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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / December 2004Tips for Holiday Eating (OT)
I "borrowed this" and maybe you've seen it. My apologies if you have. 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards. 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Jill >I "borrowed this" and maybe you've seen it. My apologies if you have. (snip) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Reminds me of my graduate school days, when December was one long Visigoth raid on one department party after another. ;) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com >> I "borrowed this" and maybe you've seen it. My apologies if you >> have. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Reminds me of my graduate school days, when December was one long > Visigoth raid on one department party after another. ;) Of course there are the in-office pot-lucks. You ever work or go to school with the one guy who could sniff out food wherever it was but never manage to actually *bring* anything? I think they rent him out from location to location ;) Jill > Theresa > Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh > My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > Of course there are the in-office pot-lucks. You ever work or go to school > with the one guy who could sniff out food wherever it was but never manage > to actually *bring* anything? I think they rent him out from location to > location ;) Waitaminute, I *am* that guy! Actually, I always either forget about the potluck or am too busy to make anything. So I don't attend until somebody inevitably comes by in a half hour or so with a pile of food on their plate. They ask why I'm not at the potluck, I explain that I didn't contribute, and invariably they tell me that there's way more food than anyone can eat, so please help myself. I never go there straight away, though; I always wait for that invite, and if it doesn't come, that's fine, too. I like the idea of a potluck; I just don't seem to be any good at the execution.  Signaturemonique, who is sometimes allowed to pet Oscar, a grey DLH with an attitude! > I "borrowed this" and maybe you've seen it. My apologies if you have. > [quoted text clipped - 53 lines] > > Jill These are the kind of Holiday eating tips I like. Take that, Dr. Atkins! =o) Melissa > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory > celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some > standards. LOL!!! There's a joke about how there's really only one fruitcake in the entire world - it just keeps getting sent from person to person as a gift. Nobody has actually eaten it. Joyce > > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory > > celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >Joyce My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. Sherry > My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe > that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. LOL! Now we know where all the fruitcakes in the world end up. SignatureMarina, Frank and Nikki marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki > > My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe > > that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. > > LOL! Now we know where all the fruitcakes in the world end up. We knew that already... they end up in RPCA ;) (grins, ducks, runs...) Al. >My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe >that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. I'm actually quite fond of it myself. Especially if it's been soaking in rum or brandy for a month or so. Regards, O J >>My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe >>that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. > I'm actually quite fond of it myself. Especially if it's been soaking > in rum or brandy for a month or so. I like some fruitcake. There's one light fruitcake recipe that I won't make because I eat it all, and I really don't need an entire fruitcake's worth of calories. It's a light one, but slightly unusual in having more nuts and fruit and less batter than average. SignatureCheryl Cheryl Perkins <cperkins@mun.ca> had some very interesting things to say about Re: Tips for Holiday Eating (OT): >I like some fruitcake. There's one light fruitcake recipe that I won't >make because I eat it all, and I really don't need an entire fruitcake's >worth of calories. It's a light one, but slightly unusual in having more >nuts and fruit and less batter than average. Sounds pretty good, actually, as long as it doesn't have those citrus peels in it [YUCK!]. Signature"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding. :-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL >>>My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe >>>that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > worth of calories. It's a light one, but slightly unusual in having more > nuts and fruit and less batter than average. That sounds nice. My sister sometimes makes a fruitcake for Yule. Any chance of the recipe? I'll troll you for it. ;o) SignatureMarina, Frank and Nikki marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki >>>>My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe >>>>that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >That sounds nice. My sister sometimes makes a fruitcake for Yule. Any >chance of the recipe? I'll troll you for it. ;o) Actually, I have the ultimate fruitcake recipe. I'd publish it, but there's a curse on it. My neighbor Doris, who I've written about in relation to her cat Tootie who goes walking with Doris around the neighborhood, got from an aunt who died shortly after giving her the recipe. Her aunt got it from her Doris' grandmother's sister who died shortly after giving up the recipe. Doris tempted fate in giving the recipe to my DH and so far is showing no ill signs other than the normal wear and tear that overtakes us all. It's a light for a fruitcake, although full-flavored. People who swear they don't like fruitcake ask for seconds. Since the curse may have been broken, perhaps DH would part with it if there's any interest. There are two problems with it though. First, they tend to disappear around the cook's house as children and spouses figure that as long as someone has the oven fired up, how much more trouble can it be to make just one more. The other is that people have a thing about fruit cakes and tend to ignore them as a holiday treat. The pieces are best served after a Christmas or Chanukah dinner with a little powdered sugar dusted over them. Add coffee and brandy for the perfect after-dinner treat. Regards and Purrs, O J >Actually, I have the ultimate fruitcake recipe. I'd publish it, but >there's a curse on it. I think you should post the recipe. :) > That sounds nice. My sister sometimes makes a fruitcake for Yule. Any > chance of the recipe? I'll troll you for it. ;o) No problem. I could have sworn I typed the recipe out for one of my own sisters, but if I did, the file's vanished. I'll track it down on the weekend. I know there's a paper copy in my battered old collection of recipes, even though I am really not going to make it this year. Really, I'm not. I get plenty of holiday calories without having that fruitcake in the house just calling out to me! SignatureCheryl > That sounds nice. My sister sometimes makes a fruitcake for Yule. Any > chance of the recipe? I'll troll you for it. ;o) I don't have a name on it; it's almost an old family recipe since my mother got it from an aunt. We always called it 'That one Aunt gave us' or 'That one with the nuts'. 8 oz dried apricots 3/4 lb whole Brazil nuts 1 c. drained red and green cherries 3/4 cup flour 1/2 tsp baking powder 3 eggs 8 oz pitted dates 1/3 lb chopped candied pineapple 3/4 cup sugar 1/2 tsp salt 1 1/2 tsp vanilla Heat oven 1o 300 degrees; line 9 x 5 x 3 (or 8 1/2 by 4 1/2 by 2 1/2) loaf pan with well-greased foil. Leaving apricots, dates, cherries and nuts whole, mix all ingredients thoroughly. Spread mixture evenly in pan. Bake 1 hour 45 minutes or until wooden pick comes out clean. If necessary, cover with foil for the last 30 minutes to prevent excessive browning. Remove from pan, cool, wrap in foil, and store in a cool place. SignatureCheryl >>That sounds nice. My sister sometimes makes a fruitcake for Yule. Any >>chance of the recipe? I'll troll you for it. ;o) [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > 'That one with the nuts'. > <snip> Thank you, Cheryl. I'ved filed that under my rpca recipes. SignatureMarina, Frank and Nikki marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki > > > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory > > > celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Sherry There *is* a basis for all the jokes about fruitcake; for some reason lots of the commercially sold fruitcakes and many of the ones people make are pretty bad. My guess is that it's largely due to the quality of the ingredients used. I *have* had fruitcake that was just great. There used to be a desert restaurant here that sold a fruitcake around Christmas that was absolutely yummy; it was soaked in Jack Daniels. You had to order it about four months in advance. Unfortunately, the restaurant's owners decided to retire, so it's not available anymore. I've also occasionally (although not very often) had homemade fruitcake that was very good. If you want to buy a commercial product resembling fruitcake that is really enjoyable, find a store that has a good selection of imported English/Scottish/Irish plum puddings. My impression is that plum pudding is made somewhat differently than fruitcake but the ingredients are simililar. I've tried a few imported plum puddings in the past and they were as good as any fruitcake I've ever had, although a bit expensive. I have bought a couple of different brands but unfortunately it's been a while and I don't recall the brands. I don't know if I just got lucky or if most of the ones imported into the US are pretty good. >> > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory >> > celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > >Sherry I know two other people: my dad and moi. Suz Macmoosette =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick |\__/| (=':'=) (")_(") >>My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe >>that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > Suz > Macmoosette All of us here love fruitcake, but we're a little picky about what type we buy. Pam S. >> I know two other people: my dad and moi. >> Suz >> Macmoosette > >All of us here love fruitcake, but we're a little picky about what type we buy. >Pam S. That's true, maybe too many people have had "bad" fruitcake. Suz Macmoosette =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick |\__/| (=':'=) (")_(") >> > 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the >> > mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >the universe that I know who does. People are always giving us their >fruitcakes. I like _some_ fruitcakes. Unfortunately, since I now have diabetes and high cholesterol, I can only eat a very small amount of fruitcake. SignatureJohn F. Eldredge -- john@jfeldredge.com PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu "Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria > -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE----- > Hash: SHA1 [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > and high cholesterol, I can only eat a very small amount of > fruitcake. Fruitcake is scrumptious if its warm, moist and smothered in brandy custard and thickened cream. Plum pudding is better, but still, anythign with that many calories has to be good, IMHO. Yowie >Fruitcake is scrumptious if its warm, moist and smothered in brandy custard >and thickened cream. Plum pudding is better, but still, anythign with that >many calories has to be good, IMHO. talking about fruitcake always reminds me of the hockey pucks in the OD green can found in some of the old C-Ration us old time military types used to eat. Terrible things alone, but if you soaked them in the juice from your peaches (also came in OD green cans) they were actually pretty good - course you still had to be REALLY hungry. SignatureSteve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit and Rocky (RB) stouchst@JUNKsirinet.net [remove Junk for email] Home Page: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/index.html Cat Pix: http://www.sirinet.net/~stouchst/animals.html > My DH loves fruitcake. Loves it. No joke. He's the only person in the universe > that I know who does. People are always giving us their fruitcakes. My mom makes something she calls christmas cake every year. It has a lot of dried fruits in it and it's delicious! I've never tasted american fruitcake, but I'm sure it's not the same thing. My mom's cake is awesome! SignatureVictor Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com I'd love to try it! Is there any way for you to get the recipe? Best wishes, SignaturePolonca & Soncek > My mom makes something she calls christmas cake every year. It has a lot > of dried fruits in it and it's delicious! I've never tasted american > fruitcake, but I'm sure it's not the same thing. My mom's cake is awesome! >My mom makes something she calls christmas cake every year. It has a lot >of dried fruits in it and it's delicious! I've never tasted american >fruitcake, but I'm sure it's not the same thing. My mom's cake is awesome! I bet your mom's cake is wonderful. I've never had a real homemade fruitcake. Just those awful things in the tins that would kill a dog if you threw it in the back yard and accidentally hit it in the head. "Made Fresh Yearly" comes to mind. Like I'm thinking they made Christmas '04 batch back in February when things were slow. That's what they taste like. Sherry >"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving >safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Jill This is going in my sig file. Its a bit long but I love it. Suz Macmoosette =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick |\__/| (=':'=) (")_(") |
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