Sweetie,

I'm not Laurie, but like most of us in here, I opened this post.  Let me
give you a bit of a history lesson.  Back before I came in here and started
horking my hairball posts in 1998, all of the rec cat groups were jumbled
together in one big newsgroup called rec.pets.cats.  They started out as a
bunch of nice people, but the number of posts grew to the point that people
were complaining about them.  Also many people didn't like meowchat (gives
me headaches), or to read potentially gory posts about cat health, or to put
up with the maunderings of the rescue people (sorry checked it out and
didn't work for me)  Not only that but there were a lot of people who didn't
like a lot of other people and everything got really ugly.

So by mutual agreement (I understand that took months to hammer out)
rec.pets.cats decided to split up into its various factions.  There still is
rec.pets.cats, but now there is also rec.pets.cats.health+behavior (RPCHB),
rec.pets,cats.community (RPCC), rec.pets.cats.rescue (RPCR), and this group,
rec.pets.cats.anecdotes (RPCA).  I like this group.  It has a looser style
with more leeway for off topic posts and more interest in the various people
in here.

We've had polls, Pine Cone's adventures with any one who wants adding
stories to the voyage, we care posts, purrs and prayers, and have developed
our own persona.  I've noticed that most of the people in here are geeks,
many with computer experience (this is where I'd come first if I need
software and other computer information), a lot of us are in the education
business, many in scientific fields (often in both scientific and
education), many are involved in health care and other healing professions.
They're even kind enough to accept a lowly housewife who substitute teaches
for pin money as part of the group.  We've given second chances, even third
and fourth chances. to those of us who make mistakes.

I once posted a poorly written story about an event at our house that got me
hate mail from all over the world.  I was called all sorts of names and told
that I shouldn't be permitted to have cats own me.  I cried.  Oh man how I
cried.  I'd just found a place that I felt as though I could talk to
everyone about anything in any way I wanted and here there were people
sending me mail telling me to go away.  I'm crying now remembering the pain
I felt.  Then, among the hate email, I got an email from a missing member of
this group.  It told me about his experiences after making the same mistake
I did.  He'd written a humorous (I thought it was funny) story about his
kitties getting drunk and having a party.  People sent him the same kind of
"eat s**t and die" (amazing how many were the same people who sent me nasty
grams) emails that I got.  Like me, he almost left the group.  Then another
poster sent him the same kind of mail that he sent me and gave him the same
advice he gave me.

Not everyone is going to like everything you post.  The best thing is to do
your best, focus on the basis for the group (anecdotes) and put the repeat
offenders in your kill file.  There are people whose kill files are an honor
to be a part of.  Others who'd break my heart to put in their kill file.  We
developed a rather nice treatment for trolls.  We either post recipes or
send them litter box offerings depending upon the post and the need.  The
person you are obsessing about isn't worth the effort to keep bringing him
up.  All you are doing is letting him (I assume it's a guy, he isn't a man)
know that he got to you in a big way, and are giving him the gratification
he depends on.  May I suggest that you send him some litter box offerings
and then go on with life.  Personal posts are not actively encouraged in
here, though the occasional ping is accepted.  Generally, if you want to
talk to someone privately, you can ping them with an email me please, or
turn it into a general post (as I've done here) in order to educate others
who may not understand how we've developed over the years.

Vicky once called us a group where one can pull up a chair and have a cuppa
whatever we're drinking and chat.  But part of the game is that the chat is
in hoomin and general; anyone can take part in the conversation.  We've
laughed (who can forget the anticipation of waiting for another missive from
the immortal Dave Yehuddah or Bev in New Zealand) shared information, cried
(this was the first place that I let know about Rob's tumors, after calling
Rob's parents and his first sergeant), grieved (Dave Yehuddah, JEM, Dusty,
and Eve come to mind), rejoiced (Eve again), told stories about, shared the
quirks of our owners, and just gotten together as friends.  When you single
out a person, no matter how innocently, you are breaking into the dynamic of
the group and potentially destroying it.

Health in here is a touchy topic.  Rob isn't the only member with cancer,
I'm just more unwilling to be quiet in my suffering.  JEM died from her
cancer.  Dave Yehuddah died from a heart attack.  Several members are in
wheel chairs.  Some of us are blind.  Many have diabetes, heart problems,
mobility issues, and mental health problems.  Some of us are flat out crazy,
like me.  We can share a common anonymity in here.  We don't come in here to
compare notes on our problems.  We come here to get away from the pain for a
while.  Please humor us in this and respect our shortcomings.

Meow chat is cute, in the meow group.  I don't go in there because I can't
handle the spelling, grammar, and sentence structure.  It all gives me a
headache that goes beyond Tylenol.  I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only
one who feels that way.  I know that the meow cats are very sweet and
forgiving, but my cats were never taught meowchat and I don't want them to
learn now.

Don't ask me for my picture.  Let me have my delusion of being 5'8", skinny,
dignified, and gorgeous instead of being the short blobby person I really
am.  I'm sure there are others who agree with me on this.  Not all of us are
cute like Christine, dignified like Annie and Sherry, sexy like Mark, or
handsome like Victor.  Asking for our pictures makes us choose between
showing another person how truly gross we look or coming up with a picture
of someone else and passing it off as ourselves.  That one doesn't even work
in sitcoms.

Please forgive me my total b*tch*n*ss and understand that I don't want to
lose you as a valued member of the group.  If that were the case, I'd have
kill filed you like I have past members who I didn't consider worth the
effort of trying to reclaim.  This is not the easiest group to slide into
and become a part of, partly because it looks like it would be easy.  Like
our owners we're a snooty bunch.  I hope that you and other newbies who are
trying out how to break into our group here in the smoothest manner possible
will be able to use at least part of my ramblings here for your benefit.

Pam S. who probably stuck her foot in her mouth again