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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / November 2007Is this weird or is it me?
Hi all I have a friend who doesn't like cats.. I am prepared to regard this as a minor personality defect as long as the person would never be cruel to a cat and she wouldn't- she's just one of those people who was reared by d*g things and has never known the joy of cats I saw her the other day and she mentioned one of her d*g things. Bascially she lives in London and her d*g things are at her parents home- they are chiuahuas ( forgive the spelling) anyway she said she had popped home and the oldest one looked really cute? Cute I can understand (I have seen pictures and okay I am prepared to accrpt these are cute d*g things) but why does she suddenly look cute? She explains the d*g has had most of her lower jaw removed because she had cancer and "Now her tongue hangs out all the time and its really cute" Is it me or what? My first comment was "Can she eat?" and this person agreed she seems to be eating okay but she does look cute with her tongue hanging out I felt a bit sick- I could understand being relieved a loved pet survived major surgery and was eating but regarding the fact her tongie now hangs out as "cute" as if this was some sort of bonus! Is this just me or what? Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > Hi all > [quoted text clipped - 28 lines] > > Slave of the Fabulous Furballs Maybe this is about psychology. If your friend is a lot concerned about looks (her`s or her dog`s), this might show a subconscious insecurity, which is a problem she should work on. If this might be the case, no offense meant here, a lot of people hide their insecurities by keeping a meticulously pretty (perfect) appearance, she of course on the outside seems to bother only about the "looks" of her little sweetheart. So if the look is the only thing she seems to be interested after the surgery it means that she is happy that no one will give her negative comments which she might not be able to bear. Deep down, I believe, she most certainly is happy that her doggie feels ok and can lead a sort of normal life. I don`t know if I found the right words to explain my point. Hopefully you understand what I wanted to say. love Bettina > I saw her the other day and she mentioned one of her d*g things. > Bascially she lives in London and her d*g things are at her parents > home- they are chiuahuas ( forgive the spelling) anyway she said she > had popped home and the oldest one looked really cute? > Cute I can understand (I have seen pictures and okay I am prepared to > accrpt these are cute d*g things) but why does she suddenly look cute? > She explains the d*g has had most of her lower jaw removed because she > had cancer and "Now her tongue hangs out all the time and its really > cute" > Is it me or what? My first comment was "Can she eat?" and this person > agreed she seems to be eating okay but she does look cute with her > tongue hanging out > I felt a bit sick- I could understand being relieved a loved pet > survived major surgery and was eating but regarding the fact her > tongie now hangs out as "cute" as if this was some sort of bonus! Well, better she think it's cute than that deciding the dog is ugly and she doesn't like her anymore. Or that she's just horribly upset at her "disfigurement". Maybe she's just trying to see something positive about a terrible experience? Maybe it's just relief that her dog survived? It doesn't sound that bad to me... Joyce On 10 Nov, 13:25, jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: > Well, better she think it's cute than that deciding the dog is ugly > and she doesn't like her anymore. Or that she's just horribly upset at > her "disfigurement". Maybe she's just trying to see something positive > about a terrible experience? Maybe it's just relief that her dog > survived? Maybe but it just struck me as odd that she mentioned the dog looked "really more cute" before telling me about tjhe surgery If I'd had that done to one of the Furballs I'd be sobbing with relief that they'd made it through surgery and were eating before saying anyhting about the cuteness Then again I am an expert of reactions to trauma? When Mick's sister called me to say he passed away on Friday night my first comment was "He can't be dead! I owe him twenty quid!" Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > Maybe but it just struck me as odd that she mentioned the dog looked > "really more cute" before telling me about tjhe surgery > If I'd had that done to one of the Furballs I'd be sobbing with relief > that they'd made it through surgery and were eating before saying > anyhting about the cuteness Well, the important thing is, did she take care of her animal? Did she make sure the dog was getting the right care, and that she was as comfortable as possible? Was your friend there for the dog emotionally, being comforting and reassuring when needed? Those are the kinds of things I would judge a person on - for better or worse. Does it really matter that she told you the story in a rather eccentric way? Maybe it's hard for her to talk about it, so she had to tell it backwards? I've done that - when something was especially painful, I've talked *around* it for a while, until I got up enough nerve, or the other person asked the right questions, so that I could talk about it directly. > Then again I am an expert of reactions to trauma? When Mick's sister > called me to say he passed away on Friday night my first comment was > "He can't be dead! I owe him twenty quid!" LOL - sorry to laugh at such a grim story, but that's just such a normal reaction of denial (ie, "it can't be real"). People react to tragedy in so many different ways. IMO, as long as they behave in a caring and considerate manner, I don't think it matters so much what their first thought is. Was Mick's sister offended? Hey, at least you didn't say, "He can't be dead, *he* owes *me* 20 quid!" :) Joyce On 10 Nov, 15:15, jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: > Well, the important thing is, did she take care of her animal? Did she > make sure the dog was getting the right care, and that she was as > comfortable as possible? Was your friend there for the dog emotionally, > being comforting and reassuring when needed? Those are the kinds of > things I would judge a person on - for better or worse. Not really the dogs are more her parents dogs and live with them- she only sees them when she pops home for the weekend > LOL - sorry to laugh at such a grim story, I don't mind but that's just such a > normal reaction of denial (ie, "it can't be real"). People react to > tragedy in so many different ways. IMO, as long as they behave in a > caring and considerate manner, I don't think it matters so much what > their first thought is. Was Mick's sister offended? She just told me to spend the money on flowers for the funeral and you're right about people saying weird things I was having a drink with Mick once and I got some news and I stood up and quite calmly said "Mick I'm really sorry to have to go- please finish my drink for me- look I am really sorry I have to go I'd much rather sit here and talk to you but apparently my dad has just died- sorry about this" I don't remember what I said when my mum died but it was probably equally inapt but I was at home so I didn't make a fool of myself Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > Hi all > > I have a friend who doesn't like cats.. I am prepared to regard this > as a minor personality defect as long as the person would never be > cruel to a cat and she wouldn't- she's just one of those people who > was reared by d*g things and has never known the joy of cats I grew up a d*g person. Honestly, I still am more of a d*g person than cat. But Oscar has changed my life in many ways, not least of which is appreciating cats more. > She explains the d*g has had most of her lower jaw removed because > she had cancer and "Now her tongue hangs out all the time and its [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Is this just me or what? Two possibilities -- one, your friend is impossibly shallow. Two, your friend is a good person who cares a lot for her dogs, but she said it the wrong way, or it's hard to admit how scared she was for her dog, or how scared she is for what its future would be like, etc. If her family weren't seriously dedicated pet lovers, they would have had the dog PTS rather than go through expensive surgery to keep her alive this way. So I guess what I'm thinking is, the most charitable interpretation is that she's a good person who cares about her dog and just said something a little odd. And hey, maybe the dog does look cute to her. Who's the one-eyed kitty (her name escapes me right now) that was saved from the brink of death? A lot of people here commented on how cute she was because she looked like she was winking all the time.  Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > > Hi all > [quoted text clipped - 41 lines] > > pictures:http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca That would be Helen's wonderful huntress and the belated Frank's paramour, Waffles. (I think) Mutt's as ugly as homemade sin but in a freakish sort of way absolutely beautiful too. She's got some funky coloration patterns going on. So I can see making a crack about her but I'm with Lesley too. Everybody who was around me while Mutt was going through a serious surgery and post-op knew about it because I was constantly fretting over her care. But if running into a friend who asked about my pets a length of time after the health crisis I'd probably remark on any changes if it affected her looks or personality before explaining myself fully because Mutt's looks and personality have always been a subject of discussion among family and friends. If the surgery took place a few months ago, and she's no longer in a state of concern for her pet then it's easy to focus on the current state of things. My leg is no longer broken, and I'm no longer under a doctor's care so whenever somebody asks, I usually just grump about the ugly brown discoloration the incision left behind. Because that's the here and now to the situation that is no longer a situation. If that makes sense :) It's an avoidance tactic when you've been frightened, an apology of sorts for being so grim about it as much as the person may have been and it doesn't necessarily mean she had to be tragic with you but after a while personally I start to act positive because I feel so guilty about being so down all the time about something if it's bothering me. My broken leg was the end all and be all for two months. So lately even if I'm having a miserable day from arthritis I will say something positive about it when asked. I think as long as she loves her dogs, each reaction to nearly losing one is different and normal. Unless she would discard the pet if it's ugly or refuse to care for it, I wouldn't worry about it. Fear and concern sometimes can make us appear to be very crass creatures. > On Nov 10, 6:51 pm, "Monique Y. Mudama" <s...@bounceswoosh.org> > wrote: >> So I guess what I'm thinking is, the most charitable interpretation >> is that she's a good person who cares about her dog and just said [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > (I think) I think I actually meant a kitten -- Lily, maybe? > Mutt's as ugly as homemade sin but in a freakish sort of way > absolutely beautiful too. She's got some funky coloration patterns [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > explaining myself fully because Mutt's looks and personality have > always been a subject of discussion among family and friends. I think we also tend to assume that everyone we know knows everything about whatever is currently on our minds, so we may skip to the "news" instead of giving the full background. And, memory is a tricky thing. It's kind to us, tends to fade out the worst. > If the surgery took place a few months ago, and she's no longer in a > state of concern for her pet then it's easy to focus on the current [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] > Fear and concern sometimes can make us appear to be very crass > creatures. FWIW, I agree. Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > So I guess what I'm thinking is, the most charitable interpretation is > that she's a good person who cares about her dog and just said > something a little odd. And hey, maybe the dog does look cute to her. > Who's the one-eyed kitty (her name escapes me right now) that was > saved from the brink of death? A lot of people here commented on how > cute she was because she looked like she was winking all the time.//// You're possibly thinking of Miss Lily Whiskers. And she *KNOWS* she's unbelievably cute. ;o) Seriously, she's convinced that if she sits still long enough, the world will revolve around her and it frequently does. Or, possibly you're thinking of Waffles, belonging to Helen s. Or even HRFL Tiger, who rules this house with an iron paw. I suspect the person with the dog is just trying to deal with the fact her baby had a life threatening illness. People react in different ways. Helen M >> So I guess what I'm thinking is, the most charitable interpretation >> is that she's a good person who cares about her dog and just said [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > sits still long enough, the world will revolve around her and it > frequently does. That's definitely who I was thinking about! > Or, possibly you're thinking of Waffles, belonging to Helen s. > > Or even HRFL Tiger, who rules this house with an iron paw. All familiar, but I was specifically thinking of Miss Lily Whiskers. > I suspect the person with the dog is just trying to deal with the > fact her baby had a life threatening illness. People react in > different ways. *nod* Signaturemonique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca > Hi all > [quoted text clipped - 24 lines] > > Is this just me or what? No, it's definitely NOT just you! I can't imagine regarding the results of drastic cancer surgery as "cute" - but of course, I would seriously consider the prognosis and the pet's potential quality of life after surgery before having it done at all. Your friend sounds like someone from the middle ages, when physical deformity in humans was considered "cute" and amusing, too! (Being court jesters may have enabled them to survive, but can you imagine existing in a time when you had to earn your living being laughed at for something you couldn't help?) > Hi all > [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > parents > home- they are chiuahuas ( forgive the spelling)... You're forgiven. It's close enough. I believe it's spelled "chihuahua". Otherwise known as rats on sticks, when collared and leashed ;-) SignatureMatSav |
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