Purrs for a Problem I'm having (not life threatening tho)

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Kyla =^..^= - 29 Feb 2008 00:29 GMT

Now, I''ve got a big problem again. Remember my former friend who I was
asking for purrs for who stole my meds? Well, she called this morning,
she's back in town, taking Prozac and is doing good. She asked DH to take
her to the local bus terminal so she could go to a job interview. He did and
we're waiting for her to call and ask to be picked up. No problem there.
However, IF she comes over to my home, yes I'll let her in, but the Rx's
will be under lock and key.
Do I let her back into my life? She's like 31 years old, and used to be my
little best friend, and she was very sweet. She did so much for me when we
were friends. She gave me the sweetest birthday gifts last year.
I think she is getting counseling, along with the meds, which is great:)
I'm happy for her. She has a darling Cat named Buttons who I've known since
he was 5 weeks old. I used to kiternsit for him when she went to
church..LOL
I'm a very forgiving person by nature.
And I'm so glad she's doing better, I've been praying for her.
And you've been sending purrs and prayers for her, which have worked:)
What should I do?
Thanks
HUGS
Kyla
--and snoozing kitties

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jofirey - 29 Feb 2008 03:50 GMT

> Now, I''ve got a big problem again. Remember my former friend who I was
> asking for purrs for who stole my meds? Well, she called this morning,
[quoted text clipped - 20 lines]
> Kyla
> --and snoozing kitties

Sorry, but that is one you are going to have to figure out for yourself.

Myself, I wouldn't let her in the house for several more years. I'd never
just take her word for how well she is doing, until she had demonstrated it
over a fairly long period of time.

And you aren't doing her any favors if you ever give her a chance to steal
meds from you again. She knows at this point you have them available. You
would feel terrible if she managed to get into your meds again and it caused
a relapse.

Jo

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jmcquown - 29 Feb 2008 12:40 GMT

Sounds like you've known her a while. I suggest you give her a chance. But
*definitely* keep your meds (and anything else which may be tempting) under
lock and key. She has a medical problem and it's good she's getting help.
As long as she stays on her meds I think she deserves a second chance.
(However, IIRC a number of us have been in situations where we've had to cut
off friendships in because they were doing more damage to us than helping
the person in question.)

If, however, she abuses your friendship or trust again don't turn it into a
merry-go-round. It's like addicts who are fine for a while but then keep
relapsing. They're terribly sorry so you let them back in and they do it
again. And they'll keep doing it as long as you enable them. If something
like this occurs, cut her out of your life and try very hard not to feel
guilty about it. Some things you can't "fix" no matter how much you'd like
to. My 2 cents.

Jill

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Kyla =^..^= - 01 Mar 2008 01:27 GMT

"jmcquown"

> Sounds like you've known her a while. I suggest you give her a chance.
> But *definitely* keep your meds (and anything else which may be tempting)
> under lock and key. She has a medical problem and it's good she's
> getting help.

We've known her for nearly 2 years now, since we moved in here.
She called this morning and wanted to come over for a visit, so the Rx's got
locked up and put out of sight. Her hair is now dyed a bright pink, and her
Prozac makes her 'happy'

> As long as she stays on her meds I think she deserves a second chance.

I'm doing that...but with caution.

> (However, IIRC a number of us have been in situations where we've had to
> >cut off friendships in because they were doing more damage to us than
> >helping the person in question.)

So true.

> If, however, she abuses your friendship or trust again don't turn it into
> a merry-go-round. It's like addicts who are fine for a while but then
[quoted text clipped - 5 lines]
>
> Jill

And a 2 cents well spent Jill. Thank you SO much for your advice.

She did bring her Cat 'Buttons' over with her and he and the other Cats had
fun playing. I've told her to always call me before she comes over, so I
can 'get dressed' IYKWIM.

HUG
Kyla

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Shiral - 29 Feb 2008 20:04 GMT

> Now, I''ve got a big problem again. Remember my former friend who I was
> asking for purrs for who stole my meds? Well, she called this morning,
[quoted text clipped - 22 lines]
>
> - Show quoted text -

I second the advice. She is trying to take care of her troubles, so
give her a qualified second chance. It's a "trust in God, but tether
your camel anyway" situation. Keep any little thing that might tempt
her out of sight, at very least and preferably locked where she can't
get at them. If you're uneasy about inviting her over, go have coffee/
lunch etc etc in a neutral setting for both of you. Don't write her
off, but make her earn your trust back rather than just saying "all is
forgiven" too quickly.

Melissa

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Kyla =^..^= - 01 Mar 2008 01:37 GMT

On Feb 28, 4:29 pm, " Kyla =^..^=" <kyla.water...@comcast.net> wrote:

I second the advice. She is trying to take care of her troubles, so
give her a qualified second chance. It's a "trust in God, but tether
your camel anyway" situation.

I am doing just that.

> Keep any little thing that might tempt
>her out of sight, at very least and preferably locked where she can't
>get at them.

We've already done just that.

If you're uneasy about inviting her over, go have coffee/

>lunch etc etc in a neutral setting for both of you.

I've no problem with her coming over, and she's been over twice now and it's
been okay.

Don't write her

>off, but make her earn your trust back rather than just saying "all is
>forgiven" too quickly.

Absolutely! And we did give each other BIG hugs.
Yes, you're right, I don't feel like I can trust her again, not just yet.
I'm not perfect by any means, and I wand you to know that.
And me being too trusting has gotten me into a lot of trouble and heartache.
But like I said, I've been praying for her and she's getting help, so who
knows? She's going back to her church on Sunday, which she says will help
also.
We'll just have to wait and see what happens.
Thank you for your advice. I just kneeded to know I was doing the right
thing.
HUG
Kyla
--
Some people have issues, for some, it's a lifetime subscription.

Melissa

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