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(OT) Humor, American Bashing...

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Mathew Kagis - 29 Dec 2004 00:01 GMT
Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem.... It
was origionally preformed by Rick Mercer on a Canadian political humor show
called 'This Hour Has 22 Minutes'.  A couple of references will be a little
out of date as it was aired before the Nov '04 US election.  Hope it makes
you smile.

An Open apology to Americans

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the Unided
States of America.  We haven't been getting along very well recently and for
that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.  He is a moron but, it wasn't nice
of us to point it out.  If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron
shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America.  After all it's not like
you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber.  Just because we have more trees than
you does'nt give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey.  In our defence I guess our excuse
would be that our team was much, much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burned down your White House during the war of 1812. I see
you've rebuilt it.  It's VERY nice.

I'm sorry about your beer.  I know we had nothing to do with your beer but,
we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq.  I mean, when you're going up against
a crazed dictator, you wanna have your freinds by your side.  I realize it
took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that
was different.  Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly
veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Signature

Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

CatNipped - 29 Dec 2004 00:41 GMT
> Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
> ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem.... It
[quoted text clipped - 36 lines]
> veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
> seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Humph!  I resemble that remark!!

No, really, ROTFLOL.

Hugs,

CatNipped

> --
> Mathew
> Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
> En Vino Veritas
CatNipped - 29 Dec 2004 00:49 GMT
Also have to add.  This is probably a usenet record for the longest thread
about politics that has not degenerated to a flame fest.  Aside from some,
maybe, snippy remarks (not excluding myself here), the discussion has been
wonderfully civil and even educational.

Sigh, I *LOVE* rpca!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,

CatNipped
Jo Firey - 29 Dec 2004 01:12 GMT
> Also have to add.  This is probably a usenet record for the longest thread
> about politics that has not degenerated to a flame fest.  Aside from some,
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> CatNipped

I think our group can be proud of ourselves.  For the most part I think we
have all been darn near civilized about the whole thing.  I haven't read it
all, but no one even left the group or threatened to leave the group over it
did they?

Jo
CatNipped - 29 Dec 2004 01:16 GMT
> > Also have to add.  This is probably a usenet record for the longest thread
> > about politics that has not degenerated to a flame fest.  Aside from some,
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
>
> Jo

LOL (poking fun at myself now) or posted saying, tearfully, "OK, if you guys
want me to I'll leave the group now!"

;>

Hugs,

CatNipped
Sam Nash - 29 Dec 2004 04:07 GMT
>> > Also have to add.  This is probably a usenet record for the longest
> thread
[quoted text clipped - 29 lines]
>
> CatNipped

Don't you *dare*.  We need more Sammy stories!
Sam
CatNipped - 29 Dec 2004 14:28 GMT
> Don't you *dare*.  We need more Sammy stories!
> Sam

LOL.  Yep, I guess it is about time for another one.  Well, I plan on taking
down the Christmas tree this weekend and I'm sure Sammy will be there to
"help" for all she's worth!  ;>

Hugs,

CatNipped
Adrian - 30 Dec 2004 14:48 GMT
> LOL (poking fun at myself now) or posted saying, tearfully, "OK, if
> you guys want me to I'll leave the group now!"
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
>
> CatNipped

DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE!! ;-)
Signature

Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
A house is not a home, without a cat.

CatNipped - 30 Dec 2004 18:16 GMT
>> LOL (poking fun at myself now) or posted saying, tearfully, "OK, if
>> you guys want me to I'll leave the group now!"
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE!! ;-)

You would have to drag me out of this group kicking and screaming (picture
trying to shove a cat into a toilet  ;>).  Once I "refound" this wonderful
group of people, I never want to leave again - nowhere else on earth could
you find this much loving, caring, kindness, and *WEIRDNESS*!

Hugs,

CatNipped
Tanada - 30 Dec 2004 23:58 GMT
> You would have to drag me out of this group kicking and screaming (picture
> trying to shove a cat into a toilet  ;>).  Once I "refound" this wonderful
> group of people, I never want to leave again - nowhere else on earth could
> you find this much loving, caring, kindness, and *WEIRDNESS*!

We're not weird, we're just extremely strange and enjoying it.

Pam S. who's really really strange
Adrian - 31 Dec 2004 18:27 GMT
> You would have to drag me out of this group kicking and screaming
> (picture trying to shove a cat into a toilet  ;>).  Once I "refound"
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> CatNipped

I look forward to your next Sammy story, "Cleaning the Toilet With
Mommy" <evil grin>
Signature

Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera)
A house is not a home, without a cat.

Yoj - 29 Dec 2004 01:45 GMT
> Also have to add.  This is probably a usenet record for the longest thread
> about politics that has not degenerated to a flame fest.  Aside from some,
[quoted text clipped - 6 lines]
>
> CatNipped

I agree.  One of my other newsgroups has lost several members because of
political arguments.  A number of us moved to another newsgroup where we vow
never to discuss politics.  I'd rather be able to discuss our differences
without anyone getting too upset, and without anybody resorting to
name-calling or flaming.

This is a great group!

Joy
Sherry - 29 Dec 2004 00:58 GMT
>Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
>ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem.... It
[quoted text clipped - 36 lines]
>veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
>seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

>Mathew

Heh. I had to chuckle on this one.
But turn-about is fair play. Now let me tell you about a pseudo-tourism
billboard photo I saw recently. It said, "Canada! Leading the World in Being
North of the United States."
:-)
Sherry
CatNipped - 29 Dec 2004 01:00 GMT
> Heh. I had to chuckle on this one.
> But turn-about is fair play. Now let me tell you about a pseudo-tourism
> billboard photo I saw recently. It said, "Canada! Leading the World in Being
> North of the United States."
> :-)
> Sherry

ROTFLMAOWTIME!!!

Sorry, Mathew, but that is just too funny!

Hugs,

CatNipped
Howard Berkowitz - 29 Dec 2004 02:16 GMT
> > Heh. I had to chuckle on this one.
> > But turn-about is fair play. Now let me tell you about a pseudo-tourism
[quoted text clipped - 11 lines]
>
> CatNipped

Well, to draw from Canadian popular culture, MacLean's Magazine (roughly
the Canadian equivalent of the US Time Magazine) ran a contest to
complete the phrase, "As Canadian as..."

The winning entry? "As Canadian as it is possible to be under the
circumstances."  

In general, I don't mind being mistaken for an Anglophone Canadian,
except in Quebec.
Mathew Kagis - 29 Dec 2004 01:52 GMT
Signature

Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

> >
> >Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
[quoted text clipped - 46 lines]
> :-)
> Sherry

LOL.....  I LOVE it.
Yoj - 29 Dec 2004 01:45 GMT
> Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
> ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem.... It
[quoted text clipped - 36 lines]
> veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
> seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

This American found it very amusing.  It made me LOL.

Joy
Howard Berkowitz - 29 Dec 2004 02:13 GMT
> Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
> ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem....
[quoted text clipped - 8 lines]
>
> An Open apology to Americans

and a response in the appropriate spirit, although the Canadians May
Come And Get Me. You tend to be nervous about USAians that know too much
about Canada. I'm well aware (and please don't confuse me with the
reorganization) that Canada long had the world's best counterspies. Any
counterspy that can follow a guy in a trenchcoat, while wearing a red
suit and riding a horse, has to be good.

> On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the
> Unided
[quoted text clipped - 9 lines]
> like
> you actually elected him.

I appreciate the expert evaluation. Any nation that had Stockwell Day
rise to prominence certainly should be well-qualified to recognize
morons. :-)

On the other hand, there is no comparison, sadly, between presidential
press conferences and Question Period.

> I'm sorry about our softwood lumber.  Just because we have more trees
> than
> you does'nt give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and
> better
> than your own.

You know, something could be said about soft and wood, but it would be
inappropriate for a family newsgroup.

> I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey.  In our defence I guess our
> excuse
> would be that our team was much, much, much, much, much better than
> yours.

I suppose it's a question of national priorities. We reserve our most
violent players for drive-by shootings.  See observation below about the
main street along the Rideau Canal.

Sport is complex. We never had an Olympic champion that attempted to
smoke the leaf on a flag.

> I'm sorry we burned down your White House during the war of 1812. I see
> you've rebuilt it.  It's VERY nice.

In all fairness, even though I live in the Washington DC metro area, the
immediate area of Parliament Hill is much superior to the security and
bureaucratic zone around the White House. I'm trying to think what we
could trade for Byward Market.

On the other hand, Pennsylvania Avenue sounds better than Colonel By
Drive (along the canal), not to be confused with a drive-by.

We, at least, were able to name our capital city before you did. Maybe
we would have burned something, but the troops didn't know to go to
Bytown.

> I'm sorry about your beer.  I know we had nothing to do with your beer
> but,
> we feel your pain.

I can't really argue there, at least for mass market. On the other hand,
you provide poutine as a quick way to clog one's arteries to a point
that the taste of beer becomes irrelevant.

> I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq.  I mean, when you're going up
> against
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> that
> was different.  Everyone knew he had weapons.

See? It wasn't an intelligence challenge...not necessarily to be
confused with intelligence agencies.

> And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
> apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
> thinly
> veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  
> We've
> seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Passive-aggressive is indeed correct. When your invaders include Leslie
Nielsen, Pamela Anderson, and William Shatner...
Mathew Kagis - 29 Dec 2004 02:44 GMT
<blatant snipping>..<To be followed by semi-random snipping throughout the
rest of this post>

> > An Open apology to Americans
>
[quoted text clipped - 4 lines]
> counterspy that can follow a guy in a trenchcoat, while wearing a red
> suit and riding a horse, has to be good.

...Thank you kindly...:-)

> I appreciate the expert evaluation. Any nation that had Stockwell Day
> rise to prominence certainly should be well-qualified to recognize
> morons. :-)

.... Stockwell's not a moron, he's just sleazy!  Kinda like Rush Limbaugh,
but without his own show.

> On the other hand, there is no comparison, sadly, between presidential
> press conferences and Question Period.

<Censor board edited any chance of talking about 'soft' & 'wood'>

> > I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey.  In our defence I guess our
> > excuse
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> Sport is complex. We never had an Olympic champion that attempted to
> smoke the leaf on a flag.

....LOL, what got me about that is the simple fact that pot is NOT
preformance enhancing... Ross should have been given a 30 sec credit on his
course time for the cannibus-hadicap.

> > I'm sorry we burned down your White House during the war of 1812. I see
> > you've rebuilt it.  It's VERY nice.
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> bureaucratic zone around the White House. I'm trying to think what we
> could trade for Byward Market.

..... Time Square?...no, wait, we don't want it... How about North Beach in
Sanfrancisco?

> We, at least, were able to name our capital city before you did. Maybe
> we would have burned something, but the troops didn't know to go to
> Bytown.

.... Now, now... I know you're sensitive about loosing 1812. But you're
oppurtunities to burn anything of ours during that war were few & far
between. Your troops were FAR too busy having their butts kicked by guys
with red coats & horses.

> > I'm sorry about your beer.  I know we had nothing to do with your beer
> > but,
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> you provide poutine as a quick way to clog one's arteries to a point
> that the taste of beer becomes irrelevant.
...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.

> > And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
> > apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
> Passive-aggressive is indeed correct. When your invaders include Leslie
> Nielsen, Pamela Anderson, and William Shatner...

....HEY!!! Don't forget: Jim Carey, Micheal J. Fox & Keanu Reeves (sorry
about that too).  You would'nt happen to want Celene Dion, would you?  We'd
take Tom Ridge off your hands in return.

Signature

Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

Howard Berkowitz - 29 Dec 2004 02:55 GMT
> ...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
> Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.

Well, there I can point to similarities, according to friends in, or
previously resident, in more remote areas of BC.

           Canada (West/rural)               USA

Has don't ask, don't tell. Refers   Has don't ask, don't tell. Refers
to ownership of firearms needed     to activities typically involving
to deal with marauding bears.       being bare.

.....

Returning to Western politics, at least the Alliance schism led to
unusual political honesty, until someone in authority noticed the
acronym produced by the name of the new Canadian Conservative Reformed
Alliance Party.

Canada is a country of interesting political regions. There are distinct
Western positions. There is the role of Ontario. We can skip over
Quebec.  The Maritimes have an ever-increasing comic approach to
politics, culminating with Newfies.

Saskatchewan and Manitoba have the principal political purpose of
keeping the East and West from sliding into one another.
Mathew Kagis - 29 Dec 2004 03:18 GMT
> > ...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
> > Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.
[quoted text clipped - 7 lines]
> to ownership of firearms needed     to activities typically involving
> to deal with marauding bears.       being bare.

LOL... In the USA, you have the right to bear arms..In Canada, we have the
right to arm bears. (it evens the odds)

> Returning to Western politics, at least the Alliance schism led to
> unusual political honesty, until someone in authority noticed the
> acronym produced by the name of the new Canadian Conservative Reformed
> Alliance Party.

.....*Sigh*... Ahh the rampant right wingers of Alberta (I'm in the BC
mountains, by the way)....  As long as they're making all that oil money,
they'll continue to make Newt Gingrich look like Al Gore.

> Canada is a country of interesting political regions. There are distinct
> Western positions. There is the role of Ontario. We can skip over
[quoted text clipped - 3 lines]
> Saskatchewan and Manitoba have the principal political purpose of
> keeping the East and West from sliding into one another.
... A tradition proudly begun by Louis Riel, who hated all other Canadians
equally.

laughing while I type
Mathew
SUQKRT - 29 Dec 2004 20:01 GMT
>> > ...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
>> > Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.
[quoted text clipped - 33 lines]
>laughing while I type
>Mathew

I think I'm too short this is all going over my head.
Suz
Macmoosette
=^..^=   =^..^=   =^..^=   =^..^=  =^..^=  =^..^=

    "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life."
    --Faith Resnick

|\__/|
(=':'=)
(")_(")
Cheryl Perkins - 29 Dec 2004 20:25 GMT
> I think I'm too short this is all going over my head.
> Suz
>  Macmoosette

It makes perfect sense if you know Canadian history, geography and
politics.

In an ultra-simplified form, region is all-important in all categories, so
most of what I snipped was about the differences among regions.

Riel....dunno if I want to get into his story. I was grown up before I
realized that in some parts of the country he was considered a hero and
martyr rather than a traitor and murderer. I adjusted to that idea fairly
easily because I was used to politics in which the same person is put into
two such different categories by different people. Riel led the Riel
Rebellion, which broke out over conflicting land claims by the Metis
(descended from French and Native people) and the federal government. He
was hanged for his part in the Rebellion, and Canadians have been arguing
about him ever since.

Riel did spend some time in the US, though, so maybe he should be
mentioned in a thread about Americans. Maybe he should have stayed in the
US, but hey, he was brave as well as a hero, martyr, traitor, possibly
mentally ill. etc.

Signature

Cheryl

Howard Berkowitz - 31 Dec 2004 21:31 GMT
> In an ultra-simplified form, region is all-important in all categories,
> so
> most of what I snipped was about the differences among regions.

And so it is in the US as well. I have an informal test of the latitude,
by asking a local what they call the activities between 1861 and 1865.  
   New England: "The War to Free the Slaves"
   New York, Pennsylvania, etc. "The Civil War"
   Genteel parts of Virginia "The Unpleasantness between the States"
   Deep South: "The War of Yankee Aggression"
Cheryl Perkins - 29 Dec 2004 13:31 GMT
>> ...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
>> Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.

Poutine has escaped from Quebec, if it hasn't yet reached western Canada.
No, I don't eat it, since I prefer other heart-attack-inducing foods, but
it can be obtained in nearly any establishment that sells deep-fried foods
and gravy. Well, not the ones that sell such things *separately* of
course, and not the ones that call gravy 'sauce' and take all the fat out
of it.

> Returning to Western politics, at least the Alliance schism led to
> unusual political honesty, until someone in authority noticed the
> acronym produced by the name of the new Canadian Conservative Reformed
> Alliance Party.

I loved that. Where else would a political party announce its new name
*before* checking to see if the acronym spelled anything?

> Canada is a country of interesting political regions. There are distinct
> Western positions. There is the role of Ontario. We can skip over
> Quebec.  The Maritimes have an ever-increasing comic approach to
> politics, culminating with Newfies.

Hey, We aren't part of the Maritimes, we're part of the Atlantic
Provinces! It's one of those obscure geographic facts, something like the
distinction between England and the UK. Only different. And we take
politics very seriously here, well, all aspects of politics except
ideological differences. I think this confuses westerners, who expect
people who call themselves 'Conservatives' to actually hold similar
political positions as western Conservatives. And anyway, a lot of us are
Liberals, even though our positions on various issues may be all over the
political map, and we also make a strong distinction between federal and
provincial politics, so being Conservative, or Liberal or NDP or Other
provincially doesn't mean you are the same federally.

Our politics haven't been nearly as funny since John Crosbie retired. I
opposed almost every political position he endorsed, but I respected him a
lot, and he was really funny. Not always PC, of course, but funny.

> Saskatchewan and Manitoba have the principal political purpose of
> keeping the East and West from sliding into one another.

I'll mention that to my sister in Manitoba. She says they don't take
politics nearly as seriously there as they do here. Maybe that's why.

Signature

Cheryl

Howard Berkowitz - 29 Dec 2004 15:32 GMT
> >> ...As a Western Canadian I cannot defend, understand or lay claim to
> >> Poutine.  The quebecois.... well they've got unique eating habbits.
[quoted text clipped - 14 lines]
> I loved that. Where else would a political party announce its new name
> *before* checking to see if the acronym spelled anything?

And it's not like that before the split, they didn't have a few spelling
problems. Someone didn't proofread a piece of literature, and thousands
were printed before it was noticed that the material was promoting the
Canadian Appliance Party.  A toaster with every vote?

I can't say the country to the south is immune, with some of the most
notable examples being slogans announced before someone tried to put the
acronym on a button:

    Kennedy Administration:  War on Poverty
    Ford Administration:     Stop Inflation Now
    and, to bring things on topic,
    Carter Administration:   [Inflation] Moral Equivalent Of War

> > Canada is a country of interesting political regions. There are
> > distinct
[quoted text clipped - 13 lines]
> provincial politics, so being Conservative, or Liberal or NDP or Other
> provincially doesn't mean you are the same federally.

Oh, of course! I should have been more specific. After all, when at
least one province's Liberals aren't, and Progressive Conservative,
aside from being an oxymoron, tends to be comprehensible only with the
assistance of mind affecting drugs...

One of those bits of trivia that stumps most Americans, and more than a
few Canadians, is assuming Newfoundland has always been part of
(political) Canada.

> Our politics haven't been nearly as funny since John Crosbie retired. I
> opposed almost every political position he endorsed, but I respected him
> a
> lot, and he was really funny. Not always PC, of course, but funny.

See your problems? You have to stop and figure out if someone is
Politically Correct, Progressive Conservative, or both, if the latter is
possible.

> > Saskatchewan and Manitoba have the principal political purpose of
> > keeping the East and West from sliding into one another.
>
> I'll mention that to my sister in Manitoba. She says they don't take
> politics nearly as seriously there as they do here. Maybe that's why.
Cheryl Perkins - 29 Dec 2004 17:25 GMT
>> lot, and he was really funny. Not always PC, of course, but funny.

> See your problems? You have to stop and figure out if someone is
> Politically Correct, Progressive Conservative, or both, if the latter is
> possible.

I'd like to say I put that pun in there deliberately, but I'm afraid I
can't!

Actually, in the true tradition of Canadian politics, John Crosbie was not
always a Conservative (Progressive or otherwise), even by our definitions
(plural intended here) of the term. He was, at one time, a provincial
Liberal until he split with Premier Joey because he (John) was shocked
and appalled at Joey's umm, controversial financial policies or because he
(also John) wanted and failed to replace the Only Living Father of
Confederation as Premier. Either way, Crosbie went on to a great federal
career as a Conservative.

Signature

Cheryl

Howard Berkowitz - 29 Dec 2004 19:45 GMT
> >> lot, and he was really funny. Not always PC, of course, but funny.
>
[quoted text clipped - 16 lines]
> Confederation as Premier. Either way, Crosbie went on to a great federal
> career as a Conservative.

Your description of the true tradition of Canadian politics is very much
on topic. Defining individual politicians' behavior, much less
organizing a clear party position that is consistent with its name, is
the moral equivalent of herding cats.  

Nay, herding cats is too weak. Having cats march in formation, keeping
cadence with all paws and waving tails in synchronized arcs.
Stormin Mormon - 30 Dec 2004 21:25 GMT
There is considerable truth to this. The folks in the US have some strange
habits which ened to be examined a bit more seriously. We have the strange
habit of preserving the environment, refraining from dumping large ammounts
of chemicals into the wild. We have a habit of building safety into things,
like cars, and baby seats for cars. We do have an unusual belief in having
something called "elections" where the citizens choose thier leaders. We
even have as many as four or five candidates running for a particular
office. And our voting is for a wide assortment of elected offices, from
President to Dog Catcher. We are fascinating in our belief that citizens
have a God given right to keep and bear arms. Including rifles, shotguns,
and pistols. As a result of gun ownership, we have low rates of crime in
most areas, except places liek Washington DC and New York city where only
the government and criminals are armed. We have a strange belief in
religious freedom. Where folks from religions  like Muslims can practice
freely. Or Catholics. we have a strange belief that the common man is good,
responsible,and can make his own decisions. We are also fascinated by
gadgets. US folks have made all kinds of things like medical advances,
technology, telephone, television, cellular telephones, and other such
gadgets. We also do some strange things like sending foreign aid, and
exporting large ammounts of grain and other food. Whcih we have grown, in
our market based competition driven economy.

Yep, we are surely some strange folks.

Signature

Christopher A. Young
This space intentionally left blank
    www.lds.org
    www.mormons.com

Well, Purrs to CatNipped for instigating one of the LONGEST threads I've
ever seen in a NG.  Just to lighten the mood I dug up this little gem.... It
was origionally preformed by Rick Mercer on a Canadian political humor show
called 'This Hour Has 22 Minutes'.  A couple of references will be a little
out of date as it was aired before the Nov '04 US election.  Hope it makes
you smile.

An Open apology to Americans

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the Unided
States of America.  We haven't been getting along very well recently and for
that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron.  He is a moron but, it wasn't nice
of us to point it out.  If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron
shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America.  After all it's not like
you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber.  Just because we have more trees than
you does'nt give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better
than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey.  In our defence I guess our excuse
would be that our team was much, much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burned down your White House during the war of 1812. I see
you've rebuilt it.  It's VERY nice.

I'm sorry about your beer.  I know we had nothing to do with your beer but,
we feel your pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq.  I mean, when you're going up against
a crazed dictator, you wanna have your freinds by your side.  I realize it
took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that
was different.  Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly
apologising for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly
veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Signature

Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

Yoj - 30 Dec 2004 22:22 GMT
We aren't the only ones who do most of those things, and our current
government is not particularly concerned with preserving the environment.

Joy

> There is considerable truth to this. The folks in the US have some strange
> habits which ened to be examined a bit more seriously. We have the strange
[quoted text clipped - 60 lines]
> veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
> seen what you do to countries you get upset with.
Mathew Kagis - 30 Dec 2004 22:38 GMT
> We aren't the only ones who do most of those things, and our current
> government is not particularly concerned with preserving the environment.
>
> Joy

> > Yep, we are surely some strange folks.

.....Then there's that whole 'Patriot Act' thing...  Which brings into
question the whole 'Freedom of speech & democracy thing...'

 I'n the USA you may have ther right to bear arms, but in Canada, we have
the right to arm bears.... It evens the odds.
Signature

Mathew
Butler to 2 kittens: Chablis & Muscat
En Vino Veritas

Howard Berkowitz - 31 Dec 2004 00:27 GMT
Might I suggest we respect the humor in this thread title? There are
others for bashing.

BW is fine, but avoid PW.
Stormin Mormon - 31 Dec 2004 03:17 GMT
oh, gosh. It's no fun without bashing. Hang on, let me get a good windup
and......YOU'RE A FRIEKIING IDIOT!!!!!! whew, that felt better.

Signature

Christopher A. Young
This space intentionally left blank
    www.lds.org
    www.mormons.com

Might I suggest we respect the humor in this thread title? There are
others for bashing.

BW is fine, but avoid PW.
Cheryl Perkins - 30 Dec 2004 23:11 GMT
> There is considerable truth to this. The folks in the US have some strange
> habits which ened to be examined a bit more seriously.

<snip>
> Yep, we are surely some strange folks.

Actually, every Western country, and probably a few that aren't do and are
every single one of those 'strange' things except for the guns and voting
for dog-catchers.

So how, except for the guns and dog-catchers, did that list distinguish
the US from the rest of us?

Signature

Cheryl

Sherry - 05 Jan 2005 05:08 GMT
>There is considerable truth to this. The folks in the US have some strange
>habits which ened to be examined a bit more seriously. We have the strange
[quoted text clipped - 60 lines]
>veiled criticism.  I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this.  We've
>seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

I'm still looking for smiley face :-)

Sherry
 
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