Funnies for Rob

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Debra - 08 Apr 2007 02:11 GMT

Idiot Sightings!!!!

Be careful, be very careful

IDIOT SIGHTING: Gene and I had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not
have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and
said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2
horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4
horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO,
it's not." Four is larger than two. We haven't used Sears repair
since.
_____________________________________________________________________
IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many
deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good
place
for them to be crossing anymore."

>From Ft Dodge , IA

______________________________________________________
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a
Chef?
Yep...Ft Dodge again !
______________________________________________________
IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged
coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I
explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled,
she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She
was
a probation officer in Wichita , KS
__________________________________________________
IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another
word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-
headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________ ________
IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand
why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Las Vegas County
Sheriffs office no less.
____________________________________________________
IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked
in
it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the
passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!
His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford
dealership in Stockton , California!
_______________________________________________________

STAY ALERT! They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE!!!
Debra in VA
See my quilts at
http://community.webshots.com/user/debplayshere

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Gabey8 - 08 Apr 2007 12:47 GMT

LOL! OK, I can contribute to this thread. I have a post from my blog, from
late February, that my friends loved. Here it goes:
----

February 28, 2007

This morning, I saw a commuter on the regional rail train who had his
bicycle with him. There's nothing unusual about that; I see people with
bicycles on the subway and on the regional rail line all the time.

But THIS bike was out-of-the-ordinary because of one particular accessory
that it bore. Dangling from its rear reflector, which was just under the
back of the bike seat, was a green pine-tree shaped car deodorizer.

Anyone who knows how punchy I am in the morning, before the caffeine
really starts to kick in, will appreciate how quickly my mind started
going off on various tangents. For example, "Why would someone need to
install an air freshener right behind their bike seat? Does he eat beans
prior to riding?"

Upon mulling this over, however, I realized that there could be some
practical applications of this idea. "Boost your bike's speed: use
compressed air!" Or "Jet propulsion: coming soon to a bicycle near you!"

Hey, what if THAT was Lance Armstrong's secret weapon all along? There's
no need for doping or other illegal, dangerous methods of boosting
performance; just consume broccoli, beans, and a glass of milk with every
meal. Perfectly safe, legal, ethical, and healthy to boot.

Then again, it'd take an awful lot of those air fresheners to conceal that
particular method of performance enhancement from the rest of the
competition, particularly when they're all trailing the rider in question.
So I presume that he made no attempt to skew the odds in his favor by
harnessing the power of wind.

See what I mean about being punchy and going off on tangents first thing
in the morning? This is all my fellow commuter's fault. Him and his air
freshener! Blame all this rambling on him. ;o)
----
Update: about two weeks later, I saw Mr. Air Freshener again. I tried to
take a camera-phone picture as I was walking past the bicycle and to exit
the train. Unfortunately, in the absence of using a flash, any camera
shake is all too obvious. Sorry about the blur, but at least you can see
that there is, in fact, a green air freshener under the bicycle seat:

http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger2/2904/654/1600/z/548010/200703130901_00056-
707889.jpg

Donna, Captain, and Stanley

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Tanada - 08 Apr 2007 16:11 GMT

Maybe this is why Rob never got into competitive bicycle racing. He would
have had an unfair advantage with this system.

Pam S. laughing

> LOL! OK, I can contribute to this thread. I have a post from my blog, from
> late February, that my friends loved. Here it goes:
[quoted text clipped - 44 lines]
>
> Donna, Captain, and Stanley

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