After the spam we got, I couldn't resist rewriting it...

*******IT'S ILLEGAL NO JOKE*******

I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it: A little while
back, I was browsing through news groups and e-mails, just like you
are now, and came across an article similar to this that said you can
get lots of sh.t within weeks with no initial investment!!

So, I  thought, "Yeah right, this must be a scam, another pyramid
scheme." It is, and it's illegal, but like most of us, I was curious,
so I KEPT reading.

Anyway, it said that you send a note to each of the six names and
addresses stated in the article.

You then place your own name and address in the bottom of the list,
and post the article in at least 200 news groups. (There are
thousands) No catch, that was it.

So after thinking it over, and talking to a few people first, I
thought about trying it.

WELL GUESS WHAT!!!

Within seven days, I started getting sh.t in the mail! I was shocked!!
I figured it would end soon, but the sh.t just kept coming in.

In my first week, I received about 28 pounds of sh.t. By the end of
the second week I had received a total of more than 1000 pounds!! In
the third week I had more than 10,000 pounds and it's still growing!
This is now my fourth week and I have received a total of 42,000
pounds and it's still coming rapidly. Ah! The smell of success!!

It's certainly worth six stamps, and I have spent more than that on
the lottery without ever winning AND it's allowing me to add to the
litterbox of my little ones.

Let me tell you how this works and most important, why it works. Also
make sure you print this out NOW, so you can get the information off
of it, as you will need it.

I promise you that if you follow the directions exactly that you will
start getting more sh.t than you thought possible by doing something
so easy!!

SUGGESTION:
Read this entire message carefully!! (Print it out or download it).
Follow the simple directions and watch the sh.t come in!! It's easy.
It's illegal. And, your investment is only postage!!!

IMPORTANT:
This is a rip-off, but it is a decent rip-off; it's illegal; and it is
virtually no risk - it really works!! If all the following
instructions are adhered to, you will receive extraordinary dividends
that will adhere to you!!

PLEASE NOTE:
Please follow the directions EXACTLY, and 50,000 pounds of sh.t or
more can be yours in 20 to 60 days. This program remains successful
because of the anger and irritation of the recipients. Please continue
its success by carefully adhering to the instructions.

You will now become apart of the Waste Disposal business. You are in
the business of disposing of Biological Waste Products. Here are the
four easy steps to success:

STEP ONE:
Get six separate pieces of paper and write the following on each piece
of paper "PLEASE GIVE ME SOME sh.t."

Next, place one paper in each of the six envelopes and seal them. You
now should have six sealed envelopes, each with a piece of paper
stating the above phrase, your name and address. What you are doing is
creating a service.

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ILLEGAL!!!!! You are initiating a illegitimate
service and boy, will you pay for it!!

Like most of us I was a little skeptical and little worried about the
legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office
(1-800-238-5355) and they confirmed that it is probably illegal, even
using a very carefully-worded descriptions of AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT
ENTERPRISE!!

Stamp and mail the six envelopes to the following addresses:

1) Garfield Cat
Sadly, Odie Dog declined to join the list, as he claims he gets enough
sh.t from Garfield already.

2) Heathcliff Cat
Heathcliff enjoys giving sh.t to other people.

3) Marmaduke Dog
Big dog. Think big sh.t!!

4) The Mutts animals
These guys hang out in the deli. If that doesn't generate high-quality
sh.t, nothing will.

5) Three Blind Mice
They've received a lot of sh.t from the Farmer and his wife, and ready
to give back to the community.

6) Amy the Wonder Dog
University of Texas at Austin

STEP TWO:
Now take the #1 name off the list that you see above, move the other
names up (six becomes 5, 5 becomes 4, and etc.) and add YOUR NAME as
number 6 on the list.

STEP THREE:
Change anything you need to but try to keep this article as close to
original as possible. Now post your amended article to at least 200
news groups. : (I think there are close to 24,000 groups) All you need
is 200, but remember, the more you post, the more people you piss off
and the more sh.t you receive!!

Post mostly to animal newsgroups, where the need for waste disposal is
greatest. Posting to political newsgroups will also yield the purest,
high-quality sh.t.

This is STILL perfectly illegal!! If you have any doubts, refer to
Title 18 Sec. 1302 & 1341 of the Postal Lottery laws, and you will
STILL find this is completely and totally ILLEGAL from start to
finish. But hey! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!

Keep a copy of these steps for yourself and whenever you need people
to give you more sh.t, you can use it again, and again. PLEASE
REMEMBER that this program remains successful because of the anger and
irritation of the recipients and by their carefully adhering to
directions (this becomes much easier as the sh.t begins to adhere to
YOU).

Look at it this way. If you continue to irritate members of the
various newsgroups, the program will continue and the sh.t that so
many others have received will come your way.

NOTE:
You may want to retain every name and address sent to you, either on a
computer or hard copy and keep the notes people send you. This
VERIFIES that you are truly in deep sh.t. Be sure to wash your hands
first.

So, as each post is downloaded and the directions carefully followed,
all members will be recognized for their participation as a sh.t
Kicker.

Your name will move up the list geometrically so that when your name
reaches the #1 position you will be receiving thousands of dollars in
CASH!!! (Okay, your name moves up the list linearly, but the sh.t
increases geometrically).

What an opportunity!!! What a country!!! What a load of sh.t!!!

Send it now, add your own name to the list and you're in business!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!

THAT'S IT!! All you have to do, and IT REALLY WORKS!!!

Best Wishes

Hugs and Purrs,
Mark