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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / September 2007Smokey vs Nox--problem
Ever since we moved (two months ago now), Smokey and Nocturne have been having issues. I knew it would take time for everyone to get used to the new location, but this is getting a bit much. Tyche and Kumani have completely adjusted to having the whole family in a new house, and Smokey seems okay except he keeps pestering Nox. Nocturne is growling at him 4 or 5 times a day, her ears back, hissing and snarling, and it's beginning to become a concern. Nocturne will not come out into the living room at all. She used to sleep on the brown chair all day but she won't touch it any more. She spends most of her time in the closets or on top of the fridge hiding from Smokey. She sleeps on our heads as of the past month, but gets all agitated when Smokey comes into the room and every night this week we have woken up to them fighting. The worst is when he is on the window sill (over the bed) and we have a snarling Nox on our heads and a hyper Smokey ready to jump down on her (and us). It's gotten to the point where Nox will start growling and snarling if Smokey even walks into the room. She wants nothing to do with him at all. As soon as she starts, Smokey gets all interested (even if he was ignoring her before) and starts to stare at her, lash his tail, etc and if she looks away from him AT ALL he runs up and tries to pounce on her. Smokey will NOT take the hint that she doesn't like him or that he is bothering her. HE will not leave her alone and SHE is being completely intolerant and doesn't even want him in sight of her. They were never like this in Halifax (she would swat him if he got in her face, but not this constant growling and hissing at him, or his repeated attempts to jump on her every time he sees her). When they were in the kennel right before the move I saw them meatloafed together. WTF? I am getting worried that she is stressed out too much, and doesn't seem to feel safe unless she's in the closet. Does anyone have any ideas? Would Feliway help? Where would I get some? --Fil > They were never like this in Halifax (she would swat him if he got in > her face, but not this constant growling and hissing at him, or his > repeated attempts to jump on her every time he sees her). When they > were in the kennel right before the move I saw them meatloafed > together. WTF? Maybe because he got to the house a month earlier than she did, both of them are viewing it as his territory more than hers? But since she used to be dominant in the old place, she's not going to defer to him without a fight. > Does anyone have any ideas? Would Feliway help? Where would I get > some? It's sold in pet stores in the US. You could ask if your local ones have it. If it's not sold in Canada, I could buy some here and mail it to you. Joyce Tyche and Kumani got to the new place a month early. They got over their "WE LIVE HERE U DONT" issues in a week. Smokey and Nocturne were together in Halifax for that month (usual "Nox only bitchy if Smokey is in her face"); a week in the kennel (Nox and Smokey inseperable) and, as soon as we got here, it's like Smokey ate a whole bottle of Viagra, and Nox has loathed his existence ever since--until now she doesn't even want him in the same room as her. --Fil (I'll check the local pet store in the coming week, Joyce, and if I can't find Feliway I'll let you know) What is Feliway like, anyway? A powder? A spray? Like a humidifier that you plug in? > Maybe because he got to the house a month earlier than she did, both of > them are viewing it as his territory more than hers? But since she used > to be dominant in the old place, she's not going to defer to him without > a fight. > Tyche and Kumani got to the new place a month early. They got over > their "WE LIVE HERE U DONT" issues in a week. [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > What is Feliway like, anyway? A powder? A spray? Like a humidifier > that you plug in? Its more like a plug in room freshener. Its supposed to be related to the pheromones that cats rub against the corners of things when they are in a good mood. Kind of a small scent gland between the nose and eye. You know how they like that part of their faces rubbed and like to rub it against things. Sometimes when I have cats that are just learning to get along, I'll intentionally rub my thumb on ones face, and then pet the other one. I have no idea if it works but it is supposed to give them a sense of belonging together. Jo > Tyche and Kumani got to the new place a month early. They got over > their "WE LIVE HERE U DONT" issues in a week. [quoted text clipped - 17 lines] >> to be dominant in the old place, she's not going to defer to him without >> a fight. It comes in a spray and in a diffuser (that is like a "plug in" and that would be the most useful). > Tyche and Kumani got to the new place a month early. They got over > their "WE LIVE HERE U DONT" issues in a week. > Smokey and Nocturne were together in Halifax for that month Oh, oops - that makes more sense, put the "bitties" together. I got the arrangement confused. > (I'll check the local pet store in the coming week, Joyce, and if I > can't find Feliway I'll let you know) OK! If you want to email me privately, just take all the X's out of my name. > What is Feliway like, anyway? A powder? A spray? Like a humidifier > that you plug in? It's a plug-in thing that has a small bottle of liquid attached below it. It takes the liquid and emanates bits of it into the atmosphere. By the way, humans can't smell it, so you won't even notice it's there. Joyce > Ever since we moved (two months ago now), Smokey and Nocturne have > been having issues. I knew it would take time for everyone to get [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > --Fil Well, you could separate them and "re-introduce". Also, a Feliway diffuser may help. Moving is really stressful on cats. I hope you figure something out. > Well, you could separate them and "re-introduce". Also, a Feliway > diffuser may help. Moving is really stressful on cats. I hope you figure > something out. I thought about the re-introuction too. But it's really strange that they've gone from such extremes (meatloafing together) to such extremes. Some cats just hate change so much. Maybe just let Nox sleep in the closet when she wants to and try to keep Smokey out of her face for now? Though a hoomin stepping in and interfering with their doings might upset them even more. I feel for you, Fil. The snuggle/wrstling buddies here are sending acceptance-of-each-other purrs for Nox and Smokey.  SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. how is the space different? smaller, less rooms, sounds like a territory thing to me, good luck, Lee > Ever since we moved (two months ago now), Smokey and Nocturne have > been having issues. I knew it would take time for everyone to get [quoted text clipped - 37 lines] > > --Fil >They were never like this in Halifax (she would swat him if he got in >her face, but not this constant growling and hissing at him, or his [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] >Does anyone have any ideas? Would Feliway help? Where would I get >some? This sounds a bit like Buster and Dot when they were a bit worse off. Feliway didn't help, and drugs didn't help too much either, but what happened in our case is that after Buster was whacked in the face a few times by Dot, he became a bit warier, and eventually a bit more respecful of her. I know this may not help you much, but that's what happened here. > This sounds a bit like Buster and Dot when they were a bit worse off. > Feliway didn't help, and drugs didn't help too much either, but what > happened in our case is that after Buster was whacked in the face a > few times by Dot, he became a bit warier, and eventually a bit more > respecful of her. I know this may not help you much, but that's what > happened here. By the way, Tak, are you still giving Dot the medication? Joyce > > This sounds a bit like Buster and Dot when they were a bit worse off. > > Feliway didn't help, and drugs didn't help too much either, but what [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > >By the way, Tak, are you still giving Dot the medication? Yes, she's still on the anti-anxiety medication buspirone, but I'll take her off it after this course. Her problem wasn't primarily anxiety, but a personality conflict with Buster. > > > This sounds a bit like Buster and Dot when they were a bit worse off. > > > Feliway didn't help, and drugs didn't help too much either, but what [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > > >By the way, Tak, are you still giving Dot the medication? > Yes, she's still on the anti-anxiety medication buspirone, but I'll > take her off it after this course. Her problem wasn't primarily > anxiety, but a personality conflict with Buster. I hope that once she's off of it, she will remember that she can now stand up to him, and their relationship won't be conflicted anymore. (At least, not to the point where it's unbearable for her!) Joyce The space here is the same size as our old apartment. However....The major difference is that before, we lived on top of a huge hill. Here, we live with a big tree outside our balcony and a farm across the road. Smokey sees pigeons in the tree, squirrels on the balcony and groundhogs on the farm. I have seen him do the "teeth chattering" thing and staring at the "prey" outside. I wonder if that has ramped up his hunting instincts...he sees the prey, gets all hot and bothered, and goes to jump on Nox/Tyche/Kumani? (Yes, he harasses the kittens too, but they seem more able to slap him off and then forget about it, while Nox and her wounded dignity need 5 hours in the closet to get over it.) He's even hid in wait and launched himself at my knees a few times. --Fil > > > > This sounds a bit like Buster and Dot when they were a bit worse off. > > > > Feliway didn't help, and drugs didn't help too much either, but what [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > > > happened here. > > > > However....The major difference is that before, we lived on top of a > huge hill. Here, we live with a big tree outside our balcony and a [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > has ramped up his hunting instincts...he sees the prey, gets all hot > and bothered, and goes to jump on Nox/Tyche/Kumani? Could it be... that Smokey is actually taking interest in the Out?? > (Yes, he harasses > the kittens too, but they seem more able to slap him off and then > forget about it, while Nox and her wounded dignity need 5 hours in the > closet to get over it.) That's the thing with bullies. They look scary, but push back on them and they crumble! Purrs for Nox and her damaged pride. Joyce Smokey's been interested in the out before, but mostly in the context of "IM IN HEER, UR NOT, U SUK!" He used to sit and look smugly down on the entire city of Halifax, pitying the fools who were on the sidewalks. He still won't set paw on the balcony, but you can tell he wants a pigeon to fly through the screen door. Really, really badly. > Could it be... that Smokey is actually taking interest in the Out?? > That's the thing with bullies. They look scary, but push back on them > and they crumble! Nox is really a strange creature. She's bitten me in my sleep, terrorized my friends and snubbed my family, but she's just so clingy, upset and insecure if anything reminds her that she is NOT god and master of the apartment. If one of us goes away for a week or so, she barks accusingly at the other (m'yeh!) for our failure to fix the problem at once, and then she snubs the absent one for a few days upon homecoming. And, of course, she tends us when we're sick (a few nights ago DP got his entire head washed very thoroughly). It's like we're the kittens.... --Fil
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