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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / February 2008"Vucket" "Wish List"
I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish List". Well, on my "Bucket List" is first to find someone to do all the things I want to do with. Someone who can see me as a person who happens to be Blind, not a Blind person (I have some useable vision but not a lot). This person has to be a kind person who will not yell if you accidentally spill something or break something by knocking it off. I would like to travel, not sure about the flying part but, if I had a hand to hold could manage that. Come to think of it, if I found the first thing on my list, none of the other would be important. Whatever happened would have to be wonderful. Fact is, I do have a list which I just tore up because without out the first part, none of the rest would be worth doing. This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. *friend sighs a huuggee sigh of relief* just means you are ready to date again, and you can always write the list again, hopefully not by yourself, Lee > I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish List". > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. It is really strange how in answering a post something can occur to you that changes the way you look at a thing. I am going to put my BUCKET away for awhile and just enjoy what is now. > *friend sighs a huuggee sigh of relief* > [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] >> >> This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. careful or you will have Trudi's whiskers twitching* in another group my cat Trudi is the community matchmaker, Lee > It is really strange how in answering a post something can occur to you that > changes the way you look at a thing. I am going to put my BUCKET away for [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > >> > >> This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. >I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, >"Wish List". [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > I had a > hand to hold could manage that. There was a TV programme here in the UK which challenged people's normal view of "elderly" sight impaired people, and anti-social youths. Basically, a sight-impaired blind woman was sent on a trip around Italy with a youth who had "problems", and was descending into a life of crime. He was amazing, having been given responsibility, and learned how to respect others; she learned that she could do lots of things without assistance, and had an incredible increase in her self-confidence. > Come to think of it, if I found the first thing on my list, > none of the [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. I think that's known as having an epiphany. Good luck in finding a partner.  SignatureMatSav Thank you, but, even if that doesn't happen, I suddenly know that there are wonderful things out there for everyone. On the day, valentines day I wish all of you who have a spouse(pain that they can sometimes be), significant other, or partner a wonderful day and here is a poem I love. "They say there's a tree in the forest, A tree that will give you a sign; Come along with me to the Sweetheart Tree, Come and carve your name next to mine. They say if you kiss the right sweetheart, The one you've been waiting for, Big blossoms of white will burst into sight And your love will be true evermore." 'The Sweetheart Tree,' Words & Music by Johnny Mercer & Henry Mancini; recorded by Henry Mancini, 1965. From the movie 'The Great Race >>I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish >>List". [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > I think that's known as having an epiphany. Good luck in finding a > partner. >>I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish >>List". [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > respect others; she learned that she could do lots of things without > assistance, and had an incredible increase in her self-confidence. I figure my lack of hearing has a good effect of my grandkids. They had to learn to speak clearly and to look at me when they are talking. Also to dig up another word if I'm having trouble figuring one out. Usually I can read their lips even if I'm not wearing the speech processor. I take them to stores with me as well sometimes. So often there is so much background noise and it can be so hard for me to understand a stranger. The kids step in without being self conscious at all. Now if we could just train Charlie..... Jo This is a great topic. I'm not sure what "Vucket" means, actually it sounds vaguely profane. :) I gather that it refers to the list of things one wants to do before going on to the big cat-rescue center in the sky. :) (Hey, I don't know about you, but that's where *I'm* going.) Some things on my list (from the top of my head): - Lots o' travels. I have done very little travelling, actually, so I have a lot of places to see. Top of the list is Southern Spain. Why? I don't know exactly. It just sounds beautiful. All that Moorish architecture and culture, Mediterranean climate, and the fact that if I were there for any length of time, I'd pick up the language. But there are other places, too: Morocco, Tunisia, Turkey, Israel, Greece, and Bulgaria. Plus, the UK and Ireland, Denmark and Sweden. Lately I've been thinking that Vietnam would be a lovely place to visit. - Also in the travelling vein, but more touristy: I really want that lie-in-the-sun-in-a-tropical-paradise-for-a-week vacation. You know, the one where you drink alcoholic concoctions from a coconut shell? And swim in turquoise, bath-temperature water? Stay in a lovely hotel with a shower the size of my kitchen? I've actually had a couple of those vacations, but they were marred by bad company: one was with my dad when I was 24. He was a real jerk the entire week and totally ruined it for me. The other was with a company I worked for about 12 years ago. They took us to Hawaii for a *weekend*. (Don't ask.) I hated that job and couldn't stand anyone who worked there. I wanna go to a paradise with someone I like!! Doesn't have to be a romantic partner, someone I don't hate will suffice. :) - Live in some kind of intentional community. Co-housing, maybe? I'm a little too old and too private for a commune. :) But I really love the idea of being near people who know me. My life often feels so scattered, with friends all over the place. I'm not close enough to my family of origin to want to live with/near them, and I never spawned my own family. I don't have a partner, so, it's just me and my cats. Gets a little lonely sometimes. I'd really like a stable community to belong to. - Have some great musical group record and perform songs I've written. I sing myself, but I'm not really a professional quality performer. So I'd be just as happy if a more polished group did the honors. One that had similar musical values to my own, that is - I really don't want a heavy metal version of my stuff. :) - Take a bunch of art classes. I want to learn how to do mosaic, especially with colored glass pieces. - The older I get, the more I feel like I'm meant to do some kind of work with animals. I don't know what, though - other than what I do already, but I mean paying work. I don't have any ideas at the moment. Joyce > This is a great topic. I'm not sure what "Vucket" means, actually it > sounds vaguely profane. :) I gather that it refers to the list of things > one wants to do before going on to the big cat-rescue center in the sky. > :) > (Hey, I don't know about you, but that's where *I'm* going.) Actually, it's just a typo. The movie that inspsired the topic is called "Bucket List", in which two men with cancer make a list of the things they want to do "before we kick the bucket". I agree about your destination, though, although I'd broaden it. I love all animals. > Some things on my list (from the top of my head): > [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > > Joyce > > This is a great topic. I'm not sure what "Vucket" means, actually it > > sounds vaguely profane. :) I gather that it refers to the list of things > > one wants to do before going on to the big cat-rescue center in the sky. > > :) > > (Hey, I don't know about you, but that's where *I'm* going.) > Actually, it's just a typo. The movie that inspsired the topic is called > "Bucket List", in which two men with cancer make a list of the things they > want to do "before we kick the bucket". Duh, I'm an idiot. :) Joyce My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing on your list, and do it as soon as you can. You never know what could come up to keep you from doing things, so do as many of them as you can. SignatureJoy Don't believe everything you think > This is a great topic. I'm not sure what "Vucket" means, actually it > sounds vaguely profane. :) I gather that it refers to the list of things [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > Joyce > My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing on > your list, and do it as soon as you can. You never know what could come up > to keep you from doing things, so do as many of them as you can. I might refine that a bit and instead, try to do the more easily accomplished ones as soon as I can. In my list, it's the mosaic class. Then, maybe some of the trips. I could probably swing some version of the lying-on-the-sand vacation, too - maybe not with as much luxury as I fantasize, but still pleasant. But I don't want to do it alone, so I need to find a travel partner. I don't know anyone who has that kind of vacation in mind. I forgot to list one travel destination I yearn for, because I was so busy focusing on where I might want to go abroad. But one that's not very far from me is the Best Friends Animal Society in Utah. It sounds like a pain to get to, but I could manage it, and I could afford it. And I could even go alone, because once i got there, I'd have plenty of people and animals to relate to. Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't have the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. I'm just too grumpy and paranoid right now. So I have to work on myself, get over some of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even consider making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of project. I get your point about "Do it now, because we never know when we'll run out of time," the whole "carpe diem" thing. But the fact is, if I'm not ready now, I'm not ready now - whether I have 10 years in which to become ready, or I only have 3 days, and therefore will never be ready. Just because it would be useful to be able to fly if cornered by a tiger, that doesn't mean a human being will suddenly sprout wings, if you catch my meaning. Some of my dreams probably won't come true because I'm not able to do them in the time I have allotted. That's unfortunate, but it's life. I try not to compound the stress by putting too much pressure on myself. Joyce somewhere in Utah or Nevada there is a hotel where they provide a cat for you in your room if you want, I lost the link, Lee > > My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing on > > your list, and do it as soon as you can. You never know what could come up [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Joyce > > My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing > > on [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > Joyce You're absolutely right! There are some things we can't do, but it's nice to dream about them. And there are things we may do someday, but we may not be ready for them yet. I jumped out of an airplane on my 70th birthday, but there's no way I could have done that even one year earlier. The important thing is to have at least some things on your list that you can achieve, and go after at least one of them. Joy I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee > > > My recommendation to everybody is to pick out the most important thing > > > on [quoted text clipped - 47 lines] > > Joy > I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I > can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee LOL Bridget >> I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided >> I [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Bridget After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says, "Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane! Joy Bless your heart they got the insane part right, you would have to be. I cannot imagine ever having the nerve to do that. I have done some pretty risky things in my time but that one just creeps me out. WAY TO GO FOR YOU THOUGH! >>> I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided >>> I [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Joy > After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me > jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says, > "Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane! I like that! Things for my wish bucket 1. To go to Sydney- I have never flown in my life and the first flight I'd like to take is the longest! Typical! 2. To see the Rocky Horror show live-working on that this year 3 To get a book published just so I can say I done it 4 To finally see Zappa plays Zappa- we've had tickets for the last 2 UK shows and missed both of them 5 To run a convention game Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs On Feb 15, 11:22 am, "Joy" <toas...@real-me.net> wrote: > After my jump, my son-in-law gave me a sweatshirt. It has pictures of me > jumping on the front and back. Below the picture on the front it says, > "Skydivers: The few, The brave, The insane! I like that! Things for my wish bucket 1. To go to Sydney- I have never flown in my life and the first flight I'd like to take is the longest! Typical! **** It's well worth it, though. There is so much to see and enjoy in Sydney alone, and that isn't even my favorite place in Australia. Joy 2. To see the Rocky Horror show live-working on that this year 3 To get a book published just so I can say I done it 4 To finally see Zappa plays Zappa- we've had tickets for the last 2 UK shows and missed both of them 5 To run a convention game Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs Hey girl if I don't want to ride in one in particular how did we get to jumping out of one? Not this old gal, no way, I don't even want to wait on the ground while someone I care about jumps. I saw once what could happen and that was enough for me. >I will NEVER be ready to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, provided I > can ever find a perfectly good airplane, Lee [quoted text clipped - 67 lines] >> >> Joy > Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not > only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even consider > making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of project. What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You need to look at what ties people have outside the community and where those ties are going to pull them. You can live with somebody with funny moods a lot easier than with someobody who wants to sell the whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear, however charming they may be about it. ==== j a c k at c a m p i n . m e . u k === <http://www.campin.me.uk> ==== Jack Campin, 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland == mob 07800 739 557 CD-ROMs and free stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, and Mac logic fonts > What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't > matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear, > however charming they may be about it. It's not so much the funny moods that would make me shy away from anything like an intentional community - it's the cliques and conflicts of interest and gossip you get anytime you have a group of people, and which can, given the wrong people and the wrong kind of group structure or philosophy, rapidly become completely intolerable. I also tend to like solitude anyway, and prefer to spend a fair bit of time alone, with the rest divided among work and assorted interests (along with the people who share my workplace and personal interests). When I come home after a long day of this, I do NOT want to have to deal with not just moodiness, but he said/she said spats or being lobbied to take this side or that on various community issues. Economics are important, too, of course. I spend extra on housing so I have a private space where I don't have to deal with such things. Cheryl >> What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't >> matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Cheryl I, too, need my privacy, and I have also found a perfect balance. I have a number of friends at my church, and I know I could call on them if I needed help. I am also a member of Toastmasters, and have many friends there. The nice thing about an organization like Toastmasters (and many others) is that, no matter where you go, you have friends because you're part of the organization. I have visited Toastmasters clubs on all four of my trips to Australia. I have been asked to participate in the meetings, and often to give a speech. I have been invited into people's homes, usually for a meal. One Toastmaster gave me a two-hour walking tour of the town where I was staying. Another invited me to stay with her while I was visiting her city. Sometimes politics or personal differences intrude into Toastmasters, but usually I can stay out of those. I don't get involved in the higher levels of the organization, because that is where most of the problems occur. The most serious problem I've encountered at the club level was a member whose speeches were sermons. That might have been tolerable, in spite of the varied religious backgrounds of our members. However, his sermons were of the "If you don't believe exactly as I do you're going to burn in hell forever!" variety. We had to speak to him several times before he stopped giving that type of speech, but we lost a couple of members in the meantime. Usually, though, Toastmasters are a great bunch of people. We're almost all in the organization to improve ourselves and to help each other. Joy >> Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not >> only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in >> a number of ways. I don't have the money to buy property. And I don't have >> the temperament to live in close proximity to other people. > What I found living in one 30 years ago was that temperament didn't > matter a damn. What counted was people's economic interests. You [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > whole place up as soon as possible for whatever the market will bear, > however charming they may be about it. Hmm. Sorry you had a bad experience, that sucks. I didn't mean that I thought my moodiness would make me an unattractive community member (although perhaps it would :)). I just meant that because of my state of mind, and how I feel around people most of the time, I don't *want* to live in a community. I don't think I could tolerate other people being that close. So I'm not motivated right now to look for that kind of situation. So why even mention it as a goal? Well, in spite of my cranky misanthropy, I do need other people. It's lonely living by myself, without a lot of close friends or family close by. I hate being so introverted and paranoid around people. The happiest times in my life have been when I've been actively social, connected to a lot of people, and involved in communitiies. I'm basically a social person, but when I get depressed, I stop trusting people and then I withdraw. That's how things are these days, so seeking out an intentional community is out of the question right now. But the economic issue you bring up is also germane, because even if I were chomping at the bit to join a cohousing community, I wouldn't have the resources to do so. I know you were talking about something else. It sounds like you got screwed by someone who wasn't honest about his ultimate intentions. Stuff like this happens, sure. But a lot of other things could go wrong as well, even if everyone has good intentions. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not > only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > of this depression and negative thinking/moods, before I can even consider > making a home with other people. That's probably a later-on kind of project. > Joyce Having an intentional community can happen even if you live in an apartment. My neighbors and I don't speak to each other because they have nothing nice to say to me, but I have incredible support in the community. I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in with. One of those is the Church and the other is a group of people who have the same disabilities that I do. I have found a great fit with these two groups - your groups of course would be different. These people have kept me housed and fed and brought me things I needed when I was sick and an incredible myriad of other things. I have been able to support them when they needed it and the company has been wonderful for them and for me. When I get done with school, I am not even considering moving to get a job. I will settle for lower pay and fewer benefits to stay in my community it is so satisfying and it doesn't include family, neighbors, a significant other, a roommate or a special immediate community, like seniors have in certain areas. It took me a long time to find the groups I really fit in with, but I wouldn't trade them for the world now that I have them. Bridget The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you "can't do that". Bull, I can do anything I am physically able. Yes, someone may have to lead me through the path but, that doesn't mean I shouldn't walk the path because someone else tends to limit themselves. Stereotype thinking really gets my goat. I have more abilities than disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way. >> Having an intentional community to live in is a long-term project. Not >> only is such a thing hard to create or find, but I'm not ready for it, in [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Bridget > The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is > that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Stereotype thinking really gets my goat. I have more abilities than > disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way. I never thought I'd be a group person, but now I find some of them an easy and simple way to meet people who share some of my interests! But I like a balance. There are times when a group of people who have similar problems to me provide essential support - or enable me to contribute a bit to some cause that I have a deep and personal connection to. And there are times when what I want and need is to forget everything else and spend an enjoyable evening on one of my hobbies with like-minded friends. Of course, there's overlap - sometimes a friend in a hobby group will want to talk about a personal problem, and sometimes people in a more serious - ie focused on a problem/disability - group will have a pleasant social evening. And sometimes - often, actually - someone expresses a perspective that I can't agree with, and I have to decide whether I should join battle or bite my tongue. If it happens too often or is over something too important to me to live and let live, well, I disengage myself politely and look for other ways to spend my time. Cheryl it also makes a difference as to the nature of the problem/disability... physical disabilities tend to get into a rut or radical, emotional issues, and social issues, tend to be more geared towards support, Lee, who has found that WW is the only group activity she can tolerate on a regular basis > > The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is > > that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > Cheryl > The problem I have with groups that "have the same disabilities I do" is > that they tend to get in a rut. There gets to be too much thinking you [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > disabilities and have taught my children to look at people that way. > "Bridget" <tektor@insightbb.com> wrote in message I won't deny that a good group is hard to find and can take a long time. And I feel very lucky and blessed that I have found good groups. I have attended different groups over the years before I found the ones I am a member of and the difference in a healthy group and a not healthy group, when you find them is amazing. In my case, I have found some incredibly supportive and encouraging groups that were originally designed around a disability, but they have become places of great growth for the people who belong to them. YMMV, Bridget > news:fq-dnaNWFLUmGCjanZ2dnUVZ_oKhnZ2d@comcast.net... >> [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] >> >> Bridget > I have incredible support in the > community. I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > support them when they needed it and the company has been wonderful for > them and for me. That is truly wonderful, Bridget. I'm so glad you have that. It's not like we live in a culture that supports this kind of community, so the fact that you have found people who are so generous and helpful is really incredible. Churches often seem to offer this kind of community support. I know a woman who joined the Unitarian church several years ago. She is disabled and has major mobility issues. When her condo was completely flooded, and she had to move into a hotel for months while the place was being repaired, the church members were amazingly helpful to her. She couldn't have gotten along without them. Joyce SignatureTo send email to this address, remove the triple-X from my user name. > > I have incredible support in the > > community. I belong to a couple of organizations that I really fit in [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > > Joyce It's still like every other group in that you have to find a healthy one. A lot of churches are made up of people in there to make social and business contacts, congregations that are so familiar with each other as to make it difficult for newcomers to come into their midst because they would rather stay in their cliques, clergy that are more concerned about what the member can do for the church than what the church can do for the member and sadly, many other things. I mention these because I have found one or more in every church but the one I am in now and I have been to a number. Entering this church made getting through all the rest of them worth it though! Bridget "Vucket" most probably means that our slave didn't use the spell checker before she sent the message. Should have been "Bucket" Mz Piglet thinking maybe they need to replace their secretary. > This is a great topic. I'm not sure what "Vucket" means, actually it > sounds vaguely profane. :) I gather that it refers to the list of things [quoted text clipped - 49 lines] > > Joyce > I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish List". > [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > This isn't a sad thing, just suddenly a true thing. I think that "Bucket List" stuff is depressing and fatalist. However, I have a tip for you - having very limited vision would be a blessing and lead to a relaxing flight if you took a plane ride in the USA, IMHO. The less you could see the better off you'll be. Also, TSA employees are trained to assist and enable such passengers, not to mention airline employees. I have had a seat in a plane on a long flight crosscountry next to a blind man and his help dog....it was one of the more pleasant flight memories I have. Oooohhh nnnoooo, My mother in law had a stroke and lived with us for 16 years. She and my husband were both in wheeel chairs. Her "Wish List" was that she wanted to fly to California "one more time" So, be younger and foolisher,I agreed to do this. We got on the plane and, where we were sitting, I felt the vibration as the landing gear was put up after take off. When we landed the vibration of said gear going down, felt like the bottom was falling out of the plane. Was quite a rumble, at least to me. When we got to S F, they put us on a flying shoebox to go to Bakersfield. I never want to fly again while I can hear the pilots talking. I have always believed they were messing with out heads but not quite sure. I know there are people trained to help but, I got stranded in Union Station in Chicago once and that was enough. If I have someone I know with me I am adventurous but by myself not. >> I got to thinking about the "Bucket List" or as she called it, "Wish >> List". [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > on a long flight crosscountry next to a blind man and his help > dog....it was one of the more pleasant flight memories I have. |
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