PB. It's pretty obvious he was terribly sick when you found him, and the vet certainly didn't think he could survive, so you may have spared him weeks or months of dying miserably by inches. I'm pretty sure that poor little fellow knew he was sick and weak, so maybe he was seeking human help in that knowledge. The cat goddess led him to someone who gave him kindness and understanding, and a gentle passing over the RB.His last hours were spent in a warm dry place, and he could see you were trying to help him. Melissa I completely understand what you are saying, none of us want to take the decision to end an animal's life and there is always a guilty feeling afterwards. You did the best for this cat, who could have only had a slow painful death if you hadn't found him. Kudos to you for being brave enough to do it. Tweed > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB > Even though I only knew him for 15 hours, I still feel that sense of > loss, and that ache in my heart. > > Thanks, I just needed to talk to someone who would 'understand'. > > PB For fifteen precious hours "lil' Smelly" was loved. Those were, quite probably, the best hours of his short life. You did the right thing. He is no longer hungry and sick but healthy and happy at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting til he is reunited with the human who showed him what love is and gave him a name. SignatureElise (supervised by Gossamer & Jeeves) pics: http://photos.yahoo.com/dragonandthistle@snet.net Thanks to everyone...it's so nice to know there are so many loving, caring, animal- and cat-friendly people out there after all. I've decided that extending a loving/helping hand to animals in distress is the answer (for me, at least) to that ages-old question, "Why are we here?" I was told the other night, "Hon, you can't save every animal in the world!" I'm well aware of that. I CAN, however, TRY to save every animal that I cross paths with. Or at least, give them love and comfort in their final moments. Again, thank you all. PB, servant of the Inside 7 (PJ, Scoots, Runt, Biggles, Gremlin, Girlie-Poo, & Mr. Hooha) >Thanks to everyone...it's so nice to know there are so many loving, >caring, animal- and cat-friendly people out there after all. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >Again, thank you all. That's the answer to the old question, "What then must we do?" We must do our best. Bless you, Batty, for relieving the little critter's suffering. >PB, servant of the Inside 7 (PJ, Scoots, Runt, Biggles, Gremlin, >Girlie-Poo, & Mr. Hooha) Rockin' names, BTW. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > That's the answer to the old question, "What then must we do?" We > must do our best. Bless you, Batty, for relieving the little > critter's suffering. Could you elaborate, please? A web search suggests that "What then must we do?" is both the title of a Tolstoy novel and a Biblical quote (Luke). Was there a direct answer in the bible? Just kinda curious. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca >> That's the answer to the old question, "What then must we do?" We >> must do our best. Bless you, Batty, for relieving the little [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > >Just kinda curious. In the Bible, I believe, Jesus said the answer was "Sell all you have, give to the poor, and follow me." Tolstoy wrote that we must extend compassion to whomever crosses our path. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > > Feeling like a turd this morning, although I think I made the right > decision. You saved him from a *lot* of suffering. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. Hugs and purrs, SignaturePolonca & Soncek > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB ((((PB)))) Really don't know what else you could have done - though I know you can't help second guessing yourself. Like others have already said, you saved him from a miserable, lonely passing, and helped him make the journey to the RB SignatureSteve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy and Little Bit stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email] Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html Many purrs for your poor heart and for stopping and caring for this little guy -- I think you spared him much suffering and he knew someone cared for him. Christine (teary) > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB Oh god why did I have to see this right now, I know its really too late to answer, but I have to say that was very kind to help that poor baby, you shall be rewarded by a higher power, who see's everything and misses nothing Big Hugs to you Jean.P. > Hello fellow ailurophiles... > [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > PB I can't look at this story without crying....Poor little stinky black kitty.....At least someone loved him for a little while perhaps the last day of his life was the best God bless you for doing what you had to Lesley Slave of thew Fabulous Furballs |
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