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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / November 2007OT/This is sooo funny
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's a.s and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! =:0 > Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, > Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! > WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! > Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, > Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! > WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! Although you tell it in the first person, that joke has been wandering the internet for at least five years! (However, it IS funny, so probably bears repeating.) no it was not me. copied it and did not change how it was reported. >> Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, >> Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > internet for at least five years! (However, it IS funny, so probably > bears repeating.) > no it was not me. copied it and did not change how it was reported. "Reported" being the operative word. It's like the $250 USD Neiman Marcus cookie tale that circulated so widely for so long. Neiman Marcus doesn't *sell* cookies :) >>> Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the >>> puppies, Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] >> wandering the internet for at least five years! (However, it IS >> funny, so probably bears repeating.) Oh, goodie, another ROFLOL story to pass on! Hilarious! And gutsy, too! Christine > Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, > Dallas and Smokey, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! > WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! People who ask those kinds of obvious questions deserve what they get. So, as many things start, here is my STORY. My husband had been in a car accident and was in a wheel chair most of his adult life. My son developed a vascular disease while overseas in the Navy which resulted in the loss of one leg below the knee and, the loss of half of his other foot. I am nearly blind. So we were going into IHOP (pancake house) and the son was on crutches and I was pushing hubby in the wheel chair. This lady grabbed me in a bear hug and said something like "Oh you poor dear, you really have your hands full". To which my son straight faced replied. "Yeah and if we hadn't been so drunk we let the blind one drive, we would all be out playing golf!" She may have meant well but I don't like strangers grabbing me or deciding what my life is all about. > Oh, goodie, another ROFLOL story to pass on! Hilarious! > And gutsy, too! [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >> behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! >> WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!!! > People who ask those kinds of obvious questions deserve what they get. > So, as many things start, here is my STORY. My husband had been in a [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > well but I don't like strangers grabbing me or deciding what my life is > all about. Wow. That was a GREAT comeback. One time, before I had cats here where I live now, I lived with a much younger girl and her cat. We didn't see her much, but one day I came home and found a hairball, cleaned it up and knowing if it was MY cat I would want to know so I could give her laxatone or something. So, when the roomie came home, I said "I found a hairball today and cleaned it up." and she looked at me in surprise and said "Was it Sammie's?" It took all I had not to respond "No, it was mine. I must be shedding." Instead I was good and said, "Yes. I thought you might want to know about it." Yeesh. "Granby" <spaz@joink.com> said: > This lady grabbed me in a bear hug and said something like "Oh > you poor dear, you really have your hands full". To which my son > straight faced replied. "Yeah and if we hadn't been so drunk we let the > blind one drive, we would all be out playing golf!" She may have meant > well but I don't like strangers grabbing me or deciding what my life is > all about. Ha ha ha!!! Good one. What is it with people? > One time, before I had cats here where I live now, I lived with a much > younger girl and her cat. We didn't see her much, but one day I came > home and found a hairball, cleaned it up and knowing if it was MY cat I > would want to know so I could give her laxatone or something. So, when > the roomie came home, I said "I found a hairball today and cleaned it > up." and she looked at me in surprise and said "Was it Sammie's?" > It took all I had not to respond "No, it was mine. I must be shedding." ROFL!! Joyce > People who ask those kinds of obvious questions deserve what they get. So, > as many things start, here is my STORY. My husband had been in a car [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > > - Show quoted text - I got "Here's Your Sign" remarks all the time at the schools. Now these are generally some bright kids, but some of the questions were in the OMG category. Are you our teacher? Nope, I'm the janitor, I'm filling in for the day. Where is "__________"? Well, it's like this, I walked by and saw that s/he was having so much fun that I kidnapped her/him and locked them up some where and now the classroom is mine, all mine. insert maniacal laugh. Are you a real teacher? Nope, I'm really Santa Claus checking out your behavior. Have you been naughty or nice this year? How much do they pay you for this? More than you'd think, honey. It's hard to find people who'll willingly put up with you students. And so forth... Pam S. who has a smart mouth and little tact We have a new business manager and she asked me how many people worked here? I said "About a third" Some people think I'm joking....I'm not Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
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