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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / December 2007OT: My boss Daniel...
...gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not some cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, twenty full pounds of fowl weaponry sitting in my freezer. Liz, meet turkey; the late Thomas, meet Liz. I have no idea what to do with this damned bird! I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. Hell, my idea of making chicken is making the trip to the store to pull its spinning carcass off the rotisserie. No, I confess to a guilty secret: I am a lifelong holiday mooch. As a kid my family traded off every other year with neighbors until my mother got sick and then we went off, my brother and I to our respective friends and my father to his mistress. We go to Louie's parents for Thanksgiving and Christmas because there are too many of them to fit in our tiny house; because it pleases my mother in law to measure out how much I eat and give me a carb-and-fat play-by-play that makes Monday Night Football look like a high school chess match; and because Louie's siblings all pi$$ and moan about how there's nuthin' like Mama's home cookin'. So the turkey is to be the guest of honor at our monthly science fiction and eating party the Sunday after Thanksgiving, which means someone has to roast this fearsome mound of flesh. Our host Dennis does not have a real working oven; he relies on the nuke, crock-pots and this weird fan-blasted hot air gadget that sits on the table to do his bachelor cooking. So it's up to us to turn twenty pounds of naked bird flesh into something you can eat without risk of salmonella. I wonder if you can do a turkey like i've heard people do with h*m (Roxie's in here and I don't want that H word getting through her radar) and roast it with ginger ale. Cooks! Experienced turkey wranglers, help me! I have no idea what I'm doing!!! At least help me keep it sanitary if nothing else... Blessed be, Baha > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not > some [quoted text clipped - 44 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Here is a couple Ideas for you Baha One you can de bone the turkey makes it easier to store and to cook. You can even deep fry the turkey if you want a something different. Do you own a BQ outdoor grill. I got a recipe for that. If you had a smaller bird I could tell you how to microwave it You can even go buy a duck and a chicken and make turducken for a very unique taste. Here are a couple recipes for the whole turkey THIS IS A BASIC REICPE FOR THE FIRST TIMERS This basic recipe is perfect for a first-timer. Over time, you can try variations using stuffings, various herbs or spices rubbed on with the salt and pepper, or butter mixtures placed under the skin. Basic Roast Turkey 12 - 20 pounds whole turkey 1/4 cup olive oil 1/8 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper Preheat oven to 450°F Wash and dry turkey inside and out. Rub turkey lightly with olive oil, salt and pepper . Cut a long length of aluminum foil, enough to wrap loosely around the turkey. Lay it across the bottom of your roasting pan with edges overlapping the sides of the pan. Place a rack on top of the foil and set the turkey breast-side up on the rack. Bring ends of foil up around turkey and crimp together along top of turkey. Foil should be loosely wrapped around turkey and crimped together at ends. Put turkey in oven and roast for 15 minutes. Turn heat down to 375°F and cook until done. Use following chart to gauge time: 8-10 pounds: 2-2/12 hours; 10-14 pounds: 2 1/2-3 hours; 14-20 pounds: 3 1/2-4 hour. During roasting, the bird should be basted occasionally and turned 3 times, that is, rolled onto all of its sides. Open foil to do this and turn turkey first on one side, then on another, then upside down. Finally, turn it right side up and remove foil for final browning. The turkey is done when you stick a fork, knife, or skewer in and clear juice (as opposed to pink) runs out. A meat thermometer inserted into the part of the bird without touching the bone will read 180°F. Do not overcook. Remove turkey from oven and let sit 15-30 minutes before serving so that juices will be reabsorbed by the flesh. Carve the turkey and transfer to a serving tray. Makes 16 servings. Another one for you Cranberry-Orange Stuffed Turkey Stuffing Ingredients: 3 cups fresh or frozen cranberries 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 1/2 cups orange juice 9 cups dried bread cubes 1 cup butter or margarine, melted 6 ribs (3 cups) celery, sliced 1/2-inch 2 medium (1 cup) onions, chopped 2 teaspoons salt 1/2 teaspoon pepper 1/4 teaspoon allspice Turkey Ingredients: 1 (18 to 22-pound) fresh or frozen turkey, thawed Sauce Ingredients: 1/2 cup orange juice 2 (10-ounce) packages frozen cranberry-orange sauce Stir together cranberries, sugar and 1 1/2 cups orange juice in 3-quart saucepan. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until cranberries pop and sugar dissolves (9 to 11 minutes); cool 15 minutes. Meanwhile, stir together all remaining stuffing ingredients in large bowl. Stir in cranberry mixture. Heat oven to 325°F. Stuff turkey with stuffing. Place turkey on rack in roasting pan. Bake as directed on turkey package or approximately 5 to 6 hours. (Meat thermometer should read 180°F in thigh.) Meanwhile, stir together sauce ingredients in 2-quart saucepan. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until melted (2 to 3 minutes). Baste turkey with sauce during last 30 minutes of baking time. Loosely cover turkey with aluminum foil if browning too quickly. Heat remaining sauce; serve over turkey. Makes 18 servings. A recipe for stuffing dressing Easy Crockpot Cornbread Dressing INGREDIENTS: 4 tablespoons butter 8 ounces ground pork sausage 1 cup chopped onion 1 cup chopped celery 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley or 2 teaspoons dried parsley flakes 1 package (16 ounces) seasoned cornbread dressing crumbs 1 teaspoon poultry seasoning 1/2 teaspoon rubbed sage, optional 2 1/2 cups chicken broth 1/2 cup dried cranberries or raisins PREPARATION: Butter a slow cooker or spray with nonstick baking spray. In a large skillet melt butter and add sausage, cooking and breaking up, until sausage is lightly browned. Add onion and celery and continue cooking until vegetables are tender. Add parsley poultry seasoning, and sage, if using. In a large bowl, combine the sausage and vegetable mixture with the crumbs. Stir until blended; add chicken broth. Add salt and pepper to taste and blend well. Blend in the lightly beaten egg and stir in the cranberries or raisins. Spoon into the prepared slow cooker; do not pack. Cover and cook on HIGH for 45 minutes. Reduce heat to LOW and cook for 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours longer. Serves 8. >> ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not >> some [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Here is a couple Ideas for you Baha (snip obscenely delicious ideas.) Thanks heaps! this sounds workable, and mighty tasty. I don't have a grill, nor a fryer, and too bad; I've heard deep-fried turkey is really good and juicy, done right. As for a grill, i'd need an industrial model for this big boy. It's a positively HUGE hunk of poultry. I got my exercise shlepping him around after work. My back is sore! But your recipe sounds nice and easy, and the trimmings have me salivating. Blessed be, Baha >>> ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not >>> some [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am not going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me mom and the cats. So I am doing tapas this year whole bunch of different ones enough to graze and snack all day >If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am not >going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me mom and the >cats. So I am doing tapas this year whole bunch of different ones enough to >graze and snack all day Now that's a devil of an idea! I wish it would catch on so that oven-phobes like me can throw a party without the stress I'm having over poultry right now. The BTC monthly parties are a lot like taht anyway. Dennis puts on the first spread and it's mainly finger foods, a massive cheese tray, a crock of soup and such; the second one is a full dinner with multiple options. this month's meeting will be a mix of traditional and anything you can pick up without silverware. part of why we want to face up to that bird the boss gave me is that we just learned Dennis' family, for unknown erasons, has un-invited him to holiday gatherings. Why this would happen is beyond me. he is a mild mannered, intelligent fellow who never harmed anyone. i think they just disapprove of his bachelorhood. Blessed be, Baha >>If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am not >>going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me mom and the [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Cooking is easy as long as you got time and ideas. Rule one never overload yourself or your kitchen Everyone read over the last couple years what I did for holidays. I think my biggest bash was memorial day seafood bake over 400 lbs of food cooked. Took me almost a week to do it all myself. NEVER AGAIN This Christmas I am going to buy a pre baked meal and warm it up. I may even go out and enjoy some of the local restaurants. Let them do the cleaning but I will do my breakfast that I do every year. >>> If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am >>> not going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > may even go out and enjoy some of the local restaurants. Let them do > the cleaning but I will do my breakfast that I do every year. This reminds me of a funny (and very true) story that happened to my mom. This was back in either the late 1970's or early 1980's. Kroger was advertising ("Let Kroger do the cooking!") a complete Thanksgiving meal in a box. Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and a pie. Mom decided she was fed up cooking a bunch of food so she called and ordered this meal in a box. Now's the point where we find out those ads were not only deceptive, they downright lied. Mom, my brother and I went to pick up the box of food. It was about 3PM on Thanksgiving day. Scott was carrying it out to the car when suddenly he said, "Mom, this box is freezing." So we opened it up. Oh yes, it contained everything as promised - and it was all frozen solid! The turkey hadn't been cooked, it was just a frozen uncooked turkey. Mom was *furious*! She is not one to lambast people. She's very mild mannered. But we marched back into the store with that box and she marched up to the manager and let him have it! Returned the box. Then we went to another store and picked out some nice steaks and baking potatoes. And that's what we had for Thanksgiving dinner that year. Jill >>>>If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am >>>>not going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > another store and picked out some nice steaks and baking potatoes. And > that's what we had for Thanksgiving dinner that year. Gee, that sounds like "false advertising" to me! I've encountered any number of markets, here and in California, whose deli-departments have similar ads at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but they all specify the meal is COOKED! (That's why it costs so much more than the raw ingredients.) Krogers there is "Frys" in Arizona - just for information, maybe I should check whether the dinner they offer is cooked or do-it-yourself. (Fortunately, I'm invited out for dinner, so don't need to worry, this year.) what is the breakfast menu, Lee > >>If you want any more recipes or ideas what to serve just ask. I am not > >>going to cook for a large group this year since it is only me mom and the [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > even go out and enjoy some of the local restaurants. Let them do the > cleaning but I will do my breakfast that I do every year. > what is the breakfast menu, Lee Everything is hand prepared or made Baked eggs Breakfast breads cranberry and apricot stollens smoked honey ham cheese plate Raspberry almond torte cake Butter milk pancakes Honey sausage Blue berry muffins Smoked honey bacon Baklava pastry Apple crisp raisin maple syrup stuffed bread Lemon honey crème bread I am even making Spanish bar cake that you used to get from the A & P grocery stores I just gained 10 lbs from this menu >> what is the breakfast menu, Lee > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > I just gained 10 lbs from this menu LOL Sounds wonderful! Fortunately (or not) I won't have to deal with a breakfast menu. I'll probably just toast an english muffin, maybe scramble a couple of eggs for myself in the morning. I won't be going to Scott's house until the afternoon. If I were going to have a breakfast menu (brunch, any time of year, not just holidays) I'd include a frittata. There's a nice looking recipe for a frittata with proscuitto and gruyere (serves 12) in the December issue of Food & Wine. Jill >>> what is the breakfast menu, Lee >> [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > > Jill that is almost close to a breakfast bread >>>> what is the breakfast menu, Lee >>> [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] >> > that is almost close to a breakfast bread Except it's made with potatoes and is savoury, not sweet. (I am not a "sweets" person.) Potato Frittata with Prosciutto and Gruyere 1 dozen large eggs 2 tablespoons water Salt and freshly ground pepper 1 packed cup shredded Gruyère 4 ounces prosciutto, sliced 1/4 inch thick and cut into 1/4-inch dice 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 1 pound Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch dice 2 scallions, thinly sliced Preheat oven to 375F. In a bowl, beat the eggs with the water and season with 3/4 ts. salt and 1/2 tsp. pepper. Beat in the gruyere and prosciutto. Heat the olive oil in a large, nonstick ovenproof skillet. Add the potatoes and cook over moderately high heat, stirring occasionally, until tender and golden brown, about 7 minutes. Add the scallions and cook for 1 minute. Stir the egg mixture and add to the skillet. Stir to distribute the potatoes. Cook until the bottom is just set, about 3 minutes; lift the frittata to allow the uncooked eggs to seep underneath. Bake the frittata for about 10 minutes, until nearly set in the center. Preheat the broiler. Broil the frittata 8 inches from the heat for 1 minute, until the top is just beginning to brown. Cut the frittata into wedges and serve hot or at room temperature. Serves 10 (not 12 as I originally remembered) Jill >>>>> what is the breakfast menu, Lee >>>> [quoted text clipped - 72 lines] > > Jill I am heading to the grocery store ;-) >>>>>what is the breakfast menu, Lee >>>> [quoted text clipped - 67 lines] > > Jill Darn it, that sounds good. I'm almost tempted to try it. A hopeless cook question - if I just left out the prosciutto would it still work ? >>>>>> what is the breakfast menu, Lee >>>>> [quoted text clipped - 71 lines] > cook question - if I just left out the prosciutto would it still work > ? I'm thinking it would, Helen. If you want a veggie option you could always add something else instead. Maybe some smoked tofu, soy snags cut up, or even some walnuts or pine nuts. I make a nice veggie frittata actually. 1/2 large sweet potato, about the same amount of regular potato and about the same amount of pumpkin or squash. Peel and cut into 1.5 cm cubes. Toss with olive oil, pepper and rosemary and bake in oven until softened. Put in big bowl and mix in 2 eggs, 300ml sour cream, 2 tblsp brown sugar and about a cup of grated cheese (usually I use aged cheddar and a bit of parmesan as well). Pour the mixture into a muffin tray and bake again for about 20 min. Yum!  SignatureBritta Purring is an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow. Check out pictures of Vino at: http://picasaweb.google.com/badwilson >> Potato Frittata with Prosciutto and Gruyere >> [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > cook question - if I just left out the prosciutto would it still work > ? I don't see why not. It's a very small amount of prosciutto, really just for flavour. Jill Matthew wrote: > Everything is hand prepared or made > [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > I just gained 10 lbs from this menu Whew!! I was thinking that I could feel my arteries hardening as I read the list. :) It sounds wonderful, wish I still had a big enough appetite to eat all that! I remember there being a long thread about Spanish bar cake on this ng, a few years ago. Several recipes were posted at the time. Joyce > Matthew wrote: > > [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Joyce Spanish Bar cake Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 9 x 13-inch pan. Dry ingredients 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ginger 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon grated nutmeg Sift the above ingredients together and set aside. Other ingredients 1 cup plump raisins (soak the raisins in warm water to plump them up while mixing the other ingredients-drain before adding to batter) 1/2 cup rough cut toasted walnuts 1/4 cup solid shortening 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar 2 large eggs, beaten 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 1 cup chunky applesauce 1/2 cup butter Cream the butter, shortening together, add eggs and beat well. Turn mixer on low speed and add vanilla extract and applesauce. Add raisins and walnuts-keeping the mixer at low speed start adding the dry ingredients. DO NOT over-mix. Just make sure the flour is all in, then stop mixing. Pour into the pan and bake in the middle of the oven for 45 minutes or until the center tests done. Cream Cheese Frosting 2 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/3 cup milk 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 8 ounces cream cheese softened 4 tablespoons butter 2 teaspoons vanilla extract Beat well, adding more milk or confectioners' sugar to make it smooth and easy to spread. This makes one 9 x 13-inch cake. It can be cut into bars by running a fork lengthwise across the icing to make it like the A & P Spanish Bar Cakes. OOOHHHH can feel the pounds going on, aw heck, whats a few more. This sounds wonderful. Will try it the next time I go somwhere and have to take food. With just me and the three cats, I would, eventually eat it all! Before Scooter went to the bridge, I could share this with her, that dog would eat anything. >> Matthew wrote: >> > [quoted text clipped - 76 lines] > This makes one 9 x 13-inch cake. It can be cut into bars by running a fork > lengthwise across the icing to make it like the A & P Spanish Bar Cakes. > Matthew wrote: > > [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] > > Joyce I am doing this so we all can graze from early morning till dinner. while I am not currently single I have to ask for future reference, are you married? Lee, who has a DH who cooks,... its required for the job > > what is the breakfast menu, Lee > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > I just gained 10 lbs from this menu <BIG SMILE> Divorced twice This Christmas will be one year divorced from the second. Best Christmas gift I ever got. I love to cook. It is something about having a group of people smile and their face light up when they taste your cooking > while I am not currently single I have to ask for future reference, are > you [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >> >> I just gained 10 lbs from this menu I will file this, I only cook when DH is exhausted or needs to be punished for a bad deed, Lee big smile also,... > <BIG SMILE> Divorced twice > This Christmas will be one year divorced from the second. Best Christmas [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > >> > >> I just gained 10 lbs from this menu > <BIG SMILE> Divorced twice > This Christmas will be one year divorced from the second. Best Christmas > gift I ever got. > > I love to cook. It is something about having a group of people smile and > their face light up when they taste your cooking I think we have a lot of both extremes of the cooking scale. I love to cook and am considered a good country cook. I save so many recipes from this group that I have a folder for it in my email files. There is also a large representation of the other extreme, those who love to eat, but don't do the cookin. I love these people. They give me a reason to pull out the cook books and dig up a favorite or to try out a new recipe. Pam S. > > what is the breakfast menu, Lee > [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] > > I just gained 10 lbs from this menu > Baked eggs Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a new one on me? Sounds damned delicious though Sheelagh >"o"< >Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a >new one on me? I've never heard of mashed eggs Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs >>Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >>We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Lesley Its potatoes and eggs POTATO AND EGG BAKE 1/2 teaspoon butter 1 1/2 cups mashed potatoes 4 eggs 2 tablespoons grated Velveeta Cheese 1 teaspoon paprika 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/8 teaspoon pepper 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder Preheat even to 400°F. Prepare mashed potatoes as you normally would. Butter a 9 inch casserole or baking pan. Spread hot mashed potatoes evenly in the pan and make 4 indentations. Break an egg into each well. Sprinkle Velveeta over the potatoes and eggs. Season with salt, pepper and garlic powder. Top with a sprinkling of paprika. Bake in oven for 10 minutes until the eggs have set and the cheese is melted. >>> Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >>> We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > Bake in oven for 10 minutes until the eggs have set and the cheese is > melted. I'd use a nice sharp grated cheddar rather than Velveeta (and no, I'm not a food snob - I use Velveeta in my macaroni & cheese). Jill >>>> Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >>>> We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Jill < evil laugh and smile > >>>> Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >>>> We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > > Jill Sometimes I start to feel like a food snob, but mac and cheese brings me back every time. When I was growing up we added cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta cheese to cooked macaroni and baked it till the top started to brown. That's still what I make. Maybe some buttered breadcrumbs on top or a bit of cheddar. I've tried the fancy recipes, but that is still the one my family loves. Jo > Sometimes I start to feel like a food snob, but mac and cheese brings me > back every time. > When I was growing up we added cream of mushroom soup and Velveeta cheese to > cooked macaroni and baked it till the top started to brown. That's still > what I make. Maybe some buttered breadcrumbs on top or a bit of cheddar. > I've tried the fancy recipes, but that is still the one my family loves. LOL, one of my workmates was just telling me about her mac'n'cheese, and she uses velveeta, too. I love cheddar cheese, it's my favorite cheese, but the truth is, the consistency isn't the best for mac'n'cheese - it doesn't melt all over the place like American cheese does, or Velveeta. I guess you could use Velveeta for consistency, and then add some cheddar (or whatever your favorite cheese is) for flavor, if the Velveeta is too bland. I'm definitely not a food snob, at least not in terms of social class (eg, "velveeta is for lower class people" - who cares?). I'm a bit of a neurotic about health issues, though, and since I love mac'n'cheese - it's the ultimate comfort food to me - I try to make it at least somewhat healthy, with whole wheat noodles (yes, they taste good! :)) and a decent cheese. But it just doesn't turn out that great when you use a cheese that doesn't really melt like Velveeta. It must be a physics thing. :) Joyce > >>>> Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? > >>>> We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg [quoted text clipped - 43 lines] > > - Show quoted text - A Top Chef 2 contestant made Mac & Cheese with truffles in it. He won that round. Suz&Spicey > >Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? > >We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > -- > Message posted viahttp://www.catkb.com LoL, forgive the wrong turn of phrase, I meant to say scrambled eggs really. Sheelagh>"o"< >> >Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? >> >We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > really. > Sheelagh>"o"< Sheelagh there is something called mashed eggs it is potatoes and eggs > "Stormmee" <rgr...@consolidated.net> wrote in message > [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] > > I just gained 10 lbs from this menu > Baked eggs Forgive the ignorant Matthew- What is a baked egg? We have boiled, mashed, poached, scrambled, omelet, but baked egg is a new one on me? Sounds damned delicious though Sheelagh >"o"< Sheelagh Baked eggs Hard boil the eggs and cut into slices. Put a layer of eggs in a baking-dish well buttered, then add bread-crumbs with pieces of butter throughout. Season with salt and pepper and cover the top with crumbs and grated cheese and bake a rich brown I add ham and shredded cheese, onions and chives to it I also use this one to BAKED SAUSAGE, CHEESE, AND EGG CASSEROLE 1 doz. eggs 12 tbsp. water 1/3 c. low fat milk 1 lb. bulk sausage meat 6 oz. grated, sharp Cheddar cheese Spray Pyrex oblong pan with Pam. Brown sausage in fry pan. Break sausage up into small pieces. Drain sausage of all fat. Spread sausage in bottom of pan. Beat eggs in large bowl. Add water and milk. Grate cheese and put over sausage. Pour eggs over cheese and sausage. Bake at 350 degrees for 1/2 hour Done when eggs are firmly set >>> ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And >>> not some [quoted text clipped - 10 lines] > I don't have a grill, nor a fryer, and too bad; I've heard deep-fried > turkey is really good and juicy, done right. And also downright dangerous if you don't know how to do it, or do it in the wrong setting (like on a wooden deck or, heaven forbid, inside a garage!). See my post about roasting a turkey. It seems like a lot of work but really, nothing could be more simple. Jill > I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. Hey, I'm considerably older than you are, and neither have I. I don't care about it, either, becuase there's always someone around who wants to cook one, and I make some pretty good side dishes. For the past several years, I've had Thanksgiving at a friend's house, and one of the guys cooks the turkey. I always bring at least 3 side dishes, and sometimes more. So I don't feel like a slouch! You shouldn't, either. > So the turkey is to > be the guest of honor at our monthly science fiction and eating party the [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > pounds of naked bird flesh into something you can eat without risk of > salmonella. Why not invite Dennis over to cook the turkey in your kitchen? His turkey expertise, with your equipment, sounds like winning combination. Hope you enjoy it, whatever you decide to do! Joyce I always bring at least 3 side dishes, and >sometimes more. So I don't feel like a slouch! You shouldn't, either. We'll end up doing some stovetop stuffing and a nice green vegetable on top of Roast Beast. >Why not invite Dennis over to cook the turkey in your kitchen? His >turkey expertise, with your equipment, sounds like winning combination. What turkey expertise? he's as much in the dark as we are! but he'll be very good a doing the side stuff; for a man who has next to no equipment, he puts out two big meals during the several-hours-long eating frenzy known as the Buffalo Time Council (started as a Doctor Who club.) >Hope you enjoy it, whatever you decide to do! thanks...I'll enjoy no one measuring my waistline while I'm eating. Blessed be, Baha > I always bring at least 3 side dishes, and >>sometimes more. So I don't feel like a slouch! You shouldn't, either. [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Baha I posted above several recipes. If you have any troubles or worry about something just ask. Between me an Jill plus a few others we will have you competing on a TV reality cooking show in no time. If you need other recipes just ask I have tons of them. I have them and they're saved, with many thanks! Do you htink the roasting in ginger-ale thing would work the way it does with H*m? Blessed be, Baha >Baha I posted above several recipes. If you have any troubles or worry >about something just ask. Between me an Jill plus a few others we will have >you competing on a TV reality cooking show in no time. Iron Liz??? >If you need other recipes just ask I have tons of them. Depends I use coke for my hams I rather it bast and cook in its own juices >I have them and they're saved, with many thanks! Do you htink the roasting >in [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >> >>If you need other recipes just ask I have tons of them. Plus you will not be able to use the juice to make your gravy with out it coming out tasting funny > Depends I use coke for my hams > I rather it bast and cook in its own juices [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] >>> >>>If you need other recipes just ask I have tons of them. > Plus you will not be able to use the juice to make your gravy with > out it coming out tasting funny LOL somehow I don't think she's planning to make gravy. I would, of course. But since there seems to be a fear of ovens I'm not going to attempt a description of how to make a smooth thick gravy from pan drippings :) You can buy jarred turkey gravy for the mashed taters and dressing. Jill >> Depends I use coke for my hams >> I rather it bast and cook in its own juices [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] >>> Message posted via CatKB.com >>> http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200711/1 >> Plus you will not be able to use the juice to make your gravy with >> out it coming out tasting funny [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Jill THAT IS THANKSGIVING ANARCHY ;-) >>> Depends I use coke for my hams >>> I rather it bast and cook in its own juices [quoted text clipped - 18 lines] >>>> Message posted via CatKB.com >>>> http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200711/1 >> Why not invite Dennis over to cook the turkey in your kitchen? His >> turkey expertise, with your equipment, sounds like winning combination. > What turkey expertise? he's as much in the dark as we are! but he'll > be very good a doing the side stuff Oops, I misunderstood. I thought you were saying that Dennis would cook the turkey, except that he didn't have a decent oven. Never mind! :) (Said in Emily Latella voice.) > thanks...I'll enjoy no one measuring my waistline while I'm eating. Ewww, nobody would enjoy that! How rude can you get? Maybe you could "measure" (out loud, as she does) her rude comments every time she says something about the number of calories or carbs or whatever you are eating. Why should you have to just sit and take it? Hand it right back to her: MIL: "That plate of food must have 100 grams of carbs in it! You're going to get too fat for your dress!" You: "That's rude comment number 1." MIL: "Don't you realize how much fat there is that gravy??" You: "Rude comment number 2." Etc., etc., until she finally gets the not-so-subtle hint! Well, I enjoyed fantasizing about that, anyway. :) Hope you have more fun than that! Joyce we share a theme for fantasy's if not the actual enactment, Lee > >> Why not invite Dennis over to cook the turkey in your kitchen? His > >> turkey expertise, with your equipment, sounds like winning combination. [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > Hope you have more fun than that! > Joyce "Baha via CatKB.com" <u18616@uwe> Do you have satellite or cable . All this week food network is doing nothing but turkey. I am watching bobby flay throw down and they are doing turkey >"Baha via CatKB.com" <u18616@uwe> > >Do you have satellite or cable . All this week food network is doing >nothing but turkey. I am watching bobby flay throw down and they are doing >turkey I do have cable, and a husband watching the #@$*! football game! I was going to check the Food network scheduling to see when we might synchronize the vCR; we have weird work schedules and i'm glad we can take our time grappling with this mass of protein on the weekend. 3 am eastern time on food network a show called challenge they are cooking turkey I watched it earlier a guy on there de bones the turkey and cooks with a cheese cloth and it comes out juicy >>"Baha via CatKB.com" <u18616@uwe> >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > grappling > with this mass of protein on the weekend. >>"Baha via CatKB.com" <u18616@uwe> >> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > vCR; we have weird work schedules and i'm glad we can take our time grappling > with this mass of protein on the weekend. This is sort of a way of copping out, but you apparently have a large circle of friends - why don't you suggest a lrge get-together, offer to supply the turkey, but ask if someone else with more expreience will cook it? (Twenty pounds of turkey is quite a lot, so unless you envision freezing the leftovers and living on them for the next year or so, it might solve the cooking problem and endear you to your friends, at the same time.) >>> "Baha via CatKB.com" <u18616@uwe> >>> [quoted text clipped - 15 lines] > or so, it might solve the cooking problem and endear you to > your friends, at the same time.) I think she said they are going to a friends' house for dinner but he doesn't have an oven that would handle this big bird. So they're cooking the turkey at home and taking it with them. Jill > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not some > cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, twenty [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] > > -- Heh. I remember the first time I was presented with a huge Thanksgiving bird by an employer. Get a cooking bag. The instructions are on the bag, and it's pretty well idiot-proof. Enjoy! Mine always turn out very moist, and I enjoy the leftover sandwiches even more than the first meal. Sherry >> ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And >> not some cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] >> >> I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. (snippety) >> Cooks! Experienced turkey wranglers, help me! I have no idea what >> I'm doing!!! At least help me keep it sanitary if nothing else... [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > turn out very moist, and I enjoy the leftover sandwiches even more > than the first meal. Do they make them big enough for a 20 lb bird? I've never used an oven "roasting" bag so I don't know what sizes they come in. I've posted complete instructions separately. Jill > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not > some cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, [quoted text clipped - 30 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha I had this happen to me a few times. What I did was give the turkey to someone else who liked to cook. Problem solved. MLB > I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. > > I wonder if you can do a turkey like i've heard people do with h*m > (Roxie's in here and I don't want that H word getting through her > radar) and roast it with ginger ale. NO!!!!! Don't even think about it! > Cooks! Experienced turkey wranglers, help me! I have no idea what I'm > doing!!! At least help me keep it sanitary if nothing else... Turkey is simple. (1) Buy a meat thermometer. Doesn't have to be a fancy electronic instant-read thermometer. Just a plain every day glass meat thermometer. It will have a little metal "chart" attached to it showing the various temperatures with different types of meat listed as a guide. ALSO buy a turkey baster. (2) Remove the giblet bag from the turkey cavity!!!! (3) Wash the turkey inside and out and pat it dry. (4) Place the turkey in a deep roasting pan. You can use one of those disposable foil jobbers; look for one about 4 inches deep. Oh, you'll want some sort of a "rack" to keep the turkey from stewing in it's own juices. (5) Brush the turkey with melted butter. Lightly season the turkey (inside and out) with a little salt & pepper. Buy some "poultry seasoning" and sprinkle some of that on the bird as well. Some folks put a lemon or two in the cavity. (6) Preheat the oven to 325F. Insert the thermometer in the meaty part of the thigh or breast being careful it doesn't hit bone. (7) For a 20 pounder, you want to roast this bird 6 to 6/1/2 hours or until the temp. reads at *least* 180 degrees (the temp will continue to rise after roasting). Baste the turkey occasionally during this process with the pan drippings. (8) Remove the turkey from the oven. Cover with a tent of foil and let it stand at least 10 minutes before carefully placing it on a platter (you may need some help getting that sucker out of the roasting pan in one piece!). IF you put a couple of lemons in the cavity, remove them now. The bird is now ready to take to the table and carve! Jill >> I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. >> [quoted text clipped - 51 lines] > > Jill I can only add two or three things. Make sure you get both the neck and the giblets out of the bird after its thawed. Usually the liver and gizzards are in a paper bag inside the neck cavity and the neck is inside the body cavity. I've got in the habit of buying two foil roasting pans and using them together. Its more stable and the second pan can easily be washed and used for a ham or something later. I put a cut of apple, a cut up onion, and some seasoning inside the bird before I cook it. In your case I'd just leave the bird in the foil pans, and cover it in foil to take it to your friends. Let them carve it in the kitchen. Jo >>> I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. >>> [quoted text clipped - 57 lines] > and gizzards are in a paper bag inside the neck cavity and the neck > is inside the body cavity. Good point. Yes, the neck is just sort of stuck in there. It's been a few years since I roasted a turkey since it's not something I love. The same methodology applies to roasting a whole chicken. > I've got in the habit of buying two foil roasting pans and using them > together. Its more stable and the second pan can easily be washed > and used for a ham or something later. Great idea. Yes, a 20 lb. bird is going to be heavy. Double foil pans would be the best plan. > I put a cut of apple, a cut up onion, and some seasoning inside the > bird before I cook it. Also great suggestions. I season the cavity with salt & pepper > In your case I'd just leave the bird in the foil pans, and cover it > in foil to take it to your friends. Let them carve it in the kitchen. Yep! I have the image of the bird being carved at the table but it certainly doesn't have to be. It's just a throwback to my childhood :) Jill >> I am 41 years old and have never in my life made a turkey. >> [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] >> >Turkey is simple. Even better: Google for "Dave Cooks The Turkey" by Canada's Stuart McLean. Download the mp3, buy a Vinyl Café book with the story, borrow a friend's book with the story. Just get it, and prepare to laugh your guts out. After reading how Dave cooked the Christmas turkey, you will never worry about your own turkey cooking again! :D Signatureannoyed@net.spammers Craig, Kathi & "Cat Five" the tabby girl "One way that you can tell that 'Mythbusters' has been in the area is to look for shrapnel in the trees." - Jamie Hyneman > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not some > cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, twenty > full pounds of fowl weaponry sitting in my freezer. Argh! Reminds me of the following scenario which was a feature of way too many Xmas for me 1. Dad had a friend who reared free range turkeys 2. Each Xmas dad would recieve a free range turkey 3. Some of these would weigh 30 pounds plus 4. Dad only ate turkey on Xmas Day and Boxing day because it was traditional 5. Jim had married and they only came round for Xmas dinner 6. Ron had sensbly turned vegan 7. Mum believed in waste not want not 8. Lesley didn't have an excuse not to eat turkey leftovers after Boxing day 9. Lesley ate turkey sandwiches, pies, risotto, burgers, cold, curried, braised etc you name it I ate it (I think sometimes with custard for afters) until about March Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not some > cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, twenty > full pounds of fowl weaponry sitting in my freezer. Liz, meet turkey; the > late Thomas, meet Liz. I have no idea what to do with this damned bird! You don't need to roast it. Joint it and cook the bits in several different ways - grilled steaks, curry, soup, whatever. ============== j-c ====== @ ====== purr . demon . co . uk ============== Jack Campin: 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland | tel 0131 660 4760 <http://www.purr.demon.co.uk/jack/> for CD-ROMs and free | fax 0870 0554 975 stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, & Mac logic fonts | mob 07800 739 557 > ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not some > cheap, flimsy, scrawny, anemic reject. Oh no. It is a mighty turkey, twenty [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Remember to let the turkey thaw out ahead of time. I recommend two to three days thawing time, in the refrigerator. My Betty Crocker cookbook gives the recommended roasting time for a 20-pound bird as 4 1/2 to 5 hours, at 325 degrees Fahrenheit. If you put the stuffing inside the bird (not particularly recommended for a bird this size), add another 15 to 45 minutes cooking time. Uncover the bird for the last 30 to 45 minutes of cooking, so that the skin will become crisp. When the turkey is fully cooked, a meat thermometer thrust into the thigh should read 180 degrees Fahrenheit. A thermometer thrust into the center of the stuffing, if present, should read at least 165 degrees Fahrenheit. Remove the turkey from the oven and let it stand 15 minutes before carving. The key thing to remember when cooking any large roast of meat is to use relatively low heat for a long period of time. This will give the interior of the meat time to cook without making the outside of the meat overly dry. A company I used to work for gave us country hams for Christmas for several years. My cooking technique, admittedly nonstandard, involved simmering the ham in two changes of water for about an hour before baking it. This reduced the salt and made the ham much more tender than it would have been had I baked it as-is. I have had country ham in restaurants that was so dry, it was like trying to eat a shingle. SignatureJohn F. Eldredge -- john@jfeldredge.com PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu "Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria >> ..gave every member of his staff a turkey, even little ol' me. And not >> some [quoted text clipped - 31 lines] >> pounds of naked bird flesh into something you can eat without risk of >> salmonella. Hhhmmm Ever consider regifting the bird to your mother-in-law? >> I wonder if you can do a turkey like i've heard people do with h*m >> (Roxie's [quoted text clipped - 32 lines] > have been had I baked it as-is. I have had country ham in restaurants > that was so dry, it was like trying to eat a shingle. >Hhhmmm >Ever consider regifting the bird to your mother-in-law? Only if I can stuff her into the late Tom's business end... Ohh, I had one of those like that, mother-in-law I mean. You really shouldn't disrespect a Turkey that much!!!! Especially when it ended up bringing such fun and happiness to so many people!!! >>Hhhmmm >>Ever consider regifting the bird to your mother-in-law? > > Only if I can stuff her into the late Tom's business end... >Hhhmmm >Ever consider regifting the bird to your mother-in-law? i have given several dys' worth of reconsieration to this matter; the fact is, i have considered giving her the bird. Just not that particular species! Blessed be, Baha That kind of BIRD is one of the hardest things to explain to a blind person, it makes absolutely no sense when you do it verbally. I get it, I mean I understand it but back long time ago it sounded really weird. Now, the few times it was needed I could probably fly with the best of them! >>Hhhmmm >>Ever consider regifting the bird to your mother-in-law? [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha and let me tell you.... "f**K you is so much harder to hide from the MIL, when you can do "the bird" behind her back, Lee > That kind of BIRD is one of the hardest things to explain to a blind person, > it makes absolutely no sense when you do it verbally. I get it, I mean I [quoted text clipped - 14 lines] > > Message posted via CatKB.com > > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200712/1 hehehe yepper!!! If you are blind, just remember that people have those d**n mirrors and even with their back turned can see you. I gave Bob the bird only once, ever, and he said "I saw that" I began to wave all of my fingers and said "ok Bubal there is a whole flock of them" he was not amused!!! > and let me tell you.... "f**K you is so much harder to hide from the MIL, > when you can do "the bird" behind her back, Lee [quoted text clipped - 22 lines] >> > Message posted via CatKB.com >> > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200712/1 ROFLMAO > hehehe yepper!!! If you are blind, just remember that people have those > d**n mirrors and even with their back turned can see you. I gave Bob the [quoted text clipped - 27 lines] >>> > Message posted via CatKB.com >>> > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200712/1 >Remember to let the turkey thaw out ahead of time. I recommend two to >three days thawing time, in the refrigerator. My Betty Crocker cookbook >gives the recommended roasting time for a 20-pound bird as 4 1/2 to 5 >hours, at 325 degrees Fahrenheit. If you put the stuffing inside the bird >(not particularly recommended for a bird this size), I don't plan on stuffing Old ˇom, not with the usual dressing anyway. I'm of the Alton Brown school ("Good Eats": great show!) where, simply put, "Stuffing Is Evil!!!" We'll stuff the guest of honor with an apple and pear and herbs for flavor, but I've never liked in-the-bird stuffin. >A company I used to work for gave us country hams for Christmas for >several years. My cooking technique, admittedly nonstandard, involved >simmering the ham in two changes of water for about an hour before baking >it. This reduced the salt and made the ham much more tender than it would >have been had I baked it as-is. I have had country ham in restaurants >that was so dry, it was like trying to eat a shingle. before going to the Mutha-In-Law we went to one of my co-workers' place, and she made ham glazed with brown sugar, cinnamon and ginger that tasted like I was eating velvet, it was so tender, and whatever she did, it wasn't at all salty. And thanks for your tips! We begin the Tom Turkey Celebrity Roast Sunday morning. Blessed be, Baha
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