We're sending our purrs for things to settle down between Dot and
Buster
Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

I don't know what to tell you, Tak, except I'm sorry you, Dot and Buster are
having these problems.  I really think some cats have personality problems
just like some humans do.  We got Demi when she was only 5 weeks old, have
treated her like the little princess she is for the last 9 years, but during
that entire time she has lived under a bed and fled from us whenever we
approach her even for pettin's.  It breaks my heart when I think about all
she's missed in her life, but there never was anything that we could do to
change her.  That's one of the reasons I was so upset when Sammy started
living under my bed when we got Tayla - I *DID NOT* want to have another cat
who lives her life in fear and alone, it would have broken my heart to see
me outgoing lovable little Sammy end up like that, because that is *NOT* her
natural personality!

Hugs,

CatNipped

I'm thinking that the Buspar ought to help. If it doesn't at the end of
the course, you might want to talk to the about one of the other similar
drugs. Sometimes animals (or people) just fail to respond to some drugs.

Dan

I really don't know what to suggest, Tak.  You are doing the best you can to
integrate them.  I would probably contact the shelter to see exactly why Dot
was given up, if the owners told the truth, of course.
I would persevere myself, for ages.  Let the house smell for a while, it
might be worth it in the end.
If Dot will never *ever* accept Buster in the house without peeing your
house up, you face a harder decision that I would ever want to make.
Purrs and prayers coming over the pond for you all.

Tweed

Can't we just get along purrs and wishes for you all from the
Fayetteville Mafia.  Hopefully the medications will help her and
she'll see that sharing her Paw with Buster is a good thing.  Is
there a kitty behaviorist in your area that you can consult?

Pam S.

Purrs are on the way.

Tak,
I'm sorry that things are not going as you had hoped.  I hope the
medicine will help Dot's anxiety.  Whatever you decide, I know that
you will take great pains to look at all the angles and to do the best
you can for both the kitties.

Annie

Purrs for Dot to love Buster soon. :)

dearest Tak:

Although I read this group almost every day, you know how little I post.
You are my kitty-rescuer hero and I have often told sympathetic animal
lovers of your super-hero life of caring for a kitty.  Betty's story sucked
me into this group (I mean that in a GOOD way) and also any fan-club you
may be the subject of :)

I was so thrilled when you adopted again but was scared about whom you
adopted.  Trying to intergrate two strange kitties at once is an awesome
undertaking under the best of circumstances and the odds were probably
stacked way against you.  As you sacrificed monetarily and more importantly
your HEART for Betty, you are now sacrificing your lifestyle. You have a
right to sanitation, hygiene, whatever you want to call it. This isn't the
case of an invalid or immature animal wrecking your home.  Dot is UNhappy
and that needs to be addressed sooner now than later.

Kitties are sentient beings in all the colors of the rainbow like people.
Your little blended family is not well blended, that's all.  No fault of
yours.  Or them!

Dot is obviously an only-kitty type.  I had one of those, my greatest
bestest and most wonderful kitty.  She did not act out when another kitty
was brought in, she simply ignored the other to death and made it perfectly
clear she was in fact, a squirrel :)

And Buster, I would say right now I would be happy to take Buster from you.
He is the kind of upbeat happy dude I need! The apt where I live allows one
cat and only one though.  And you know what?  Buster needs another kitty :(

Dot, I can't abide the inappropriate elimination.  There are times where
that is what you have to live with and I have, but Dot has issues.  They
may work out if her life is as she needs it to be but I don't have the
resources to address it.

Anyway, this is just moral support for what is probably the unpopular
opinion.  Keep Dot.  Only cat.  And Buster is more adoptable (damn, I WANT
him) but he needs other kitties to play with.  

You just can't have them both.  Buster can survive and is being a
well-behaved companion under the current restrictions, but is this really
fair to him, you want him to go a year like this when he could be playing
in a clowder?

And currently you are keeping Dot a veritable hostage of her personality
(whim? disorder?) who is showing her displeasure about her current
circumstances in the best way she knows how.  

You will do the right thing.  I have the upmost of faith in you, and well,
yeah I will probably get flamed but whatever.  As long as we all try to do
our best by the wonderful furry souls that do cross the paths in our
lifetime :)

No advice to share, Tak, but many purrs and good thoughts on the way for
 Dot to "settle in" and enjoy her new realm with a doting Paw, even
though it includes a "pesky young-un".

Sam, closely supervised by Mistletoe

Lots of purrs and best wishes for buspirone to work,
Polonca and Soncek