Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / March 2005
Purrs needed for a friend
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KellyH - 17 Mar 2005 22:19 GMT I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need of some purrs.
My friend "J" works tirelessly TNR'ing ferals, persuading people to spay/neuter their pets, and rescuing cats. She even goes to people's houses and transports their cats to and from the vet, sometimes pays the s/n fee herself if they can't pay. This past week has been really hard on her, and she is so burned out. She has been working with a family that had 4 cats, 3 females, one male, and a German Shepherd. She somehow persuaded them to give up the male and one female cat and she got them into the shelter where we both volunteer. The other female was spayed, and the last just had kittens and she was trying to convince them to surrender the kittens and spay the momma when they are old enough. The couple was planning on breeding the dog and selling the puppies. Oh, they also wanted to sell the kittens and thought they could get a lot of money for them since they are white. All the females have had at least 3 litters in their short lives :( Anyway, after working on them for some time, they finally agreed to neuter the dog. The dog ended up dying after the neuter from a complication. The woman called her up and was very verbally abusive. J feels awful, like this was all her fault. Adding to this, her foster cat that no one would take was diagnosed with intestinal cancer and is hanging on by a thread. She had to take her to the emergency in the middle of the night. J deals with some scum of the earth people in her spay/neuter ventures. I don't know how she does it. The animals need her, and I would hate for her to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she takes it.
 Signature -Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG
Karen - 17 Mar 2005 22:38 GMT Mega purrs for J. That is awful. I don't know how she does it either :((((
> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I > do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she > takes it. Monique Y. Mudama - 17 Mar 2005 23:05 GMT > Anyway, after working on them for some time, they finally agreed to neuter > the dog. The dog ended up dying after the neuter from a complication. The [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she > takes it. Poor J. We're sending purrs.
I strongly believe that in order to help others, you have to first take care of yourself. Otherwise the house of cards will fall. If J needs time off, she should take it.
 Signature monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully
pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca
polonca12000 - 17 Mar 2005 23:18 GMT Poor J! Please let her know we are thinking of her, sending her best wishes and purrs - she is a great lady. Thank her so much for taking care of the poor animals. And it was absolutely *not* her fault!
 Signature Polonca & Soncek
> I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I > do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she > takes it. Christina Websell - 18 Mar 2005 00:15 GMT >I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I >do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > her to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope > she takes it. Your friend does a good job in persuading people who might not otherwise do it, to spay and neuter their cats. OTOH, I cannot help but have some sympathy for the family whose dog is now dead because she encouraged them to have her spayed and she died. Even people described as "scum of the earth" whatever that means can love their animals, so perhaps a bit of verbal abuse over the death is understandable. After all, the dog would still be alive if she hadn't been spayed.
Both my cats are spayed/neutered. They are "moggies" mongrels if you would like to call it that. It isn't necessary for them to reproduce as there are plenty of moggies in all the shelters waiting for homes.
*However* my dogs were pedigree, of a high show standard and I occasionally bred from them. Not for money, but to spread their genes. If someone like your friend had come along and asked to me to spay and neuter all my dogs, I would have been quite, well, peeved, shall we say. I will be the one to decide if and when it's necessary. If I had taken notice of her, had a bitch spayed when I wouldn't have done and she died because of it, to be quite honest I might have reacted in the same way.
She should carry on her crusade, but realise that as a result of her advice, if their animal dies people are going to be angry and rightly so. She will have to learn to deal with it, because for sure it will happen again.
Tweed
KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 00:41 GMT > Your friend does a good job in persuading people who might not otherwise > do it, to spay and neuter their cats. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > understandable. After all, the dog would still be alive if she hadn't been > spayed. That's exactly what she feels bad about, that the dog died because she intervened. However, this dog was probably not pedigree, if they did breed him, they would be backyard breeders and I'm sure would not spay/neuter/vaccinate the puppies before selling them. They are living in a motel room with a couple children, the dog, and four cats when she met them. They are still the motel room, waiting for a bogus disability claim to come in. The woman flat-out told her it's fake. I wasn't putting down the people in any way for being upset that their dog died, I was just voicing concern for my friend.
Update on that situation: J called them with the autopsy report, and the woman initially sounded upset, but then was like "oh well", and said her husband never liked the dog anyway :( She's still going to surrender the kittens.
Some of the "scum of the earth" people she deals with are situations like: Yelling at her for showing up "so early" (8 am) to pick up and spay/neuter/vaccinate *their* cat for free, people who tell her things like "I don't want to spay my cat. I'm going to sell her kittens on the Internet.", getting kittens from a house because the boyfriend shot the mother cat, going to the same farm to TNR and rescue cats for years because people keep dumping cats there, calling to schedule free spay/neuter appointments that *she* is paying for and being told "not then, we'll be in Disney World" but the people can't pay for the s/n? Just some examples.
 Signature -Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG
Katz - 18 Mar 2005 00:36 GMT Wow! That's a tough situation. I feel so sorry for J and for the doggie & her family. And I'm afraid that will put them off spaying forever. :(
Katz
Margaret Fine - 18 Mar 2005 03:13 GMT > I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I > do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she > takes it. Please tell J that there are people that are very appreciative of what she does and admire her for it. Purrs that she is feeling better about everything soon.
 Signature Margaret Fine mefine@mindspring.com
Helen Wheels - 18 Mar 2005 03:32 GMT Good thoughts for your friend J! I don't know her, but I think I'd like to.
KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 03:52 GMT Thanks everyone for the purrs. I did pass along to her that there's a lot of people sending her positive energy. J is in better spirits now, but still feels awful about the dog. But, at least the people are still willing to work with her and surrender the kittens and get the momma cat spayed. Her foster cat is doing better. She's still at the vet's and being force fed, but she should be able to go home tomorrow or the next day.
 Signature -Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG
> Good thoughts for your friend J! I don't know her, but I think I'd like > to. Marina - 18 Mar 2005 05:32 GMT > I > don't know how she does it. The animals need her, and I would hate for her > to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she > takes it. I hope she takes it, too. Soothing and relaxing purrs on their way to J. She is doing wonderful work, but in order to carry on, she must take care of herself.
 Signature Marina, Frank, Nikki, and coming soon: Mere! marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki
Elise - 18 Mar 2005 05:42 GMT > I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I > do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need > of some purrs. Purrs on the way
 Signature Elise (supervised by Gossamer & Jeeves) pics: http://photos.yahoo.com/dragonandthistle@snet.net
Steve Touchstone - 18 Mar 2005 11:43 GMT Purrs on the way for J
 Signature Steve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy and Little Bit
stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email] Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html
Lesley Madigan - 18 Mar 2005 14:51 GMT > I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I > do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need > of some purrs. Purrs for your friend and her cat. People like her are wonderful and never appreciated enough
Lesley
Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
Victor Martinez - 18 Mar 2005 14:55 GMT Lots of purrs for "J" and our heartfelt thanks for caring so much for ferals.
 Signature Victor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com
glsummer@neptunelink.com - 18 Mar 2005 19:58 GMT >I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although I >do read the requests and keep them in my thoughts. I have a friend in need [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] >to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. I hope she >takes it. Purrs for your friend, "J". I have a friend KK, who is much the same, and I have had an earful about what goes on and some of the incredible sadness and burnout. It wasn't J's fault the dog died; it just happens sometimes, sadly. I hope things get better for your friend soon.
Blessings,
Ginger-lyn
Home Pages: http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/ http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats) http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~summer/index.htm (genealogy) http://www.i-love-cats.com/meow/glsummer/ (The Violence Against Animals in Movies Website)
Christina Websell - 18 Mar 2005 20:59 GMT >>I don't normally ask for purrs here, and I rarely post my purrs, although >>I [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > > Ginger-lyn I totally agree that "J" is doing a good job, promoting neutering and spaying. However, along with that must come the knowledge that if you persuade someone to have their pet speutered, and it dies because of the operation, some part of the blame lands on you. Because it would still have been alive if you hadn't insisted and persuaded. Regardless of the fact that the dog/cat might have been better off afterwards - if it had lived, of course! - there is a huge responsibility involved in advising people to have any sort of medical procedures done on their pets in case it goes wrong, like it did on this occasion. Maybe it would be a good idea if "J" not only promotes neutering, but also advises the owners of the (slim) risk of death from the procedure beforehand, then she probably wouldn't have had the phone call that she did. I don't wish to sound harsh, and whether it turned out or not that the owners loved their dog, she died anyway. And if she had been mine I'd have gone crazy, quite honestly. I am sure this will happen again. "J" needs to take this on board and accept it as part of the thing she does and take congratulations for the things that go well and the flak for those that didn't. Just my 2c worth. 2p over here.
Tweed
KellyH - 18 Mar 2005 22:11 GMT > I totally agree that "J" is doing a good job, promoting neutering and > spaying. [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Tweed Everyone has to sign a release which explains the risks of surgery, these people did, and it was explained to them verbally at the clinic. All I was saying is, my friend has had a bad week, between the dog dying and her foster cat being diagnosed with cancer and not doing well. It's a lot to take at once. She's not an overly sensitive person, but being called in the middle of the night and being yelled at would probably get to anyone. And yes, she does feel responsible about the dog. She has had a couple ferals die during s/n surgery over the years, but they had no one to grieve for them but her.
 Signature -Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG
Adrian - 19 Mar 2005 14:29 GMT <snip>
>J deals with some scum of the earth people in her spay/neuter ventures. I > don't know how she does it. The animals need her, and I would hate > for her to quit. I told her take some time off and clear your head. > I hope she takes it. Purrs that J finds the strength to carry on.
 Signature Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat.
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