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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / October 2007Who am I kidding?
Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of the clothing that was her bed, and Roxie is still looking for her favorite playmate. I learned something valuable today, that distraction is great for boredom but it does jack for depression. I pretended to be my normal self through appointments I could not call off because it was too late, and sat through dinner at the inlaws with a BS smile painted on. Talk about timing. I have to substitute for my father in law at a religion conference Monday, and had to move my therapist appointment. Just when I could really use that session too! I thought after Fritzie that it would be easier to deal with; no less sad, but easier, like more accepting, i don't know. that's why i'm pissed about the therapist appointment moved at the worst time. I'm having a bastardly time getting to that acceptance stage, and swerve between anger and depression. problem with swerving is you can end up hitting a tree or something. I so hope Odessa knows we weren't sending her away, that we did what we had to for her sake. Blessed be, Baha > I thought after Fritzie that it would be easier to deal with; no less sad, > but easier, like more accepting, i don't know. that's why i'm pissed about > the therapist appointment moved at the worst time. I'm having a bastardly > time getting to that acceptance stage, and swerve between anger and > depression. Hey, what's the rush? She just passed yesterday, and you don't understand why you haven't reached the acceptance stage yet? It might take a bit longer than 24-odd hours. Give yourself some time - and give yourself a break. You're not doing it wrong. It just takes some time, that's all. I'm sorry about the therapy appointment - I agree, this would be a good time for it. What day did you move it to? Hugs & purrs, Joyce >Hey, what's the rush? She just passed yesterday, and you don't understand >why you haven't reached the acceptance stage yet? It might take a bit >longer than 24-odd hours. Give yourself some time - and give yourself a >break. You're not doing it wrong. It just takes some time, that's all. I'm just a damned perfectionist. And i'm lousy at giving myself a break. If i was good at it, I wouldn't be spending time on the proverbial couch. >I'm sorry about the therapy appointment - I agree, this would be a good >time for it. What day did you move it to? Thursday the 26th. She is the only person in town who works a more stupid schedule than I, but then my therapist also counsels at UB and college students away from home need a lot of help too. >Hugs & purrs, >Joyce thanks; we could sure use a few. > Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of > the [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha It hurts, I know - and I can only say that it's been since June 4th for me and I *still* haven't gotten to the acceptance stage - I'm, myself, swerving between anger and depression and still asking myself if there might not have been *something* I could have done differently and still had my sweet baby girl with me. But Bandit was in the last extremeties, and I know *in my head* that it was the right thing to do to release her from her worn out body - it's just my heart that still isn't convinced. All I can say is let yourself feel, let the feelings out in tears, share your grief with Louis, and try to ride the wave. You can't rush through to the other side, grief is something you have to deal with until it's done with you. We're all here to listen, most of us have been right where you are now, so you know we empathsize with you and we won't dismiss what you're feeling. Hang in there Baha, they tell me it does eventually get better. Hugs, CatNipped > Hang in there Baha, they tell me it does eventually get better. > > Hugs, > CatNipped It does. I will always MISS each of them (6), but the hurt goes away, slowly. Bobble > Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of > the [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > move my therapist appointment. Just when I could really use that session > too! I don't know if it helps for you, but being needed by the living is helping me deal with Shmogg gone. I don't get the luxury to sit around and feel sorry for myself. And Shmogg wouldn't have wanted me to either. Oh yes, he'd like to know he is being missed (and missed terribly, by everyone, especailly Cary) but I don't think he'd like me to go to peices about him. After all, he was the one telling me it was time... > I thought after Fritzie that it would be easier to deal with; no less sad, > but easier, like more accepting, i don't know. that's why i'm pissed about > the therapist appointment moved at the worst time. I'm having a bastardly > time getting to that acceptance stage, and swerve between anger and > depression. problem with swerving is you can end up hitting a tree or > something. Why would grief get any easier each time we lose a loved one? > I so hope Odessa knows we weren't sending her away, that we did what we > had > to for her sake. She knows, sweetie, she knows. Cats have a wonderful ability to see through allt he BS and fake stuff us humans carry on with, protect ourselves with, hide from the Real World and even our Real Selves from, but she could -like all cats- see straight into your heart and could tell very well what you were doing was of no benefit to you, but done solely for her, out of love. Hugs sweetie, hugs. Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know what that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but go do it. Do something positive, and treat yourself kindly. She wouldn't want you to be like this for long, and heck, neither do we. Yowie >I don't know if it helps for you, but being needed by the living is helping >me deal with Shmogg gone. I don't get the luxury to sit around and feel >sorry for myself. I try not to go wallowing in self-pity, it accomplishes nothing. it's a damn temptation though. That was why I kept my appointments. Louie said Odessa would want me to keep up the routine. >Why would grief get any easier each time we lose a loved one? Grief itself, no, hell no. Finding the appropriate means to deal, maybe. I think that was what I meant. You can't NOT grieve, it would be unnatural. >> I so hope Odessa knows we weren't sending her away, that we did what we >> had >> to for her sake. > >She knows, sweetie, she knows. Cats have a wonderful ability to see through >allt he BS and fake stuff us humans carry on with, protect ourselves with They would make fabulous diplomats. :-) >Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know what >that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but go do it. Do >something positive, and treat yourself kindly. She wouldn't want you to be >like this for long, and heck, neither do we. Thank you. I need a reality-check butt-kicking every now and again. Maybe I'll have beans for breakfast before going to my therapist and keep the doctor-farting customs alive! (I can see, er, hear this now--"Why are you peeling the paint off my walls, Liz?" "The cat told me to." And the curtain closes on the therapist calling the guys with the butterfly nets and the fashionable jackets with the extra-long arms and the neat ties across the back, as seen in Vogue.) Blessed be, Baha Feeling a little more cheeky now, thank you!!! > Maybe > I'll have beans for breakfast before going to my therapist and keep the [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > fashionable jackets with the extra-long arms and the neat ties across the > back, as seen in Vogue.) And gas masks - don't forget the gas masks! Joyce you know grief is different each time we deal with it, the pain is always there. in 1998 Violette had her second and lest litter of kittens, a week before the end of the month a very dear friend of mine, DH's and Gramby had a heart event that put her into a coma and the next day DH's father thought he was having a heart attack. Turned out that he had a mild one in the ER and was put into ICU... fast forward a week, which felt like a month, I won't do the details for you but around the second of October the DF was taken off life support, and then DH's stepmother called DH's father had been stricken with a massive stroke... on the way from IL to NC I stayed on the phone with another friend reading me the vital signs of the friend dying... we got to NC and DH got to tell his father goodbye, they passed within a day of each other... another week of hell and details to stressful to relate passed and we had the services, lots of travel... both of us were holding up quite well given the immense pain, travel and lack of sleep... after the second service we arrived home, upon opening the door and stepping Violette ran up to me and put her paws pleading on my leg... she was feral and not given to physical contact, then she ran to DH, then to a point in the living room where we couldn't see her, then back to DH howling, he followed her, and one of the kittens lay still, having taken the next step at less than a month old, we both broke down and cried like babies, all of the reserves we had were gone and we cried for a long time, the point is, it is always different, but it is always painful, Lee > >I don't know if it helps for you, but being needed by the living is helping > >me deal with Shmogg gone. I don't get the luxury to sit around and feel [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] > Message posted via CatKB.com > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200710/1 >you know grief is different each time we deal with it, the pain is always >there. snipping for brevity Oh, MAN. My heart at this moment is heading right out to you...to have to go through so much in so short a time! You seem a most incredible human being... Blessed be, Baha I am extremely lucky, I was raised by two wonderful people so the abuse I did receive only scarred me moderately, and DH is a one of a kind human being... exactly one year after His father took the next step his grandfather on his mom's side took the step. This year it was the end of august, both of my father's sisters passed away within a week of each other, and a cousin's grand daughter died of a brain tumor, she was six, one of the blessings of a large family is there is generally lots of love, the two largest drawbacks, are the losses of the good family and the staying out of the way of the bad family, understand hat I know your grief is no less real than ours was, the configuration of the being who took the next step is not a factor in the love, loss or grief, Lee > >you know grief is different each time we deal with it, the pain is always > >there. [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Message posted via CatKB.com > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200710/1 >Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know what >that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but go do it. Do >something positive, and treat yourself kindly. She wouldn't want you to be >like this for long, and heck, neither do we. Oh, yeah, forgot to ask--did you get a piercing? As for positive, we're going to the Orchestra at the end of the month to hear a Russian program (most of my favorite composers include the Russian Five) for my Black Russian princess. She liked classical music too. Blessed be, Baha > >Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know what >>that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but go do it. Do >>something positive, and treat yourself kindly. She wouldn't want you to be >>like this for long, and heck, neither do we. > > Oh, yeah, forgot to ask--did you get a piercing? I did. At the very top of my left ear. It still hurts. I think it might be a bit infected because its impossible to put the antibacterial stuff on it, and I can't turn it at all. But hey, I'm still happy its there even if it does throb every time I touch it, and my ahir gets caught in it, and I can't sleep on my 'favourite' sleeping side. Its a terrible, washed out photo but here is the piercing. http://members.optusnet.com.au/~drwatson/images/PICT0003.jpg Its the top one - I had my lobes done when I was 11. Its a Shmogg-eye-colour green 'jewel' set in gold plated surgical steel. > As for positive, we're going to the Orchestra at the end of the month to > hear > a Russian program (most of my favorite composers include the Russian Five) > for my Black Russian princess. She liked classical music too. Awww, hugs. Cary now goes around telling people that his cat died. Wish he wouldn't, it pierces his heart every time he says it, but its in the same way he tells people he did a big poo or that he had toast for breakfast, very factual and not really understanding what it means or the whether its an appropriate thing to say to strangers. Unfortunately, strangers are remarkably sympathetic - to him - and give him things that they otherwise might not (stickers, free lollies, attention etc), so he is rewarded for telling people his cat has died and keeps doing it. Me, I gets a stomach bug for my trouble.... Yowie get a spongue and cut it in two one inch squares, get a towel, soak the sponge in whatever and squeeae them on your ear. Keep repeating, eventually it will run in the right places. No need for you to end up with a problem. >> >Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know what >>>that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but go do it. Do [quoted text clipped - 36 lines] > > Yowie > get a spongue and cut it in two one inch squares, get a towel, soak > the sponge in whatever and squeeae them on your ear. Keep repeating, > eventually it will run in the right places. No need for you to end > up with a problem. Yep. I only have two piercings (one in each ear LOL) but I had one get infected immediately after I got it. A solution of hydrogen peroxide applied twice daily relieved the infection and I was soon able to turn the earring, which is important to prevent the skin from growing back around the new piercing. Jill "Yowie" <yowie9644.DIESPAMDIE@yahoo.com.au> wrote >>>> Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't >>>> know what that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) [quoted text clipped - 38 lines] >> >> Yowie > Cary now goes around telling people that his cat died. Wish he > wouldn't, it pierces his heart every time he says it, but its in the [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > Yowie It may pierce his heart when he says it, but it's his way of dealing with it. You'd be surprised at what young age kids grasp the concept of death. I had just turned 4 when a parakeet my brother had rescued as an escapee died. I went to my mother and said, "Mommy, the birdie is sleeping on the bottom of the cage." Of course she knew without looking the bird wasn't sleeping. She explained to me the bird had gone to sleep forever in a better place. And I cried, yes, because the pretty blue bird wouldn't be back. I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. Obviously there are differences when you're 4 and lose a bird that has only been in the household for 6 months as opposed to a cat or dog you've known all your life. But kids are very resiliant and have an amazing grasp of reality. Jill I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. I was put off religion because I told someone my rabbit had died, I was about 6-7 and I told my Sunday School teacher who said that was sad and I said something like "But he's in Heaven now isn't he?" Only to have the guy snap back: "Don't be silly! Animals don't have souls!" Lesley Slave of the Fabulous Furballs Idiots even teach Sunday School. > I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. >> [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > > Slave of the Fabulous Furballs > I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. >> [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Lesley *HUGE SIGH* Yet another reason I can't stand "organized" religion and am glad I wasn't raised that way. They all seem to have preconceived notions about everything. Animals don't have souls. You'll go to Hell if you dance. God will smite you if you utter a curse word. How many people realize when the Christian Bible as we know it was written the church left out a few of the books? Anyone ever heard of Lilith, Adam's first wife? Oh no, they don't want you to know about that. The Christian Bible conveniently edited out such things. Lilith is presented as a myth, even in some Hebrew translations. She's also depicted as a demon who ate children. Yet the lore about her in Hebrew culture is as strong as the stories of Adam & Eve that the Christian Bible tells. Sprung from a rib? Yeah, RIGHT. I have a hard time buying into any of that, to tell you the truth. I'm sorry your Sunday school teacher was such a narrow-minded twit. Jill > *HUGE SIGH* Yet another reason I can't stand "organized" religion and am > glad I wasn't raised that way. They all seem to have preconceived notions > about everything. Animals don't have souls. You'll go to Hell if you > dance. God will smite you if you utter a curse word. As Tom's bumper sticker says: "Follow those who seek the truth, run from those who find it" :)  SignatureVictor M. Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam here: uce@ftc.gov Email me here: pistorLITTER@BOXaustin.rr.com >> *HUGE SIGH* Yet another reason I can't stand "organized" religion and am >> glad I wasn't raised that way. They all seem to have preconceived [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > As Tom's bumper sticker says: "Follow those who seek the truth, run from > those who find it" :) Now that is a bumper sticker I really love. I've always believed that most dangerous person in the world is one who is absolutely sure they are right. And that everyone else should agree with them. Jo >> *HUGE SIGH* Yet another reason I can't stand "organized" religion and am >> glad I wasn't raised that way. They all seem to have preconceived [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > As Tom's bumper sticker says: "Follow those who seek the truth, run from > those who find it" :) LOL! Love it! > I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > >Only to have the guy snap back: "Don't be silly! Animals don't have souls!" I remember catching hell in Catholic school over this argument. I proposed for years that God would not deny the residents of the Elysian Plains the companionship of animals because, first, God made them; second, why would He deny a person the pleasure of playing with a kitty, or riding a pony, or tossing a ball to a dog? The heavens would be boring otherwise. I got that animals-don't-think, animals-don't-have-souls horsepucky too. It came close to turning me off from legalistic religion, until I thought to thumb my nose at it. Blessed be, Baha > I was put off religion because I told someone my rabbit had died, I was about > 6-7 and I told my Sunday School teacher who said that was sad and I said > something like "But he's in Heaven now isn't he?" > Only to have the guy snap back: "Don't be silly! Animals don't have souls!" YUCK!! What an idiot. Joyce > > I was put off religion because I told someone my rabbit had died, I was about > > 6-7 and I told my Sunday School teacher who said that was sad and I said [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > YUCK!! What an idiot. It's people like that who make me wonder whether all HUMANS have souls! How many non-human animals have you known who were deliberately spiteful, who killed except for food, or who engaged in other of the less attractive human behaviours? > Joyce > I'm pretty sure I told people our birdie had died. >> [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > Only to have the guy snap back: "Don't be silly! Animals don't have > souls!" Now thats the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time! I have absolutley no doubt animals will be in Heaven (Paradise, Nirvana, the Sumemrlands). First, I can't imagine any loving creator not allowing htem to be there - they're sinless, for a start. And second, if they aren't there, what sort of 'heaven' can it be??? And third, what a cruel and heartless thing to say to a 6-7 year old grieving child. That guy should *NOT* have had anythign to do with children! Yowie (the discussion about 'what is a soul' and 'whether animals have/need a soul' is neither here not there, at this point) > I was put off religion because I told someone my rabbit had died, > I was about 6-7 and I told my Sunday School teacher who said that > was sad and I said something like "But he's in Heaven now isn't he?" > > Only to have the guy snap back: "Don't be silly! Animals don't > have souls!" One of those people who writes weird letters to stragers and then compiles the answers (Henry Root, Robin Cooper, Laszlo Toth, those two young women whose names I forget) sent the same query to the leaders of every religion in the UK they could get an address for: do animals go to heaven? The answers were bizarrely revealing and a lot more interesting than most of these pranks. The only leader to give a straight yes was a Muslim. Almost everybody else was evasive. The Christian sects, who nearly all have an official doctrine saying no, tried very hard to avoid admitting the fact, as they saw it as bad PR. The Buddhist spokesman said "why are you even asking such a question? work on your own enlightenment instead". The Hindus have a doctrine which says "maybe" but I think they played it down so as not to seem too alien. And sorry Baha, I don't have the faintest recollection what the Sikh respondent said. (Probably the Confucian answer was "yes and they'll be very tasty up there"). ============== j-c ====== @ ====== purr . demon . co . uk ============== Jack Campin: 11 Third St, Newtongrange EH22 4PU, Scotland | tel 0131 660 4760 <http://www.purr.demon.co.uk/jack/> for CD-ROMs and free | fax 0870 0554 975 stuff: Scottish music, food intolerance, & Mac logic fonts | mob 07800 739 557 > One of those people who writes weird letters to stragers and then > compiles the answers (Henry Root, Robin Cooper, Laszlo Toth, those > two young women whose names I forget) sent the same query to the > leaders of every religion in the UK they could get an address for: > do animals go to heaven? > The answers were bizarrely revealing and a lot more interesting than > most of these pranks. The only leader to give a straight yes was a [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > alien. And sorry Baha, I don't have the faintest recollection what > the Sikh respondent said. Hmm... I wonder what the rabbi said (assuming he/she asked one)? I'm not religious enough to know the answer myself. BTW, I love the Lazlo Toth letters - there are two collections, but the first one was much funnier because nobody was onto him yet. By the second book, several of the people he was writing to had read the first book, so they knew what was going on. And they humored him with tongue in cheek, making sure it was clear they knew exactly who he was. And now I'm trying to remember the comedian's name. He also played Father Guido Sarducci. I'm sure Theresa knows. :) Joyce I think Jill is right, it is his wasy of dealing and, come on Mom, let the old folks give his tid bits, makes him feel good and us too. Nothing worse than knowing a child, or adult for that matter, is hurting and you can't do a damn thing abouot it. >> Cary now goes around telling people that his cat died. Wish he >> wouldn't, it pierces his heart every time he says it, but its in the [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > > Jill >>> Go out and do something for yourself in honour of her. I don't know >>> what that is for you (my ear, however, still hurts like heck) but [quoted text clipped - 34 lines] > trouble.... > Yowie I saw Cary's candle, I was very moved. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) Cats leave pawprints on your heart http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk in my belief system, the next step, takes you to perfect enlighten, so she will know your heart and love you for doing what way best for her rather than yourselves, Lee > Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of the > clothing that was her bed, and Roxie is still looking for her favorite [quoted text clipped - 23 lines] > Message posted via CatKB.com > http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx/cat-anecdotes/200710/1 Young lady, you listen to me, I am old enough to know that you ar punishing yourself for something that isn't necessary. Your Dolly knows you cared for her and, she knows you did the best for her. It all comes down to, would you want someone to go to great lengths to keep you here even if it made you miserable or, Let you go onto where your are well and healthy again? I had to make this decision with a human, my husband and, I refuse to second guess myself. I believe in the DO UNTO OTHERS, even if that other is a beloved pet. You did your best and that is all anyone can do. Please grab your elbows and give yourself a big hug, you deserve it. Gramby who hates to see you hurting so. > Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of > the [quoted text clipped - 25 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Thanks...I never had a Babcia in my life to point me toward clarity before, and sometimes i do need it. Blessed be, Baha >Young lady, you listen to me, I am old enough to know that you ar punishing >yourself for something that isn't necessary. Your Dolly knows you cared for [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] >> Blessed be, >> Baha > Who, indeed? I miss her, my poor little Odessa. Brandy won't stay out of the > clothing that was her bed, and Roxie is still looking for her favorite [quoted text clipped - 19 lines] > Blessed be, > Baha Lots and lots of purrs and hugs, Polonca and Soncek |
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