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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / January 2005Another OT Venting
Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. However, mine has just informed me no way in HELL will he help me pay my bills. Said he's done far enough for me and that's the end of it and I should get a job as a greeter at WalMart or something if that's what it takes. He blames me for losing my job, even though I worked there for 11 years. He has no idea about working in the corporate world; he's retired military. (He worked one civilian job after that as Director of Security at a college, where he was pretty much allowed to act like the retired officer he is.) He wants me to sell all my furniture and move in with my brother. My brother has a house - and the room I'd move into actually contains bedroom furniture *I* gave to him when he had none. Dad said sell your couch, sell your tables, sell everything but your cookware (don't ask why he thinks I should keep that and nothing else) and your clothes and get your a** over there. Oh, and when I get back on my feet, then what? Then I have no furniture and what... like a college kid have to start all over again? It took me *years* to acquire 5 rooms worth of furniture! Assuming I wanted for a single moment to move in with my brother... there is the matter of my lease. My apartment manager graciously waived a rent increase and eliminated the monthly pet fee for Persia in light of my circumstances. But if I break the lease without being transferred by a job outside of this area, I incur an automatic $700 plus a $420 "re-decorating" fee. No offer of help with that, just the suggestion I work a couple of jobs at the same time because he's not lifting a finger to help me. This from the guy who thought I could sell a stupid book on eBay for $30K. Now I have to pay the friggin listing fees and no, I didn't ask $30,000 for it LOL Dad blames me for having a bitch of a manager I didn't get along with who finally found a way to get rid of me. Says I played into office politics so it's my fault. He's angry because I was "galavanting all over the place with that guy John". That "galavanting" paid my bills for most of 2004. I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. Jill > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't > get me wrong, I love my father dearly. That's why it hurts so much when they say mean things =/ As near as I can tell, most fathers simply live in a different world. My dad went from being in the military to working for the government, and mom would frequently try to remind him that he couldn't run his family the way he ran his office at work. Often he irritably disagreed with her. I love my parents, but I'm sooo glad to be out of the house =) You're in a really tight spot, and it sounds like your dad just doesn't get it. Even if it *were* your fault that you were fired, what good does it do to focus on that? It's irrelevant now. *hug* It'll all work out. It will. Just keep trying, and if you can, just don't let your dad talk to you this way. If you're talking to him and he starts up the same old spiel, tell him that you're busy and you have to go now. Train him with timeouts, just as you would a cat. Spray bottle optional =P  Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* >> Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. >> Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > and you have to go now. Train him with timeouts, just as you would a > cat. Spray bottle optional =P LOL! Thanks, Monique. My "real" father apparently lives in a parallel universe... after making me cry he just had my mom call to ask me the name of my bank. She said "You know how he is, he sits and stews about things." Yeah, like he thought I could get $30,000 for a book. She laughed and took down my bank info. Tomorrow I'll go sign up with some temp agencies. Jill > LOL! Thanks, Monique. My "real" father apparently lives in a parallel > universe... after making me cry he just had my mom call to ask me the name > of my bank. She said "You know how he is, he sits and stews about things." > Yeah, like he thought I could get $30,000 for a book. She laughed and took > down my bank info. Well, good luck with the bank thing! Maybe he just needed some time, and probably some prodding from your mom. > Tomorrow I'll go sign up with some temp agencies. Sound good! Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* >> Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. >> Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > doesn't get it. Even if it *were* your fault that you were fired, > what good does it do to focus on that? It's irrelevant now. That's an excellent point, even though I don't feel it was my fault. But then, who ever does? Maybe after 11 years of working my a.s off for them, this new manager knew better. Dad says I played into the office politics; the fact is I refused to play that game which was probably my downfall. I don't kiss anyone's a.s. > *hug* It'll all work out. It will. Just keep trying, and if you > can, just don't let your dad talk to you this way. If you're talking > to him and he starts up the same old spiel, tell him that you're busy > and you have to go now. My long-lost, John, said the same thing. Dad started this crap right after I lost my job and stopped speaking to me when he found out I went on a trip with John when I should have been (in his estimation) pounding the pavement, even though I was paid for working on the trip. John told me when Dad started his spiel to simply repeat over and over "I love you" until he shut up. I did and it shut him up... for a while. Train him with timeouts, just as you would a > cat. Spray bottle optional =P LOL! Wish I could squirt him! Just yesterday morning he was telling me to keep the cat and bird safe and warm, then last night he went off on a tangent about my situation. I honestly wonder if he's really 'all there'. He's 80 years old. I think Mom is wondering, too. Jill I feel for you in your situation. I hope things start to improve on the job front soon. Regards your dad, it may be that he is suffering from age related mental health problems, so maybe it is not all his fault that he has been giving you a hard time. After 20 years of not being able to see or contact my Dad, I now have to watch him suffering from Parkinsons and Dementia and it isn't easy. Sometimes he talks sense,but most of the time he is in a world of his own and talks nonsense. Purrrs from Memphis and Phoenix > I feel for you in your situation. I hope things start to improve on > the job front soon. Regards your dad, it may be that he is suffering > from age related mental health problems, so maybe it is not all his > fault that he has been giving you a hard time. Thank you. He just called and is acting like he never blew up at me. Said he's making a pot of his navy bean soup with the ham bone from the New Year's ham. I mentioned I'm making a chuck roast and he exclaimed "Oh, that's good! I love stringy meat! and it makes good gravy, too!" It's like the anger from yesterday (or last year) never happened. Go figure. > After 20 years of not being able to see or contact my Dad, I now have > to watch him suffering from Parkinsons and Dementia and it isn't easy. I'm so sorry to hear that. I have an uncle with Parkinson's. > Sometimes he talks sense,but most of the time he is in a world of his > own and talks nonsense. Well, Dad talks sense (except when it comes to his military 'treasures') but he gets so angry at times. It's really not like I could help losing my job. He couldn't exactly get fired as an officer from the military unless he did something to warrant a court martial. Has no idea what it's like in that other (our) world. > Purrrs from Memphis and Phoenix Thanks; they are lovely cats! Jill >> I feel for you in your situation. I hope things start to improve on the job >> front soon. Regards your dad, it may be that he is suffering from age [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > that's good! I love stringy meat! and it makes good gravy, too!" It's like > the anger from yesterday (or last year) never happened. Go figure. Jill, is this kind of complete about-face typical for your dad, or is it a new thing? I really do wonder if he's having a health issue and should see a doctor. On the other hand, my high school bf's dad was kind of like that. Would blow up and say just the nastiest things, then a little while later act like nothing had happened. It was downright scary to me. I just figured that he had no self-control and little understanding of what's appropriate. Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* > Jill, is this kind of complete about-face typical for your dad, or is it a new > thing? I really do wonder if he's having a health issue and should see a > doctor. > On the other hand, my high school bf's dad was kind of like that. Would blow > up and say just the nastiest things, then a little while later act like > nothing had happened. It was downright scary to me. I just figured that he > had no self-control and little understanding of what's appropriate. With some people, it's just a matter of temperament. Some people are more volatile than others. If you really want miscommunication and hurt feelings, combine a 'speak my mind and then forget it' type in the same family or office as a 'thinks before speaking but rarely forgets' type. SignatureCheryl > >> I feel for you in your situation. I hope things start to improve on the job > >> front soon. Regards your dad, it may be that he is suffering from age [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > nothing had happened. It was downright scary to me. I just figured that he > had no self-control and little understanding of what's appropriate. My dad can be like that. He's always been that way but I think it's getting worse as he gets older. I also used to have a boss like that. He'd fire us all the time and then wonder what was going on when nobody showed up for work the next day. Eventually we learned to just ignore the firings and hide from him in the oil shed when he would go walking around. Shudder. Awful days. -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > Thank you. He just called and is acting like he never blew up at me. Jill, I wonder if your father's reactions are frustration from an inability to control the situation. You said he was a Marine officer so that he's used to having control. He can't control your situation so he gets frustrated. Perhaps later he realizes how he reacted and tries to ignore it. It doesn't make it any easier for you to have to deal with but maybe it would help if that's the problem and you understand. Hugs and purrs for you in any case. Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey and Sam >> Thank you. He just called and is acting like he never blew up at me. > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Hugs and purrs for you in any case. > Julie, Hobbes, Selena, Lacey and Sam Thank you! Yes, he's been this way pretty much all along. And believe it or not, he's mellowed quite a bit in the last 20 years! So yes, I do understand, but he still has the ability to hurt my feelings. I'm his youngest child and his only daughter. And I didn't fit the mould of getting married to Mr. Perfect and having 2.3 kids. Then again, he tends to treat me like one of his sons. But I'll bet he never read my brother Scott the riot act for all the women he's dated over the years the way he did me about my boyfriends. Oh well :) I may be broke and unemployed but I'm happy for the first time in a long time - how perverse is that? LOL Jill > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't > get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Jill Aww Jill. I know it seems mean, but usually that just means they are really worried. I think that is his version of "tough love". I sure hope things get better soon and I hope you can find something that is just spectacular. {{{{{Jill}}}}}, Sounds like your dad and mine would get along fine.....Mine always had a way to make me cry.....don't miss him a bit but that's another story...... Anyhow, you just do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and Persia safe and sane and don't worry about him, ok? Purrs coming your way... --Kim and Lucy > {{{{{Jill}}}}}, > [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Purrs coming your way... > --Kim and Lucy Thank you. He's just stubborn as hell. Two weeks ago he sent me a book which he said not to accept less than $30,000 for (yeah, right) and had me list it on eBay. I set the starting bid at $1000 with a reserve of $2000. Think anyone bid on it? Of course not. But he said "Just trying to get you wealthy, kid." I'm not a "kid". Then yesterday it was, "no way in Hell am I gonna help you." He goes from one weird extreme to another. Mom did call to ask for my bank information so they can wire transfer some funds to my bank for my utility bill, phone bill, like that. Thank god I don't have medical bills right now, although I have a feeling I'll wind up with some. I've been having slight pressure-like chest pains. (sigh) Persia is well taken care of. I have enough of her Rx food for about 6 months. Same goes for my little parrot (lovebird) Peaches. They are first and foremost :) Jill On Wed 12 Jan 2005 07:20:29p, jmcquown wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes (news:e5jFd.3073$MP1.174 @bignews1.bellsouth.net): > I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. Jill, I'm crying for you now too. This could happen, and does, to any of us. It is hard times we live in now, you know? I wonder about my future sometimes. It is rough where I work, and they have nothing but budgets on their minds, and I live in constant stress wondering what would happen to me if I lose my job. I have 4 lovable kiutties sending purrs that something comes up for you, and very soon. I read some of the posts in job hunting/purr request threads and I wish I had replied, but feeling sorry for myself too, and it numbed me thinking about it, so sort of paralyzed of feelings. I was interested in the posts about temp jobs, because that is how I got my job almost 8 years ago. I was hired to help build computer systems for a new project starting up for a govmt contractor. Pfft. Install Windows and apps? I could do it in my sleep. As luck would have it, the company was growing and needed to build its Help Desk. So they hired me full time (after some bickering with the temp agency). Since then, I've negotiated different positions by talking to the dept heads and telling them I was bored and wanted more responsibility (plus, in the meantime, I'd gotten a few industry certifications. Meant something back then, not sure how they stack up now). It seemed like a good idea at the time - you don't get anywhere by waiting for them to put you into a job you want to do - you must be proactive. Or so I kept thinking. I now have a position that I wouldn't have thought I wanted, but got it because they wouldn't hire me for SQL DBA (only limited experience, all gained THERE), so offered a sort of lateral move because someone was leaving, and I had ZERO experience in that software, but now, almost 4 years later, I'm still the lead, and the one who they call "the search engine specialist". All of this because I put in an app with a technical temp agency. This rant is to tell you that there is hope. I know things are not like it was 8 years ago. But I'm about your age, and I wonder sometimes what the future holds for an aging techie. Temp agencies. They CAN rawk. :) Best wishes and a big {{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}} SignatureCheryl > This rant is to tell you that there is hope. I know things are not > like it was 8 years ago. But I'm about your age, and I wonder > sometimes what the future holds for an aging techie. Temp agencies. > They CAN rawk. :) Best wishes and a big {{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}} Just adding another shout-out for temp agencies. My brother was unemployed a few years ago, he's a graphic desinger. So he signed up with a agency that would give him temp assignments. This got him by until he could find a real job. A couple months ago, he was at his job, where he was making decent money and not even looking for another job, and the woman from the agency called because a company was looking for a graphic designer, and she thought of him! This job is awesome, he's making $20K more than he was before and gets great benefits. Jill, about your dad problem. I solved my over-involved, telling me what to do even though I'm an adult situation with my parents by moving 500 miles away. Now they don't know if I went out to dinner last night or bought a new outfit or used my money in some other frivolous manner. My parents bailed me out of a financial mess when I was in my early 20's, and I'm grateful, but I don't feel as though that gives them some kind of right to keep tabs on me. You are an adult, this is your life. If I were you, I just wouldn't tell your dad anything about your financial situation. If he asks you, just say "fine". I know you could use their help, but that will just make him feel more like he has a right to know every detail of your life. If you do take the help, pay him back. I gave my parents small payments until what they gave me was paid off. I didn't have to, and they didn't need the money, but now I don't feel like I owe them anything. Signature-Kelly kelly at farringtons dot net "Wake up, and smell the cat food" -TMBG >> This rant is to tell you that there is hope. I know things are not >> like it was 8 years ago. But I'm about your age, and I wonder [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > is awesome, he's making $20K more than he was before and gets great > benefits. Sounds Great! > Jill, about your dad problem. I solved my over-involved, telling me > what to do even though I'm an adult situation with my parents by > moving 500 miles away. Mine already live 700 miles away. I HAD to ask for some help. My unemployment ran out, my savings is down to a couple hundred bucks. My long lost love, John, is going to pay my February rent. But he's dealing with hospital bills himself. Of course the utility bill is due, the phone bill is due (which includes my internet connection, frivilous perhaps but I would go NUTS without it). Not to mention little things like oh gee, light bulbs, toilet paper, "feminine items", stuff you can't do without, you know? That stuff adds up fast! > If you do take the help, pay him back. I gave my parents small > payments until what they gave me was paid off. I didn't have to, and > they didn't need the money, but now I don't feel like I owe them > anything. I'll do my best to pay him back, of course. And it killed me to have to ask. For the better part of a year I haven't had to and it killed me to make that phone call, believe me. Thanks for your thoughts! Jill > I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. > > Jill We will be sending our absolute best purrs your way, and will keep doing so. > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. > Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. <snip> Wow. My father is former USAF, and would be *nearing* his eighties were he still alive. I certainly hope he wouldn't be like that. My mother, on the other hand, I know would help *some*. My sister, who lives in Florida, lost her job around Christmas '03, but her hubby is still employed. However, they are having domestic diffuclties. Fortunately, they chose to not have children, as my sister likes to come up to visit Mom once a year (I just found out that Mom was paying her airfair all these years). When she called Mom on Thanksgiving, she menioned a 'one-way ticket', which shocked Mom. This was the first we had heard ot their domestic problems. Mom told me, she's welcome to stay here, but only for a month, then she's on her own. There *are* jobs out there - ya just gotta scrape the barrel sides to find them. And it's worse for Sis: she has absolutely *no* computer skills whatsoever, her spelling and grammer are attrocious (not to mention her penmanship isn't that good either), and she has poor dentistry (missing a front tooth or two, and *refuses* to go to a dentist (bad experiance as a young child), even though Mom has offered to pay). She had to have help to use Wal-Mart's computer-application system. But that's nothing compared to *your* problem. Jill, do you mind me asking what field you used to work in? Just curious. Also, the company my husband works for (Sabin Corporation, part of the Cook Group - http://www.cookgroup.com/index.html is always looking for good reliable help. You might want to check into it and maybe fax in a resume'. Of course, you *would* have to relocate, not necessarily to IN as they have plants in NC, PA, Denmark, Brisbane AUS, Limerick IRE, and another wholly-owned company in Poway CA. They also own a lot of other business here in Bloomington (local antique mall, a B&B, and a property management comany (who recently built a brownstone that the 'penthouse' (it's only about a 4-story building) goes for over $2,000/month). It never hurts to try. --? The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)? email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep >> Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. >> Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Jill, do you mind me asking what field you used to work in? Just > curious. I have extensive experience troubleshooting in Unix but not enough to be considered an Admin in Unix. QA Testing but it was in a proprietary application developed for workers comp, liability and disability claims. Used to be a licensed insurance agent in life, health and AD&D but I've never worked in a "sales" capacity for insurance. Usually a third party claims administration scenario and then software support/testing/development. I hate to say it, but I every headhunter I've talked to has said to me, "Oh, you made over $41K a year?" followed by a great big sigh. Yeah... and they can find some college kid who thinks $16K is the thrill of a lifetime. (sigh) Also, the company my husband works for (Sabin Corporation, > part of the Cook Group - http://www.cookgroup.com/index.html is > always looking for good reliable help. You might want to check into > it and maybe fax in a resume'. Of course, you *would* have to > relocate, not necessarily to IN I have no problem with IN except for the snow! LOL Actually, John is still talking (half seriously) about Napanee. He'd like to find an old barn to convert to a home and studio. as they have plants in NC, PA, > Denmark, Brisbane AUS, Limerick IRE, and another wholly-owned company > in Poway CA. They also own a lot of other business here in > Bloomington (local antique mall, a B&B, and a property management > comany (who recently built a brownstone that the 'penthouse' (it's > only about a 4-story building) goes for over $2,000/month). It never > hurts to try. You're a sweetie, thanks for the suggestions! And rest assured and assure Weebs, Persia will always have the uppermost care, as will my lovebird, Peaches. Jill > --? > The ONE and ONLY > lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy > former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)? email me at > nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com > http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep <SNIP> > I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. > > Jill Jill: Drag.... Dad's can be like that.... My pop has mellowed over the years, but I remember a couple of similar instances... Much yelling, a refusal to help, Followed by a check... And a grumbling demand about 'timeley' re-payment.... Followed a couple of weeks later, by a 'no need to pay me back' phonecall. My Dad was'nt military, he was civil service... Union, job security all that stuff that our generation has a brutally hard time getting, but our parent's don't get why it's soo tough.... Still stuck in the 70's, when good jobs were a dime a dozen & a Batchelor degree got you a GREAT job.... He'll come around...I hope. Good luck... How's the sleep thing going? SignatureMathew Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat En Vino Veritas > <SNIP> >> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > He'll come around...I hope. Good luck... How's the sleep thing going? Thanks, Mathew. It's 2:42 AM - whatcha think? <G> Jill <SNIP> > Thanks, Mathew. It's 2:42 AM - whatcha think? <G> > > Jill It's 12:55 here, & I just got your post... I'm on west coast time. Did you read my response in 'Sleep and Other Purrs Needed'? I listed several othe herbal sleep aids, as it seems you're developing a tolerance for Valerian. Really sorry about your whole financial scene.... Been there, only time in my life I've had full on panic attacks. Hope you're managing to avoid those, If you would like me to re-post the herbal info, lrt me know. It would be my pleasure. Purrs for your stress. " If a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry. If a problem cannot be solved, there is no need to worry " -Zen Proverb SignatureMathew Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat En Vino Veritas > <SNIP> > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > several othe herbal sleep aids, as it seems you're developing a > tolerance for Valerian. I don't think it's so much a tolerance for Valerian as it is just major stress. Herbals can only do so much. I don't remember what you wrote (other than nutmeg will make you sick to your stomach LOL). > Really sorry about your whole financial scene.... Been there, only > time in my life I've had full on panic attacks. Hope you're > managing to avoid those, If you would like me to re-post the herbal > info, lrt me know. It would be my pleasure. Please don't suggest melatonin! That stuff, even 1/2 a tablet, made me so groggy the next day I couldn't function. I take Paxil CR to avoid depression and anxiety (only had a full blown panic attack once in my life, thank god). > Purrs for your stress. > " If a problem can be solved, there is no need to worry. If a problem > cannot be solved, there is no need to worry " -Zen Proverb Thank you. Jill > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. > Don't > get me wrong, I love my father dearly. > > However, mine has just informed me no way in HELL will he help me pay my > bills. <snipped> My heart goes out to you Jill. I can't begin to understand, but you have my purrs and prayers that one of the temp agencies will come up with something *soon*! Sam We're sending you hugs and purrs, hoping that your dad has a change of heart *and* that you find a marvelous job. And money falling from the sky wouldn't hurt. :-) ------ Krista > And money falling from the sky wouldn't hurt. :-) Ooh, how do I get in on that one? Signaturemonique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* "Monique Y. Mudama" <spam@bounceswoosh.org> had some very interesting things to say about Re: Another OT Venting: >> And money falling from the sky wouldn't hurt. :-) >Ooh, how do I get in on that one? If you find out, please let me know? :-) Signature"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding. :-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL > "Monique Y. Mudama" <spam@bounceswoosh.org> had some very interesting > things to say about Re: Another OT Venting: [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > If you find out, please let me know? :-) Sign me up! ;) Jill (snip) Oh dear Jill. It sounds a lot like what my own dad was like about 20 years ago. He has grown up since then, I'm happy to say. My relationship with him is not perfect, esp. as there's a difficult de-facto stepmother in the picture. But it has improved a lot. I can't get over how much your story sounds like my own several years ago. I hope and pray your dad sees the same light soon that my daddy did-- in the absence of that, we're purring for strength and hope for you. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't > get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Jill Hugs, Jill, and I hope something will work out soon with the job situation. Maintain your independence at all costs! Unemployment is a pain, but nobody can make us as nuts as our families. Stroke Persia, and it should lower your stress level. Melissa It's surprising how much our parents can hurt us when we've grown up and are independent. But they still can. I wonder whether your dad might be in the first stages of mental health problems due to his age. It might be so. Please don't cry, Jill, because of your dad. It touches me so. Get rid of the guilt. I did it a while ago and it feels great. I have no guilt any more. Go to the temp agencies and you'll get a job in a week or two, maybe not your dream job, but you'll have some money coming in. Don't contact your dad too often on the phone. He's just going to upset you. Write instead, exactly what you want him to know, and no more. You didn't ask me for advice. LOL! I gave you it anyway! Ah, well, my keyboard ran away with me.. Tweed > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. > Don't [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Jill > It's surprising how much our parents can hurt us when we've grown up > and are independent. But they still can. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Get rid of the guilt. I did it a while ago and it feels great. > I have no guilt any more. Ah, I know... but it took so long for me to get close to him (Mom and I have always been close but I was in my late 20's, early 30's before I really talked with my father, despite the fact that he was around, kinda). But his scorn is hurtful. > Go to the temp agencies and you'll get a job in a week or two, maybe > not your dream job, but you'll have some money coming in. I know... I should, should, will, will. I promise. > Don't contact your dad too often on the phone. He's just going to > upset you. Write instead, exactly what you want him to know, and no > more. I should go back to not answering the phone. Dad won't speak to answering machines <G> But since my LLL and I live so far apart I pick up in case it's him - I don't have caller ID or pay for extra services like that - or a potential job interview request. > You didn't ask me for advice. LOL! I gave you it anyway! Ah, well, > my keyboard ran away with me.. > > Tweed LOL I don't mind advice. It's good advice, thank you. Jill (hugging her big fat kitty) "jmcquown" <jmcquown@bellsouth.net> had some very interesting things to say about Re: Another OT Venting: >I should go back to not answering the phone. Dad won't speak to answering >machines <G> But since my LLL and I live so far apart I pick up in case >it's him - I don't have caller ID or pay for extra services like that - or a >potential job interview request. I've never known prospective employers to be bothered by getting the answering machine. I would assume they think you're out hunting up a job. :-) Signature"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding. :-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL jmcquown wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. > Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > Security at a college, where he was pretty much allowed to act like the > retired officer he is.) I feel for you, I lost my good job a year and a half ago, and then managed to work for 5 months. But have been unemployed for a year, except for a very spotty part time job. So spotty that I may get 7 hours in a 2 week period, or 50 hours. Usually somewhere between 10 to 20 hours. And I have been going everywhere. SignatureDick #1349 "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin Home Page: dickcr.iwarp.com email: dickcr@comcast.net >Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. Don't >get me wrong, I love my father dearly. Sending many hugs and purrs for you. I hope things get better for you to find a good job. But in the meantime you don't need the added stress of family who can't and won't understand your position. Purrs, -- CATherine > Forgive me, particularly Bridget who nearly lost her beloved father. > Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly. <snip> > I'm sitting here crying. I'm going to hug my kitty now. > > Jill Hugs and purrs, Jill. Never give up hope. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. |
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