Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm the flute teacher at this
school and last week the band director had a flutist from Hawaii come
in to give a workshop, without asking me.  I was sitting beside him
and he said, in front of my students, "You all know I don't play
flute.  Why do you think I brought in a flute specialist?"  (Er, isn't
there one sitting beside you??) He's very young and just doesn't
think.  I know he values my teaching, but... it just never occurred to
him that you shouldn't say that in front of someone's students!

Because he's young and such, I just laughed afterwards.

Cantate

Of course it matters to you! You stated very, very well why it matters to
you, and it certainly is important! Volunteers are the backbone of churches,
and clergy who fail to recognize that do their congregations a grave
injustice. I can think of few things as painful as being told essentially
that one's gifts aren't wanted.
An organist colleague of mine says that churches are the most un-Christian
places. I have my own history as a professional organist of receiving
abysmal treatment by clergy and choir directors; I don't want to place
myself in harm's way anymore by taking another church music position.
If your clergyperson is not a "people person" he should find another line of
work, in my opinion, before he does further damage.

David