I'm thinking of Charleen especially here, but others have been through the
same thing, and I also speak from experience myself.

As much as we share on this here NG and other electronic media, other people
are not privvy to the minutaie of the situation, or our lives, our
relationships with our cats, and indeed, the personality of the people or
pets themselves.

It is easy to say "well, if I was in that situation, I would have....." and
go on to criticise a friend's tough decision, but really, we are in no
position to truly understand and appreciate *all* the factors that go into
the decision.

We can only trust, knowing each other as we do, that as catslaves, that the
other is doing their own best as they see fit. It may not be our own best,
we may have made different choices had we been in the same situation, but if
we have any faith in each other at all, then we need to support each other
even though perhaps we would have done things differently had we been
presented with the same situation.

Anyone who has made a heartbreaking decision is already second guessing
themselves, is already feeling guilty about not being able to make a
'better' decision, even though there is no 'better' decision to make. Those
that make a person feel even guiltier for doing the Right Thing are simply
projecting their own fear and their own guilt. They do not know the intimate
details of the situation, and are in no position to judge. And most
tellingly, when asked to do what they have just berated another person for
*not* doing, they fall oddly silent, knowing that in Reality, they are just
as powerless to stop Real Life and the tragedy that is part of it as anyone
else. What they are really railing against, it seems to me, is not the other
person's difficult decision, but rather, some decision that they have made
in the past that they still feel guilty over.

If ever in a sitiatuon where a difficult decision is required, we can only
do the best we can at the time with the resources, knowledge and capacity we
have *at that time*. It does no good to second that decisision once its
made, only to be sure that we did the best we could *at the time* with what
we had. Once you know in your heart that the decision - whatever it was -
was the 'best' it could be at the time, then please do not let anyone else's
insecurity get to you. They weren't there, they weren't the person who had
to make the decision, and they will never *ever* know all of what was going
through your head & heart at the time.

Their self righteous blathering is just a way for them to hide from their
own guilt. It means less than nothing, and thats exactly what they'll do if
asked to 'step up' and actually do what it was they demanded of you. They
are cowards, always willing to play "Monday Morning Quarterbacks", but never
willing to get out there in the mud & muck themselves.

They are not worthy of our attention. Know that you did your best, and do
not allow others to share their own guilt with you - it doesn't help them
any, and it certainly doesn't help you.

Hugs

Yowie