Cast of Characters:

Sammy - 9-month-old female kitten
Jessie - 5-year-old female cat
Demi - 6-year-old female cat
Mommy - MUCH older female human

Mommy puts her "Yoga for Beginners" DVD in the player and rolls out her new
yoga mat onto the great room floor.  Sammy and Jessie immediately run over
to the mat to start sniffing and sharpening their claws on.  Mommy tries to
shoo the kitties off her yoga mat while listening to the introduction to the
DVD.

Mommy watches as the instructor demonstrates Tadasana, the "Mountain Pose".
OK, standing up straight seems to be easy enough, so Mommy practices her
first yoga pose - this is going to be a snap.

Mommy listens as the instructors tells Mommy to become calm and quiet and
focus her attention inwards to the seat of her soul.  Mommy's attention
turns inwards until Mommy feels a familiar nibbling around her ankles.  It
seems Sammy does not want Mommy's attention directed inwards, but would
rather have Mommy's attention directed outwards towards her own magnificent
self.

Mommy shoos Sammy away and hurries to catch up to the instructor who is now
demonstrating Vajrasana, a simple sitting pose.  Wow, Mommy never dreamed
yoga could be so easy to do, in fact Mommy has been standing and sitting her
whole life - Mommy has mastered yoga and didn't even know it!

The instructor goes on to demonstrate Uttbita Trikonasana.  OK, now this
looks a bit more difficult.  Mommy spreads her legs wide apart and leans to
the left to put her left hand behind her left ankle without bending either
leg.  Mommy promptly loses her balance and falls forward on her face.  Mommy
glances over to see Jessie rolling on the floor and laughing at Mommy.

Mommy quickly rises and tries to catch up to the instructor who is now
repeating this pose to the right.  Mommy picks herself off the floor for a
second time and goes on to the next pose.

Uttibita Parsvakonasana (who the heck thought up these pose names,
anyway!!???), is a modified version of the impossible split and stretch.  At
least this time Mommy is allowed to bend her left leg as she leans over to
place her left hand behind her left ankle.  Mommy promptly loses her balance
and falls backwards onto her posterior.  Mommy glances over to see both
Jessie and Sammy rolling on the floor and laughing at Mommy.  Demi has
meandered over to see what all the amusement is about, takes one look at
Mommy and joins in the laughter.

The instructor is now demonstrating Uttanasana, a "simple" forward bend.
Mommy puts her arms over her head, grasps her elbows, bends at the waist,
and attempts to put her head on her shins as she sees the instructor doing.
Mommy's head goes nowhere near her shins, but it is low enough for her to
see behind her between her legs.  Jessie is lying down with her hind legs
stretched over her head and her front legs wrapped around her hind legs.
"Show-off", Mommy sneers.

The instructor has gotten too far ahead of Mommy so Mommy takes a moment to
rewind the DVD to the place where she last landed on her posterior.  Mommy
sees the instructor demonstrating Virabbadrasana II, or "Proud Warrior".
Mommy attempts this sideways lunge but looks more like a humble pacifist
than a proud warrior.

Mommy continues to (sort of) follow the instructor as she demonstrates
Prasarita Padottanasana.  Mommy spreads her legs apart and leans forward to
place her hands flat on the floor in front of her shoulders.  Mommy's
forward momentum is a little too much, however, and Mommy's arms buckle as
she plunges towards the floor face first.

Mommy just lies on the floor with her mouth agape as she watches the
instructor continue forward until the instructor's elbows are resting on the
floor next to her feet.  OK, maybe this yoga thing isn't so easy after all!
Sammy, seeing Mommy sitting on the floor, runs over to see what Mommy wants
to play.  Mommy shoos Sammy off the mat again and is rewarded with an ankle
bite for her efforts.

Mommy gets back up and tries the next pose, Abdo Mukba Svanasana, or
"Downward-facing Dog".  Jessie sees Mommy's back arched and thinks Mommy is
challenging her.  Jessie arches her own back and hisses at Mommy.  Demi
takes one look at Mommy and Jessie posturing for a fight and quickly departs
to her hide-out beneath the bed.  Sammy, thinking Jessie wants to play,
throws herself on top of tiny Jessie.  Jessie, ready to fight Mommy, is
startled, wriggles out from beneath Sammy's massive body and gives Sammy a
swat to the ear.  Sammy, her feelings hurt more than her ear, jumps on top
of Mommy's head in retaliation for Mommy's laughter at her.

Mommy removes Sammy from her head and turns her attention back to the yoga
instructor who is now demonstrating Dandasana.  Alright!  Finally back to
something Mommy can do - sitting down with her legs stretched in front of
her.  Mommy's relief is short lived, however, as she watches the instructor
lean over into Paschimottanasana (do the number of syllables in the pose
name correspond to the difficulty of the pose??!!).

Mommy attempts to place her head on her shins, but gets nowhere near them.
Jessie shows Mommy how easy it is to do this, but Mommy is not impressed -
the yoga teacher is doing it and she's not even a cat!

The instructor takes mommy through Baddba Konasana which Mommy finds fairly
simple to do, again, Mommy has been sitting for most of her life, and then
goes into Viparita Karani, which is just lying down with her feet on a
wall - unconventional, but doable.

The final pose the instructor demonstrates is Savasana (good, very few
syllables there), and Mommy knows she has come into her own.  Lying down is
even easier than sitting.  However, the instructor is telling Mommy that she
must again focus her attention inwards, breath slowly and deeply, and relax
all her muscles.  Mommy's muscles are very sore from all the contortions the
instructor has made her do, so relaxing them isn't as easy as it should be.
And breathing slowly and deeply would be much easier without a 15 pound
kitting laying on your face!

Hugs,

CatNipped

View all the "...With Mommy" stories at
http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/Sammy.asp