Guess I will have to start reading daily so I can keep the craziness at
bay.  Oh, wait a minute, I *am* crazy, so I guess that won't work ;-)

Anyway, here I am, still not used to this new reader and addresses, so
sorry if it keeps switching until I get used to it and remember which
one I want to use!

I am feeling a little better, thanks to all of you, and Julie's boss'
second opinion (mostly same as the first, but a little less nasty), a
bit of spring *trying* to break into the air (though not today; today is
freezing, and cats are still lounging on the bed in spite of me turning
up the heat some two hours ago).  I really appreciate the seeds and
bulbs that were sent, and I am really getting excited about being able
to plant a garden in May.  I am going to do it in concert with my
next-door-neighbor, who is a kind lady; she is bipolar and lives with a
#$%&^**^#^#$ that emotionally abuses her and (tries to) control(s) her.
 But we shall ignore him for now.  I think this will be a wonderful
thing for both of us and will lift both our spirits.  Believe it or not,
DH has even agreed to come over with his roommate's rake and help clean
up the yard for planting!  Will wonders never cease?  Actually, since he
moved out, he is much nicer.  And it is much nicer for me not having to
listen to constant emotional crap on a daily basis.

I am still overwhelmed with all the financial mess and things I have to
deal with.  But you guys have helped (thank you, thank you, thank you!),
and I saw a new psychologist yesterday who I just fell in love with.  I
think she is really going to help me through this emotionally, and, most
importantly, she is a cat person, too :-)

I went to the bank the other day, and was pretty depressed.  The teller
said "You like tired".  I explained that I was going through a divorce,
and she said she'd just been through one a year and a half ago.
Somehow, we got around to cats.  "Are you a crazy cat lady?" she asked.
 "Sure am!" I answered.  "So I am!" she answered.  I showed her
pictures of my guys (of course), and it turns out she lives close by.  I
doubt it will go anywhere, but who knows?  Maybe I just made a new
friend, at the bank of all places.  At least it's good to know there's
another Crazy Cat Lady in the neighborhood :-)

I am so sorry to see all the sad losses and sicknesses :-(  I know how
much you are all hurting; it's hell, and there is no way to just feel
better and not go through that terrible grief and pain.  My heart is
with you, and I know and you know that one day, this terrible pain will
end, and you will start smiling again when you think of your furkids.
The unbelievable pain when we lose them is beyond description; yet the
joy that they give us, the love, always outweighs that pain in the end.

I know I will be in that terrible black hole some day again, many times.
 With two elderly cats with health problems, there is no way to avoid
it.  And you can never prepare for it.  I just bless every day I have
with Cosmo and Internet, and all the rest, too.

My newest baby, ShadowCat (FKA* "Pinky") is turning out to be one great
cat -- and one huge one!  He has grown to the point where he towers over
Internet, Arthur and Jack.  He's not fat at all; he's very tall, and
long and still has very sleek, shiny, beautiful black fur.  He made his
point early on by smacking around all the other cats, and now that he's
a bit older, he has calmed down, understanding that he doesn't have to
be a bully with these guys.  So he is fitting right in.  He still plays
rough with Jack sometimes, but that's okay -- Jack likes it that way.  lol!

I've had to switch them to cheaper food because of my situation.  I hate
feeding them cheap dry food (Friskies), but *they* certainly are glad I
switched.  They are sucking it down like crazy.  And Cosmo absolutely
loves Purina One, which is the closest I can get to a reasonably-priced
urinary diet.  He has started eating like he hasn't in awhile, and I am
sure he will pick up some of the weight he lost over the past year or
so, which is a Very Good Thing.

I am going to turn things around, somehow.  I am not going to let you
guys down if I have anything to say about it.

Oh, well, I am just rambling, so thanks for your patience, and for
everything else.

Ginger-lyn

*Formerly Known As