Long story behind this kittyrap:

http://www.allspark.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=66902&st=0

In the above thread on a Transformers toy collecting board, Newsy told
of how her cat Birdie took on her brand new Alternators Shockblast
(Shockwave) toy.  (With pics!!!)  And a dare was made for me to write
a kittyrap.

The following kittyrap has verse 1 dedicated to Birdie, verse 2 to my
clowder and verse 3 to...you guys!  (Sorry to those I missed!)

It's sung to the tune of "Without Me" by Eminem.  If you don't know
the song you can search to find the real lyrics (more profanity than
mine) and even the MP3 to sing along to.

Enjoy.

--Fil

Pokin'em
"Without the Cat"

Two trailer park cats are fighting outside;
Fighting outside, fighting outside
*scratches*
Two trailer park cats are fighting outside;
Fighting outside, fighting outside
*scratches*

Guess who's bad
Bad again
Kitty's bad
Tell a friend
Guess who's bad, guess who's bad, guess who's bad, guess who's bad,
guess who's bad, guess who's bad, guess who's bad… {*Kitty purrs *}

Verse 1:
Kitty's a monster, cause nobody wants to see Kitty no more
They want Shockwave, I'm chopped liver
Well if you want Shockwave, this is what I'll give ya
A little bit of his hood mixed with some chewed sticker
Cracked plastic will jump start your heart quicker
than the shocks at the rotten vet's cat hospital
when the vet thinks I'm not co-operating
When I pounce him and hiss while he's operating    
You got your dumb toy, now stop debating
On the Allspark about distribution and waiting
I know that you collect these toys dear Mommy
but your lack of cat petting is complicating
Mommy you can't just let me be
Let me be me, and let me see:
I'm better than Energon on TV
Cause it feels so empty, without me
So, come on and pet me, both hands on the kitty,
Like that, me on your lap, don't say that I'm fat
And get ready, cause this kitty's gotten real heavy
I'm more fun than Shockwave, Hug Me Mommy!

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!
I said--this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!

Little hellions, bitties are feelin rebellious
Embarrassed their parents are human like Elvis
They start feeling like pets in the shelter, helpless
'til Nox comes along on a mission and yells M'ROW!!!
A visionary, Nocturne is scary
She starts a revolution, pollutin the litter
A rebel, while Smokey will revel and bask
in the fact that he's got couch cushions under his a.s   
And it's a disaster, such a castastrophe
for you can see so damn many cats; you asked for me?
Well I'm back, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-mau-mau
Fill the damn food bowls, catnip too and then I'm gonna
Jump on ya, under your skin like a claw
The center of attention, smack you with a paw
I'm interesting, and the kittens are wrestling
While Smokey snuggles into the blankets, nesting
Testing, attention please
Feel the tension, Nocturne just saw Smokey
She cost sixty bucks, and he was free
A nuisance, who sent? You sent for me?

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!
I said- this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!

A-tisket a-tasket, I go tit for tat with
Humans who are talkin' bout Kitty Farmcat
Rhett and Scarlett, Silver, Bandit
Duffy, Demi, Nina, Little Bit
Schmoggie, Oscar, Tiger, Stanley
Buster, Sarracine, Persia, Sammy
Dulce Mae, Robin, Captain, Clyde
And all their humans along for the ride
Now let's go, just gimme the signal
I'll be there on the mailing list typing my insults
I've been raising kitty hell and makin' a mess
ever since the old days of BBS
But sometimes the net—well it just seems
RPCA wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm dis-gus-ting
But I'm way better than Transformers rusting
And though I'm not the first cat of controversy
I am the worst thing since ol' Sylvester
Went on TV, chased Tweety Bird
and used it to get himself heard!
Here's a concept that works
Cats are kings and people, jerks
But no matter how many fish in the sea
There's never enough to feed to me…

Chorus:
Now this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!
I said- this looks like a job for cats
What do you losers have to say about that
Don't like getting kitty cat tit-for-tat?
Then don't you dare neglect your cat!

Cats!