BW - Feline "Wanted" Posters

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Enfilade - 19 Apr 2008 01:22 GMT

Wanted: Kumani
Known Aliases: Princess Particular, Chibi-Kumani-Chan, Sweetyface
Crime: Uttering death threats
Modus operandi: Phoning in bomb threats to the vet; writing
threatening letters to the Fancy Feast company arguing for "more
Grilled Chicken"; threatening to hire a hit-kitten to "disembowl" the
vet tech with the thermometer
Reward offered by: International Veterinary Association

Wanted: Tyche
Known Aliases: Princess Piehole, ratface kitten, TyCH
Crime: Breaking when entering; assault
Modus operandi: Attempting to cram self into box that's too small (to
the detriment of the box); entering and clawing up plastic bags; also
grand theft food and unauthorized entry via suitcase, gym bag, etc.;
and allegedly agreeing to act as her sister's hit kitten, including
biting the vet
Reward offered by: The garbage guy who has to deal with all those
broken boxes and bags

Wanted: Smokey
Known Aliases: that damn cat, Smokey the Poke
Crime: Mass murder
Modus operandi: C'mere l'il bunnies.
Reward: Unlimited supply of Easter candy
Reward offered by: The bunnies of Belleville

Wanted: Nocturne
Known Aliases: Nox, Noxi bin Badd al-Qitty, your lordship
Crime: Criminal mastermind
Modus operandi: Seeks nothing less than the complete and total
subjugation of the human race
Reward offered by: Macavity the Mystery Cat, who wants his old job
back

--Fil

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Kyla =^. .^= - 19 Apr 2008 01:35 GMT

"Enfilade" <

> Wanted: Kumani
> Known Aliases: Princess Particular, Chibi-Kumani-Chan, Sweetyface
[quoted text clipped - 32 lines]
>
> --Fil

LOL..good one :)
Kyla

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Marina - 19 Apr 2008 04:44 GMT

Wanted: Miranda
Know Aliases: Mir-Mir, Mere, Mirs, Slinky
Crime: Multiple murder; Stringing along
Modus operandi: digging soil out of flower pots, thereby cruelly
depriving said plants of their living environment; pullign string along
behind her while looking back at the other end of the string which must
hold sinister meaning
Reward offered by: Plant-growers' association; Shoestring factory

Wanted: Caliban
Known Aliases: Cali-Cali, Klabben
Crime: Theft; Hazard to public health
Modus operandi: Charging other cat's food dish while other cat eating,
shooting out paw and snagging pieces of food. Snagging pieces of food
from human's plate. Digging in trash for anything remotely edible.
Opening cupboards to rummage for anything remotely edible. Stealing
human's heart by looking at her with huge innocent eyes and purring like
outboard engine.
Reward offered by: Human who wants him all the same

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Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

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bastXXXette@sonic.net - 19 Apr 2008 08:12 GMT

> Known Aliases: Cali-Cali, Klabben

Klabben, that's a cute nickname.

> Stealing
> human's heart by looking at her with huge innocent eyes and purring like
> outboard engine.
> Reward offered by: Human who wants him all the same

Awww...

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Joyce

To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^

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Marina - 19 Apr 2008 09:19 GMT

> > Known Aliases: Cali-Cali, Klabben
>
> Klabben, that's a cute nickname.

May sound cute. :P It means (fire)wood in Swedish. Let's put it this
way: it's not very flattering to Caliban's intelligence. Of course, I'm
the one who is suckered by his innocence act, so who's to say who the
intelligent one is? ;)

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Marina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

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Enfilade - 19 Apr 2008 17:53 GMT

I LOVE yours Marina! Firewood, that's funny. Poor Caliban. On the
other hand, he's being spoiled rotten by you so who's the dumb one
now? It's like when we see Smokey passed out on the chair reveling in
being useless, we think, that's a cat that's got everything he ever
wanted, why should he have to do anything else?

Nox wants to put up a poster:

UNwanted: Smokey....

--Fil

> May sound cute. :P It means (fire)wood in Swedish. Let's put it this
> way: it's not very flattering to Caliban's intelligence. Of course, I'm
> the one who is suckered by his innocence act, so who's to say who the
> intelligent one is? ;)

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Lesley - 20 Apr 2008 20:11 GMT

It's like when we see Smokey passed out on the chair reveling in

> being useless, we think, that's a cat that's got everything he ever
> wanted, why should he have to do anything else?

As I often wonder when it's 7am, cold, wet and miserable out and I am
sitting in the living room getting dressed for another daily grind so
I can keep a roof over the cats head, feed them etc and I can see
Sarsi snoring happily on Dave's wheelchair with nothing more to
consider than breakfats will be soon and then maybe later she'll have
a nice stretch and snooze in the hallway where the Sun comes through
the bathroom window

"Remind me again- which one of us is supposed to be the more
intelligent species?"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

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