1: from Bandit, White & black rescue DSH now aged 8 of loving
disposition:

"I see that there aren't too many British crew members, which seems a
shame as we're such a great seafaring nation. I get along with all my
neighbourhood cats and am renowned for my friendly and helpful nature. I
think I'd be ideal in the role of Ship's Counsellor (or Ship's Padre in
a religious context) if you could find room for me: I'm fairly svelte
and don't take up much space except at mealtimes when my head is to be
found dead centre of the foodbowl".

2: from Snowball, blue-bicolour Ragdoll aged 2 & recently promoted from
Hoolikitten:

With the new d-pet taking up a disgusting amount of my hoomin slave's
time & attention I'm being shamefully neglected and would love to take
part in an exciting voyage of plunder and mayhem (I'm very good at
those). With my fluffy bunny feet (eat your heart out Charlie Sheen) and
voluminous fur I can infiltrate anywhere without being detected and
reckon I'd make a first-class Marine (British ships have had those
aboard for centuries for discipline and "Away" missions). As I write
our gholas are being grown in the axolotl tanks so we aren't missed.
Hope you can find cabin space for us both".

Bandit & Snowball
(dictated via stoopin hoomin in an induced trance)