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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / May 2008What Am I doing Wrong?
Sometimes I just feel like leaving rpca because I feel like I can't say anything right. I have alot of people mad at me, and I know I'm in a lot of hoomins litterboxes. I really love the funny pictures and videos, but the sadness and angst really get to me. I don''t feel like I'm of any value here whatsoever. What have I done wrong so I can correct it? I try and send purrs and prayers, for those who need them, and I've made some wonderful friends here. Mosey and I have sent cards to some people, who have expressed their appreciation and I thank you for that. I guess I'm just too sensitive. I'm not a 'frenetic' person, like someone said, and I do try and get along with the folks here . I don't know what to do. *sigh* Kyla...sad > Sometimes I just feel like leaving rpca because I feel like I can't say > anything right. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > *sigh* > Kyla...sad I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, asks for advice, and then states that she's going to do the opposite - and then gets upset when we question why she does what she wants and not what was advised anyway? She brings big chunks of grass in from the yard, and then doesn't understand how her cats can have intestinal parasites. She refuses to use a gas-powered mower, says she cannot even afford a push-reel mower (only $99 at Lowe's Home Improvement stores), and bitches about having to mow her lawn with a hand-held scythe.... talks about building an enclosure/fence in her back yard for her cats (one that they cannot get out of) using an *electrified fence*... whoa.... that got some people here going.... using an electric fence for cats (cows and horses, maybe, but CATS????)... so she left the group. Now she's come back seeking advice regarding health problems with her cat - and doesn't follow the advice, and gets defensive and upset when we question why she isn't following the advice... But you haven't done anything that I've seen, but I only read 1/4 of the posts on here anyway... Kyla, I come to this group for relief from my life. I read the posts at first but, then decide what is most important to me. There are a few I read just to see what they say. If someone refuses to accept advice and keeps coming up with another, different version of the same thing, I turn this thing off, go have a glass of wine then do meowchat for a bit, just for fun. Relax and don't take any of it to heart, it will depress you if you do. >> Sometimes I just feel like leaving rpca because I feel like I can't say >> anything right. [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > But you haven't done anything that I've seen, but I only read 1/4 of > the posts on here anyway... "Magic Mood Jeep" > I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, > Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > cat - and doesn't follow the advice, and gets defensive and upset when > we question why she isn't following the advice... Well, I don't know Pat, so ...... I don't try and piss anybody off, that's not who I am. I am a peace loving person and I don't like have people hissed off at me.. > But you haven't done anything that I've seen, but I only read 1/4 of > the posts on here anyway... Well, thanks for the info, and I will post less but will continue to send purrs and prayers and comfort to those who need it. And read the 'funnies' to keep my spirits happy. Thanks Hug Kyla | I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, | Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] | cat - and doesn't follow the advice, and gets defensive and upset when | we question why she isn't following the advice... Wow, what pack of lies for one post! 1.) Kyla did not piss me off. In fact she's one of the most civil and honest posters on RPCA - enough to include even *me* in her civility. 2.) Ask Dan Mahoney about using electricfied wire to keep cats from climbing over a fence. 3.) Unsolicited advice was offered, I took the best of it and put it to use. The only "defensive and upset" are those who can't stand the fact that I think for myself and use my own judgement. 4.) What's the point, no matter what I might say, someone will twist and distort it and throw it at the wall fifteen years from now in an effort to turn everyone else against me and force me to leave. For instance, JM, who simply cannot get over the fact that I used to enjoy being outside without clothes in the summer when I lived at the dead end of a long dirt road leading only to my house and I could hear visitors coming from half a mile away. But my WORST crime was when she was worrying about how to pay her rent, and I told her about a house for sale where the PITI would have been less than half the amount she was paying in rent, and she would have been half as far from her boyfriend. I doubt she will ever forgive this horrific crime, and there are many others here who have me on their sh.t-list with different capital offenses. So, Kyla, rest assured I've done much more wrong than you could ever dream of doing. The list of my crimes is a very long one, and I'm sure you'll hear all about it. My gosh, I've even refused to call an ambulance within minutes of being bitten by a tiny spider, and insisted on taking my chances with a home remedy (which worked, by the way). How CRIMINAL can you get??? Humans are not supposed to be responsible for their own well-being, for God's sake, everyone knows that!!!! I will surely burn in hell for all eternity!!!!!!!!!! Thank God for KF > | I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, > | Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, [quoted text clipped - 48 lines] > everyone knows that!!!! I will surely burn in hell for all > eternity!!!!!!!!!! >> I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, >> Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > crime, and there are many others here who have me on their sh.t-list > with different capital offenses. Excuse me, my name is Jill and you don't have to worry about pissing me off because you're right, you did it all over again. The problem was you expected me first to move in with you, then to buy a house next door to you. Together we could wallow in your PITY PARTY, I suppose. I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. John is perfectly capable of travelling to Memphis. We met in Memphis. He may well move back to Memphis. Meanwhile, I'll probably move to South Carolina. But if I was going to move it sure wouldn't be to Missouri. Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously said I could bring my own television set (how kind!) since you didn't have one. Oh, and my furniture, too. Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100 sq. ft. apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also furnish your place. Don't think so, chickie. Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd want to live next door to you is a mystery to me. As for gardening in the nude, tell me how that's working out for ya? Your neighbors love you, do they? Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do you pay for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee > >> I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, > >> Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in here, [quoted text clipped - 33 lines] > > Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) > Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do > you pay for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee It's $750 a month, Lee. With a 20 sq. ft. fenced patio. I've been here 11 years now. I like it :) Jill >>>> I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, well, >>>> Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] >> >> Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) that would cost over a grand here, but my house is about $500.00 for about 1700 sq ft, if it were in St. Louis it would be closer to 2k, thanks, Lee > > Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do > > you pay for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > >> > >> Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) >> Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do >> you pay for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Jill Patio view (from my swing) http://outdoors.webshots.com/photo/1084843839046690505XyEPIb Jill >>>>> I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to piss off Pat, >>>>> well, Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] >>> >>> Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) | Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do you pay | for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee | > Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously said I | could [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] | > apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also furnish your | > place. Don't think so, chickie. See what I mean, folks? Pam S. is right, and this is a prime example. Jill was concerned that she might not be able to afford her apartment, and I offered to open my house to her if she needed a place to stay. Now years later it is a crime - the more so because I could not afford to supply her with a television for her room. | > Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd want to | > live next door to you is a mystery to me. As for gardening in the nude, | > tell me how that's working out for ya? Your neighbors love you, do they? And I suppose no matter how many times I repeat that I live in town now and am (sadly) prohibited from being outdoors naked, she will continue to insist that I make a spectacle of myself here on a regular basis and still manage to stay out of jail. >> Jill, I just have to ask.. this is totally personal but how much do >> you pay for rent, that is HUGE for an apartment, Lee [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > place to stay. Now years later it is a crime - the more so because I > could not afford to supply her with a television for her room. Give me a f.cking break. You suggested I furnish your house. I "could" bring my TV. And my furniture. And move into a room in your house. Then buy the house next door. And live off disability. How's that working out for you? > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. > Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously said I could > bring my own television set (how kind!) since you didn't have one. Oh, and > my furniture, too. > Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100 sq. ft. > apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also furnish your > place. Don't think so, chickie. > Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd want to > live next door to you is a mystery to me. > Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid) Jill, what is your problem? She simply made an offer to you. You're not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about it, especially years later. I'm appalled that you would insult an entire state and all the people who live there. > As for gardening in the nude, > tell me how that's working out for ya? Your neighbors love you, do they? Christ, get a life.  SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ | > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. | [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] | | Christ, get a life. Joyce, you help make RPCA bearable. Thank you so much. (You too, Matthew!) It occurred to me after my last post that JM has also bitched at me for having tried to boost my video sales by posting about it here yet has the temerity to suggest that I don't even own a TV. Yet I was selling videos online and had hundreds of them at any given time, each of which had to be tested for quality prior to being offered for sale.... Makes me wonder how anyone can believe a word she says. Where's -L. when I need her!? LOL > | > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. > | [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > > LOL Lyn aka L doesn't post here but does in the other group behavior She posted yesterday for the first time in about a year her Mimi 18 years old passed away from crf | Lyn aka L doesn't post here but does in the other group behavior She | posted yesterday for the first time in about a year her Mimi 18 years old | passed away from crf Too sad ;( > > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about > it, especially years later. An "offer"? That I can bring my furniture and furnish her house, and oh, gee, I can bring my television because she doesn't have one. What sort of "offer" is that? Heh. Not much of one. She's the one who brought this back up, BTW. "JM" heh. She's a lunatic. Jill >> > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. >> [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Jill No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff for free simply because she exists - what used to be called communism and socialism is quickly becoming left-wing liberalism (i.e. democrats). Sorry, that's don't work for me. What's mine is what DH (& I) have worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job and EARN IT YOURSELF. >^..^< This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help her wipe out Bunny's world domination. -- The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at nalee1964 (at) comcast (dot) net http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep | jmcquown wrote: | >> [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] | worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job | and EARN IT YOURSELF. For the record, I have owned a television constantly and without interruption since 1998. Even though I could only tune in one station (poorly) while living on the farm, I had a growing collection of videotapes. Because I lived so far out of town and so rarely went to town, watching videos was the choice for evening entertainment, but since I only went to town every 10-14 days, I could not return rented videos in a timely manner, so I started buying used tapes at a local trading post and selling them online when finished. Eventually I started buying tapes in bulk at auctions and garage sales, solely to resell. I did this from 2001 until about two years ago I quit buying tapes but continued selling off the ones I still had. Note, I was REQUIRED to have a television to test all the tapes. You do not want to sell a flawed video on ebay or any other place, because you end up losing money by having to refund the buyer who either keeps the tape or sends it back at the seller's expense. It also destroys a seller's reputation to sell flawed merchandise. So I tested every single tape for quality prior to selling. My reputation as a seller is flawless because that is how I handled my business, and it *cannot* be done without owning a television. As to the political accusations, they too are utter rubbish. I am about as far as it's possible to get from socialist ideology. In fact my take on the matter is nearly identical to the views expressed by G. Edward Griffin in his speech "An Idea Whose Time Has Come" which can be viewed on video.google.com (and which I highly recommend to those who may be curious as to why, despite all the rhetoric we hear from politicians, things keep getting worse for "we the people"). Yes, I told Jill that if she wanted to bring furniture that was fine, because I had room for it, what few odd pieces I had was stuff I wouldn't mind giving or throwing away. But that is not the same as claiming her furniture as my own. I would not have expected to keep it, nor did I expect her to furnish my house. I continue to be flabbergasted at the intensity of the venom and the far-fetchedness of the lies these creatures invent about me and foist upon the RPCA community. I also feel as if for some reason unknown to and undeserved by me, I have become the dumping ground for their seething hatred of... I know not what. > No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and > what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job > and EARN IT YOURSELF. Oh no, and you have to be a Republican to be accepted here, too? Okay, never mind, please don't accept me. Candace Bush sucks, McCain sucks more. On May 17, 8:05 am, Magic Mood Jeep © <nob...@nowhere.net> wrote: > No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and > what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job > and EARN IT YOURSELF. | Oh no, and you have to be a Republican to be accepted here, too? | Okay, never mind, please don't accept me. | Candace | Bush sucks, McCain sucks more. What makes Nanlee's accusations even more ludicrous is the fact that I've spent the past year campaigning for Republican candidates here in MO and nationally, have been a precinct captain and an election judge (Republican), am on the Republican ballot for precinct committee-woman and am a delegate to the state Republican convention later this month. But that doesn't mean I approve of Bush or McCain. > What makes Nanlee's accusations even more ludicrous is the fact that I've > spent the past year campaigning for Republican candidates here in MO and > nationally, have been a precinct captain and an election judge (Republican), > am on the Republican ballot for precinct committee-woman and am a delegate > to the state Republican convention later this month. But that doesn't mean I > approve of Bush or McCain. Oh, my sympathies, how dreadful. Candace On May 17, 8:05 am, Magic Mood Jeep © <nob...@nowhere.net> wrote: > No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and > what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job > and EARN IT YOURSELF. Oh no, and you have to be a Republican to be accepted here, too? Okay, never mind, please don't accept me. Candace I knew there were some good reasons I liked your messages (in addition to cats, of course). I'm a Democrat, which probably makes me one of the few. MaryL On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > On May 17, 8:05 am, Magic Mood Jeep © <nob...@nowhere.net> wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > MaryL Candace is a good egg. Remember CP? He drove me crazy, but she was the the only one on the whole group who was consistently kind to him . I thought that showed her real character. On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > "Candace" <maccand...@aol.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > MaryL Candace is a good egg. Remember CP? He drove me crazy, but she was the the only one on the whole group who was consistently kind to him . I thought that showed her real character. I agree. I don't read every message on rpca or h+b, but I *always* read messages from Candace (unless they are lost in a long thread that I skip over). Incidentally, the same is true of yours! MaryL On May 19, 6:26 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > MaryL Thanks, you guys. I'm gonna get a swelled head...and I might have to hang around rpca more :) I like you both, too, and also always read your posts although I don't come to rpca regularly (but maybe I will start). Candace Candace > On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > the only one on the whole group who was consistently kind to him . I > thought that showed her real character. Well, thank you. He's had some hard times lately. His cat, Jade, died a few months back pretty suddenly and then his cat Icarus was repeatedly blocked and now his original cat, Isis, has a UTI, too. Most everyone is nice to him now. Candace > On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > the only one on the whole group who was consistently kind to him . I > thought that showed her real character. Well, thank you. He's had some hard times lately. His cat, Jade, died a few months back pretty suddenly and then his cat Icarus was repeatedly blocked and now his original cat, Isis, has a UTI, too. Most everyone is nice to him now. Candace > On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Just dawned on me who you meant.I never had any problems with that dude and he was one of the very few I'd ever post to over there. He seemed to me to be one of the few voices of sanity there, especially lately, but I never hung there anyway much. Matt has become a reg there...to each his own. On May 19, 7:01 am, Sherry <sridd...@aol.com> wrote: > On May 19, 7:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Just dawned on me who you meant.I never had any problems with that dude and he was one of the very few I'd ever post to over there. He seemed to me to be one of the few voices of sanity there, especially lately, but I never hung there anyway much. Matt has become a reg there...to each his own. I have been a regular there for years sometimes the flaming can be entertaining ;-) > On May 19, 7:01 am, Sherry <sridd...@aol.com> wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 47 lines] > > - Show quoted text - I had my fill of 'flaming entertainment' way back in the days of alt.cats flame wars, thank you. But dog-boy wasn't around then to waste bandwidth. I know you try to help the sincere posters who need advice about their cats. On May 20, 7:54 am, "Matthew" <iamacatslave...@proudtoserve.com> wrote: > "hopitus" <hopi...@hotmail.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 52 lines] > > - Show quoted text - I had my fill of 'flaming entertainment' way back in the days of alt.cats flame wars, thank you. But dog-boy wasn't around then to waste bandwidth. I know you try to help the sincere posters who need advice about their cats. I try it is hard sometimes to pick out trolls and truly people in need. I treat them all as sincere till you can tell they are a@@s I still hang out in alt.cats and health + behavior along with a few others In alt.cats the regulars still won't learn about jumping on the bandwagon so most are putz in my book Howdy has morphed into like 9 different personalities all in my kill file > On May 20, 7:54 am, "Matthew" <iamacatslave...@proudtoserve.com> > wrote: [quoted text clipped - 73 lines] > > Howdy has morphed into like 9 different personalities all in my kill file Oh, he's *WAY* more than that - he changes his 'nym almost every post. Thankfully, you can pretty much tell it's him by the 'nyms he chooses though, and just avoid reading his posts. Hugs, CatNipped On May 19, 5:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > On May 17, 8:05 am, Magic Mood Jeep © <nob...@nowhere.net> wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > MaryL And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) Candace while I don't have a party affiliation I can honestly say the cats are anarchists, Lee On May 19, 5:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > "Candace" <maccand...@aol.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > MaryL And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) Candace And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) ====================== Ok, maybe I'm stupid, but I don't recall any stories about your owners. Can you introduce them for us again, just for my own entertainment? Pam S. > And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Pam S. Pam, I don't think I've ever really posted about them here in rpca. Currently, I only have 2 indoor cats, Abbey and Marbles. I also have an outdoor cat, WB, who turned up as a stray about 2 years ago and, even after we got him neutered, he still sprays so he lives outside. We also have an assortment of other outdoor cats who eat here. Our neighborhood seems to be a haven for strays. I first started posting in rpchb in about 1999, maybe even earlier. At the time, we had 4 cats: Emily, who died in 1999 at the age of 14; her son Cory (I found Emily and her kittens in 1986), who died in 2004 at age 18; Miles, who only lived to be 8 (kidney disease in 2001); and Scottie, who died due to a veterinary error/incompetence at the age of 9 in 2006. We found Abbey abandoned as a 4 week old kitten in a desert mountain preserve in 2001 and we got Marbles in 2004 after Cory died because I missed having a black and white cat (which Emily and Cory were). He was from a rescue group and was 6 when we got him. He and Abbey, only now, after almost 4 years, have begun to get along. We had to keep them separated until just about 1-2 months ago when, all of a sudden, one day they began to tolerate each other. Abbey had been horrified of him for the last 4 years for some unknown reason--he's very vocal and kinda hyper so I guess she found that offensive. Now, she's still not thrilled with him but they will actually sleep in the same room together and eat together. Abbey had chylothorax in 2005 and almost died but survived and is doing wonderfully even though she had a very poor prognosis. I did post about her here a little when Dan's cat, Harri, was ill a couple years ago. But other than that, I mostly lurk here. I know about all the regulars' cats. And that's about it...thanks for asking. Candace Pam, I don't think I've ever really posted about them here in rpca. Currently, I only have 2 indoor cats, Abbey and Marbles. I also have an outdoor cat, WB, who turned up as a stray about 2 years ago and, even after we got him neutered, he still sprays so he lives outside. We also have an assortment of other outdoor cats who eat here. Our neighborhood seems to be a haven for strays. I first started posting in rpchb in about 1999, maybe even earlier. At the time, we had 4 cats: Emily, who died in 1999 at the age of 14; her son Cory (I found Emily and her kittens in 1986), who died in 2004 at age 18; Miles, who only lived to be 8 (kidney disease in 2001); and Scottie, who died due to a veterinary error/incompetence at the age of 9 in 2006. We found Abbey abandoned as a 4 week old kitten in a desert mountain preserve in 2001 and we got Marbles in 2004 after Cory died because I missed having a black and white cat (which Emily and Cory were). He was from a rescue group and was 6 when we got him. He and Abbey, only now, after almost 4 years, have begun to get along. We had to keep them separated until just about 1-2 months ago when, all of a sudden, one day they began to tolerate each other. Abbey had been horrified of him for the last 4 years for some unknown reason--he's very vocal and kinda hyper so I guess she found that offensive. Now, she's still not thrilled with him but they will actually sleep in the same room together and eat together. Abbey had chylothorax in 2005 and almost died but survived and is doing wonderfully even though she had a very poor prognosis. I did post about her here a little when Dan's cat, Harri, was ill a couple years ago. But other than that, I mostly lurk here. I know about all the regulars' cats. And that's about it...thanks for asking. ============================== Awesome. You have a lot of grand sounding owners. I hope that Abby and Marbles continue to honor their truce. Thanks for posting about them. I can never get enough stories about the owners. Pam S. <snip> > Abbey had chylothorax in 2005 and almost died but survived and is > doing wonderfully even though she had a very poor prognosis. I did [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Candace I'm so glad to hear Abbey recovered so well. Best wishes, POlonca and Soncek On May 19, 5:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > On May 17, 8:05 am, Magic Mood Jeep © <nob...@nowhere.net> wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > MaryL And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) Candace On May 19, 5:39 am, "MaryL" <stanco...@yahoo.comTAKE-OUT-THE-LITTER> wrote: > "Candace" <maccand...@aol.com> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > MaryL And my cats are democats, as I'm sure yours are, too :) Candace Oh, yes, Holly and Duffy are both ardent Democrats. They put their paws down -- hard!-- though, and will not even consider letting a donkey in the house. I told them that would be better than an elephant, but they just looked at me in disgust. MaryL >> > I have no interest in moving to bumfuck Missouri. >> [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > "offer" is that? Heh. Not much of one. She's the one who brought this > back up, BTW. "JM" heh. She's a lunatic. This should stop right now. It looks like you and Pat will never get on <understatement of the year>. I have noticed 2 things: 1. Jill, you do not seem to be able to get over Pat's offer to have her stay with you when you were wondering if you could continue to afford your apartment. This was several years ago and you need to move on from it. 2. Pat, I realise you are always in dire financial circumstances, but it it's very frustrating when you post your emergency and *always* refuse to consider any helpful advice you receive. It led to you leaving the group before and it may well do so again. I suggest you killfile each other. Whilst I'm not adverse to a good debate myself and will join in, this isn't one. It's ugly and it needs to stop. Once personal insults start to be involved, all participants need to get out of the arena. It makes me sad. Matthew and Adrian were big enough to do it, you two can too. Tweed | Once personal insults start to be involved, all participants need to get out | of the arena. I did get out last year and stayed gone for a good long while. That was due to the sheer number of personal insults that were coming *at* me. For me to call someone out when they lie about me is not a personal insult, it is self-defense, as well as an implied request for the lying to stop and for corroboration when I am in fact telling the truth and others know it. The fact that I am not well off financially ought not to be considered a personal insult by anyone. You might wish to consider that I am way far from the only person to post about difficulties, financial or otherwise. In fact the very people who are most outspoken in their displeasure at my occasionally seeking solace at RPCA, are the ones who have posted of their own troubles at least as often as I have, and usually more. Why does no one complain about them? I haven't. Well, I did at least promise to complain once, but I let it go. It's quite clear now that I should have followed through, based on the following message that I sent via private email last year, to which I have yet to receive a response: ----- Original Message ----- From: P. Davis To: CatNipped Sent: Friday, July 20, 2007 11:40 AM Subject: You owe me an apology "CatNipped" <CatNipped@PossiblePlaces.com> wrote >> | show me a single post, from any time in the past years that you'e been >> | posting here, just *one* *single* *post* where you wrote about a [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > No you don't have time to search that because you could search for days or > weeks and not find one! That is a lie. See the following: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/5bc22eab1e99b184 http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/8ea97a35007e1d02 http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/f8a5c223be7b3352 It took me 15 minutes to find these. I could spend another 30 minutes and find a bunch more, but this is sufficient to dismiss your case. I think you are still intent on being seen as right, as you wanted to do on June 10, 2006 in http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/6417adc7a0a1ee37 and from which I quote the following excerpt: "CatNipped" <lcr...@houston.rr.com> wrote > I forget which one had the broken tail so I, and others, sent money > to a vet to help her pay to get it fixed and then she didn't even > bring him to the vet - sheesh, give me a break. In reply to that attack, I directed your attention to my post of Dec. 27, 2005: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/b32ae0526cf0820d URL of my full reply: http://groups.google.com/group/rec.pets.cats.anecdotes/msg/06ba700a80233065 You've never retracted that false accusation. You are free to leave your published lies about me stand unretracted, if you think that is the honorable thing to do, however, this is libelous, defamatory, and no doubt in contravention of your ISP's Acceptable Use Policy. This time if you do not publish a retraction, I intend to report the abuse. Retracting posts via Google Groups is a pretty simple matter. See http://groups.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=46493 Also take note of Item #6 at http://groups.google.com/googlegroups/terms_of_service3.html Thank you. _________________________________________ The real problem comes when the lies get repeated and magnified by those who may not have bothered reading the entire thread in which they initially arose, and simply take on faith the word of anyone who's been a more active poster than the one being slandered. In this case, Christina, you are doing just that when you say that I "*always* refuse to consider any helpful advice". This is blatantly false, many people here know it's blatantly false, but many simply accept that it must be true because you're a regular and frequent poster. Libel/slander IS personal insult, and responding to it by stating the truth of the matter, and noting that the one(s) engaging in the false witness game are lying, is NOT a personal insult and should never be taken as such. > | Once personal insults start to be involved, all participants need to get > out [quoted text clipped - 108 lines] > regular > and frequent poster. But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a regular and frequent poster, is it? It's because we get frustrated by you. What do you want from us? Nothing seems to suit. I gave you some advice in case Abelard had vestibular syndrome. I still think this is what he has. Lots of luck for Abelard to recover - it will take a while if his inner ear is involved. It's quite serious. Tweed > But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a > regular and frequent poster, is it? > It's because we get frustrated by you. What do you want from us? > Nothing seems to suit. This may be so, but why do people get so incredibly upset by it? To the point where several people have brought out all the old anger from years ago? I don't get what the big deal is. I can understand maybe being annoyed, but the level of invective seems way out of proportion. Anyway, it's not hard to remedy the situation. If you give Pat advice and you don't like how she responds to it, then *don't give her advice anymore*! It's really that easy. If you continue to give advice even though you know what's going to happen, then you only have yourself to blame for your frustration. This isn't personal to you, Tweed. I'm talking to everyone who will not stop talking (and snarking) about this. I haven't heard such nastiness from the regulars here. We're going to lose our bragging rights as the nicest place on Usenet if people keep this up. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ > > But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a > > regular and frequent poster, is it? [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > from the regulars here. We're going to lose our bragging rights as the > nicest place on Usenet if people keep this up. <delurk> Our human grandpa was a vicar and although our human mom is agnostic, there is one saying she will always remember and uses and lives by: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you (Matthew 7:12)." Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people don't know excist. Those "ignorant"people are very lucky! Our mom sees horrible abuse. From those who claim they love their children. The things those "parents" do are often acts so cruel that it's almost impossible to understand how people even come up with the idea to do this. Then there are those who really love their children, but don't know how to raise them properly. Because they themselves come from a dysfuncitional family, are learning disabled, use drugs and/or are psychiatric patients. They too do the most awful things to their kids... Our human mom often comes home sad although she loves her work. Know when she is really, really sad? When she has been involved in cases where children are verbally and or mentally abused! Physical abuse can be very bad, but everybody sees it and understands what it does to a child, a person. Verbal and mental abuse are "invisible", but often hurt as much or more. So our mom knows... She knows that words "do" hurt. We lurk here. Sometimes we would like to participate, but we are afraid. Of this, of threads like this where humans become so angry with each other. We could not stay silent though. As it makes us as sad as our mom when we see this. Of course there are differences between humans and of course one may get flamed on usenet. That's a well known fact. But this newsgroup was one of the few we read. Because it often makes us smile and makes our mom smile after a hard day at work. It's so good to see how humans who don't even know each other in purrson help each other, even financially. It's so good to see how humans care for each other, even though they may come from completely different backgrounds or live in different circumstances. We hope that humans who have a very personal problem with each other take this off the group. Yes, maybe RPCA is tame for some. But for those humans there are hundreds, even thousands of newsgroups more to their liking. Please let RPCA remain that haven for all those cats and their owners! A place where they can be themselves without being judged or hurt. A place to have adventures, ask for purrs or vent about all kind of things. With purrs, Byron, Ginger and Giovanni, relurking and hoping things will get back to normal so they can stay and enjoy Trudi here, if you guys want a place to post check out RPCC, you do NOT have to use meowchat, , Trudi > > > But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a > > > regular and frequent poster, is it? [quoted text clipped - 67 lines] > Byron, Ginger and Giovanni, relurking and hoping things will get back to > normal so they can stay and enjoy > Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people > don't know excist. [snip] > Our human mom often comes home sad although she loves her work. Know when > she is really, really sad? When she has been involved in cases where > children are verbally and or mentally abused! Physical abuse can be very > bad, but everybody sees it and understands what it does to a child, a > person. Verbal and mental abuse are "invisible", but often hurt as much or > more. So our mom knows... She knows that words "do" hurt. I can't agree more! My dad was both physically and emotionally/verbally abusive toward us kids. But what I'm still angry about, 40-50 years later, is not the physical punishments, but all the horrible things he used to say about me, many of which I still believe about myself and still struggle with every day. It's true that, within the spectrum of physical abuses a parent can visit upon a child, what my father did wasn't so bad. I've certainly heard stories far more horrific than anything that went on in my house. But the verbal abuse was almost diabolical. I once had a therapist who also used to work with psychiatric inpatients, and she was pretty experienced at this, so she'd heard a lot of terrible stories. And she said that, in all the years she'd worked, with people who'd endured terrible abuses from their parents, she had never heard *verbal* abuse as bad as what I was telling her my father used to do. That was certainly sobering. It also gives me a little more patience with myself, when I sometimes have a hard time shutting up the nasty voices in my head, and some well-meaning but naive friends say stuff like, "Just stop that! Just don't say or think those things to yourself." (LOL - thank you, Nancy Reagan*. :)) Yeah, easy for them to say. They didn't internalize my father's abuse. *Nancy Reagan - Ronald Reagan's wife. She was the one who started the "Just Say No" campaign for kids to stay off drugs. I'm sure that somewhere, some simpleton still believes in that idea, but for most of us, it's a target for ridicule. -- Joyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ > > Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people > > don't know excist. [snip] [quoted text clipped - 42 lines] > > To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ {{{{{{Hugs Joyce}}}}} Charleen > <bastXXXette@sonic.net> wrote in message >> I can't agree more! My dad was both physically and emotionally/verbally >> abusive toward us kids. But what I'm still angry about, 40-50 years >> later, is not the physical punishments, but all the horrible things he >> used to say about me, many of which I still believe about myself and >> still struggle with every day. > {{{{{{Hugs Joyce}}}}} Thanks, Charleen! Childhood was a long, long time ago, but the effects are still here. So I appreciate it. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ > > Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people > > don't know excist. [snip] [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > -- > Joyce (((((((((Joyce))))))))) Joy > (((((((((Joyce))))))))) Thanks, Joy! Much appreciated. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ On May 18, 4:33 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > > Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people > > don't know excist. [snip] [quoted text clipped - 40 lines] > > To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ I can't help but reply. I've watched my niece and nephew grow up from the time I baby sat them when I was in high school to now, some 33 years later. I would cringe at the horrible things their dad said to them. Kid that I was I tried looking some of the words up to show him what they meant, and tell him he was wrong-boy did I get blasted! Never anything physical-only words that made them hate themselves. Now, bright, laughing little R has been in and out of prison. His sister has lost all of her 3 kids, 2 of which were born with fetal alcohol syndrome, has been in several meth treatment centers, and is presently in womens lockup for her 4th dui. So much loss...so many lives effected. And it carries on. PatM > On May 18, 4:33 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 58 lines] > > - Show quoted text - You shoulda put a TW on that post, Pam. ((((Pam)))) On May 18, 8:29 pm, PatM <trufflecat...@yahoo.com> wrote: > I can't help but reply. I've watched my niece and nephew grow up from > the time I baby sat them when I was in high school to now, some 33 [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > - Show quoted text - You shoulda put a TW on that post, Pam. ((((Pam)))) Thanks for the hugs, but I've never posted all the fun games the old man taught us. PatM is the one who deserves the hugs, along with her niece and nephew. Pam S. who won't depress the group further with abuse stories, at least for now. I haven't read much of this thread, partly because it is always the truth, abuse hurts and scars no matter the form it takes, and the other truth I know too well, is that if you don't fight it, and keep fighting then the abuser wins twice, the abuser wins by abusing and then wins again if you don't overcome the abuse... you never forget, you never get over it, and it will come up and slap you when you aren't looking, but I for one will never give in to it, Lee > On May 18, 8:29 pm, PatM <trufflecat...@yahoo.com> wrote: > > [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > Pam S. who won't depress the group further with abuse stories, at least for > now. > I can't help but reply. I've watched my niece and nephew grow up from > the time I baby sat them when I was in high school to now, some 33 [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > presently in womens lockup for her 4th dui. So much loss...so many > lives effected. And it carries on. Anybody got ideas on how to intervene in this? I see quite a bit of it around here, mainly young mothers on buses. They start when the kid is only weeks old and seem to keep up a continuous stream of anger and contempt for as long as the children are within earshot. You see a woman screaming her lungs out at a baby in a pushchair and think, my god why did you ever have it in the first place? Usually the mothers are very young, don't have a clue, and there's nobody in their lives who could give them one. What do you say to them without coming across as a patronizing, interfering arsehole? (Usually I just smile at the baby - at least I can convey that not everyone hates it). ==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === <http://www.campin.me.uk> ==== Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557 CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts > Anybody got ideas on how to intervene in this? I see quite a bit of > it around here, mainly young mothers on buses. They start when the > kid is only weeks old and seem to keep up a continuous stream of anger > and contempt for as long as the children are within earshot. You see > a woman screaming her lungs out at a baby in a pushchair and think, my > god why did you ever have it in the first place? You can't,really, which is probably just as well given that it's sometimes difficult to distinquish among abuse, a parent who's just lost it once (as the best ones do from time to time), and parenting style - sometimes one person's abuse is another's rough but loving manners, and sometimes within a single family behaviour one child considers abusive, another considers loving. One person's drama queen is another's demonstrative mother; one's calm parent is another's cold and unloving one. Physical abuse is much more clear-cut, although even there opinions differ - does a swat on the behind of a toddler who has tried (or succeeded) in running out in a street count? (No, I DON'T want to start that debate; it's a rhetorical question!) > Usually the mothers are very young, don't have a clue, and there's > nobody in their lives who could give them one. What do you say to > them without coming across as a patronizing, interfering arsehole? > (Usually I just smile at the baby - at least I can convey that not > everyone hates it). It can't hurt. I think that children who grow up successfully in bad homes often have had adults outside the immediate family circle who took a kindly interest in them - a relative, neighbour, teacher. Cheryl > It can't hurt. I think that children who grow up successfully in bad homes > often have had adults outside the immediate family circle who took a > kindly interest in them - a relative, neighbour, teacher. Amen to that Cheryl. Looking back it was all the kind people who ultimate kept me from using that razor on my wrists. There was a bus driver who'd buy my sisters and I lunches on band trips. A teacher that got me away from the family for the summers from my first through fourth grade by taking me to hers and her husband's house in Idaho to stay. Another teacher who did what she could to shield me after she knew about the parents' abuse. Friends in later years who were not afraid to answer questions about parenting and dealing with the real world when I felt so stupid asking. And above all friends who were sympathetic for all I'd been through without judging me or my parents for the mistakes we'd made. Pam S. > > It can't hurt. I think that children who grow up successfully in bad homes > > often have had adults outside the immediate family circle who took a [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Pam S. Being the ray of sunshine that I am, let me point out that your history is probably the reason YOU are such a good parent. One absolute, cardinal, no- exceptions rule in my house was, no one ever said "shut up." Or "stupid". Those were two words that I did not allow, for reasons obvious. Not that I never lost my temper with them, especially around age 13, but I never, ever, ever *said* anything belitting to either of them. They also knew I was angry and disliked what they'd DONE, not them. My daughter tells me it's a wonder that I am as normal as I am. I think that's a compliment??? Sherry On May 19, 11:52 am, "tanadashoes" <tan...@earthlink.net> wrote: > "Cheryl P." <cperk...@mun.ca> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Pam S. Being the ray of sunshine that I am, let me point out that your history is probably the reason YOU are such a good parent. One absolute, cardinal, no- exceptions rule in my house was, no one ever said "shut up." Or "stupid". Those were two words that I did not allow, for reasons obvious. Not that I never lost my temper with them, especially around age 13, but I never, ever, ever *said* anything belitting to either of them. They also knew I was angry and disliked what they'd DONE, not them. My daughter tells me it's a wonder that I am as normal as I am. I think that's a compliment??? Sherry *** I'd say it's a great compliment! Joy > One absolute, cardinal, no-exceptions rule in my house was, no one > ever said "shut up." Or "stupid". Those were two words that I did [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > My daughter tells me it's a wonder that I am as normal as I am. I > think that's a compliment??? It's pretty amazing when you can take a bad experience like that, and turn it into something positive. So kudos to you for pulling that off! Some people just repeat what their parents did, passing it on to the next generation. It takes a lot of strength to go against the natural urge to copy the behavior that was modeled for you. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ Being the ray of sunshine that I am, let me point out that your history is probably the reason YOU are such a good parent. One absolute, cardinal, no- exceptions rule in my house was, no one ever said "shut up." Or "stupid". Those were two words that I did not allow, for reasons obvious. Not that I never lost my temper with them, especially around age 13, but I never, ever, ever *said* anything belitting to either of them. They also knew I was angry and disliked what they'd DONE, not them. My daughter tells me it's a wonder that I am as normal as I am. I think that's a compliment??? ============================ It is a compliment indeed. In my case, I went through years of therapy. I'm still not sure that I got it right, but I tried and I think my kids are pretty decent people, in spite of the fact they can't seem to figure out how to get jobs and move out. I know, if that's my only complaint about them, I'm doing pretty good. Pam S. > Amen to that Cheryl. Looking back it was all the kind people who ultimate > kept me from using that razor on my wrists. There was a bus driver who'd [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Pam S. Lots and lots of hugs and purrs, Polonca and Soncek > You can't,really, which is probably just as well given that it's > sometimes difficult to distinquish among abuse, a parent who's just lost [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > another considers loving. One person's drama queen is another's > demonstrative mother; one's calm parent is another's cold and unloving one. There are certainly many gray areas, but that doesn't mean there isn't also clear-cut verbal (or emotional) abuse. I think belittling is always abusive. If I overheard a parent calling their child a "moron", for example, I would not be able to reframe that in my mind so that it wasn't abuse. > It can't hurt. I think that children who grow up successfully in bad > homes often have had adults outside the immediate family circle who took > a kindly interest in them - a relative, neighbour, teacher. I never had that. Occasionally I had a good teacher, who inspired me and who seemed to respect my abilities. But nobody who made a point of taking me under their wing and forming a relationship with me, giving me a positive experience. I used to think it happened like that because I didn't deserve to be saved. In fact, I still find it hard to shake that feeling, even now, even though I know there are other ways to look at that situation (eg: people didn't recognize abusive situations in the 1960s; even when it was recognized, it wasn't always acknowledged or dealt with; many of the adults in my town were prejudiced - my family was the only Jewish family in a very white town with a lot of bigotry). It still hurts. I have friends who grew up in tough family situations, who were "rescued" in one way or another by other adults in their lives. On bad days, I end up concluding that the reason they were rescued and I wasn't is because some adult saw something worthwhile about them - some talent, intelligence, or other quality - that made them want to intervene, but nobody saw anything like that in me. Other times, I look back and think that I must have had *something* to justify my existence, so why didn't anyone *do* anything?? And then I get really angry. So yeah, it's hard not to intervene when I see it going on with other parents and kids in public. Sometimes I do intervene, sometimes just smiling at the child like Jack was saying, so the kid knows that not all adults will make them feel worthless. On the other hand, public interventions can be very upsetting for the child, both in the current moment, and later, when the parent takes it out on them. I have a story about that, which I'll post separately, because otherwise this one will get much too long! SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ Just a quick note to say that one need not have been verbally abused in childhood for verbal abuse to be painful in later life. > Just a quick note to say that one need not have been verbally abused in > childhood for verbal abuse to be painful in later life. It's pretty nasty whenever it happens. My main point was that because I was verbally abused as a child, I internalized that behavior pattern in my mind, and now it's hard to get it out of my head. Also, I frequently imagine that people are trying to put me down or humiliate me when they almost always are not. The vast majority of times when I get angry at someone for "treating me badly", I'm forced to admit later that they really weren't doing anything of the kind. Gets kind of confusing sometimes. In fact, when someone actually *is* nasty and out-of-line with me, it's almost a relief, because at least then I know it's *real*. After getting angry and defensive, time after time, with people who don't deserve it, it can be sort of gratifying to be angry at someone for good reason. :) Which is *NOT* to say that I try to create those situations. Just to be clear on that. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ "Pat" <just_a_ghost@in_this_house.com> wrote in news:ZeGdneBX6- cccazVnZ2dnUVZ_v_inZ2d@centurytel.net: > Just a quick note to say that one need not have been verbally abused in > childhood for verbal abuse to be painful in later life. All I can tell you, Pat, is you have to be bigger than other people some times. I did not pick my username by chance. I have always gone the way that seems right rather than the way my "peers" wanted to push me. In return for this I have gathered a modicum of personal and professional respect (from those who matter) and have never had a problem looking myself in the mirror. If I had something against you I would tell you and be done with it. If it was not very important I would just forget it. I would not judge you by one or two actions of your's but by the preponderance of your actions. I give the people railed against you the same accord. There are people who post to this group who would rather not hear my opinion and those who would. That is as it should be. Who you are and what you are worth does not come from _anyone_ posting to this newsgroup. You are certainly not perfect but luckily neither am I else I could not tell you these things. BTW: I am pretty sure no one who _ever_ posted to this group is perfect either. Andy Andy that was very well put, Lee > "Pat" <just_a_ghost@in_this_house.com> wrote in news:ZeGdneBX6- > cccazVnZ2dnUVZ_v_inZ2d@centurytel.net: [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Andy Amen Andy, you nailed it. > Andy that was very well put, Lee >> "Pat" <just_a_ghost@in_this_house.com> wrote in news:ZeGdneBX6- [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] >> >> Andy Well said Andy. I am SO far from perfect myself, and still trying to 'learn the ropes' here. I've been both verbal and psychically abused and it ain't fun. Both can do much harm in later life as I've learned. Hug Kyla "Granby" > Amen Andy, you nailed it. > "Stormmee" [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] >>> >>> Andy > It also gives me a little more patience with myself, when I sometimes > have a hard time shutting up the nasty voices in my head, and some > well-meaning but naive friends say stuff like, "Just stop that! Just > don't say or think those things to yourself." (LOL - thank you, Nancy > Reagan*. :)) Yeah, easy for them to say. They didn't internalize my > father's abuse. Joyce, you sound like a survivor! I admire anyone who has gone through crap like that and come out on top. Take care, Rhonda >> It also gives me a little more patience with myself, when I sometimes >> have a hard time shutting up the nasty voices in my head > Joyce, you sound like a survivor! I admire anyone who has gone through > crap like that and come out on top. Well, I am still here, it's true. Thanks for the nice words. Today must be my day to receive good thoughts from people. :) SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ <snip> > I can't agree more! My dad was both physically and > emotionally/verbally abusive toward us kids. But what I'm still angry > about, 40-50 years later, is not the physical punishments, but all > the horrible things he used to say about me, many of which I still > believe about myself and still struggle with every day. <snip> {{{{{{{{{{{{ Joyce }}}}}}}}}}}} SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy, Bagheera & Shadow) Cats leave pawprints on your heart http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk > I can't agree more! My dad was both physically and emotionally/verbally > abusive toward us kids. But what I'm still angry about, 40-50 years [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ Lots of hugs and purrs, Polonca and Soncek >> I can't agree more! My dad was both physically and emotionally/verbally >> abusive toward us kids. But what I'm still angry about, 40-50 years >> later, is not the physical punishments, but all the horrible things he >> used to say about me, many of which I still believe about myself and >> still struggle with every day. I haven't been following this thread, but I remember once "enjoying" a very uncomfortable evening meal with an acquaintance and her husband. A mutual friend had told me he beat her, but after that evening meal, I was pretty much on hubby's side! (Practically every word out of her mouth was in some way belittling to him - the sort of thing you just don't SAY with guests present - especially if they are not intimate friends!) I don't think I've ever spent quite such an embarrassing couple of hours - by the time I found an opportunity to excuse myself and leave, I was about ready to belt her one, myself! > I haven't been following this thread, but I remember once "enjoying" a > very uncomfortable evening meal with an acquaintance and her husband. A [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > couple of hours - by the time I found an opportunity to excuse myself > and leave, I was about ready to belt her one, myself! Ugh, I've been around couples where one of them is constantly belittling the other. I don't find it embarrassing, but it does upset me. It's really depressing to be around that kind of ugliness. Sometimes I get angry about it, but usually I don't say anything unless it just goes on end on. And then my comments are focused on my feelings, rather than on meddling in their relationship issues. I must say, though, that since they've chosen to exhibit their behavior in front of me, I consider their personal struggles to be fair game for my commentary. I just prefer not to jump into something like that impulsively - it could turn into a real mess. I have at times been asked to mediate problems between couples, but that's different. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ >> > But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a >> > regular and frequent poster, is it? [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > Our human mom is a child protection worker. She sees things most people > don't know excist. I'm in the same line of work myself. And I've seen it, trust me. I try to leave it those miles away when I come home. It's essential really and maybe you cats could help your mom to do the same. I gave up lying awake at night thinking about it after ten years or so. It doesn't help. Tweed your point is well taken but I think people keep offering advice because they are really concerned for the cats, Lee > > But you do ignore good advice, Pat. It's nothing to do whether I'm a > > regular and frequent poster, is it? [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ > your point is well taken but I think people keep offering advice because > they are really concerned for the cats, Lee It's not always about cats, though. What about the World-Famous Spider Bite Incident? No cats involved there, but the dynamic was the same. SignatureJoyce To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ in the end it was about the cats to me, anyway, at the same time this was going on, we had a manager in our program that had an infestation of those things, he was out of work for 3 weeks while the state tried to get rid of them, and all I could think was, what if she died from the infection and the cats were left there alone, Lee > > your point is well taken but I think people keep offering advice because > > they are really concerned for the cats, Lee [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^ > in the end it was about the cats to me, anyway, at the same time this was > |
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