What is her opinion of what is happening? Has she offered any suggestions
for how to win the cat over? Does she seem sympathetic to you, or does
she think it's your fault her cat doesn't like you? Maybe he's being
territorial/jealous about your girlfriend?

Does he also jump on her in the middle of the night? That is, is this
just something he does, rather than something he does to *you*? Some cats
can be a nuisance in the middle of the night - they want attention, food,
to go outside, or whatever, and will think nothing of pawing, nosing,
jumping on, or otherwise bothering the sleeping humans. (One of my cats
stands right next to my head and yowls when she gets the idea that she
must go out in the middle of the night. This pretty much always gets her
removed from the bedroom with the door closed. So she doesn't do it very
often any more.)

I would suggest you talk to your gf about this if you haven't already.
Ask her how she feels about keeping him out of the bedroom at night. She
might surprise you. And if she doesn't want to do that, you're no worse
off than you are now. But I think you're entitled to expect *some* kind
of support from her, at least in terms of putting your heads together to
figure out what can be done.

How long has he been acting like this? Since you first started dating?
How long has that been? Just wondering if this is part of a phase where
he is just getting used to you, or if it's been going on a long time.

Joyce

Another important question: do you like cats? Have you ever had a cat
yourself? If you don't like cats, he might be able to sense this, even
if you try to hide it.

Joyce

As a cat urinating on your pillow would go over well with anyone.

Is it only the pillow? or your clothes or other personal items?

When was the cat's last vet visit?  I would say I am thinking UTI  but I am
bending towards  the stress of you being there is effecting kitty and he is
marking his territory. You may have to get feliway diffusers to stop the
markings

LOL!

Well, that's kind of what I was thinking. He might be territorial
about your girlfriend, or jealous of the attention she gives you.

Well, he pees on your pillow. I don't think you can read too much into
that, unfortunately.

Hope you all figure out how to have peaceful coexistence!

Joyce

Yes, you are right, you are in a love triangle. In the cat's eyes, he's the
dominant male. His territory has been invaded, and the invader is messing
with his property (your girlfriend).

With any male pissing contest (and I assure, this is what it is), you have
two choices, you can either choose to fight to be the dominant male, or you
can submit and be the beta male of the house.

May I humbly suggest that it is probably easier (and involves less cat
urine) for you to submit to your furry rival than to stage all out war. Cats
are exceedingly cunning, and not only will he piss on your pillow, he may
well sh.t or barf in your shoes.

Smell is a major factor for cats. The first thing you need to do is smell
more like his him (ie, he has is scent on you, therefore he owns you). Keep
some of your clothes at your GF's house. Launder them in whatever it is that
she uses to launder her stuff, and hten leave them there. When you go over
to your GF's, shower, and change into the clothes that have been left there.
You now smell more like the cat and the cat's regular territory.

Get a couple of socks (or a thick leather glove) on your hand and
rough-house (gently) with the cat. Let him kill your hand over and over (ie,
hegets a good grip around hte 'neck' and holds the hand down in the
submissive position. Once he's got you down, stay down till *he* stops the
fight, not you)

Pet the cat frequently, particularly around the scent glands (ie,the
cheeks). Rub this smell all over you.

Don't 'mess' with the girlfriend if the cat is sitting on her. Thats taking
away his property. If she wants to mess around, she's the one who has to get
the cat off her lap and then go do somethng else before coming over to you,
so the cat doesn't think he's being turfed off the lap for you (although he
is, of course).

Croon and otherwise talk to the cat in a higher voice than your usual voice.
Cats for some reason like higher pitched sounds, if you've ever heard a
tomcat yowl for a mate, you'll understand why. A higher pitched voice is
less of a territorial threat.

And mot of all, both you and your girlfriend should interact with the cat
*at the same time*. The cat has to feel included and welcome, and not being
'pushed out' of you girlfriend's life, by you, the intruder. Go over t the
GF's hosue whlst she's not there and love on the kitty. Three tricks: the
slow blink ( blink veeery slowly at the cat), the yawn (after several slow
blinks, give him a gigantic big yawn or two) and if he allows you to, get on
the floor and try and allow the cat to touch you on the nose. Thats the
'cat' way of saying 'hello, friend' and then you should be ok. Be submissive
,quiet, high pitched, and slow-moving around the catl - use lots of "sss"
sounds like "puss puss" . Oh, and don't stomp around, walk lightly. Cats
hate stompers, and most men stomp in my observation. (I don't know why, but
I know cats find it threatening)

Oh, and feed the cat. Only you feed the cat whilst you are there, not the
GF. A cat's affections can be bribed :-)

Good luck,

Yowie

On Nov 27, 12:03 am, harrysandb...@gmail.com wrote:

Sacrifices have to be made in a relationship.  The cat is not going
anywhere  that is a fact  but close the door to the bedroom.  It will
save a lot of hassle and sleep loss.  Hopefully she will understand.
I did when my better half asked me to

Jack and Jill

Jill being the poster  Jack being what is supposed to be a cat