Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / February 2005
We pushed each other too far
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Susan M - 10 Feb 2005 17:37 GMT Otis and I went too far last night.
First, I'd been out until 11:30 PM at a meeting and then couldn't sleep until sometime after 2:30 AM. Then, I got up to go the bathroom, *then* my husband got up to go to work at 5:15 AM.
Otis hadn't been outside enough yesterday. He worked on me from 5:15 AM until my alarm went off at 7:00 AM. He dug at my hair, face, and skin with sharp extended claws. He meowed, he stepped on my windpipe, and knocked things off my bedside table.
Eventually, I'd had enough. I said "NO!" and patted him rather sharply on his side. Y'all know I'd never hurt him but I was very firm with him. This was too much for him. He jumped down to a plastic bag in the corner and attacked it visciously for quite some time in retribution. He didn't like being spoken to or touched like that. I couldn't hear the news on the radio he was so crazy with the bag. I knew I shouldn't have done it - I should have just submitted.
I went off de-caff this AM.
Susan M Otis and Chester
Karen - 10 Feb 2005 17:47 GMT Hmm. Pearl has the ability to become Ultra Heavy when I don't want her doing something. Man, it's like she grows invisible hooks and just anchors herself to the floor. Cat's with 'tudes are definitely amusing even when annoying.
> Otis and I went too far last night. > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Susan M > Otis and Chester Bill Stock - 10 Feb 2005 18:37 GMT > Hmm. Pearl has the ability to become Ultra Heavy when I don't want her > doing > something. Man, it's like she grows invisible hooks and just anchors > herself > to the floor. Cat's with 'tudes are definitely amusing even when > annoying. Smokey has a patent on the heavy gravity device. She can double her weight at will, if she does not want picked up.
>> Otis and I went too far last night. >> [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] >> Susan M >> Otis and Chester SuzQ - 10 Feb 2005 18:29 GMT Poor Susan & Otis purrs that things settle down. Suz
Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 18:33 GMT > Otis and I went too far last night. > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Susan M > Otis and Chester I don't agree you should have submitted. This is totally unacceptable behaviour and you were quite right to correct him. So he didn't like being told off - tough! Neither did you like being dug at with extended claws. Don't feel bad. He sounds like he might need a little bit of loving discipline and relearning a few manners. You haven't spoilt him at all, have you? ;-) If he does this again, I would suggest you immediately pick him up and shut him out of the bedroom until morning. Yes, he will miaow outside the door, but it doesn't hurt like claws, and you wouldn't have slept anyway if he was clawing you. I know I don't have a huge lot of experience with cats, but I do have with dogs, and this type of behaviour management would definitely work with them. I see no reason why it shouldn't work with cats even though they think differently they are equally intelligent. If what they do ends up negatively, without them getting what they want, I'd like to bet they modify their behaviour if you do it often enough.
Tweed
pistor - 10 Feb 2005 18:47 GMT Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside the bedroom. He's King among Stubborn and Determinate Felines. Cats are nowhere near as trainable as dogs are, since cats do not look up to us as dogs do. :)
Victor, posting from work.
Karen - 10 Feb 2005 19:23 GMT > Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside > the bedroom. He's King among Stubborn and Determinate Felines. > Cats are nowhere near as trainable as dogs are, since cats do not look > up to us as dogs do. :) > > Victor, posting from work. He is definitely his own master.
Adrian - 12 Feb 2005 13:09 GMT >> Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside >> the bedroom. He's King among Stubborn and Determinate Felines. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > He is definitely his own master. And yours? ;-) -- Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat.
Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 19:37 GMT > Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside > the bedroom. Oh yes you can. He has to learn that he will not get exactly what he wants by clawing at his meowmie in the night with extended claws. He has to learn that he will *not* get anything he wants by doing this.
> He's King among Stubborn and Determinate Felines. Yes, I realise this, but the simple fact is that meowmie must be the boss. Always. Gently but always.
> Cats are nowhere near as trainable as dogs are, since cats do not look > up to us as dogs do. :) I know this too. Any animal will eventually cease an unwanted behavour if it never gets the results they were looking for. Otis is being manipulative and demanding, disturbing his meowmies sleep and it needs to stop RIGHT NOW!
And it *will* stop if every time he does it, he is removed from the bedroom. He can return the next night, as usual, and if he claws and digs at meowmie and hurts her, he must be put outside the bedroom again and only allowed to remain if he sleeps quietly the next night and if not, out again. He will soon learn, he isn't stupid. I totally agree that cats are not as trainable as dogs, but I sometimes wonder if we use this as an excuse to let them do exactly as they like and I think that's not wise.
I don't allow my cats to come upstairs at night, as I don't sleep very well. They are perfectly happy downstairs in their comfy beds. However, if I did let them share my bed, the first time one did what Otis did..well. Let's just say on that night he was a very very norty cat (as BF would say..) BF says he would never scratch his meowmie ever if he lived to be an undred..
Tweed P.S. Boyfriend says I'd quite like to get in der bed with meowmie cos she has an electrik blanky But she won't let me. She say I have a nice warm bed downstairs, I say I want the electrik in the bed with meowmie. <sigh> but she definitely say no.
Karen - 10 Feb 2005 20:17 GMT Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your normal cat.
Karen P.S. I think BF is the ccuuuuuuuutest thing since sliced bread. If Sugar were braver she would ask him to be her Wink Wink.
> > Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside > > the bedroom. [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > want the electrik in the bed with meowmie. > <sigh> but she definitely say no. Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 21:49 GMT > Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your normal > cat. > > Karen I understand that, but I sometimes think that we excuse too much bad behaviour when our animals have had a bad start. I've been guilty of this myself. To live in harmony with us, our cats and dogs etc must learn what is, and is not acceptable, and it does them no favours to allow them to behave badly. They don't even know they shouldn't do it unless they are guided away from it, into the right behaviour. Cats would like us to believe that they can't be trained. It isn't true. They don't want to be trained and that is a totally different thing.
> P.S. I think BF is the ccuuuuuuuutest thing since sliced bread. If Sugar > were braver she would ask him to be her Wink Wink. Too late, he's spoken for. Not only does he have Mimi, but he has found a little 7 month old girlkitty to play with in the garden. She lives next door, and has only just been allowed outside after her snip, but she's moving away in about three weeks time. He so did need someone to play with.
Tweed
Karen - 10 Feb 2005 22:02 GMT > > Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your normal > > cat. [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Tweed Oh bummer!! That is too bad that she has to move. Poor BF.
jmcquown - 10 Feb 2005 22:43 GMT >>> Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your >>> normal cat. [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] >> > Oh bummer!! That is too bad that she has to move. Poor BF. Sounds like time for Tweed to adopt a snipped little girl kitty for BF to play with :)
Jill
Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 22:57 GMT >>>> Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your >>>> normal cat. [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > Jill Good idea; and Kitty FC would say what...?
Tweed
jmcquown - 10 Feb 2005 23:16 GMT >>>>> Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your >>>>> normal cat. [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Tweed "They're just friends" ;)
Jill
Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 23:37 GMT >>>>>> Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your >>>>>> normal cat. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > > Jill Wrong. If I adopted a young girlkitty for BF to play with to live actually in this house, Kitty would bash her brains out.
Tweed
Monique Y. Mudama - 11 Feb 2005 00:40 GMT > Wrong. If I adopted a young girlkitty for BF to play with to live actually > in this house, Kitty would bash her brains out. > > Tweed But surely you could train her not to do that?
*duck*
Sorry, it was just the first thing that sprang into my head ...
But why would KittyFC tolerate BF, but not another cat?
 Signature monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*
Christina Websell - 12 Feb 2005 16:07 GMT >> Wrong. If I adopted a young girlkitty for BF to play with to live >> actually [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > *duck* I'm glad you ducked ;-)
> Sorry, it was just the first thing that sprang into my head ... When things spring into your head like that, pretend your keyboard is locked for five minutes..
> But why would KittyFC tolerate BF, but not another cat? I'll try to cut a long story short, as some of the group have read Kitty & Boyfriend's story before. When I had dogs, right up to just a few years ago, Kitty lived in my garden. She actually had a home a few doors away, but chose to leave it and take her chance catching mice and stuff around my poultry huts and sleeping in my toolshed. Kitty had to vacate the garden every time my dogs went outside. They wouldn't tolerate cats and her life would have been in danger. I used to put a saucer of food out for her every morning and evening, but a long way from the house. She lived like this for at least 7 years.
Anyway, my last beloved whippet, Logan, went to the RB aged 17 one October and in the December Kitty knocked on the door and asked if she could come in. Although I didn't want a cat, I could think of no reason why not and the rest is history. Kitty is/was very territorial, her garden and home were hard won, so when I started to see her outside accompanied by a tabby & white goofy teenager it was obvious that this must be her "boyfriend" as she never allowed any cats in her territory before. So that's how BF got his name. He gradually crept his way inside and mostly she accepts him, but she subjects him to some regular domestic violence, which he is prepared to tolerate. If I brought a young female kitty to live inside the house from the word go - well - the roof would probably come off. IT TOOK ME MORE THAN 7 YEARS TO GET INSIDE THIS HOUSE!! Go away. LOL. I think Kitty even at her advanced age would have a little more to say about it than this! She is one small fierce tuxedo girl (hey, sometimes she scares me ;-) )
Tweed
Karen Chuplis - 11 Feb 2005 00:08 GMT >>>>> Tweed, sometime google Otis' history. He really is, well, not your >>>>> normal cat. [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Tweed "Thank goodness someone else is keeping BF busy!" :)
Monique Y. Mudama - 10 Feb 2005 20:44 GMT > And it *will* stop if every time he does it, he is removed from the bedroom. You're definitely right. When Oscar acts up and I subsequently lock her out of the bedroom, she instantly stops whatever foolishness she was perpetrating ... and starts attacking the bedroom door instead. "boom boom boom boom" goes the door, all night long.
I have found that locking her in the basement works, although that may only be because I can't hear her through two stories. But it's really hard to get her down the stairs and not accidentally let her back out again when I'm half-asleep.
She does this extremely rarely, though. Only when I have an important meeting in the early morning.
 Signature monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*
CatNipped - 10 Feb 2005 21:24 GMT LOL - spoken like a true former dog owner! Sorry Tweed, cats are unlike any other animal I've ever dealt with - they *are* trainable - but only to do the things they *want* to do. And some, like Otis, are more stubborn than most.
Hugs,
CatNipped
>> Oh no! You can't just discipline Otis and you can't shut him outside >> the bedroom. [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] > want the electrik in the bed with meowmie. > <sigh> but she definitely say no. Christina Websell - 10 Feb 2005 22:01 GMT > LOL - spoken like a true former dog owner! Sorry Tweed, cats are unlike > any other animal I've ever dealt with - they *are* trainable - but only to [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > CatNipped Oh, I do realise that my doggy-ownerness comes through. But just try it, take him away from what he wants when he behaves badly and I really think it will work! Has to be consistent though. Bad behaviour - out of the bedroom immediately. At first they can come back in after 30 minutes or so but if the bad behaviour returns they are out again. I cannot see how it can fail. Bad behaviour is punished by banishment, good behaviour by getting to sleep quietly with meowmie. If they don't get the hang of this after a few days they are far more stupid than I imagined.
Tweed
CatNipped - 10 Feb 2005 22:12 GMT >> LOL - spoken like a true former dog owner! Sorry Tweed, cats are unlike >> any other animal I've ever dealt with - they *are* trainable - but only [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Tweed Sorry, still giggling. Yep good behavior until they've lulled you into a false sense of security and then OUCH! Cats firmly believe that revenge is a dish best servced cold! ;>
No really, cats are totally amoral, totally self-centered, and truly believe that the world revolves around them and their wants and needs (I know, I'm very cat-like ;>).
A cat's point of view: Banished from the bedroom??? - why you are being evil and acting insanely - it couldn't possibly have anything to do with what *I've* done, everything *I* do is perfectly acceptable and good. It's *you* being pernicious and downright rude and I *will* get you back for this!!!
Hugs,
CatNipped
Gabey8 - 10 Feb 2005 22:11 GMT [[I don't agree you should have submitted. This is totally unacceptable behaviour and you were quite right to correct him. So he didn't like being told off - tough! Neither did you like being dug at with extended claws. Don't feel bad. He sounds like he might need a little bit of loving discipline and relearning a few manners. You haven't spoilt him at all, have you? ;-) If he does this again, I would suggest you immediately pick him up and shut him out of the bedroom until morning. Yes, he will miaow outside the door, but it doesn't hurt like claws, and you wouldn't have slept anyway if he was clawing you. I know I don't have a huge lot of experience with cats, but I do have with
dogs, and this type of behaviour management would definitely work with them. I see no reason why it shouldn't work with cats even though they think differently they are equally intelligent. If what they do ends up negatively, without them getting what they want, I'd like to bet they modify their behaviour if you do it often enough.]]
Exactly. I had to give Captain and Stanley a "time out" a few days ago when they decided to try some "tag team" misbehaving. Sometimes there's no choice but to set a strict limit and make it CLEAR to the cat(s) where the limit lies.
When DH and I are not home, as well as overnight when we're both asleep, the cats stay in the basement. It's cat-proofed, there's plenty of room to play, and they have food, water, litterboxes, beds, and toys there. This is how we ensure that while we're not supervising them, they're neither getting into something that could hurt them, playing with things that they could break, or going into off-limits places like the dining room/kitchen tables or chairs.
One other thing they can't do while in the basement is SCRATCH anything of importance, like furniture. They both know by now that any scratching of the living room furniture WILL get them reprimanded. So they tried a little experiment a few evenings ago.
I got home from work and let the cats come upstairs. Stanley immediately started scratching the love seat. I reprimanded him. Captain instantly scratched at the sofa. I reprimanded HIM. Right away, Stanley started in on the love seat again.
That did it. I reprimanded Stanley and sent BOTH cats back into the basement for a time-out. About ten minutes later, I let them come upstairs again, and they didn't scratch at the furniture for the rest of the night.
They DO have a carpet-covered kitty tower and I know they're well aware that they can scratch that freely, since I praise them every time they do it. But the furniture seems to be one of those "testing the limits" tools for the cats. They've only been with us for a couple of weeks, so I think they're still testing just HOW far they can go when they misbehave. It shouldn't take them long to figure out that the answer is "not far". They get removed bodily right away from dining room or kitchen tables and chairs. They even get a "NO" if they are obviously THINKING about jumping onto off-limits places. To their credit, they usually respond to "no" by stopping whatever they were doing right away. Whoever had them before we adopted them obviously taught them what the word NO means.
I'm keeping their front claws trimmed so that, until they've broken the habit of going for the upholstery, they won't be able to do much damage anyway. :o) Melody and Harmony (both RB) learned not to scratch furniture, and I'm confident that these little guys will learn, as well.
But in the meantime, I'm not surprised that there's limit-testing going on. They're still new in our household and they're young, so it's only natural for them to still be learning where the boundaries are.
My goal is to ensure that they both learn two things. 1) I'm the alpha cat in the house, and 2) though they're not at the top of the hierarchy, they will never lack for anything. Since food, water, and doting are in infinite supply, it won't trouble them one bit to let someone else be the alpha cat. So far, they're pretty well-behaved, so I think they're picking up on those lessons pretty easily.
Donna and the pampered twosome, Captain and Stanley
Monique Y. Mudama - 10 Feb 2005 22:23 GMT > To their credit, they usually respond to "no" by stopping whatever > they were doing right away. Whoever had them before we adopted them > obviously taught them what the word NO means. I honestly think you could say "Rhubarb" in the appropriate tone and it would work.
Oscar stops whatever's annoying me if I say "No!" in the appropriate tone or "Oscar" in a warning tone. That doesn't mean she won't start up again shortly thereafter, but at least she listens to me. She completely ignores DH unless he removes her bodily from the troublesome location.
Oddly enough, a friend's dog trainer said that you should never use the dog's name in association with reprimand, but only use it when calling. This seems silly to me. None of my pets have ever had trouble distinguishing among different uses of their name (calling, praising, angry/warning). I honestly think the tone is much more meaningful than the words themselves. Maybe there's some other line of reasoning of which I'm not aware.
 Signature monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!*
Gabey8 - 11 Feb 2005 17:36 GMT [[Oddly enough, a friend's dog trainer said that you should never use the dog's name in association with reprimand, but only use it when calling. This seems silly to me. None of my pets have ever had trouble distinguishing among different uses of their name (calling, praising, angry/warning). I honestly think the tone is much more meaningful than the words themselves. Maybe there's some other line of reasoning of which I'm not aware.]]
I agree with you. If only one cat is misbehaving, and I want THAT CAT to stop what he's doing, why wouldn't I want to use his name first?
Suppose Captain's doing something he shouldn't. "Captain! NO!", with both words used in a reprimand tone of voice, is the only way I can think of to identify clearly, to both cats, which one of them I want to stop what he's doing. Especially if Stanley's occupying himself with something that's permissible.
Just flinging a generic "NO!" out there might make BOTH cats think they're doing something wrong. If only one cat is breaking a rule, I don't want to confuse the other cat into thinking HE'S been reprimanded, too.
I figure as long as I use their names liberally at positive times, like when they're being good or when they're getting fussed over, then they'll be all right if I have to use one of their names in the same sentence with a reprimand.
Donna, Captain, and Stanley
Susan M - 13 Feb 2005 01:07 GMT "Christina Websell" <spamfree@tinawebsell.wanadoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> I don't agree you should have submitted. This is totally unacceptable > behaviour and you were quite right to correct him. <snippage>
> If he does this again, I would suggest you immediately pick him up and > shut him out of the bedroom until morning. Yes, he will miaow outside the > door, but it doesn't hurt like claws, and you wouldn't have slept anyway > if he was clawing you. I'm kind of speechless Christina - don't really know where to start :D
Now that we are in our new house, there are times that I put him in the basement at night if I know I have to sleep. He yowls (not meows - he's part siamese) *all night*, even though he's 9 years old. If the basement door is closed and my door is closed, two floors up, its only a dull roar. He will throw himself against the door ad inifitum as well. When I let him out in the morning, his voice will be hoarse. I was too tired to get up and put him in the basement that night though. I could *not* put him outside the bedroom door. The yowling, throwing his body at the door, and possibly digging at the door until his paws bled (seriously), would be too much for me and my children, also trying to sleep. Otis *never* gives up. Never never NEVER. Never. Never has, never will. I've tried to outlast him many times throughout the years. His piece de resistance involves strolling over to the middle of the carpeted floor, squatting like a dog and peeing if he doesn't get his way.
The problem is twofold now. If he gets too stressed and annoyed - and stressed and annoyed can mean locked in the basement or away from mommy too often- he gets a stress related bladder condition and then begins to pee everywhere because the pee hurts his bladder.
Second, with the kids and particularly with Sam's allergies, the cats don't get as much of my attention as they'd like. I can't pet them at random because I always have to be careful with washing my hands before then touching Sam. I also have to be careful about not letting them up on my lap too much during the day because of the hair on my clothes. Otis isn't fond of little people and stays away from me when they are around me. If he isn't with me at night to reconnect, he gets a little wild. Gets stressed and an irritated bladder, and stays out longer than he should. Doesnt' come home when he's called. He's a one person ridiculously devoted affectionate cat.
Water spray made Otis mad - he redoubled his efforts at being bad whenever he was sprayed. Sticking him in the basement kept all of us up all night in the old bungalow. Being locked out of anywhere is simply unacceptable to him and he won't rest until he's bleeding or out. Reference here to the cat spa and his escape from the cat boarders when we went to Ireland. Also reference to the day we moved in here and I put the cats in the upstairs bathroom. Otis threw himself at the window screen situated over the toilet. He hung on and the screen fell back and out of the window with his weight. Lord knows where he landed when he fell, still attached to the screen. He then escaped out window and I came home to find the cats circling around the roof and ready to escape into the new and unfamiliar neighbourhood.
I've said it before, but my TED has said that any other person in his practice would have had Otis put down from all the property damage and difficulty that he's put us through.
So now we are on a carefully managed schedule which involves lots of exercise outside, between certain safer hours near the park here, lots of attention after the kids go to bed, and lots of hugs and purrs at night. We're generally at equilibrium; however, if he doesn't get out enough, the whole thing falls apart.
He's my buddy and I love him!
Susan M Otis and Chester
CatNipped - 10 Feb 2005 21:24 GMT > Otis and I went too far last night. > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Susan M > Otis and Chester Purrs that Otis gets over his miff soon and forgives you for your outrageous behavior! ;>
Hugs,
CatNipped
Gabey8 - 10 Feb 2005 21:49 GMT I think every cat has their moments where they test the limits a bit. It's probably hard-wired into them to see if they can bump themselves up a notch in the social hierarchy once in a while.
And when the cat above them in the social order, or in this case the Meowmy, has had enough, they have to let it be known.
If you were noticeably more stern than usual, I think Otis won't forget any time soon that he shouldn't cross that line again. And I'm sure you're only going to apply the "extra-stern" treatment on significant occasions, so that those moments will stand out enough for the kitties to remember them.
I think Otis will be fine.
Donna, and the kitties who are still learning some of the "house rules", Captain and Stanley
polonca12000 - 10 Feb 2005 22:17 GMT Your patience never ceases to amaze me, Susan. So please give yourself credit for being truly the best meowmie possible for Otis. Lots of hugs and purrs,
 Signature Polonca & Soncek
> Otis and I went too far last night. <snip> He didn't like
> being spoken to or touched like that. I couldn't hear the news on the radio > he was so crazy with the bag. I knew I shouldn't have done it - I should [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Susan M > Otis and Chester
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