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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / March 2008Feeling lonely today...
Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, "She seemed like an OK person, I guess, but I didn't know her very well..." I'm not someone to be remembered with fondness or respect, like anything I contribute to the world is worthwhile. Not that anyone would say anything really bad either, it's just a whole lot of nothing. I feel like a ghost, invisible, inaudible, insubstantial, floating through other people's rooms, as they eat and drink together, hug and kiss, fight and make up, live together, matter to each other. I once had that, but have lost nearly all the people who used to care about me. I don't know what went wrong. I wonder if I'll ever be part of another human's life again. Did I do this? Is it my fault? Do I deserve it? I swear, if I'd had any idea at age 20 that this was how I'd end up... not sure I would've had the strength to go on. And these aren't even "real problems" that most people can understand. You know, like being broke, or getting dumped by one's husband, or having one's parent die. Real problems, that make you feel sorry for the person, in a respectful way. The kind that make you think, "Wow, what a pillar of strength, to be going through all that." But most of my problems are in my head. They got planted there 50-odd years ago, back when I had a Real Problem and was being abused at home. Do I still have the right to complain? Do I still deserve any compassion? Is there a statute of limitations on parental abuse, the Gift That Keeps On Giving? And yes, I'm taking my medication on time... Too self-hating even to sign my name  SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. . . Joyce, You have a name and should never be ashamed of it! I know I'm very new to this group and you don't know me but what I've seen from your posts, you are a very warm, caring, thoughtful, intelligent person. I think you have many good friends on this group. I know you were very warm and welcoming when I first introduced myself and I appreciated that so much. Sometimes it is so hard to turn off that voice in your mind that says so many negative things--I struggle with depression and loneliness, too, and can totally relate to what you're saying, but I doubt if other people see you that way. It's difficult to see what impact we might make on others but we are usually much harder on ourselves than others may be. Please know that people care about you, you are special and unique and owe it to yourself to be kind to yourself. Off my soapbox and sending some warm comforting purrs. Bonnie We all have bad days and holidays are my downfall. This is the first time in nearly 40 years I haven't had a house full of people to feed, egg hunts to plan etc. My son lives down the street but his family all have the flu and running temps. He brought me a plate of food, set it on the table and said "I got to get back". I cried for half an hour. Better tears than the flu but, still a bummer. Don't fret, the sun will come out again for you. Yes, we would miss you and always use your name. Grab your elbows, squeeze really tight and give yourself a Gramby hug. This is what I told my kinds when they were in service and they said it came in handy several times. Helen Steiner Rice said "the bend in the road is not the end of the road". Keep trying, that's all any of us can do. To old to get on a soap box so will sit down and shut up. Gramby >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. . . > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > Bonnie > You have a name and should never be ashamed of it! I know I'm very new to > this group and you don't know me but what I've seen from your posts, you are > a very warm, caring, thoughtful, intelligent person. Thanks, Bonnie. I've been sick the past week, and have spent an incredible amount of time by myself. I had to cancel a few social plans, missed work for a day, and just hung around either sleeping, getting on the computer, or watching TV. I think it's been too much isolation. Isolation makes me funny in the head. I get very depressed. And then, as Pam reminded me, it is a holiday today, which I had forgotten about because it's not one I have ever celebrated. Still, I might have been a bit more aware of my surroundings if I'd been out in the world a little more this week. So too much isolation also makes me a bit dense. > Sometimes it is so hard to turn off that voice in your mind that says so > many negative things--I struggle with depression and loneliness, too, and > can totally relate to what you're saying, but I doubt if other people see > you that way. It's difficult to see what impact we might make on others but > we are usually much harder on ourselves than others may be. > Please know that people care about you, you are special and unique and owe > it to yourself to be kind to yourself. > Off my soapbox and sending some warm comforting purrs. Thanks again for your kind thoughts. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > > You have a name and should never be ashamed of it! I know I'm very new > > to [quoted text clipped - 35 lines] > > Joyce Wishing for you to feel better soon, both physically and mentally. I know I don't handle being home for long stretches very well. I spend very much time alone and its like I start to have some sort of personality disintegration. I manage my free time much better when I don't have too much of it. Jo > Wishing for you to feel better soon, both physically and mentally. > I know I don't handle being home for long stretches very well. I spend very > much time alone and its like I start to have some sort of personality > disintegration. Exactly!! I can't possibly put it better than that. Thanks for the well-wishes. I have some social plans for the upcoming week, which I plan to *keep* this time. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. "Jo Firey" > <bastXXXette >> 22brix [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jo Okay, all the lonely people are invited over to Kyla's for lattes, tea, or whatever and we'll play cards or something:) Howzat? I get really lonely too because I can't get out much and I'm going stir crazy. Kyla and the 4 Cats...cursing at the pooter :/ Joyce, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can't even comprehend what you went through, but I assure you that anyone who has ever been subjected to abuse has my complete sympathy. That *is* a real problem, even if it did occur 50-odd years ago. As you indicate, something like that is something that never really goes away. I enjoy your posts and admire your caring about cats, both yours and others. Your cats love and need you. Anybody who cares and loves that much is a worthwhile person. Maybe you should call your doctor. It's possible that your medication might need adjusting or even changing. Please don't give up on yourself. (((((((((((Joyce)))))))))))) Joy > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name > I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can't even comprehend what you went > through, but I assure you that anyone who has ever been subjected to abuse > has my complete sympathy. That *is* a real problem, even if it did occur > 50-odd years ago. As you indicate, something like that is something that > never really goes away. Mom and dad were very young when I was born, and they were both very troubled. I'm not excusing them, but I honestly don't think they wanted to harm me. My dad was a screaming rage-aholic and mom was just totally shut down and didn't know how to give affection. I suffered a lot from that, even though I really believe they couldn't have done any better. > I enjoy your posts and admire your caring about cats, both yours and > others. Your cats love and need you. Anybody who cares and loves that > much is a worthwhile person. Well, speaking of childhood, I think I must have imprinted on the household cat when I was a baby, and now I think cats are my mother. :) I've loved cats since I was old enough to have conscious thoughts. And I was lucky in that we always had pets, one dog and usually 2 or 3 cats. Kitties were the only people in my life that it was really safe to love. And they've never let me down... > Maybe you should call your doctor. It's possible that your medication > might need adjusting or even changing. Could be. And lord knows, I'm sure I could use therapy, too. My current insurance doesn't pay for it, though, isn't that terrible? And it's a bit beyond my means, if I want to stay afloat in other ways. I should talk to the folks in HR about switching to another health plan. I'm in an HMO (Kaiser, to all you Californians; to the non-USA'ans, an HMO is a mega- corporate medical institution that provides both medical care *and* medical insurance. Can you say "conflict of interest"? THe same people who are giving you care are also watching pennies? Ugh, don't get me started...) But anyway, my employer also offers a PPO - a much less restrictve health plan, which is also more expensive, but maybe at this point, worth it. > Please don't give up on yourself. Oh, no, I never do that. Not the type to jump off a building. At worst, I'll just mire in self-pity for the rest of my life and go out with a whimper. Seriously, I do appreciate your saying it. > (((((((((((Joyce)))))))))))) Thank you. :) Joyce On Mar 23, 8:44 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > Mom and dad were very young when I was born, and they were both very > troubled. I'm not excusing them, but I honestly don't think they wanted > to harm me. My dad was a screaming rage-aholic and mom was just totally > shut down and didn't know how to give affection. I suffered a lot from > that, even though I really believe they couldn't have done any better. Good on you Joyce! Understanding why a thing happened is the first step to accepting it. My mum wasn't too nice to me and for a long time I just felt like either she was "evil" or in some way I "deserved" it perhaps because I really was as stupid and ugly as she kept telling me Then i started to think she was an intelligent woman, born into a World where her only expectations were to have a husband and kids and be a housewife. She had three kids under five at one point. I'll never really know that her frequently voiced resentment of my not being a son so she had to get pregnant and go through it all again was her opinion or something she picked up from family and my dad..you know maybe my dad wasn't as much a saint as I thought he was I know in later years he could be hard to live with and for many years they had completely different interests and social circles (Dad really didn't like her best friend). I'm not even sure they were always in love with each other. I later found out when he first became ill she actually discussed divorcing him with my younger brother because she couldn't bear the idea of being stuck in the house with him And the funny thing once I accepted maybe it wasn't all her fault then I could say "Well I didn't live up to her expectations...maybe that's not my fault I couldn't be reborn as a boy for a start. I can't go back in time and change things and anyway my expectations aren't hers so isn;t it time I started to live up to my expectations instead of trying to be something I'm not" Very liberating As the old prayer goes "Lord give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change and the courage to change what I can" Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs On Mar 23, 5:45 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Hey, Joyce, I don't how to snip & all that so your whole post is here. Never learned to "cut and paste" either.....like, *so what?" You have been a reg on this ng a helluva long time and not only do I like you and respect you, I consider you one of the more intelligent worth responding to. I'm unable to do anything about your memories of unpleasant childhood and I can relate to them, but not in the same manner - either the memories or the people we are now because of them. Sometimes we need to know that we are liked, worth much to our friends; you have stated before that you are kinda a loner socially. I didn't know that you write stuff and that to me means you have a good imagination. I, otoh, have almost no imagination, and the only writing I do is here or on the other ng's (none of which have the remotest to do with cats) I frequent; for that I envy you. Yes, you are envied. In spite of our memories I would like to remind you what some famous dude said a long time ago - I don't think it was Caesar, not that long ago - 'Never apologize; never explain'. harsh but this guy was a big success at whatever he was into then. I never need these but here's one for you from hopitua....((((Joyce)))). Looking forward to the night that is different from all other nights...... My high point about abuse is this. Most of the handicapped people, I know others too but have to speak wherein I know the best, that have been abused only have this to look forward too. I am now old enough that I have outlived the family, teachers and others that hurt me, put me down etc. I survived it all and they are dead and can't hurt me anymore. Now, I try to look out for others when I can. I turned out pretty decent in spite of them not because of them. Not easy but I am me, like me or not. Hang in there, it doesn't necessarily get easier but you have to find your footing and it may just be in surviving. I thought I was going to sit down and shut up. Sorry. On Mar 23, 5:45 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Hey, Joyce, I don't how to snip & all that so your whole post is here. Never learned to "cut and paste" either.....like, *so what?" You have been a reg on this ng a helluva long time and not only do I like you and respect you, I consider you one of the more intelligent worth responding to. I'm unable to do anything about your memories of unpleasant childhood and I can relate to them, but not in the same manner - either the memories or the people we are now because of them. Sometimes we need to know that we are liked, worth much to our friends; you have stated before that you are kinda a loner socially. I didn't know that you write stuff and that to me means you have a good imagination. I, otoh, have almost no imagination, and the only writing I do is here or on the other ng's (none of which have the remotest to do with cats) I frequent; for that I envy you. Yes, you are envied. In spite of our memories I would like to remind you what some famous dude said a long time ago - I don't think it was Caesar, not that long ago - 'Never apologize; never explain'. harsh but this guy was a big success at whatever he was into then. I never need these but here's one for you from hopitua....((((Joyce)))). Looking forward to the night that is different from all other nights...... > My high point about abuse is this. Most of the handicapped people, I know > others too but have to speak wherein I know the best, that have been abused [quoted text clipped - 77 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Dunno how my long post got on here again....but you don't have to shut up, much less siddown. You are perfectly right; what you see is what you get at this stage of life and if anyone doesn't like it, what of it, anyway? I have a vision problem much less serious than yours and am grateful to be able to see since we have two eyes, not only one...if medical science got as much funding and paid as much attention to opthalmic cures as spent on 'E.D.' LOL male egos so fragile that's what they call it on tv ads; initials for their problem instead of its real name - our vision might improve in this lifetime, huh? Now you will think I am nuts but, my near blindness has been my salvation. Given where I was born and raised, for the most part, if I had stayed there I could have been one of those barefoot and a dozen kids kind of person. Instead, I have had some collage , have worked for 23 years, raised a family. Haven't seen much of the world but not dead yet so, where there is life, there is hope. There isn't anything that can be medically done for me but I have learned so much, love my cats and waiting for the hummingbirds to come back. It is what it is and that isn't bad for now. On Mar 23, 6:19 pm, "Granby" <s...@joink.com> wrote: > My high point about abuse is this. Most of the handicapped people, I know > others too but have to speak wherein I know the best, that have been [quoted text clipped - 83 lines] > > - Show quoted text - Dunno how my long post got on here again....but you don't have to shut up, much less siddown. You are perfectly right; what you see is what you get at this stage of life and if anyone doesn't like it, what of it, anyway? I have a vision problem much less serious than yours and am grateful to be able to see since we have two eyes, not only one...if medical science got as much funding and paid as much attention to opthalmic cures as spent on 'E.D.' LOL male egos so fragile that's what they call it on tv ads; initials for their problem instead of its real name - our vision might improve in this lifetime, huh? > You have been a reg on this ng a helluva long time That is true. > and not only do I like you and respect you, > I consider you one of the more intelligent worth responding to. Thanks for saying this. > Sometimes we need to know that > we are liked, worth much to our friends; you have stated before that > you are kinda a loner socially. I do sometimes need to hear this, yes. And I do have a terrible habit of isolating from others, which I don't think is good for me. As I wrote in another post, > I didn't know that you write stuff and that to me > means you have a good imagination. Did I say I wrote stuff? <scratching head> I used to write songs, but haven't in a long time. (Now I'm wondering what other things I've said about myself that I can't remember...) > In spite of our memories I would like to remind you what some > famous dude said a long time ago - I don't think it was Caesar, not [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > one > for you from hopitua....((((Joyce)))). Hopitus, you're a trip. :) I think you could write stream-of-consciousness gonzo stories. :) > Looking forward to the night that is > different from all other nights...... Yeah, I am going to two this year. And that is my limit! One year I went to 3, that was too many. How many times can you leave Egypt??? :) Thanks for posting. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. On Mar 23, 9:50 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > > You have been a reg on this ng a helluva long time > [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Don't forget the Queen who did a number on Haman...I love hamantashen...its about time if not recently over datewise. {{{{{{{{{{{{{Joyce}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com > {{{{{{{{{{{{{Joyce}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks, Victor. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, > "She seemed like an OK person, I guess, but I didn't know her very > well..." I'm not someone to be remembered with fondness or respect, > like anything I contribute to the world is worthwhile. Not that anyone > would say anything really bad either, it's just a whole lot of nothing. ((((Joyce)))) There is a song in the play/movie 1776 that is sung by John Adams that starts "Is any body there? Does any body care? Does any body see what I see?" John Adams dealt with self esteem issues all of his life. He felt as though he wasn't good enough, smart enough, likable enough, strong enough, pious enough and so forth. He was a visionary who didn't think that others would want or understand his visions. I think we can agree that Adams was a remarkable man who believed in his convictions and carried them through. Yet he still didn't think he was worthy. Even if you weren't one of the more thoughtful and kind persons in here, you would be worthy. However, your insightfulness and caring makes you one of the most interesting people in here. Girl, you are wonderful and we all love you. It is a holiday, for some reason this makes most of us take a look inside and not necessarily like what we see. Not only that, but you're doing the alone thing and that always makes one vulnerable. There is no way you would be remembered in here as an OK person. You'll be remembered as being wonderful. Just make sure that someone lets us know when you croak off about thirty years from now. Rob and I had our first holiday without family, a big family meal, and prezzies. I cried. I felt as though I were abandoned and would never have a holiday gathering ever again. Next holiday (Mother's day?) I want to get together with cat friends at a restaurant and party out. I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are any people up there who want to join us. Dutch of course, pictures of the owners mandatory, no sushi or strange foods. Olive Garden, Barbeque ok (Smokey Bones in the Triangle?) whatever we can work out. If I can't get anyone up in the Triangle to celebrate Mother's day with me, I'll have to cruise to the mid west and see if anyone up there would like to get together. Pam S. who refuses to let her holiday depression get her down > There is a song in the play/movie 1776 that is sung by John Adams that > starts > "Is any body there? > Does any body care? > Does any body see what I see?" > John Adams dealt with self esteem issues all of his life. He felt as though > he wasn't good enough, smart enough, likable enough, strong enough, pious > enough and so forth. He was a visionary who didn't think that others would > want or understand his visions. I think we can agree that Adams was a > remarkable man who believed in his convictions and carried them through. > Yet he still didn't think he was worthy. I didn't know this about him, thanks for telling me about that. > It is a holiday, for some reason this makes most of us take a look > inside and not necessarily like what we see. Not only that, but you're > doing the alone thing and that always makes one vulnerable. I forgot that it was a holiday, maybe that's why nobody's around. (Duh...) I went to the pet food store where the rescue group does the mobile adoptions, to visit Everett (and all the other kitties), and nobody was there, the store was closed. I didn't realize regular stores closed for Easter. I can certainly understand that the feral-rescue volunteers probably had plans, so they didn't do the mobile, but the store? Well, whatever, I missed seeing my little white kitten-boy with the stripey tail. (Last week he let me hold him for a long time, and he purred away.) > There is no way you would be remembered in here as an OK person. > You'll be remembered as being wonderful. OK, now I'm crying... > Rob and I had our first holiday without family, a big family meal, and > prezzies. I cried. I felt as though I were abandoned and would never have > a holiday gathering ever again. I'm sorry it was like that. Big family gatherings - when you like your family, that is - can be so gratifiying, and give you such a sense of belonging. So it's really hard when it doesn't come together. I hope next year is better! > Pam S. who refuses to let her holiday depression get her down Good for you! And thanks... Joyce (back to acknowledging I have a name) with cuddly Roxy SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > > There is a song in the play/movie 1776 that is sung by John Adams that > > starts [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] > > Joyce (back to acknowledging I have a name) with cuddly Roxy Correcting a dumb mistake: (((((((((((((((((((Joyce)))))))))))))))))))))) We meant the hugs and purrs, whatever your @#$! name is! SignatureTheresa, Stinky and Dante drtmuirATearthlink.net > I didn't know this about him, thanks for telling me about that. I didn't either. I'm not a big fan of biographies, but I think I'll have to read about Adams. > I forgot that it was a holiday, maybe that's why nobody's around. > (Duh...) We did the same. We go out to breakfast every Sunday, usually to the little diner on the town square. Yesterday they were closed, so we had to run down to the Perkins by the interstate. When dinner time rolled around I most definitely did NOT feel like cooking so I thought I'd run over to Subway or Quiznos. Nope, they were closed to. Things are a lot different living in a little town in the midwest than they were in southern California. > > There is no way you would be remembered in here as an OK person. > > You'll be remembered as being wonderful. I'll second that. > > Rob and I had our first holiday without family, a big family meal, > > and prezzies. I cried. I felt as though I were abandoned and would > > never have a holiday gathering ever again. I never really experienced that. One of the things that makes me strange is that I can't deal with groups. Not even large groups of family (not that that's been an issue, since I have very few family left). But any group of more than 3 or 4 other people will make me so uneasy that I'll become physically ill. Dan >> I didn't know this about him, thanks for telling me about that. > [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Things are a lot different living in a little town in the midwest than > they were in southern California. Different here in South Carolina, too, although I suppose if I was closer to a big city things would have been open. The grocery stores in the Memphis area are open at least half a day on all holidays so people can pick up last minute "oops! I forgot!" things. Not so here. Most restaurants are also open back home (except perhaps mom & pop type places). >> > There is no way you would be remembered in here as an OK person. >> > You'll be remembered as being wonderful. > > I'll second that. I second it, too! >> > Rob and I had our first holiday without family, a big family meal, >> > and prezzies. I cried. I felt as though I were abandoned and [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > Dan I can only take groups of people for short periods of time. Doesn't make me anxious or ill, I just prefer things to be quiet :) Jill "jmcquown" ... >>> I didn't know this about him, thanks for telling me about that. >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >> rolled around I most definitely did NOT feel like cooking so I >> thought I'd run over to Subway or Quiznos. Nope, they were closed too . Was there 'anything' open? >> Things are a lot different living in a little town in the midwest than >> they were in southern California. [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > pick up last minute "oops! I forgot!" things. Not so here. Most > restaurants are also open back home (except perhaps mom & pop type places) Yeah, the grocery store pay double time here if they work holidays. >>> > There is no way you would be remembered in here as an OK person. >>> > You'll be remembered as being wonderful. >> >> I'll second that. >> > I second it, too! I'll third that:) >>> > Rob and I had our first holiday without family, a big family meal, >>> > and prezzies. I cried. I felt as though I were abandoned and >>> would > never have a holiday gathering ever again. *sigh* remembering the big family gatherings of yester-year. I was qiote the cook back in the day, and I'd bring something and my b*****d ex always yelled at me for trying to out do 'his' family. >> I never really experienced that. One of the things that makes me >> strange is that I can't deal with groups. Not even large groups of [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> >> Dan Wow, that bad huh? Well, as far as family goes, I only have my 2 sisters, and I have to tell you one of my BIL's sings in The Mormon Tabernacle Choir <G> Then I have my 2 grown daughters and will have 8 grandkids next month when my youngest has her 6th. They all live out of state from me, but my youngest sister, who I asked for purrs for awhile back, and I talked for about 2 hours today. > I can only take groups of people for short periods of time. Doesn't make > me anxious or ill, I just prefer things to be quiet :) > > Jill Yeah, me too, but once a month they throw a pot luck brunch at the Club House, which we usually go to. Last one was before St Patrick's Day and we took cornbread. *looks out the window*...dayHam...it's snowing.. I should ping sam, he lives just a couple of miles from me:) Hug Kyla --flakes are gettin bigger <snip> > I want to get together with cat friends at a restaurant and > party out. I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go > back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are > any people up there who want to join us. Dutch of course, pictures of > the owners mandatory, no sushi or strange foods. Oh No! Is this the end of a beautiful friendship? Could I possibly have the strength to be <gasp> still friends with <shock horror!> someone who <dramatic drumroll> *doesn't* like Sushi???? <dadadadum> <Swoon> How will I ever survive? </swoon> > Olive Garden, > Barbeque ok (Smokey Bones in the Triangle?) whatever we can work > out. If I can't get anyone up in the Triangle to celebrate Mother's > day with me, I'll have to cruise to the mid west and see if anyone up > there would like to get together. Anyone know how to get a video conference together? Yowie >> I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go >> back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are >> any people up there who want to join us. Dutch of course, pictures of >> the owners mandatory, no sushi or strange foods. > Oh No! Is this the end of a beautiful friendship? Could I possibly have the > strength to be <gasp> still friends with <shock horror!> someone who > <dramatic drumroll> *doesn't* like Sushi???? <dadadadum> > <Swoon> How will I ever survive? </swoon> I refuse to eat sushi, also. Does this mean I lose my geek card? :) (If I ever had one, that is... I also don't like Iron Chef, manga, WoW, or anime. Well, except for Miyazaki, does that even count? :)) I won't eat sushi because I'm paranoid about germs. I love Japanese food, as long as it's cooked. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. >>> I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go >>> back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Joyce Sushi is actually vinegared rice topped with fish, usually but not always cooked. Sashimi is raw fish. Having said that, I don't care for either one :) Jill Lee and her DH love Sushi, I don't and we are still friends. There is common ground to work out this culinary difference!!!! >>>> I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go >>>> back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > Jill > Lee and her DH love Sushi, I don't and we are still friends. There is > common ground to work out this culinary difference!!!! Charlie won't eat Sushi. Otherwise he loves Japanese food. But for some reason, he seems to like that I like sushi. He introduced me to it and he is the one that finds good places to get it. (Our local Buddhist church sells sushi box lunches twice a year) He always finds the good sushi and sashimi places for me when we travel. He will also take me to the caviar place in Las Vegas, and he won't touch the stuff. Jo He > will also take me to the caviar place in Las Vegas, and he won't touch the > stuff. With Charlie on both sushi and caviar but especially caviar! Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs well I just figure you can't be perfect, Lee > Lee and her DH love Sushi, I don't and we are still friends. There is > common ground to work out this culinary difference!!!! [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > > > Jill >> I refuse to eat sushi, also. Does this mean I lose my geek card? :) > Sushi is actually vinegared rice topped with fish, usually but not always > cooked. Sashimi is raw fish. Having said that, I don't care for either one > :) Actually, I *love* vegetarian sushi. I love the rice, seaweed, and wasabi, and have really liked some of the fillings, such as tofu, yam, cucumber, and other interesting stuff. And I can't say that I dislike raw fish, since I haven't tried it. The idea grosses me out. The grossness factor aside, I would probably not dislike it, since I do like lox (smoked salmon). Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > >> I refuse to eat sushi, also. Does this mean I lose my geek card? :) > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Joyce I have never been a fan of any type of raw meat "Matthew" > > <bastXXXette >> jmcquown <>> >> >> I refuse to eat sushi, also. Does this mean I lose my geek card? :) >> [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] >> >> Joyce Ooooo bagels and lox, YUM!! But do NOT get near a raw oyster. Gak > I have never been a fan of any type of raw meat Me neither d00d :p It's not good for you either. Kyla --trying to figure out what to fix for dinner On Mar 24, 3:34 am, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > > tanadashoes wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > Joyce Heh. I'm paranoid about anything edible. I even trashed an egg coloring kit I'd bought. (yes, the cats love to color Easter eggs)....because I noticed it said "Made in China". They were out of the PAAS brand. My imagination went amok thinking about lead, melamine, etc. etc. Sherry <snip> > >> I'll get a hotel room for us so that we don't have to go > >> back to Fayetteville and take the party to the Triangle if there are > >> any people up there who want to join us. Dutch of course, pictures of > >> the owners mandatory, no sushi or strange foods. > I won't eat sushi because I'm paranoid about germs. I love Japanese > food, as long as it's cooked. > > Joyce No sushi - not now, not ever. Went to a Japanese restaurant in Georgia where I was the only one eating chicken (cooked) & rice; the rest were having plates of amazing bits & pieces. One fellow persuaded me to at least try a bite of his seaweed and I found myself chewing what seemed to be a piece of green Brillo pad (it never got any smaller - do you suppose it was a bit of plastic decoration? :) Lorna (Chessie & Nikki - who would probably love sushi) > No sushi - not now, not ever. Went to a Japanese restaurant in Georgia > where I was the only one eating chicken (cooked) & rice; the rest were [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > a bit of plastic decoration? :) > Lorna (Chessie & Nikki - who would probably love sushi) No kidding (on the cats). Did anyone see the movie Cast Away, with Tom Hanks? The one where his plane crashes in a big storm in the South Pacific, near an island. He lives 4 years on the island with no other human beings present, and learns to subsist on his own. He eats a lot of raw fish. After he's rescued, the company he worked for (Fed Express) gives him this big welcome home party. He wanders around the buffet table checking out the enormous spread, and pauses briefly before passing on the sushi. :) Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. <bastXXXette... > Lorna <> > > No sushi - not now, not ever. Went to a Japanese restaurant in Georgia [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > lives 4 years on the island with no other human beings present, and > learns to subsist on his own. He eats a lot of raw fish. Saw that movie and loved it. WILSON!!!! > After he's rescued, the company he worked for (Fed Express) gives him > this big welcome home party. He wanders around the buffet table checking > out the enormous spread, and pauses briefly before passing on the sushi. > :) > > Joyce LOL...right ON:) Kyla >> Did anyone see the movie Cast Away, with Tom Hanks? The one where his >> plane crashes in a big storm in the South Pacific, near an island. He >> lives 4 years on the island with no other human beings present, and >> learns to subsist on his own. He eats a lot of raw fish. > Saw that movie and loved it. WILSON!!!! LOL, exactly. I remember when I first saw that movie, I couldn't understand how he would think that talking to a volleyball would give him any of the satisfaction of relating to another human. But that was before I lived alone for 8 or 9 years. :) I now have many deep conversations with the windshield in my car. OK, the windshield does all the listening. And it does get an earful. Also of course, I carry on at the furballs, but that's almost normal. :) Joyce [doesn't matter] Whoops, I started a new thread because I meant to say something unrelated to the sushi thread, and then I forgot to say it. And that is, that I have a mug that a friend gave me, as a thank- you for taking care of her cat while she was away, that says, "Mosey, the Kennedy Center Cat". I don't know this cat, nor do I know where the Kennedy Center is - NYC, maybe? Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. <bastXXXette> > [doesn't matter] Oh, pfpft, it was funny, silly you :) > Whoops, I started a new thread because I meant to say something > unrelated to the sushi thread, and then I forgot to say it. in my best Steve martin...ohhhhh noooooooo, not that! > And that is, that I have a mug that a friend gave me, as a thank- > you for taking care of her cat while she was away, that says, "Mosey, > the Kennedy Center Cat". I don't know this cat, nor do I know where > the Kennedy Center is - NYC, maybe? > > Joyce I just told Mosey that and he said to tell you that is his great unkle Mosey indeed, and he wouldn't lie about a thing like that. cats don't lie, do they? Hey, e-mail me your snail mail addy and I'l sned you a 'really' cute Mosey card:) Hug Kyla kylawaterman@yahoo.com I tried to e-mail you from my Outlook e-mail but it bounced back :/ *throws laptop out into the pouring rain*... there, that'll fix it!! <G> >>> Did anyone see the movie Cast Away, with Tom Hanks? The one where >>> his plane crashes in a big storm in the South Pacific, near an [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Joyce I have it on DVD, I'll have to watch it again. The bit I remember most is when the plane explodes, it gives the sub-woofer a good workout. :-) SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) Cats leave pawprints on your heart http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk <bastXXXette > Mosey =^..^= > >> Did anyone see the movie Cast Away, with Tom Hanks? The one where his [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > windshield in my car. OK, the windshield does all the listening. And > it does get an earful. LOL, do you ever 'synch' the windshield wipers with the tunes you're listening to? Hmmm, I have deep conversations with my knees <G> Also of course, I carry on at the furballs, but > that's almost normal. :) nodnodnod yup, me too. Do yours answer you back? Mine do, well depending on the 'subect' > Joyce Hug Kyla On Mar 23, 10:49 pm, "Yowie" <yowie9644.DIESPAM...@yahoo.com.au> wrote: > Oh No! Is this the end of a beautiful friendship? Could I possibly have the > strength to be <gasp> still friends with <shock horror!> someone who > <dramatic drumroll> *doesn't* like Sushi???? <dadadadum> Hmm sorry Yowie...can't stand the stuff- can we still be friends? Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs On Mar 23, 6:45 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Joyce! This is not like you. I am concerned. Unfortunately, I can identify with your Real Problem. Don't think you're alone in that. I'd like to see the percentages--it is far higher than you or I would ever dream. If you ever wanna exchange notes, e-mail me. I'm a good ear and know how to be discreet. Best, Sherry "Sherry" < On Mar 23, 6:45 pm, bastXXXe: > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Joyce! This is not like you. I am concerned. Unfortunately, I can identify with your Real Problem. Don't think you're alone in that. I'd like to see the percentages--its far higher than you or I would ever dream. If you ever wanna exchange notes, e-mail me. I'm a good ear and know how to be discreet. Best, Sherry I'm agreeing with you Sherry, and I want you both to know, you are more than welcome to e-mail me as well. I know how you both feel. And I'm discreet as well as a good listener. Hugs Kyla > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name ((((((((((((((((((((Joy))))))))))))))))))))) SignatureTheresa, Stinky and Dante drtmuirATearthlink.net > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Joyce, you are an important member of this group and I always look forward to your posts, though I may not always respond to them. Others have said this so much better than me, so I'll just add my hugs {{{Joyce}}} and purrs. SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. "Marina" > bastXXXette: >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. I can SO relate sweetie > Joyce, you are an important member of this group and I always look forward > to your posts, though I may not always respond to them. Others have said > this so much better than me, so I'll just add my hugs {{{Joyce}}} and > purrs. I totally agree :) ((((Joyce))) and puuuuuurs Kyla --and Mosey > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > And yes, I'm taking my medication on time... Joyce, you matter. Would I, or anyone else who has or will repy to your post, waste the time it takes to think of something, to type it out, and to hit send if you didn't matter? If you meant nothing to anyone? There is no statue of limiation of parental abuse. I am really sorry you went through it. I don't know of any practical way I can help, but you know my inbox is always open (As is RPCA & Catslaves) and I guess I'll have to come round and Kipper you as well. Please get in line behind Pam :-). Anyone else need a good Kippering? Yowie "Yowie" > bastXXXette >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > > Yowie Kyla raises hand... I went thru the same thing of parental abuse when I was a teenager, and have felt the VERY same way that she has...it's hard to get over, it really is. Hug Kyla > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name {{{{{{{{{{{{ Joyce }}}}}}}}}}}} SignatureAdrian there is no statute of limitation on hurt, and if its a problem for you its a real problem, no matter where it started or where it lands, the key for me is acknowledging it and putting one foot in front of the other and moving... not necessarily on but keep moving, eventually you get different feelings, maybe not happy but different, Lee > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > -- > To send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. Sent reply via e-mail. Dan > Sent reply via e-mail. Got it, thanks! Will reply via email. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. <bastXXXette > Daniel Mahoney > > > Sent reply via e-mail. > > Got it, thanks! Will reply via email. > > Joyce I tried to e-mail you but it bounced hugher than my reality check :/ Soooo here we go again with the alternate addy again. *rolls eyes* Kyla kylawaterman@yahoo.com > <bastXXXette > > Daniel Mahoney > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > > > Joyce > I tried to e-mail you but it bounced hugher than my reality check :/ > Soooo here we go again with the alternate addy again. > *rolls eyes* That's because you have to "remove the XXX from my name" (bastXXXette) before sending... try again that way. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name {{{{{{{{{{Joyce}}}}}}}}}} Aw sweetie, I wish I were there to give you real hugs. You have no idea the positive impact you have on the world. Your warmth, sincerity and caring are felt by people all over the planet - and you manage to do that with nothing more than a keyboard, so the power for good you have is unimaginably strong! I suffer from depression too (although mine is situational, not chemical). There were times when I was at the brink and you were one of the ones to reach out a hand to help me back. I know how the past can haunt you (with me it's more the things I did than the things that were done to me, so it's me who's to blame). Unfortunately, there isn't any way we can go back and change what happened, we can only gather up our courage and go on. Just know that you don't have to go on alone - there are people here who will be with you in spirit and who are praying for you to find the courage to go on. Hugs, CatNipped "CatNipped" < > <bastXXXette >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > CatNipped Piggybacking here..I couldn'tve said it better Hugs Kyla On Mar 23, 4:45 pm, bastXXXe...@sonic.net wrote: Do I still > have the right to complain? Do I still deserve any compassion? Is there > a statute of limitations on parental abuse, the Gift That Keeps On > Giving? You complain all you want to there is no statute of limitations on what parents can do to you Or as a famous poet once said: Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse They f.ck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs a nice lady wrote: Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like I could die right now, and ---------------------------------------- I am no Dr. Phil nor do I play one on T V. How is your love life? Have you confided in your b/f or husband? Maybe you need to tell them how you feel !!! ------------------------------------------------ in the bonds of the old south Michael Lane " The Confederate Soldier did not hate what was in front of him, he only fought to protect what was behind him." > a nice lady wrote: >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. > I am no Dr. Phil nor do I play one on T V. > How is your love life? Have you confided in your b/f or husband? > Maybe you need to tell them how you feel !!! There is no such person... part of the problem! Joyce >> a nice lady wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Joyce Joyce, I don't know who this cheeky (read: rude) person is who dropped out of the sky with this "advice" but I'd ignore him/her. It's obviously not someone who knows anything about you. I think I've just encountered my first (in 10+ years on Usenet) WebTV troll! {{{{{{{{{{Joyce}}}}}}}}} Jill dear Joyce, Dun worry, be happy....you're not alone, when at the time like yours, I do feel the same way as yours, and I always try to thank God for what I have now coz I see many people are more miserable & suffering than I do. I'm sure you can pass through this tough time coz you are a strong person. I'm glad that you share what you feel & think in this group, that's good too for you to release "bad" things come out from ourselves. I read a book on psychology, and based on their research, writing anything that you feel or think will make soothe you & as a stress reliever, the bottom line is, good furr your health overall. Remember that our cats need us....and they love to see us happy. cheerz, -eri- Some of my cats I gathered their story & photo here at http://meaouwytroops.blogspot.com and I always been captivated by their gracefulness & mischievous, so I love to pondering about them & the relation with us at http://felinesophy.blogspot.com Dearest Joyce, feelings aren't facts. You may feel, today, as though you are a person of low esteem, but the fact is that you are a person held in high esteem here and I would venture to guess among your peers also. The other feelings that you feel today are not facts either. Many hugs (hugs are facts!) Charleen > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name > Dearest Joyce, feelings aren't facts. You may feel, today, as though > you are a person of low esteem, but the fact is that you are a person > held in high esteem here and I would venture to guess among your peers > also. The other feelings that you feel today are not facts either. > Many hugs (hugs are facts!) > Charleen Joyce, I do want to add something here even though so much has already been said. Most people who have had a positive effect on others are never lucky enough to find out about it but most good people HAVE had a positive effect on at least someone. Do not assume you have not made a tremendous improvement in someone's life simply because no one has told you. Sometimes it is people you have only "passed" for a moment. I would be very surprised if this has never happened seeing the kind of person you are. Andy "outsider" ... > "Charleen Welton" >> Dearest Joyce, feelings aren't facts. You may feel, today, as though [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > Andy *gulps* now I'm crying...see? YOU are loved and cared about:) HUG Kyla "Charleen Welton" ... > Dearest Joyce, feelings aren't facts. You may feel, today, as though you > are a person of low esteem, but the fact is that you are a person held in > high esteem here and I would venture to guess among your peers also. The > other feelings that you feel today are not facts either. > Many hugs (hugs are facts!) > Charleen Right you are Charleen. Hugs are facts and I'm a hugger as a matter of fact. HUG Kyla >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like >> I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] >> >> Too self-hating even to sign my name Joyce I know how you feel I am going thru depression right now and I am under treatment I would love to reach out and give you a great big hug than drag you out so we could go grab some coffee and get out of the house Also you may want your medication checked out sometimes the cure is just as bad as the disease > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name > Joyce I know how you feel I am going thru depression right now and I am > under treatment [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Also you may want your medication checked out sometimes the cure is just > as bad as the disease This can be particularly true if you've been ill. Had the flu or whatever. It can play havoc with any regular medication, but in particular with any mood influencing medication. Jo "Matthew" < > Joyce I know how you feel I am going thru depression right now and I am > under treatment > I would love to reach out and give you a great big hug than drag you out > so we could go grab some coffee and get out of the house C'mon over here, I have a cappuccino maker and I'll make lattes. We've got caaats <bribe bribe> > Also you may want your medication checked out sometimes the cure is just > as bad as the disease No kidding on that one. :/ Matthew, did you ever get my e-mail where I apologized? I didn't want to 'ping' you. Hug Kyla --in snow flaking Kent, Wa >> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like >> I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] >> >> Too self-hating even to sign my name > "Matthew" < >> Joyce I know how you feel I am going thru depression right now and I am [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > Kyla > --in snow flaking Kent, Wa Yes I did I thought I said that I did It was no big thing. I appreciate the card and the thoughts >>> Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like >>> I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] >>> >>> Too self-hating even to sign my name > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name > [-- multipart/alternative, encoding 7bit, 1 lines --] > [-- text/plain, encoding quoted-printable, charset: Windows-1252, 40 lines --] Unfortunately, I was unable to read this. Usually I can read posts even with HTML, so I don't know what the problem was. But thanks for the thought! :) Joyce <bastXXXette@ > NeeCee <dclere@tampabay.rr.com>: > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Joyce It was an attachemnt, I saw a paperclip up in the right window. Hmmm > <bastXXXette@ > > NeeCee <dclere@tampabay.rr.com>: > > [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > with HTML, so I don't know what the problem was. But thanks for the > > thought! :) > It was an attachemnt, I saw a paperclip up in the right window. Hmmm I can usually get most attachments, but when I tried to save this one, and then read the attachment, it told me there was no attachment... Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name Joyce, I was very concerned when I read your message. It is clear that you are depressed. If you are clinically depressed, you definitely need to seek professional help. In fact, I would guess that you have already done that since you said that you take your medication, but I think it is important for you to contact the person you have been consulting and let him or her know just how you are feeling. I don't have any magic words to make you feel better, but I do think you should know that you *do* have "real" problems. Don't put yourself down by looking for someone else with "worse" problems for a comparison. These are very real problems, and you need help because depression isn't something that a person can just "work through." Everyone is important, and the fact that you belittle yourself tells me that you need to seek additional sources of support. This newsgroup is one source. Have you considered a support group, such as those available at many hospitals? That would be another source. I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and hope you can find a way to lift your spirits. MaryL Hey, Joyce! YOU matter to all of US! We're purring and praying for you to feel better about it soon! Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe > Having a severe attack of low self-esteem and despair. Feeling like > I could die right now, and nobody would say much of anything except, [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > > Too self-hating even to sign my name I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are an important member of rpca, even if you don't feel it now. I'm sure that there are people that care for you, but when you are feeling down, you do not notice them, but they are there. I wish that you could feel surrounded by so many kind people and their kitties like I do when I read rpca. Soncek and I are thinking of you, sending you lots of feel better purrs, Polonca and Soncek
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