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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / December 2004My cats want me in jail.
So here I am at airport security about to fly to Ontario, and the lady asks to search my carry on. "You wouldn't have a pair of pliers in here, would you?" Me: "OF course not. It's books, socks, some toiletries, mitts and scarf, some Transformers...go ahead and look all you want, there's nothing to find." Bag gets searched, then run through the X-ray again. Something still looks shifty in there. Everything gets removed. And...UNDER the bottom of the carry on....the bottom is pried up and there is... ...yes... ...a f***ing pair of pliers. WTF?! DP and I are gaping at each other as the security guards cluster around. He recovers first, and chokes out, "How did THAT get in there?" And I think: Suitcases are kept beside old bar fridge Toolbox is on top of bar fridge Kitties knocked over toolbox when playing in closet... ...and I cough... ...omg...bad...kitties.... *** They kept my pliers and let us go. Frankly I can't believe they let us on the plane after finding pliers hidden under the panel at the bottom of my carry on, that I denied having. Apparently Nocturne felt that if SHE had to spend five days incarcerated at the kennel, I ought to spend the vacation incarcerated as well.... --Fil, still stunned by this one Oh my goodness. BAD kitties! LOL. That was a close call. > So here I am at airport security about to fly to Ontario, and the lady > asks to search my carry on. [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > --Fil, still stunned by this one ummm, Fil, forgive me, please...but ROFLOL!! Crafty little critters aren't they? Julie Since the airport personnel DID let you onto the plane and no lasting harm was done, I have to second Julie's sentiment. LOL!!! Nonetheless, I sympathize. I wouldn't have wanted to have to explain that my cat ummmmm, packed the pliers, for me..." Melissa > Since the airport personnel DID let you onto the plane and no lasting > harm was done, I have to second Julie's sentiment. LOL!!! Nonetheless, > I sympathize. I wouldn't have wanted to have to explain that my cat > ummmmm, packed the pliers, for me..." > > Melissa I can hear it now...Did anyone put anything into your luggage without your permission? Wel-l-l-l, I think my cat may have added something. She's such a little terrorist... Pam S. giggling I think it's funny NOW... "Do you know what's in your bag, ma'am?" "Well, i THOUGHT I did...." --Fil, with Smokey, Kumani, Tyche, and Osama Bin Nocturne? > Since the airport personnel DID let you onto the plane and no lasting > harm was done, I have to second Julie's sentiment. LOL!!! Nonetheless, > I sympathize. I wouldn't have wanted to have to explain that my cat > ummmmm, packed the pliers, for me..." > > Melissa >I think it's funny NOW... > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > --Fil, with Smokey, Kumani, Tyche, and Osama Bin Nocturne? Oh, don't get me on about airports. Coming back from visiting my German friend last year, she had only just left me to go into the part she couldn't accompany me when I got stopped and body searched by a woman who might have eaten children for breakfast and refused to speak English to me. My German is, well, poor. I got the idea however, that she wanted to search me which she proceeded to do. I had to turn out my pockets and explain everything that was in there. I had trousers on with turn-ups and the turn-ups were searched. LOL! What was in them was sand, where I'd been the soil was almost pure sand. The sand was turned out onto the floor and examined. What for I'm not sure. I must have looked very suspicious! N was very annoyed when I told her, not because I was searched but because Godzilla insisted on speaking only German to me, even though I told her I couldn't understand it much. Apparently she needs to speak fluent English to work at the airport, so she just chose not to. Hah. What's that about, then? Tweed > >I think it's funny NOW... > > [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > German > to me, even though I told her I couldn't understand it much. Perhaps the ultimate answer was given to a German air traffic controller, as a British Air pilot requested extra taxi instructions. Controller: "Why don't you know where to go? Have you never been to Frankfurt before?" Pilot: "Well, yes, actually. It was 1944, but I didn't land." >>> I think it's funny NOW... >>> [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > Pilot: "Well, yes, actually. It was 1944, but I didn't land." ROFL!!! And with good reason. Jill > Apparently Nocturne felt that if SHE had to spend five days > incarcerated at the kennel, I ought to spend the vacation > incarcerated as well.... > > --Fil, still stunned by this one LOL Sorry! I'm glad you made it through. Have a safe and happy holiday!  SignatureCheryl >Frankly I can't believe they let us on the plane after finding pliers >hidden under the panel at the bottom of my carry on, that I denied >having. I went to Hawaii for Christmas a few years ago. I got a huge scuba knife from my boyfriend for Christmas the night before which I packed. I didn't want to take it but he was going with me on the trip so I "had to." I could have sworn I put it in my check-in luggage and not carry on. Of course I get stopped trying to board and they pull out this enormous knife in my carryon. They looked at me like I was a mass murderer. I explained what must have happened. They made me go check it in at oversized luggage. Well, that's also where they check in animals. A woman was checking in a large poodle to Virginia at the same time and I'm like "I'm going to miss my plane. Just take this thing and give me a receipt." The guy takes the knife and just hands me a claim ticket. I finally get to Hawaii and I'm waiting for my knife at oversized luggage. I'm still waiting for my knife when the poodle comes out. I check the number. Yep, they got the poodle mixed up with the knife. I felt horrible. I told the person. The dog had to wait a day to catch a flight to LAX then to Virginia. I wonder what the woman thought when they handed her a huge knife in a box in Virginia? They mailed me back the knife weeks later. >>Frankly I can't believe they let us on the plane after finding pliers >>hidden under the panel at the bottom of my carry on, that I denied [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > wonder what the woman thought when they handed her a huge knife in a box in > Virginia? They mailed me back the knife weeks later. OMG! I know I shouldn't ... but LOL! I would love to see a picture of your face when the poodle was delivered to you rather than the knife. Oh that poor woman! I know she had to have been frantic. Julie <still chuckling >>> Frankly I can't believe they let us on the plane after finding >>> pliers [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Julie <still chuckling> I know! It's pretty funny but that poor woman undoubtedly panicked. Has anyone here ever transported a pet like "baggage"? Seems to me the belly of a plane must get mighty cold at 30,000 feet. Jill > I know! It's pretty funny but that poor woman undoubtedly > panicked. Has anyone here ever transported a pet like > "baggage"? Seems to me the belly of a plane must get mighty > cold at 30,000 feet. When I was a kid we transported our dog in some sort of pet cargo area (I think back then it was the only way.) He (a beagle) broke out of his crate and got into the baggage cargo area, and I can remember people saying they were surprised he survived because of the freezing temps. SignatureCheryl >> I know! It's pretty funny but that poor woman undoubtedly >> panicked. Has anyone here ever transported a pet like [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > people saying they were surprised he survived because of the freezing > temps. So they have a separate section for pets? I've never inquired because I can only imagine having to do this if I ever have to move a long distance away. Driving any great distance terrifies me if I'm alone. Jill > I know! It's pretty funny but that poor woman undoubtedly panicked. Has > anyone here ever transported a pet like "baggage"? Seems to me the belly of > a plane must get mighty cold at 30,000 feet. Haven't done it myself, but I know someone who has several times (Helen - where are you?!). Pets and other livestock are transported in a pressurised, heated section of the hold. The pet carrier ('Vari kennel or 'Sky kennel') must be large, strong, secure and up to strict airline regs before they will allow the animal to fly. Deb. Signaturehttp://www.scientific-art.com "He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would; He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield > > I know! It's pretty funny but that poor woman undoubtedly panicked. Has > > anyone here ever transported a pet like "baggage"? Seems to me the belly of [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > or 'Sky kennel') must be large, strong, secure and up to strict airline > regs before they will allow the animal to fly. There is no special area for pets. The whole cargo hold is always pressurized and heated. It's just standard nowadays. Otherwise people's toiletries would freeze, etc. I don't think it's as warm as the cabin, but it's just about room temperature. -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > There is no special area for pets. The whole cargo hold is always > pressurized and heated. It's just standard nowadays. Otherwise > people's toiletries would freeze, etc. I don't think it's as warm as > the cabin, but it's just about room temperature. OK - that's good to know actually! Deb. Signaturehttp://www.scientific-art.com "He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would; He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield > Apparently Nocturne felt that if SHE had to spend five days > incarcerated at the kennel, I ought to spend the vacation incarcerated > as well.... LOL! I can just see Nocturne rubbing her little paws together and going heeheeheehee. SignatureMarina, Frank and Nikki marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki > And...UNDER the bottom of the carry on....the bottom is pried up and > there is... > ...yes... > ...a f***ing pair of pliers. "Was your luggage at any time under someone else's control?" :) Joyce Fil wrote: >So here I am at airport security about to fly to Ontario, and the lady >asks to search my carry on. ---------------------<snip>---------------------- My DH was just about to go through the security checkpoint one time to meet an incoming flight and suddenly remembered the miniature .22 caliber derringer she had tucked into her ample bra. "Oh, darn!" she exclaimed as she snapped her fingers in a pantomime of someone who has forgotten something in the car. Good thing she remembered. That was long before 9-11, but it would not have been funny to the checkpoint personnel. Regards and Purrs, O J > Fil wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Regards and Purrs, > O J I have to wonder why she had a .22 tucked in her bra? Jill Jill wrote: >> Fil wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >> >I have to wonder why she had a .22 tucked in her bra? Two reasons. 1: It fit perfectly. 2: She used to be a bartender and closed up after 2:00 AM so she felt safer with one, and if you're going to carry, you might as well make it a habit. You can see one here: http://www.oegmag.com/NorthAmericanArmsrevolvers.asp Regards and Purrs, O J > Two reasons. 1: It fit perfectly. 2: She used to be a bartender and > closed up after 2:00 AM so she felt safer with one, and if you're > going to carry, you might as well make it a habit. You can see one > here: http://www.oegmag.com/NorthAmericanArmsrevolvers.asp > Regards and Purrs, > O J Was she planning on stripping down to her bra if the bar got so rowdy she needed a gun? I can think of lots of more comfortable and practical places to carry a gun, should I ever feel inclined to do so! SignatureCheryl >> Two reasons. 1: It fit perfectly. 2: She used to be a bartender and >> closed up after 2:00 AM so she felt safer with one, and if you're [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] >needed a gun? I can think of lots of more comfortable and practical places >to carry a gun, should I ever feel inclined to do so! I would have been happier had she carried her airweight S&W bodyguard model, but it was her choice to carry the little one. Since she always wore blouses that buttoned, it was a simple matter to reach into her bra and I never claimed it was a fast-draw rig. She has (or at least she used to) the street sense to see trouble coming. The fastest draw is already having your piece in your hand when you need it. You could palm the little thing (I hope you looked at the web site) with no one the wiser should the potential trouble evaporate. Regards and Purrs, O J > They kept my pliers and let us go. > > Frankly I can't believe they let us on the plane after finding pliers > hidden under the panel at the bottom of my carry on, that I denied > having. PLIERS? Just normal-sized pliers? What possible threat could THEY be? At least the half-inch nail file, which they made me detach from my pocket nail-clippers and discard, had a POINT (although how much damage something that size and degree of flimsiness could do is debatable). Enfilade (decepticoncommand@hotmail.com) wrote in <7236c7c2.0412221114.3dda234e@posting.google.com> on Wednesday 22 December 2004 2:14 pm in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes: > So here I am at airport security about to fly to Ontario, and the lady > asks to search my carry on. > > "You wouldn't have a pair of pliers in here, would you?" <snip> > --Fil, still stunned by this one Standard Security-Check Exchange: Guard (semi-aggressive): "Are you carrying any weapons?" YT (snappy and at semi-attention: "Only the most dangerous weapon on Earth - a /free/ /mind!/ Nothing more." That always stops 'em cold. The looks on their faces are always so precious! To remove the described weaponry from its container defeats the purpose of the exercise in the first place, of course. So far, they can take away just about anything except /that/ little all-important item. (Just be /quite/ certain there are no little "hardware surprises" in the baggage to Get Made Wrong thereby.) Purrs to Kitty Nocturne; sorry for the loss of your pliers. I think the world is again going mad for a while. SignatureReverend Pastor Charlene Mann (ULC) First Peoples' Church of the Forbidden Truth A Global Funny Hat Medicine Society affiliate "Lots less Guns. Lots more Roses. One less Bush. All better now!" |
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