 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
| HomeDiscussion GroupsGeneral TopicsCat AnecdotesHealth and BehaviorRescue CatKB.com Contact UsLink To UsSearch & Site Map |
Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / December 2007My father is dying
I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want his daughter to see him with a home health aid (yes, Mom finally agreed she needed help) changing his soiled bedclothes. OKAY? So please don't criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not doing so. I love my father dearly. But I called and offered to come and help out. Mom said NO. So I have accepted the fact that he doesn't want any of us to see him like this. I've also accepted the fact that Mom has told me I'd just be in the way at this point. She said she'd be concerned about keeping me "occupied" or some such thing when she should be focused on him. Dad hasn't gotten out of bed since a couple of days after he got that copy of Hull's Arithmetic I sent to him. It seems it was the very last thing he wanted, and I'm glad I could give it to him. He took to his bed and he hasn't left it except to go to the bathroom, but now he needs to be assisted. Mom did engage a home health nurse from the local hospital. He's not eating. He's had a couple of cans of Ensure in the last few days, but that's it. He refuses to go to the hospital. Unless he's unconscious or comatose, they can't force him to go to a hospital. I don't think he wants to die in a hospital. I think he wants to die at home. And Mom says NO, *do not* come here. She says "I'll call you when I need you." So I'm respecting her wishes. His wishes, too. He doesn't want his children to see him this way. Dad is such a proud man. They don't call them "The Few, the Proud, the Marines" for nothing. I can understand how he feels. I'm the only child who ever showed any interest in his miltary service. He was in WWII, Korea, and two tours in Vietnam. However you feel about these wars/conflicts, he did was he was ordered to do. Am I proud of him? Absolutely. Will I respect his and my mom's wishes by not seeing him as he is now? You bet. You can see why I'm rather upside down lately. I have an audio tape (reel to reel) from when he was in Vietnam in 1966. That's how he and mom wrote "letters" to each other. He gave me the mini reel to reel recorder back in the 1980's, never realizing there was still a small a reel of tape in it. I listened to it. It was a letter to Mom telling her what they were going to do that day. (Nothing devastating, they were going to get supplies.) And then he said "Jillie's birthday is coming up and she deserves a real bedroom." (I'd been sleeping on a glorified cot as we moved from place to place up to that point.) He said, "Go get her a bedroom set. One of those frilly ones with a canopy on top. She'll like that." Oh Gawd. I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. Thank you. Jill > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? OK, I'll respect your wishes and just send purrs your way. Julie, Hobbes, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus When my father was dieing, years ago, he asked to see me. Now, this is the man who didn't want one of those things in his family. I am an albino so the white hair (until recently that is) and nearly blind. He tormented me all my life. When the hospital called to say he wanted to see me, I said no to tell him to take it up with God. I didn't hate him but I wouldn't come and pretend just because he was checking out. So, do what makes you sane and let the hereafter settle it all. Prayers and Purrs. >> I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to >> go >> see him!" Okay? > > OK, I'll respect your wishes and just send purrs your way. > Julie, Hobbes, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. Purrs for your father's passing.  SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jill I'm sorry to hear about this Jill. Prayers for your family. Sometimes, I don' t know if it is harder to know it is coming or not. It's always difficult and you can only do what you can do. Mostly, I hope it is peaceful. Jill, purrs for you and your mom at this difficult time. I think you should absolutely do what you and your family agree is best for all concerned. You made him happy getting him something he truly wanted and you were a good daughter to him. I lost my father when I was 26 and I listened to what other people told me to do rather than what I wanted do (this was regarding his funeral) and in looking back I have always regretted it. So I say follow your heart. Please accept our heartfelt condolences. Christine > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill (((((((((Christine))))))))) SignatureJoy Constant change is here to stay. > Jill, purrs for you and your mom at this difficult time. I think you > should absolutely do what you and your family agree is best for all [quoted text clipped - 86 lines] >> >> Jill > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill Purrs for you dad, your mom and for you. It must be terribly hard for you, but I think you are doing the right thing by respecting their wishes. Of course, what really counts is that *you* feel you are doing the right thing. ((((((((Jill))))))))) Joy > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. > Thank you. > > Jill I am so sorry to hear about your father. Purrs going out to you and your family. Reading your post bring back memories of my father's passing in December some years ago. I just lost my job in a massive layoff. Didn't want to spend the money on a plane ticket to see my parents over Christmas. A few days before Chrismas my father had a fatal heart attack. I flew back on Christmas Eve for the funeral. It was a very difficult time. Took me a long time to get over losing both my job and my father within 2 weeks. Take care. Winnie >> I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom >> is [quoted text clipped - 20 lines] > > Winnie (((((((((Winnie))))))))) Joy > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill Jill my family and pack is sending purrs and prayers But I have to say do what your heart says you may regret it if you don't I am so sorry you are going thru this. > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jill I hope your father has a gentle end, Jill. I would never presume to tell you what you 'must' do, but I understand that you're naturally upset at this turn of events. In some measure, he is controlling the circumstances of his death, and I can definitely understand his wanting to die at home, rather than in the hospital, and to be remembered as a proud and dignified man by his children. {{{Jill}}} Melissa > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jill I am so sorry to hear this, Jill. It was on of the hardest times for me when my father died 1993 - when I was 33. My mother died one year later. I have seen both of them, my sister didn`t. She still regrets it. All I want to say is - follow your hearts desire. This man loves you. And you love him. And please forgive me for saying that "proudness" sometimes changes to "stubborness". Love breaks up those walls. Forgive me please for speaking out my feelings. Bettina {{{{Jill}}}} > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > doing > so. So sorry to hear this, Jill, its so tough. But you are doing the right thing for your family, for you. Only *you* can know what that best is, so don't let anyone tell you its wrong. They might do things differently than you, but they aren't *you*, aren't your Dad, aren't your Mum. You know these people better than anyone - you know yourself best of all. Do what is right for *you* and *your* situation, not anyone else. {{{{{Jill & Family}}}}} <snip> > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my > mom is right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip > will be for his funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully > would be appreciated. Thank you. > > Jill {{{{{{{{{{{{ Jill }}}}}}}}}}}} Why do these things always seem to happen around xmas? Such a sad time of year. :-( SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) Cats leave pawprints on your heart http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk > <snip> >> I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > Why do these things always seem to happen around xmas? Such a sad > time of year. :-( Thank you, Adrian. But I don't know. Would it be better in July? August, when he was born? The fact is my father may well hang on for months. But I think he's ready to go. I think that's why he has taken to his bed. He definitely doesn't want to die in a hospital hooked up to tubes and machines in an impersonal setting. And Mom certainly can't stay at the hospital 24/7. Know what I mean? Dad's mother was moved to a nursing home when she was around his age (but she didn't have someone like my mom around). She expired alone in a strange place and all she kept saying after my father and his sister moved her from her home of 50-some years is, "I want to go home". I know he remembers that. He knows he's dying. And he wants to die at home. I respect that. I also respect that he doesn't want anyone to see him in this condition. I remember when my mother went to see her mom in the hospital right before grandma died. She told me it looked like her mother was already dead when they let her in the room. She wasn't dead. But she may as well have been. Mom said this wasn't the woman she remembered as her mother. This is what I think my Dad is asking for. That we remember him for who he was. Not for what he is right now. And not to see him hooked up to some tubes in some impersonal room when he breathes his last. He wants to be at home. Jill >> <snip> >>> I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my [quoted text clipped - 45 lines] > > Jill {{{{{{{{{{Jill}}}}}}}}}} I admire your gumption to NOT go running over there, and honoring his wishes! I think maybe some Marine rubbed off your father and onto you! Signature-- The ONE and ONLY lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)© email me at nalee1964 (at) insightbb (dot) com http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep > Thank you, Adrian. But I don't know. Would it be better in July? > August, when he was born? The fact is my father may well hang on for [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > Jill Jill, I lost my father May of last year. I saw him about a month before he died and I am glad I did but I would have respected his wishes and even understood if he had not wanted his kids to see him at that time. If your father would rather you carry an image of him in his strength I don't see that as the worst thing. Be well, Andy >> <snip> >>> I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > been. > Mom said this wasn't the woman she remembered as her mother. I can understand that. When my husband was dying, he was in the hospital, but at first he was able to get up and sit in a chair part of the time. One day when I went to visit him, I saw an old man sitting in a chair beside my husband's empty bed. I thought they had moved my husband to a different room and put someone else in there. When I got closer, I saw that the 'old man' was my husband. He was 56 at the time. > This is what I think my Dad is asking for. That we remember him for who > he [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Jill I can understand his wishes, although they would not be those of everybody. There are certain times when decisions have to be made on an individual basis, but too many people are ready to tell others how they should handle things. I'm sure your mother will be getting all sorts of unrequested, and usually unwanted, advice, now and for some time to come. Your attitude about seeing your father shows that you will be a big help in supporting your mother against these well-meaning busybodies. Joy <snip> >I can understand that. When my husband was dying, he was in the hospital, >but at first he was able to get up and sit in a chair part of the time. One >day when I went to visit him, I saw an old man sitting in a chair beside my >husband's empty bed. I thought they had moved my husband to a different >room and put someone else in there. When I got closer, I saw that the 'old >man' was my husband. He was 56 at the time. I went through a similar thing on the night my great uncle died. He died at home as he wished, with hospice care. I was still on active duty, and it had been a couple years since I'd seen him. He died the night I came home on leave for Christmas one year. My mother is an RN and has always been the first person the extended family calls when there is a health question. Anyway, my aunt called my mother and said she thought the time had come, and my mother asked me to drive her. I didn't even know he had been sick (he asked that the family not be told, because he didn't want a bunch of family sitting around the deathbed). I would never have recognized the man laying on the bed as man Uncle. >> This is what I think my Dad is asking for. That we remember him for who >> he [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > >Joy agreed SignatureSteve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit, Spot, Princess and Furby with loving memories of Rocky (RB) > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 64 lines] > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. > Thank you. You won't hear any criticism from me. I have a dad who can be difficult-- I just thank God for his girlfriend Adrienne, who takes care of everything for him. So just continue to thank whatever powers that be that he's safe and taken care of . We are revving up the purrs for his comfort and peace. > criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not doing > so. Absolutely! > but that's it. He refuses to go to the hospital. Unless he's unconscious > or comatose, they can't force him to go to a hospital. I don't think he > wants to die in a hospital. I think he wants to die at home. I think we all ought to be lucky enough to die at home, surrounded by those we choose to have around. > And Mom says NO, *do not* come here. She says "I'll call you when I need > you." So I'm respecting her wishes. His wishes, too. He doesn't want his > children to see him this way. I can't agree with you more. > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. Lots and lots of purrs for you and your family. SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com Would that we could die at home. My husband knew he was going to die and stayed at home until I was so exhausted my health was in question. Then, and only then, did he agree to go to the hospital for the last week of his life. >> criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not >> doing [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > Lots and lots of purrs for you and your family. > Would that we could die at home. My husband knew he was going to die > and stayed at home until I was so exhausted my health was in > question. Then, and only then, did he agree to go to the hospital > for the last week of his life. This is why my mom has a home health aid from the local hospice coming in to take care of him 4 times a week. Gives her a break and he's not left alone at home. It's an alternative. Jill >>> criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by >>> not doing [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] >> Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov >> Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com >> Would that we could die at home. My husband knew he was going to die >> and stayed at home until I was so exhausted my health was in [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Jill Jill - I'm sorry to read this but I do think you are doing the right thing by honoring their requests. Was glad to see your mother has help from hospice - we had this when my father died in 2001 and was absolutely determined to die at home. Someone came every day and I can't tell you the flood of relief we felt the day the chief nurse, who checked in often ,announced a nurse from hospice would be staying 24 hours a day. They were wonderful people and my mother was assured that my father had good care and was pain free. Lorna, with purrs from Chessie & Nikki Hospice is a wonderful group of people. However my husband didn't want them around and was pretty rude so I tried to do it as long as I could. Would never do it again or wouldn't let someone else go through what I did without offering to help. >>> Would that we could die at home. My husband knew he was going to die >>> and stayed at home until I was so exhausted my health was in [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > care and was pain free. > Lorna, with purrs from Chessie & Nikki > Hospice is a wonderful group of people. However my husband didn't want them > around and was pretty rude so I tried to do it as long as I could. Would > never do it again or wouldn't let someone else go through what I did without > offering to help."Lorna" <Lorna@Ilikecats&genealogy.com> wrote in message Rob didn't want Hospice until I explained to him that part of hospice is for him to be able to be at home for as long as he wants. Now, while he would rather not need/qualify for hospice, he wouldn't want to do this final journey without them. Rob wants to go at home surrounded by his beloved owners, family, and hospice. We respect that, and hospice is here so that we can manage without losing our sanity. Pam S. Dear Jill, Am 01.12.2007 schrieb jmcquown: > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. > Thank you. our best purrs are coming over the pond to your dad. May he have a painless and quick trip to the bridge. I admire your strenght to follow his and your mom's wishes. I don't know if I could have done that. You are such a good daughter. Therefore we send additional purrs to comfort you. Purrs from Inge and the catgang SignatureCatManiacs World: http://www.gwsystems.com/inge > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill Prayers and purrs for that old Marine to pass as peacefully as he can. My Air Force pilot friend who served in all those same theatres just passed a few weeks ago. He will be waiting to swap tall tales with your dad. The thing is, most of those tall tales are only too true. Jo >> I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You >> have to go [quoted text clipped - 76 lines] > > Jo I'm sorry to hear about your friend's passing. I'm sure they'll swap some tales! But it's not like fish tales, where the fish get bigger and bigger with each telling. When it comes to war, there's no need to exaggerate. Jill I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Purrs and prayers on the way. I 'm sure it's hard for you to honor his wish but, you are doing what he asked. Would he talk to you on the phone if you called? Ann Signatureread Sam's blog at http://kittens-3.blogspot.com/ > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill > I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. Purrs and prayers on the way. > > I 'm sure it's hard for you to honor his wish but, you are doing what > he asked. Would he talk to you on the phone if you called? > > Ann No, he won't talk on the phone, Ann. I contacted his older sister this morning to let her know what was going on. She called my mom. He wouldn't even talk to her. It's all about what he wants now. > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jill Purrs for a peaceful passing for your Dad and purrs of comfort for you and your family. It must be horrible being torn between wanting to see him "one last time" and respecting his and your Mom's wishes. Sam, with a salute to your Dad for his service to our country. ((((((((((((((((Jill)))))))))))))) No advice, you're the one who knows the people involved and are the only one who can judge the situation. If you believe that is truly what your parents want, then by all means respect their wishes. I say that only because sometimes people say one thing, but mean the opposite. My grandfather lived his last 20 some-odd years in a rest home. Whenever someone visited him, he always started off saying how he wished they didn't have to see him in his present condition. But before long he was overjoyed that they had come to see him. OTOH, when my Great Uncle was diagnosed with terminal cancer, the only people he wanted notified was his church. He didn't want a lot of family members hanging around. My parents knew, but only because my mother is an Registered Nurse and has always been the first person the extended family calls when they have health questions. He died at home, as he wished, with only his wife, sister in law, my mom, I, and his minister in attendance. (The only reason I was there was because I arrived home on leave the night he died, and my Mom didn't want to drive herself.) >I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go >see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] >Jill > SignatureSteve Touchstone, faithful servant of Sammy, Little Bit, Spot, Princess and Furby with loving memories of Rocky (RB) you are doing the one thing that means more than anything else in my book... you are honoring your parents by doing as they wish... it doesn't matter what is best for you you are doing what is best for them, just get your bags packed, tell the vet you will need to drop off kitty and bird on short notice, and while you are waiting, journal your memories of your dad, that might make you cry but you will be happier later to have all of it written down, Lee > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want [quoted text clipped - 50 lines] > > Jill Lee is right about the journaling. Over the last six years so many good things in my life would be gone if I hadn't done this. As pain and sorrow and sometimes anger comes, it can wash over the good stuff. You will never regret writing down the happy memories. > you are doing the one thing that means more than anything else in my > book... [quoted text clipped - 83 lines] >> >> Jill > Lee is right about the journaling. Over the last six years so many > good things in my life would be gone if I hadn't done this. As pain > and sorrow and sometimes anger comes, it can wash over the good > stuff. You will never regret writing down the happy memories. Agreed. You know, about 10 years ago I gave each of them a book embossed with their names on the front. It was essentially a blank "memory" book with sections for them to write about where they'd lived, gone to school, did for a living (if applicable), etc. I thought it was a good gift idea and figured it would be great to hear the recollections from them, first-hand. I'm sure I would have read some things they'd never bothered to tell me! They never did anything with those books :( I sure wish they had. Jill >> you are doing the one thing that means more than anything else in my >> book... [quoted text clipped - 71 lines] >>> >>> Jill First all hugs and purrs > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want > his daughter to see him with a home health aid (yes, Mom finally agreed she > needed help) changing his soiled bedclothes. OKAY? So please don't > criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not doing > so. You won't hear it from me I understand your dads wishes - my dad was much the same he would always be saying "Come over if you want to....if you must but I'm tired so I might not be awake when you've got to come such a long way and you're not working so it'll cost you and...and..." I read between the lines and kept out of it. Also to be honest I didn't want to see my big strong dad who'd always been there for me fading away so we talked on the phone a lot and I talked to mum on the side about how he was and how she was coping > Dad hasn't gotten out of bed since a couple of days after he got that copy > of Hull's Arithmetic I sent to him. It seems it was the very last thing he > wanted, and I'm glad I could give it to him. That's good that you got it for him I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. Obvious mass purrs and prayers coming from here Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs Caring purrs to you and your family. SignatureCharleen Aggie Marble, Victor Velcro The Spirit of Mr. Pumpkin St. Cloud, Florida USA > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to > go [quoted text clipped - 66 lines] > > Jill > I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go > see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want > his daughter to see him with a home health aid (yes, Mom finally agreed she > needed help) changing his soiled bedclothes. OKAY? So please don't > criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not doing > so. Of course you must honor your parents' wishes. It reads like your mom is doing only what your dad wants her to do. I know this is hard and eating you up, but the kindest thing you can do is to honor your parents' wishes. Before I went into the hospital and Rob regained his bodily control, we had adult diapers here for him. Rob hated them, but knew that he needed them. He made me promise not to tell his parents, though. After he didn't need them anymore, he told his mom that he'd had a little problem before he got better and that he was glad that there were diapers around as I'd needed the help the day I went into the hospital. Not because of incontinence, but from drainage from the spider bite. Rob needed more help than that, and I'm glad to say that he was determined that I would come home from the hospital to find him as much like his old self as he could make himself. He's still supposed to use a walker for balance, but he won't if he can help it. The long and short of what I'm trying to say is that we all need help at times, even if that help is to let them go with what dignity they can. You're doing your part and the least we can do as your friends is to support you all we can. Love and hugs, Pam S. Pam, some things aren't to laugh at but, if, rather when, I get to the stage I need a walker, I already have mine picked out. It is one of those with the seat and the handle grips like a bike. I can walk when I can and someone can push when I can"t. Oh, it is hot pink and has a basket!!! >> I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to >> go [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > > Pam S. > Pam, some things aren't to laugh at but, if, rather when, I get to the stage > I need a walker, I already have mine picked out. It is one of those with > the seat and the handle grips like a bike. I can walk when I can and > someone can push when I can"t. Oh, it is hot pink and has a basket!!!" I'm trying to talk the kids into the adult tricycle. They say nope. Pam S. Well, with my vision problem, I don't think the world is ready for me on one of them. I still have Bobs electric wheel chair but haven't had the nerve to take it down to my son's house yet! >> Pam, some things aren't to laugh at but, if, rather when, I get to the >> stage [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > Pam S. > Pam, some things aren't to laugh at but, if, rather when, I get to the > stage I need a walker, I already have mine picked out. It is one of those > with the seat and the handle grips like a bike. I can walk when I can and > someone can push when I can"t. Oh, it is hot pink and has a basket!!! Just so you'll know. Once you get it you are expected to decorate the basket. Nearly everyone at the independent living facility where my parents lived had one of those. Even those who could get around withoug a walker, but needed a bit of help if they needed to carry anything to their apartments. Or a place to sit and catch their breath if they overdid a bit. I like the lady who loved Bulldogs. She had pictures and some small stuffed ones in the basket. Jo >>> I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to >>> go [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] >> >> Pam S. not much to add, except {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Jill & family }}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Jeanne Hedge ============ http://www.jhedge.com I can not and will not tell you to disrespect the wishes of your parents, as hard as it must be on yourself right now; on anyone who loves a dear one, and the first instinct is to go. It sounds like you have an incredible love for your father (I envy you) and this must be chomping into you. Nor will i criticize. Not my place. Right now I have a dear friend who will not allow me to see her with the advanced condition of Lou Gehrig's she has. Not the same, i know. Sucks nonetheless. I'd write them; make tapes maybe. Perhaps that will let Mom & Dad both know you are there and are supporting both of them, even if not there in body. For the meantime, i will respect YOUR wishes, and just offer my prayers for your family, and for you to get through it. Blessed be, Baha >I'll tell you up front, I don't want anyone here to tell me "You have to go >see him!" Okay? He doesn't want that. He's a proud man. He does not want >his daughter to see him with a home health aid (yes, Mom finally agreed she >needed help) changing his soiled bedclothes. OKAY? So please don't >criticize me and tell me I MUST GO. I'm honoring their wishes by not doing >so. >I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is >right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his >funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. >Thank you. > >Jill Peaceful purrs & hugs from our house to yours. We couldn't do a damn thing when we got to my mom's hospital room just as the crash cart was going in. I fscking lost it right there in ICU. My heart goes out to you big-time there Jill, 'cause it sucked that I was there when it happened and it sucked for my brother when he didn't get there in time. Signatureannoyed@net.spammers Craig, Kathi & "Cat Five" the tabby girl "One way that you can tell that 'Mythbusters' has been in the area is to look for shrapnel in the trees." - Jamie Hyneman >>I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom >>is [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > Jill, 'cause it sucked that I was there when it happened and it sucked for > my brother when he didn't get there in time. There is really no good way to lose somebody you love. However, the love and concern of friends and family does help. Joy (BTDT) > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And > my mom is right. My being there won't change anything. My next > trip will be for his funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass > peacefully would be appreciated. Thank you. I'm so sorry. That must feel awful. Purrs for your dad and for you. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca <snip> > I'll miss him. I really will. But there's nothing I can do. And my mom is > right. My being there won't change anything. My next trip will be for his > funeral. So purrs for my dad to pass peacefully would be appreciated. > Thank you. > > Jill Lots and lots of purrs, Polonca and Soncek
|
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2008 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.