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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / March 2005

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Purrs needed for a friend

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KellyH - 17 Mar 2005 22:19 GMT
I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
of some purrs.

My friend "J" works tirelessly TNR'ing ferals, persuading people to
spay/neuter their pets, and rescuing cats.  She even goes to people's houses
and transports their cats to and from the vet, sometimes pays the s/n fee
herself if they can't pay.
This past week has been really hard on her, and she is so burned out.  She
has been working with a family that had 4 cats, 3 females, one male, and a
German Shepherd. She somehow persuaded them to give up the male and one
female cat and she got them into the shelter where we both volunteer.  The
other female was spayed, and the last just had kittens and she was trying to
convince them to surrender the kittens and spay the momma when they are old
enough.  The couple was planning on breeding the dog and selling the
puppies.  Oh, they also wanted to sell the kittens and thought they could
get a lot of money for them since they are white.  All the females have had
at least 3 litters in their short lives :(
Anyway, after working on them for some time, they finally agreed to neuter
the dog.  The dog ended up dying after the neuter from a complication.  The
woman called her up and was very verbally abusive.  J feels awful, like this
was all her fault.  Adding to this, her foster cat that no one would take
was diagnosed with intestinal cancer and is hanging on by a thread.  She had
to take her to the emergency in the middle of the night.
J deals with some scum of the earth people in her spay/neuter ventures.  I
don't know how she does it.  The animals need her, and I would hate for her
to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
takes it.

Signature

-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

Karen - 17 Mar 2005 22:38 GMT
Mega purrs for J. That is awful. I don't know how she does it either :((((

> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
> do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
> takes it.
Monique Y. Mudama - 17 Mar 2005 23:05 GMT
> Anyway, after working on them for some time, they finally agreed to neuter
> the dog.  The dog ended up dying after the neuter from a complication.  The
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
> to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
> takes it.

Poor J.  We're sending purrs.

I strongly believe that in order to help others, you have to first take care
of yourself.  Otherwise the house of cards will fall.  If J needs time off,
she should take it.

Signature

monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

polonca12000 - 17 Mar 2005 23:18 GMT
Poor J! Please let her know we are thinking of her, sending her best wishes
and purrs - she is a great lady. Thank her so much for taking care of the
poor animals. And it was absolutely *not* her fault!
Signature

Polonca & Soncek

> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
> do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
> takes it.
Christina Websell - 18 Mar 2005 00:15 GMT
>I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
>do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> her to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope
> she takes it.

Your friend does a good job in persuading people who might not otherwise do
it, to spay and neuter their cats.
OTOH, I cannot help but have some sympathy for the family whose dog is now
dead because she encouraged them to have her spayed and she died.  Even
people described as "scum of the earth"  whatever that means can love their
animals, so perhaps a bit of verbal abuse over the death is understandable.
After all, the dog would still be alive if she hadn't been spayed.

Both my cats are spayed/neutered.  They are "moggies"  mongrels if you would
like to call it that.  It isn't necessary for them to reproduce as there are
plenty of moggies in all the shelters waiting for homes.

*However*  my dogs were pedigree, of a high show standard and I occasionally
bred from them.  Not for money, but to spread their genes.
If someone like your friend had come along and asked to me to spay and
neuter all my dogs, I would have been quite, well, peeved, shall we say.  I
will be the one to decide if and when it's necessary.  If I had taken notice
of her, had a bitch spayed when I wouldn't have done and she died because of
it, to be quite honest I might have reacted in the same way.

She should carry on her crusade, but realise that as a result of her advice,
if their animal dies people are going to be angry and rightly so.  She will
have to learn to deal with it, because for sure it will happen again.

Tweed
KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 00:41 GMT
> Your friend does a good job in persuading people who might not otherwise
> do it, to spay and neuter their cats.
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> understandable. After all, the dog would still be alive if she hadn't been
> spayed.

That's exactly what she feels bad about, that the dog died because she
intervened.  However, this dog was probably not pedigree, if they did breed
him, they would be backyard breeders and I'm sure would not
spay/neuter/vaccinate the puppies before selling them.  They are living in a
motel room with a couple children, the dog, and four cats when she met them.
They are still the motel room, waiting for a bogus disability claim to come
in.  The woman flat-out told her it's fake.  I wasn't putting down the
people in any way for being upset that their dog died, I was just voicing
concern for my friend.

Update on that situation:  J called them with the autopsy report, and the
woman initially sounded upset, but then was like "oh well", and said her
husband never liked the dog anyway :(  She's still going to surrender the
kittens.

Some of the "scum of the earth" people she deals with are situations like:
Yelling at her for showing up "so early" (8 am) to pick up and
spay/neuter/vaccinate *their* cat for free, people who tell her things like
"I don't want to spay my cat.  I'm going to sell her kittens on the
Internet.", getting kittens from a house because the boyfriend shot the
mother cat, going to the same farm to TNR and rescue cats for years because
people keep dumping cats there, calling to schedule free spay/neuter
appointments that *she* is paying for and being told "not then, we'll be in
Disney World" but the people can't pay for the s/n?  Just some examples.
Signature

-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

Katz - 18 Mar 2005 00:36 GMT
Wow! That's a tough situation. I feel so sorry for J and for the doggie
& her family. And I'm afraid that will put them off spaying forever. :(

Katz
Margaret Fine - 18 Mar 2005 03:13 GMT
> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
> do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
> to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
> takes it.

Please tell J that there are people that are very appreciative of what
she does and admire her for it.  Purrs that she is feeling better about
everything soon.

Signature

Margaret Fine
mefine@mindspring.com

Helen Wheels - 18 Mar 2005 03:32 GMT
Good thoughts for your friend J! I don't know her, but I think I'd like to.
KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 03:52 GMT
Thanks everyone for the purrs.  I did pass along to her that there's a lot
of people sending her positive energy.  J is in better spirits now, but
still feels awful about the dog.  But, at least the people are still willing
to work with her and surrender the kittens and get the momma cat spayed.
Her foster cat is doing better.  She's still at the vet's and being force
fed, but she should be able to go home tomorrow or the next day.

Signature

-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

> Good thoughts for your friend J! I don't know her, but I think I'd like
> to.
Marina - 18 Mar 2005 05:32 GMT
> I
> don't know how she does it.  The animals need her, and I would hate for her
> to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
> takes it.

I hope she takes it, too. Soothing and relaxing purrs on their way to J.
She is doing wonderful work, but in order to carry on, she must take
care of herself.

Signature

Marina, Frank, Nikki, and coming soon: Mere!
marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi
Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/
and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki

Elise - 18 Mar 2005 05:42 GMT
> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
> do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
> of some purrs.

Purrs on the way

Signature

Elise (supervised by Gossamer & Jeeves)
pics: http://photos.yahoo.com/dragonandthistle@snet.net

Steve Touchstone - 18 Mar 2005 11:43 GMT
Purrs on the way for J
Signature

Steve Touchstone,
faithful servant of Sammy and Little Bit

stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email]
Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html
Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html

Lesley Madigan - 18 Mar 2005 14:51 GMT
> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
> do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
> of some purrs.

Purrs for your friend and her cat. People like her are wonderful and
never appreciated enough

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
Victor Martinez - 18 Mar 2005 14:55 GMT
Lots of purrs for "J" and our heartfelt thanks for caring so much for
ferals.

Signature

Victor M. Martinez
Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM)
Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov
Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com

glsummer@neptunelink.com - 18 Mar 2005 19:58 GMT
>I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I
>do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts.  I have a friend in need
[quoted text clipped - 24 lines]
>to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.  I hope she
>takes it.

Purrs for your friend, "J".  I have a friend KK, who is much the same,
and I have had an earful about what goes on and some of the incredible
sadness and burnout.  It wasn't J's fault the dog died; it just
happens sometimes, sadly.  I hope things get better for your friend
soon.

Blessings,

Ginger-lyn

Home Pages:
 http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/
 http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
 http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy)
 http://www.i-love-cats.com/meow/glsummer/ (The Violence Against
                        Animals in Movies Website)
Christina Websell - 18 Mar 2005 20:59 GMT
>>I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although
>>I
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
>
> Ginger-lyn

I totally agree that "J" is doing a good job, promoting neutering and
spaying.
However, along with that must come the knowledge that if you persuade
someone to have their pet speutered, and it dies because of the operation,
some part of the blame lands on you.
Because it would still have been alive if you hadn't insisted and persuaded.
Regardless of the fact that the dog/cat might have been better off
afterwards - if it had lived, of course! - there is a huge responsibility
involved in advising people to have any sort of medical procedures done on
their pets  in case it goes wrong, like it did on this occasion.
Maybe it would be a good idea if "J" not only promotes neutering, but also
advises the owners of the (slim) risk of death from the procedure
beforehand, then she probably wouldn't have had the phone call that she did.
I don't wish to sound harsh, and whether it turned out or not that the
owners loved their dog, she died anyway.
And if she had been mine I'd have gone crazy, quite honestly.
I am sure this will happen again.  "J" needs to take this on board and
accept it as part of the thing she does and take congratulations for the
things that go well and the flak for those that didn't.
Just my 2c worth.  2p over here.

Tweed


KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 22:11 GMT
> I totally agree that "J" is doing a good job, promoting neutering and
> spaying.
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
>
> Tweed

Everyone has to sign a release which explains the risks of surgery, these
people did, and it was explained to them verbally at the clinic.
All I was saying is, my friend has had a bad week, between the dog dying and
her foster cat being diagnosed with cancer and not doing well.  It's a lot
to take at once.  She's not an overly sensitive person, but being called in
the middle of the night and being yelled at would probably get to anyone.
And yes, she does feel responsible about the dog.  She has had a couple
ferals die during s/n surgery over the years, but they had no one to grieve
for them but her.

Signature

-Kelly
kelly at farringtons dot net
"Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG

Adrian - 19 Mar 2005 14:29 GMT
<snip>
>J deals with some scum of the earth people in her spay/neuter ventures.  I
> don't know how she does it.  The animals need her, and I would hate
> for her to quit.  I told her take some time off and clear your head.
> I hope she takes it.

Purrs that J finds the strength to carry on.
Signature

Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
A house is not a home, without a cat.

 
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