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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / November 2004Mom! [Somewhat OT]
I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's (never-forthcoming) approval. So... Since I got such good feedback from you guys on my "...With Mommy" stories here I thought I'd print them out and send them to her to read. Her response was, "To be honest I didn't like them at all. They were too bloody (how could you allow an animal to bite and scratch you like that?). They were too disgusting, I gagged when I read about you drinking coffee with cat boogers in it, and if an animal had gotten anywhere near my food I would have thrown it and the animal out!" Sigh, they were just supposed to be funny anecdotes mom! Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book, "The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171. You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Right after the above comments she started telling me about my older brother who had a write-up in the Parish paper about his award-winning wood carving. Message received: Nothing you do is any good, everything your brother does is excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along! Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!). Hugs, CatNipped >Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!). > >Hugs, > >CatNipped Sorry, but I am absolutely laughing. Not at you, but you made me wonder what my *father* would say if he read this group. He hates cats. He blames the cats on every affliction or illness we have. But Bast got the last word: The *very last thing* my grandmother said to him before she died was, "Take care of my cat." And he did, LOL, for eight years. It was an outdoor kitty, but STILL!!! Sherry > Sorry, but I am absolutely laughing. Not at you, but you made me wonder what > my *father* would say if he read this group. He hates cats. He blames the > cats on every affliction or illness we have. But Bast got the last word: The > *very last thing* my grandmother said to him before she died was, "Take care > of my cat." And he did, LOL, for eight years. It was an outdoor kitty, but > STILL!!! Sherry My dad gets around his cat aversion by referring to Oscar as "the puppy." Hey, whatever works. Of course, my cat-averse father still bought Oscar mousies while he was visiting, and crawled around on his hands and knees playing with her when she was a kitten. No one can withstand the power of the kitten!  Signaturemonique >> Sorry, but I am absolutely laughing. Not at you, but you made me wonder >> what [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > she > was a kitten. No one can withstand the power of the kitten! Yes, we learned that when my mom came to visit after we got Sam the demon Siamese. Hubby picked parents up at the airport, dropped mom by new home, and went to old home with dad to pick up some stuff. Did not warn Mom etc. When they came back Mom was sitting on the sofa, Sam was sitting on Mom. Purring and being generally a sweet lovebug, but refusing to move. And she was afraid to make him move. And that is how he managed to win her over. Jo > >> Sorry, but I am absolutely laughing. Not at you, but you made me wonder > >> what [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Jo <G> My Dad was definitely a dog person, but when my parents came to visit me, Pyewacket (RB) chose his lap to settle in whenever he sat down in the living room. Before the end of the visit, he was calling Pye "puppy-cat". Joy > >Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!). > > [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > And he did, LOL, for eight years. It was an outdoor kitty, but STILL!!! > Sherry Eve helped cats win Jody over. She packed around our sassycat who I was working to keep her inside and let her be inside 100%. She kept going out though for the most part, in spite of hell. Well...It happened, she was run over. Abi was unconsolible, horribly upset. So was I. Eve of course, was clueless. Jody and I had been having alot of problems, I had filed for divorce and was waiting for papers to be served. It was a time of hell. The next week Jody suggested getting a new outside kitty for Abi. I put my foot down. No, we had tried it with my firend's cat who had to go home and now Sassy. Forget it, I'm done unless the cat can come in and stay. No discussions, no arguments no compromise on this issue. It had been one of which we had fought over and were fighting about. The next day I was up at PetsMart staring at this gorgeous silver tabby with seagreen eyes. She had been in a cage for three months and slated to be turned into a barn cat because she was unadoptable. She gently bites when she wants attention and is ignored. Nor did she appear to wish to be held. She'd love you to pet her, but don't hold her, at all... Well, she came home, been inside ever since and Eve packed her around for two weeks or so before she was gone. Jody loves that cat because Eve loved Luna. Jody cried when Sassy was gone because of the same... Our daughters lost their best friend they shared. We're a house of five now. Glitter joined our ranks on November the 1st as the resident black pain in the kitten a.s. Jody discovered the joy of laser play this morning. And calls Glitter a junkie for dragging a plastic baggie of 'nip all over the bathroom floor. It's funny as hell. Our bedroom and the guest bathroom doors face each other so I'll see two tails, one black one grey slink into the bathroom where the catnip is still pleasantly strewn about when a few minutes later comes the running of the bulls through the living room. Back and forth. Mutt just grunts under the covers because more times than not if I'm not cooking, or actively cleaning I'm in the bedroom, and most of the time in the bed itself, Mutt sticks with me 100% of the time. (Don't worry about Abi, she's been spending alot of time with her cousins and doing sleepovers., or she's at school... It's not like Mom is smoking in bed drinking hard liquor to pass out and stuff ;)) :hugs Love ya'll Gracie >>>Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!). >>> [quoted text clipped - 56 lines] > cousins and doing sleepovers., or she's at school... It's not like Mom is > smoking in bed drinking hard liquor to pass out and stuff ;)) Glad to hear Mutt is taking such good care of you, and you have two of the Superior Species to amuse you. Take care! SignatureMarina, Frank and Nikki marina (dot) kurten (at) pp (dot) inet (dot) fi Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki Grace, congratulations on Glitter! What a beautiful name. I don't think I"ve ever heard that one before. Sherry Luna has a black collar with silver moons on it. Glitter's collar is a sparkly silver that matches her pitch black fur so beautifully. When Abi saw the collar, she announced her name was Glitter. Glitter started as a Magnolia or Maggi for short because on November the 1st, All Saints Day, our magnolia tree given in memory of Eve bloomed that morning, the same morning I adopted Glitter. But Abi was adament it was a glitter and Glitter she is. Glitter is a 6 year old black female that I visited on a weekly basis in October. Nov 1st, an hour after opening I was up at the cages asking if she could come home. She was supposed to be let go on the 2nd but they let her go since I was up there so much and had adopted Luna previously. They settled in quite nicely, no sneezing no coughing an no hacking on family members part. Mutt is less tolerable of Glitter than she is of Luna. I wish they felt comfortable enough to come into the bedroom but Jody and Mutt both drew a solid line at the door that demands DO NOT ENTER. Of course, Luna and I ignored Jody, I installed a heated window perch and birdseed feeders outside the window. And Mutt's ok as long as she's under the covers, doesn't have to see them and they stay absolutely perfectly silent at all times. Failure to adhere to certain rules will result in an immediate removal from the bedroom :D. Grace > Grace, congratulations on Glitter! What a beautiful name. I don't think I"ve > ever heard that one before. > > Sherry >I adopted Glitter. But Abi was adament it was a glitter and Glitter she is. Ahhh, that explains it. I am very familiar with letting little girls name their pets. We had a cat named Los Angeles when Jamie was 7. Glitter is a much better name. Congratulations! Glitter's a lucky kitty. Sherry >Glitter is a 6 year old black female that I visited on a weekly basis in >October. Nov 1st, an hour after opening I was up at the cages asking if she [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >> >> Sherry >Luna has a black collar with silver moons on it. Glitter's collar is a >sparkly silver that matches her pitch black fur so beautifully. When Abi saw [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] >silent at all times. Failure to adhere to certain rules will result in an >immediate removal from the bedroom :D. Congratulation to the adoption of Glitter. It is a really good name! Elisabet and black Hugo Katt ACK!! I just noticed something Glitter is not a six year old. Glitter is a six MONTH old. Pardon ;) > >Luna has a black collar with silver moons on it. Glitter's collar is a > >sparkly silver that matches her pitch black fur so beautifully. When Abi [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > Congratulation to the adoption of Glitter. It is a really good name! > Elisabet and black Hugo Katt >> Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for >> rants!!). [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > him before she died was, "Take care of my cat." And he did, LOL, for > eight years. It was an outdoor kitty, but STILL!!! Sherry My father never liked cats but would never hurt one, or see one hurt. So when he was 19 and saw someone trying to drown a kitten, he rescued it. He still didn't like cats, but that cat "Figaro" adored him for the next 21 years. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. ---------------------<snip>---------------------- >Nothing you do is any good, everything your brother does is >excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius >of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along! Ouch, that smarts! Sorry to hear that that most fundamental relationship is so devoid of the warmth and acceptance that a person has a right to expect, but that sometimes is just not forthcoming. As far as I'm concerned, your "Mommy" stories are treasures. Hugs! Lots and lots of hugs! Regards and Purrs, O J > I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to > add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > CatNipped (((((((((((((CatNipped)))))))))))))) I know it would be much better coming from your family, but *I* think it's fantastic, but not surprising, that you had a story published. Joy >I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to >add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] >"The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it >on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171. Very cool! Congratulations! >You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my >cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Right after the [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >CatNipped My mother was sort of like that. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. I used to joke that I could be President of the United States, and her only comment would be "When are you going to get married and give me a grandchild?" I did get married before she died, but she'll wait forever for that grandchild. She's got plenty of grandkitties, though ;-) Ginger-lyn > My mother was sort of like that. No matter what I did, it was never > good enough. I used to joke that I could be President of the United [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Ginger-lyn I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt like hours) then said "you produce beautiful babies." I'm always weirded out by the way some parents try to divide and conquer their children like this. Rob's parents (according to his sister) boast or at least talk about us a lot. We hear all about his sister and how wonderful her family is. My parents would blame one of us for another person's deeds, or say something on the order of "your brother/sister hates you and I don't know what you did to them." We've tried so hard not to keep the kids in a competition, I hope we've succeeded. Pam S. >I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything >complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt like >hours) then said "you produce beautiful babies." Do we have the same sister, by any chance? Mine is the queen of double-sworded compliments. Most recent was, "You look great. Did you get a Wonder Bra?" Sherry >>I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything >>complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt like [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Sherry Mine wouldn't have been that nice. This is the woman who had a fit because I bought Jason's baby clothes at places like goodwill, Kmart, and Sears. She told me that I was raising him to think he was supposed to live in poverty for all of his life. She tried to turn me in for child abuse and was told by CPS that you can't do that. Unfortunately they told her what you can turn someone into CPS for. Years later she bought Amanda a dress at Nordstroms, made in a sweatshop in Equador that cost $80. This is for the kid who thinks dresses are evil and should be burned. Said child was four at the time. I later gave the dress to Rob's sister. I think Mandy wore it three times. Pam S. >Mine wouldn't have been that nice. This is the woman who had a fit >because I bought Jason's baby clothes at places like goodwill, Kmart, [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > >Pam S. You go, girl. You're teaching them frugality and recycling, which are lessons that will benefit them FAR LONGER than an $80 garment will. Besides, what's wrong with teaching them to live in poverty? It might come in handy someday. Like me. I know how to be poor. I can stretch a buck. I don't like it, but if I ever had to do it again, I could. Sherry >>> I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything >>> complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > to live in poverty for all of his life. > Pam S. Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that. What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my share; I don't have a sister but my mom used to be given beautiful dresses from a friend whose daughter was older than me. Kids outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away? Waste not, want not. I currently have two bags full of clothing ready to donate to the Salvation Army. I may have paid $100 for that old dress, but it doesn't fit anymore and it's in perfect shape. So someone can buy it for maybe $10. And maybe they can look good when they go on that job interview, or simply to a family gathering. Whatever. There is nothing wrong at all with being frugal and teaching your children to spend a dime wisely. Jill > Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these > days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that. [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > Jill Amen to that! Bob >> Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids >> these days is they think they have to have designer this and [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > > Bob When I was a kid, I used to LOVE wearing hand-me-downs - my brother's to be exact. He was only 2 1/2 years older than me, so it didn't take me long to grow into his stuff. Once I was able to fit into a pair of his old jeans - that was it, Mom couldn't get me to wear a dress again after that. Worse thing is that she would try to girly them up by embrodering flowers on them or something like that... yech!! LOL And my sister was 10 years older than me and she had the *COOLEST* clothes, but it took me *forever* to fit into her stuff, and by then is was no longer cool. Didn't matter to me though, I'd wear it anyway.... as long as it wasn't a dress ;) --? The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)? email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep On Sun, 21 Nov 2004 21:53:12 +0000, Magic Mood Jeep© wrote: >>> Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids >>> these days is they think they have to have designer this and [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > cool. Didn't matter to me though, I'd wear it anyway.... as long as it > wasn't a dress ;) Being a child during the Great Depression, hand-me-downs were always welcome. Families traded clothes as a matter of course and there was no shame attached. We learned to be frugal and to share -- not bad qualities even today. MLB >>>> I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything >>>> complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Jill My older grandson bought a new tan corduroy jacket a few weeks ago. It really looks nice but I couldn't help but smile. Its so very similar to a jacket their grandpa wore for 25 years till he "outgrew" it. Now we live in California and a jacket doesn't get all that much wear in 25 years. And it was an excellent brand and still in the closet. So I got it out and it fits the younger grandson perfectly. Had it drycleaned for him. The lovely lady at the cleaners explained to him that it isn't so much a hand me down, though there would me nothing wrong with that, but it now qualifies as vintage. Jo > Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these > days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that. > What's wrong with hand-me-downs? I sure had my share; I don't have a sister > but my mom used to be given beautiful dresses from a friend whose daughter > was older than me. Kids outgrow things; you just gonna throw them away? > Waste not, want not. My mom did, too - unfortunately, the friend's daughter was in the same class I was (but older - I'd skipped a grade), so everyone recognized the dresses when I wore them! I finally managed to make my mom understand the problem, but I must have suffered in silence for the better part of a year (seemed more like eternity) before I actually told her WHY I objected to wearing Lois's clothes. >> Excuse me, but your sister is an idiot. The problem with many kids these >> days is they think they have to have designer this and designer that. [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > (seemed more like eternity) before I actually told her WHY I objected to > wearing Lois's clothes. Could have been worse. One of my cousins got stuck with some of my hand my down jeans and shirts. HE didn't much appreciate it once he got old enough to figure out they buttoned the wrong way. Jo >>> I once pointed out to my half sister that she'd never said anything >>> complimentary about me. She paused for about a minute or so (felt [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > and Sears. She told me that I was raising him to think he was supposed > to live in poverty for all of his life. Actually, I'd say you were raising him to think there are better uses for money than impressing other people with how much he pays for things! >Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book, >"The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it >on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171. > >You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my >cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Concatulations! I did like the one about the duckling, and I know you've always wanted to get them published. I wouldn't worry about what your mom said. If she doesn't like cats, I don't think she could like stories about an especially naughty cat. :) > I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and > wanted to add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > CatNipped Awwwww :( I'm so sorry your mom didn't appreciate your stories. I loved them and please continue writing them. Congrats on being published; it's a great feeling! We all love you! Purrs, Jill > Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book, > "The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it > on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171. Congratulations! > You would think that, with that affirmation, it wouldn't bother me that my > cat-hating mom didn't like my stories, but it still stings. Right after the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius > of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along! That may actually not be the message that was sent. Of course, I don't know any of you, but I've discovered that it is very easy to interpret something like that as a put-down when it comes right after a comment that was disappointing or hurtful. Not everyone is blessed with tact, and some people say things like that without thinking that good news can be interpreted as a dig. Congratulations on having the cat story published, and I am sure cat lovers will enjoy it. I hope you will forgive me if I don't sent a copy to my mother. When she visited my hometown for the first time since I moved to my present home more than ten years ago, she and my aunt and brother stayed in a hotel because it was wheelchair accessible. My mother, who is not the one in the wheelchair, said how terrible it was that she wasn't invited into her own children's home. I was driving, and said we could go over right away and she could go in and see my home if that's what she wanted. They were spending so little time here, as the main purpose of the trip was to go to the Old Family Hometown, and there had been all the souvenir shopping and graveyard visits to fit in, but if she wanted to see it, fine, my brother could wait in the car (my place is *not* accessible)..... No, she said, the cats might attack her. She didn't want to go inside my house. She is somewhat phobic about cats, and also finds them disgusting. That's just the way she is. She knows I love cats, and will even give me gifts with a cat theme, and sometimes ask about them. But no way will she go near one, and I doubt if she'd enjoy reading about them. This isn't a rant; we've come to an agreement on the topic of cats; I have them and she doesn't go near them. SignatureCheryl > more than ten years ago, she and my aunt and brother stayed in a hotel > because it was wheelchair accessible. My mother, who is not the one in the > wheelchair, said how terrible it was that she wasn't invited into her own > children's home. I was driving, and said we could go over right away and > she could go in and see my home if that's what she wanted... No, she said, > the cats might attack her. She didn't want to go inside my house. She was complaining that she wasn't invited into your home, and when you said, sure, come on over, she said no?? Talk about your mixed messages! > She is somewhat phobic about cats, and also finds them disgusting. That's > just the way she is. She knows I love cats, and will even give me gifts > with a cat theme, and sometimes ask about them. But no way will she go > near one, and I doubt if she'd enjoy reading about them. Sounds like she's able to recognize that her phobia is *hers* and doesn't necessarily apply to other people, and she can respect that you love cats. Some people with phobias don't even realize that it's irrational, and can't understand why anyone else could tolerate the feared object/activity. But at least your mom is able to make that distinction, which is good! Now, if she would only understand that the reason you don't invite her to your house is because she'll just say no... :) Joyce > Now, if she would only understand that the reason you don't invite her to > your house is because she'll just say no... :) > > Joyce This sounds like what we had to put up with from my mother in law when she would visit. She didn't like being left home if we went anywhere. But wouldn't get out of the car to go in if we took her anywhere. But also got upset if we took her and left her in the car. Not fun for two weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Jo > She was complaining that she wasn't invited into your home, and when you > said, sure, come on over, she said no?? Talk about your mixed messages! Well, I'm not sure what she was thinking. She may have forgotten the cats momentarily, or something, when she said how she'd only been in one of her daughters' homes, etc., etc. I was a bit startled at the vision of Mandy and Betsy as attack cats - they're both pretty elderly and sedate, and Betsy is a postive scaredy cat. But I hope I've come to understand that she's really scared of them. > Sounds like she's able to recognize that her phobia is *hers* and doesn't > necessarily apply to other people, and she can respect that you love cats. > Some people with phobias don't even realize that it's irrational, and can't > understand why anyone else could tolerate the feared object/activity. But > at least your mom is able to make that distinction, which is good! Oh, yes, I think we've both come a long way on that topic. When I was a child, I didn't understand how anyone could fear cats the way she did and does. Now, I realize she can't help it, and she knows that what they mean to me. I must have been a bit of a trial as a child. Once, a friend and I found this lovely black cat that didn't seem to have a home, so we 'adopted' it. His family had a dog so he couldn't take the cat home and I had this uneasy feeling that I wouldn't get permission either, if I asked. So I didn't. I smuggled the cat (who turned out to be a tom) into the basement and fed him crackers, since I knew nothing about feeding cats. He was probably almost as relieved as my mother when he was evicted. > Now, if she would only understand that the reason you don't invite her to > your house is because she'll just say no... :) I think that became perfecly clear! And she can't say I never invited her! SignatureCheryl > When I was a child, I didn't understand how anyone could fear cats > the way she did and does. Now, I realize she can't help it I never understood that either, because I was thinking that people were afraid that cats presented some kind of *danger*. I guess that is the fear for some cat-phobics, but a friend of mine was talking about her mother's cat-phobia, and it wasn't so much a fear of physical danger as it was *revulsion*. Kind of like the way many of us feel about bugs or snakes, even harmless ones. It's more of an "ewww, gross, don't let it touch me" reaction than it is a "help, it's going to hurt me" kind of feeling. Of course, it's probably impossible for any of us to imagine someone being grossed-out by a cat, but many people get that <<shudder>> reaction to mice and rats, and cats are just another small animal. As I said, some people probably do fear being bitten or scratched, but many are just revolted. Joyce > As I said, some people probably do fear being bitten or scratched, but many > are just revolted. > > Joyce My husband was definitely on the "fear of being attacked" side. When we were still dating, he'd never spent any time around cats. It didn't help that my cat is definitely on the touchy side. Eric's fear seemed to stem primarily from the belief that cats are unpredictable. He didn't understand their body language, so her reactions came as a complete surprise to him. Things like tail twitching, body posture, all the things that we cat owners learn to interpret. There was a time when my husband, then boyfriend, declared that he would never pick Oscar up. Now he does, sometimes, when she's in an exceptionally jolly mood. He even picks up her little "hands" (one of Eric's more endearing traits is calling front paws "hands") and dances with her. It's not clear to me that Oscar enjoys this, but she tolerates it. It's probably a lot like fear of dogs. To me, fear of dogs is pretty hard to understand; I've been around them all of my life, and I have a pretty good feel for reading their moods. But some people are just terrified of them. Again, I think they just don't know how to read the animal's intentions, so any forward movement seems aggressive to them. Signaturemonique > > When I was a child, I didn't understand how anyone could fear cats > > the way she did and does. Now, I realize she can't help it > As I said, some people probably do fear being bitten or scratched, but > many are just revolted. I have a clinical phobia. I have difficulty even looking at photographs of the object of my phobia. I realize that the item in question cannot harm me, but I would still rather cut off my hand than have to touch one. If I do by chance see one, I can look forward to waking up screaming from nightmares all night as I "see" them in my head. So if she has a clinical phobia of cats, then it is nothing personal, she just finds the very image/idea of one upsetting, for no logical reason. That's hard when you want to share this part of your life, but it is also something beyond both your and her control. I am very grateful the object of my phobia is rare, and not an animal. I can handle snakes, tarantulas--and cats--all day :) --Fil > > > When I was a child, I didn't understand how anyone could fear cats > > > the way she did and does. Now, I realize she can't help it [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > --Fil Oh, now I'm curious. What is it? I am a mothophobe. I'm scared of moths and butterflies. But I can look at pictures of them and I can look at dead ones behind glass. I just can't be around any live ones because I'm terrified of the powder on their wings coming off on my skin. Their erratic flight path makes them so unpredictable, so I need to stay as far away as possible from them. I often scream in public when I see one and then everyone thinks I'm totally nuts :-( -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album >> I am very grateful the object of my phobia is rare, and not an >> animal. >> --Fil > Oh, now I'm curious. What is it? Me, too! Can you say its name? (When I was a kid, I was even afraid to say the names of the things I was afraid of, so I would understand if you felt the same way.) > I am a mothophobe. I'm scared of moths and butterflies... > I often scream in public when I see one and then everyone > thinks I'm totally nuts :-( But you're not as weird as TJ, who barely bats an eye at scorpions, rattlesnakes, killer bees, tarantulas, and herds of javalinas, but will run screaming from a moth. :) Joyce - no phobias here, no siree (NOT!) :) > >> I am very grateful the object of my phobia is rare, and not an > >> animal. [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > > Joyce - no phobias here, no siree (NOT!) :) LOL! Yeah, TJ had a lot of phobias (sock monkeys anyone???) but then dealt with all sorts of scary critters in her house and yard. Sometimes I feel like a train wreck because I have quite a few strong fears. Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid of blood, snakes, horses and people who are mentally handicapped. I get tunnel vision a lot and have to hyperventilate. I almost passed out looking at pictures of my nephew shortly after he was born. He was already cleaned up and there was no blood but it was the whole hospital atmosphere that just made me feel so weird :-( I should seek counselling. -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > Sometimes I feel like a train wreck because I have quite a few strong > fears. Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid > of blood, snakes, horses and people who are mentally handicapped. I > get tunnel vision a lot and have to hyperventilate. But then at the same time, you do a lot of things that I would be really afraid to do, like going bicycling for miles by yourself in the middle of nowhere in Burma. My sister once rescued someone from a burning car at the side of the road. (She received a medal for it from the city, too.) I was in awe of her, I don't know if I'd have that kind of courage. I was telling her that one day, and she said, "Well, I'd never have the nerve to get up in front of people and sing, either" (which I do). So the point is, what seems terrifying to one person might seem perfectly ordinary to someone else, and vice versa. A friend of mine recently pointed out that, unlike a lot of phobics, I don't have phobias about anything that isn't actually dangerous. All the things I'm phobic about are, in fact, things that could kill a person. But they're also things that are extremely unlikely to happen. So the way my phobias work is that I tend to believe that the horrifying thing I'm obsessed with is a very real and big possibility, such as a plane crash, or being eaten by a mountain lion in a state park. So it helps me to think about things like statistics and the law of averages when in those situations, because it gives me some perspective about how realistic those fears are. Things like, "You have a greater chance of being struck by lightening than by being attacked by a mountain lion." Of course, then if I'm out in a thunderstorm, I have to worry about lightening... :) Joyce > > Sometimes I feel like a train wreck because I have quite a few strong > > fears. Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Joyce Hmmm, that's interesting. You're right, my fears and phobias are not about anything really dangerous, except the snakes. I think nothing about riding my bike in Burma for miles. I honestly don't think it's dangerous and that anything could happen to me. I guess I figure I can deal with whatever might happen on the off chance that it did. I'm not afraid of death. I'm more afraid of being injured very badly and having to live. But I still don't consider the consequences a lot. I think the chances of stuff happening are so low, I'm willing to take the risk. But my real fears are all to do with things that make me uncomfortable. The blood thing is a real pain to deal with. I've passed out and hit my head from watching someone get their tongue pierced on TV. I get really icky feeling around sick people. I am worried about what will happen when Dennis and I get old. I don't know if I could handle having to be in hospitals a lot. Must stay healthy at all costs! ;-) -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > The blood thing is a real pain to deal with. I've > passed out and hit my head from watching someone get their tongue > pierced on TV. Wow! I hope you didn't bleed when you hit your head - that could cause a vicious cycle. :) Actually, I sometimes get squeamish about blood, too. (Note: if reading about blood makes you ill, you should probably skip the following two stories.) Last year, I was making a salad and using a new and very sharp knife. Suddenly, I sliced off a small piece of skin from my thumb. It wasn't that big an area (maybe 1/4-inch in diameter), but that thing bled like you wouldn't believe. I had a friend over, who was not at all squeamish, and she got me some bandaids from the bathroom. But there was so much blood that I had a hard time keeping the bandaid in place, it kept slipping around. I think that's what got me. Suddenly I broke out in a cold sweat, started shaking, and my vision started to go dark. I took off for the living room couch, to lie down before I fainted dead away. The dizzy spell didn't last too long, though, and I managed, with some help, to get the injury patched up. Another time, I had a dizzy spell when a nurse pricked my ear lobe in order to test my blood type. I was there for a blood drive, but when the nurse saw how I reacted to the little pin prick, she said forget it, I couldn't give blood. But I insisted, so she let me. Too bad - after donating my pint of blood, I suddenly got an intense low blood-sugar attack. But I didn't know what it was. I was lightheaded, nauseated, cold and clammy, and it lasted for 90 minutes! Finally, someone gave me something to eat, and I felt a little better. But I haven't given blood ever since. Joyce > > The blood thing is a real pain to deal with. I've > > passed out and hit my head from watching someone get their tongue [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Joyce Yeah, it's weird how stuff like that can physically affect us. Your stories sound very similar to what happens to me. Thankfully, reading about it isn't usually too bad. I sliced off a piece of my knuckle one time with an exacto knife and it bled and dripped all over the place. I was trying to rinse it off at the bathroom sink and I was yelling for Dennis. He arrived just in time to catch me in mid-faint. I also have a thing about needles. I have to be lying flat on my back to have one. I'm not nervous or scared beforehand, but every time I am sitting instead of lying down, I pass out and have bizarre convulsions with my eyes rolling to the back of my head. It can also happen if I get up too soon. I must lie there for at least 15 min. I could never give blood. I've passed out dozens of times in my life and every time it had something to do with my weirdness about blood. I am already psyching myself up because on Dec 2nd I have to have a major medical for our Australian visa, blood tests and everything. And I found out no breakfast beforehand. That makes it even worse:-( -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album > I also have a thing about needles. I have to be lying flat on my back > to have one. I'm not nervous or scared beforehand, but every time I > am sitting instead of lying down, I pass out and have bizarre > convulsions with my eyes rolling to the back of my head. Wow - have you ever had that checked out? That sounds really extreme, and not entirely psychological. I mean, yes, it's a psychological trigger, but that reaction sounds like something neurological is going on. It's weird that I have that fainting reaction to blood, because I don't really have a big emotional reaction to it. I mean, that time I sliced my thumb, I knew it wasn't a serious injury so I wasn't freaked out. I'm sure if I saw someone gushing blood I would be grossed out, but it's not a phobia of mine. I wonder if there's something more directly physical about getting lightheaded at the sight of blood, ie, not necessarily an emotional reaction at all. I also faint easily, although once I started recognizing the symptoms of a fainting spell, I knew to lie down or get my head low, etc, and it would go away. Before that, though, I would faint out cold from mild fevers or the flu. People found it alarming, but to me it was a very ordinary occurence. Joyce On Thu, 25 Nov 2004 23:22:56 +0000, jXwXeXrXmXoXnXt wrote: > > I also have a thing about needles. I have to be lying flat on my back > > to have one. I'm not nervous or scared beforehand, but every time I [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Joyce How is your blood pressure? >> I also faint easily, although once I started recognizing the symptoms >> of a fainting spell, I knew to lie down or get my head low, etc, and it >> would go away. Before that, though, I would faint out cold from mild >> fevers or the flu. People found it alarming, but to me it was a very >> ordinary occurence. > How is your blood pressure? Very normal, actually quite good. 110-120/70-80 range. When I feel sick to my stomach, it might be dipping down, as I will often have symptoms: cold sweats, lightheadedness, weakness, pounding heart. Joyce > >> I also faint easily, although once I started recognizing the symptoms > >> of a fainting spell, I knew to lie down or get my head low, etc, and [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > > Joyce That could be at several levels. In the short term, they all fall under what is called a "vasovagal reaction", which can be a response to something disturbing, or just to short-term stress. For example, I almost passed out the first time I was to draw blood from a newborn (by a heel stick). When the new medical students start to practice giving injections to, and talking blood from, one another, there are always a few that faint. Through a period of my ex-wife's illness, there were a number of times when an outpatient procedure got a bit out of hand and I was pressed into service as a circulating nurse or the like. The only time I became faint was when I had been on me feet for 20 hours or so and not certain when I last ate. OTOH, these symptoms also can be a deeper-seated phobic or panic disorder. That doesn't fit the rest of your description. I have classic phobic reactions when filling in financial forms -- taxes, expense reports, etc -- that will go into some faceless bureaucracy. Simply looking at the blank form can give terrible reactions, where I've gone into fire, rescued victims, and then stabilized them without being especially upset. >> >> I also faint easily, although once I started recognizing the >> symptoms [quoted text clipped - 39 lines] >being >especially upset. These symptoms could also indicate hypoglycemia. I am a type-II diabetic, and, if my blood sugars get too low, my blood pressure drops and I get the symptoms listed above (cold sweats, lightheadedness, weakness, rapid heartbeat). SignatureJohn F. Eldredge -- john@jfeldredge.com PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu "Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria > These symptoms could also indicate hypoglycemia. I am a type-II > diabetic, and, if my blood sugars get too low, my blood pressure > drops and I get the symptoms listed above (cold sweats, > lightheadedness, weakness, rapid heartbeat). Certainly another possibility. > These symptoms could also indicate hypoglycemia. I am a type-II > diabetic, and, if my blood sugars get too low, my blood pressure > drops and I get the symptoms listed above (cold sweats, > lightheadedness, weakness, rapid heartbeat). Yes, I'm unclear as to whether those symptoms (which I can get easily when I feel nauseous or have diarrhea) are from low blood pressure or low blood sugar. One time I had those symptoms for quite a long period of time while I was having a bad reaction to antibiotics. It wasn't an allergic reaction, just too many courses of different antiobiotics in too short a time, and I'd killed off all the good stuff in my intestines. Result was cramping and the cold sweat/lightheadedness/weakness/rapid heartbeat thing. I finally got scared and called the EMTs, who said my blood pressure was too low and they recommended taking me to the ER. But that time I gave blood they said I was having a low blood *sugar* episode, due to the sudden loss of blood. Actually, I once got low blood pressure from a medication I was trying, so that when I stood up, I got that sudden going-black thing that people get when they stand up too fast - but very intensely. I couldn't climb stairs or anything like that, and my resting pulse rate was about 140. (Clearly that was the wrong medication for me!) However, I didn't have any cold sweats or weakness. So maybe that's the difference. Any comments? I'd love to understand this better. (Howard, if you respond, could you try to use lay language, or define technical terms? I'm not in the medical field. Thanks!) Joyce "Howard Berkowitz" <hcb@gettcomm.com> wrote in message news:hcb- > OTOH, these symptoms also can be a deeper-seated phobic or panic > disorder. That doesn't fit the rest of your description. I have classic [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > into fire, rescued victims, and then stabilized them without being > especially upset. Now to me that is hilarious! And of course why I can make a living filling out such forms for others. Try to remember that most if not all the bureaucracy that will deal with those forms is not just faceless. Or as I sometimes have to explain to clients, we are feeding information to a computer. We have to feed it in a manner it finds acceptable. Or it will sic humans on us. Jo > "Howard Berkowitz" <hcb@gettcomm.com> wrote in message news:hcb- > > OTOH, these symptoms also can be a deeper-seated phobic or panic [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > a > manner it finds acceptable. Or it will sic humans on us. Sure. I'm fighting a situation with the State of Virginia, in which they created an estimated return based on IRS reporting, but will not accept the IRS information on state withholding. The state has shifted it to commecial collection agencies. I don't keep good records and can't substantiate this. Unfortunately, it's apparently impossible to get a certified copy of a Form W-2 from the IRS or Social Security Administration that contains the state informations. Employers involved are either out of business or refuse to provide it, saying "go to the IRS" > I have classic > phobic reactions when filling in financial forms -- taxes, expense > reports, etc -- that will go into some faceless bureaucracy. Simply > looking at the blank form can give terrible reactions, where I've gone > into fire, rescued victims, and then stabilized them without being > especially upset. I worked for a therapist who had something like this. She's a great therapist, but cannot fill out the billing forms for her clients' insurance - she would have major anxiety attacks from it, which makes it kind of hard to earn money. :) Because most of her clients are on disability or public assistance, she could not require them to do the paperwork - she had to do it. So that became my job - boring, but good money. Joyce > > I have classic > > phobic reactions when filling in financial forms -- taxes, expense [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > paperwork - she had to do it. So that became my job - boring, but good > money. Seriously, I am trying to work out a compromise with the IRS where I agree to have someone else handle my records. Crossing my fingers, I think my field is recovering enough economically that I will have the income to support that overhead. The last three years were very, very bad. > Seriously, I am trying to work out a compromise with the IRS where I > agree to have someone else handle my records. Crossing my fingers, I > think my field is recovering enough economically that I will have the > income to support that overhead. The last three years were very, very > bad. Wouldn't they let you hire an accountant to do all that? Joyce > > I have classic > > phobic reactions when filling in financial forms -- taxes, expense [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > > Joyce I had a chiropractor like that. The only one I ever really trusted to mess with my back. She finally limited her practice to cash or check only. $25 per visit. No insurance forms etc. She just could not deal with it. And Howard I owe you an apology. When you said it was a phobia I should have given you a little credit. I've tried once or twice without success to help someone who was truly phobic with their taxes. Unfortunately they could not tolerate even enough to provide me with the information I needed to help them. They would lose W-2'ss promptly on getting them, etc. A rough thing to have to deal with. Jo > > I also have a thing about needles. I have to be lying flat on my back > > to have one. I'm not nervous or scared beforehand, but every time I [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > and not entirely psychological. I mean, yes, it's a psychological trigger, > but that reaction sounds like something neurological is going on. Yes, well when it happens I'm always with a doctor or nurse! But they never seem to think much of it. I lie down and wait a while and then they say I'll be ok. I'm sure it's some sort of physical thing though. > It's weird that I have that fainting reaction to blood, because I don't > really have a big emotional reaction to it. I mean, that time I sliced [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > about getting lightheaded at the sight of blood, ie, not necessarily an > emotional reaction at all. Yes, it's that way with me too. I don't freak out when I see it and I don't really think it's gross, but when I'm around it, I pass out. So now I avoid it because I know what will happen. > I also faint easily, although once I started recognizing the symptoms > of a fainting spell, I knew to lie down or get my head low, etc, and it > would go away. Before that, though, I would faint out cold from mild > fevers or the flu. People found it alarming, but to me it was a very > ordinary occurence. Yeah, same here. I can tell in advance now and I hit the deck. Unfortunately for me sitting isn't usually enough, so I lie down. The weirdest things can set it off though, like when on our last trip to Canada, we were looking at pictures of our new nephew's birth (just after). Suddenly I broke out in a cold sweat and started shaking and got tunnel vision. I had to lie on the floor with a cold washcloth on my forehead. After a while I was able to continue looking at pictures and was ok. -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album >Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid >of blood, snakes, horses and people who are mentally handicapped. I >get tunnel vision a lot and have to hyperventilate. You just described all the things I like. I love blood, snakes, horses, and people who are mentally handicapped. :) I hope that you don't have to deal with those things too often though. I noticed that you liked that house gecko, which looks sort of snake-like to me, so maybe your phobias aren't too bad. > I almost passed >out looking at pictures of my nephew shortly after he was born. He >was already cleaned up and there was no blood but it was the whole >hospital atmosphere that just made me feel so weird :-( You were able to be with Dennis after his back surgery, so maybe that one's at least not at an incapacitating level. > >Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid > >of blood, snakes, horses and people who are mentally handicapped. I [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > you liked that house gecko, which looks sort of snake-like to me, so > maybe your phobias aren't too bad. Heehee! Wow, we're quite different, aren't we? No, I don't have to deal with those things often because I am an expert at avoidance ;-) I'm not afraid of geckos and lizards. Only snakes. And the smaller and skinnier the snake is, the more afraid I am. I'm ok with big snakes like boa constrictors but severely freaked out by these bright green little tree snakes around here. > > I almost passed > >out looking at pictures of my nephew shortly after he was born. He [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > You were able to be with Dennis after his back surgery, so maybe that > one's at least not at an incapacitating level. Well, that was a bit different. The hospital was like a fancy hotel and Dennis' room was nice and very un-hospitally. Also, he only had a 3 inch incision on his back and there was a big bandage over it so I didn't have to see anything. I couldn't really look at his arm where the IV went in though. But after it was all over, he was just a bit stiff for a few days. At least I can deal with that :-) -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album >> Not sure if I can call them phobias, but I'm also very afraid >> of blood, snakes, horses and people who are mentally handicapped. I [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > You were able to be with Dennis after his back surgery, so maybe that > one's at least not at an incapacitating level. I used to work in a hospital for the mentally handicapped. I remember one day, a downs syndrome patient asked me fore a cigarette. I gave hime one, 10 minutes later he came back with an uprooted bush and said, I brought you a flower. :-) I've never had a problem with blood either, I've donated more than 50 times. On a visit to the Ozarks in 1982, I held a live rattlesnake. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. > >> I am very grateful the object of my phobia is rare, and not an > >> animal. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > to say the names of the things I was afraid of, so I would understand > if you felt the same way.) It is a mutant dandelion. You have probably never seen one (my friends and DP never did until they started hanging out with me....and noticed my physical reaction whenever I saw one (clench hand, skyrocketing pulse, freezng in place, etc) I think they are caused by weed killer residues. Do a Google search on "mutant dandelion" or "deformed dandelion" they have some pics of some that were near Chernobyl. All the stems and heads are grown together into a huge, thick, nasty gnarled stem and a gross mutant head of like 20 flowers mooshed together. No way am I looking at those pics again. I don't like regular dandelions either but I can tolerate seeing and stepping on them. --Fil <snip> > So if she has a clinical phobia of cats, then it is nothing personal, > she just finds the very image/idea of one upsetting, for no logical > reason. That's hard when you want to share this part of your life, > but it is also something beyond both your and her control. I know that now, but I didn't as a young child. Oddly enough, I developed a phobia by the time I was 8 or 10, actually, now that I think about it, at around the time I was expected to use it myself, about fire, and to a lesser extent, electricity. My parents' efforts to insist that I just get over it were, ahh, unhelpful. When I started university and was fascinated by chemistry, I was motivated by a particularly scary lab instructor who insisted everyone had to light their own bunsen burner to go to the student counselling centre. The man I saw there did desensitization training, and it worked. I can light bunsen burners, matches, etc., and applied what I learned so that I could plug in electrical equipment. I still don't voluntarily build campfires or anything, although candles are OK. But this was never, at its worst, as bad as my mother and cats (and, to a much lesser degree, dogs). I might get a bit hysterical if someone tried to make me light a fire, but I could be in the same room with one burning in the fireplace, and was only mildly obsessive about pouring water on it when it was time to go to bed. But my mother can't even be in the same room as a cat. If you get someone good, psychiatric/ psychological care can really help. SignatureCheryl >I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to >add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >boogers in it, and if an animal had gotten anywhere near my food I would >have thrown it and the animal out!" That is so disheartening. We have a built-in tendency to take our loved ones seriously, especially our parents. They can hurt us so much. >Sigh, they were just supposed to be funny anecdotes mom! > [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] >excellent. The sad part is that I am extremely proud of my talented genius >of a brother, but mom makes it so hard for us to get along! A good thing to try to remember is not to let your parents interfere in your relationships with your siblings. Don't let them divide and conquer you. You and your siblings are the only ones who really know what life was like with your parents. And your siblings are the ones who will still be there, with you and for you, after your parents are gone. Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com > That is so disheartening. We have a built-in tendency to take our > loved ones seriously, especially our parents. They can hurt us so > much. And we can hurt them so much. That's part of loving someone. It's easy to dismiss a stranger who says or does something rude or hurtful, and of course, a lot of strangers don't do that anyway, because they learned as children that personal comments are not made to acquaintances and strangers. Well, some people learned that; the ones who comment on others' weight clearly didn't. But no one can hurt you more than someone you love, who loves you. SignatureCheryl <snip> > And we can hurt them so much. That's part of loving someone. It's easy to > dismiss a stranger who says or does something rude or hurtful, and of [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > But no one can hurt you more than someone you love, who loves you. -- > Cheryl My mother once said to me, very thoughtfully, like she was really thinking about it "Do you think I would have been better if I'd had you adopted?" Tweed Tweed wrote: >My mother once said to me, very thoughtfully, like she was really thinking >about it "Do you think I would have been better if I'd had you adopted?" OOOUCH!!! Pardon if I overstep by prying, does that mean you're an only child? Or did she mean if she'd had you adopted and kept your siblings? <G> One's careless enough, but the latter ... Seriously though, I put that down to just careless words. I wish my mouth and stomach were big enough to take back and swallow all the careless words I've spoken. Regards and Purrs, O J > Tweed wrote: > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > OOOUCH!!! Pardon if I overstep by prying, does that mean you're an > only child? No, she was aware that when I was younger I hadn't had the best chance in life. Initially I was horrified by what she said, but then I realised after a while what she really meant. Would I have had a better chance in life? Probably, yes. > Or did she mean if she'd had you adopted and kept your > siblings? <G> One's careless enough, but the latter ... My mother & I brought my two brothers up. > Seriously though, I put that down to just careless words. I wish my mouth > and > stomach were big enough to take back and swallow all the careless > words I've spoken. Yes, she was just thinking aloud, careless words. She was never renowned for her tact. When my brother's wife said she was expecting a second baby, my mom said oh, no, not another birthday present to buy !!! You have to laugh really. Tweed > Regards and Purrs, > O J >> Tweed wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > a while what she really meant. Would I have had a better chance in life? > Probably, yes. As far back as I can remember, I have known that my mother would have had an abortion if the amniocentesis (sp?) hadn't gone well, or if there were significant risk to her. At the time, she was considered old to be having a baby, and she and my father weren't willing to risk her life to have a baby. Knowing this has never hurt my feelings; instead, it makes me feel good to know that my parents really thought about the implications of bringing a child into the world, and to know that they really wanted me, or they wouldn't have had me. It's not really the same situation, but maybe it has similarities. Ultimately, your mom really wanted you, but maybe she also wonders if she did the right thing by keeping you. Good parents always want the best for their kids. Signaturemonique > Knowing this has never hurt my feelings; instead, it makes me feel good > to know that my parents really thought about the implications of > bringing a child into the world, and to know that they really wanted me, > or they wouldn't have had me. > It's not really the same situation, but maybe it has similarities. > Ultimately, your mom really wanted you, but maybe she also wonders if > she did the right thing by keeping you. Good parents always want the > best for their kids. Great answer! Too few people take that part of parenting seriously. Joyce >> That is so disheartening. We have a built-in tendency to take our >> loved ones seriously, especially our parents. They can hurt us so [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > But no one can hurt you more than someone you love, who loves you. Aint that the truth. :-( SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. > I just posted a rant in answer to Jill's rant about her family and wanted to > add an example. Even after all my avowals, I still try to get my mom's [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > CatNipped IMHO Mothers like this really do not feel good about themselves-- therefore how could this person they produced be of value? Give up trying to please mother and please yourself. MLB Congrats! All your stories should be published! Best wishes, SignaturePolonca & Soncek <snip> > Now, I have had one of my "Prissy" stories published in a real live book, > "The Cats of Our Lives", edited by Franklin Dohanyos (you can still buy it > on Amazon.com - ISBN 1-55972-487-0), "Prissy Adopts a Duck", page 171. <snip >Sorry, I'll get off my rant now (it seems to be the week for rants!!). > >Hugs, > >CatNipped Holiday bring up memories sometime. So rant now, and I'm sure (from what I know of you) you be there to listen to someone elses rant. Suz Macmoosette =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= =^..^= "People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick |\__/| (=':'=) (")_(") |
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