IMO, in that case she'd have been justified in throwing THEM
in front of a passing car!

One of the nice things about being a witch is that if you tell JWs
that, they don't come back.

--Fil

In my neck of the woods, we get periodic leaflets through the door from a
group that's set up locally and are the local creationist/ID nuts. My
offspring, in his subtle manner keeps muttering about going to one of their
meetings dressed in a Flying Spaghetti Monster outfit and handing out some
of these...

http://www.venganza.org/images/spreadword/sk_brochure.pdf

and these...

http://www.venganza.org/materials/flyers/

I like his style ;-)

I get the impression that some of them think "solicitation"
only means prostitution!  ;-)

There are signs clearly posted in "Persia's" apartment complex (all over the
place) which say solicitation (by anyone) must be cleared by management and
they must present a permit from the office in order to do so.  It doesn't
stop the dudes who try to sell magazines to (allegedly) pay for their
college education or for a school trip or whatever.  I have nothing at *all*
against education, I'm all for it!  But I'm not going to buy magazines from
some guy knocking on my door and not candy and not religion, either.

Jill

I managed to work out how to get rid of Mormons last June...below is an
entry I posted in my diary at the time...

Tonight, the door bell went whilst I was chowing down on some Ben and
Jerry's Phish Food ice cream straight out of the rather large tub
(ultimate comfort food), dressed in my "DSS" green tracksuit bottoms and
t-shirt with bleach stains after going for a run. I answered it. More
fool me. Stood at the door were 2 brain-washed cretins in smart shirts
with their little badges. Bless. I do so love the "The Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-Day Saints". NOT.

I can do beligerent very well when I feel like it, and I've had a pretty
shitty day.

"Can I help you?" I said, leaning against the door and shoving a
spoonfull of ice-cream in my mouth.
"We're spreading the word of Christ" they said.
"Are you? That's nice." I said.
"Do you believe in the Lord God?" they said.
"Not yours. Why?" I said, shoving more ice cream in my mouth.

They then started off on some blurb about some crap and I tuned out.
After they rambled for a bit and started discussing the merits of why we
were in Iraq and Afghanistan and them not leaving, despite my asking
them twice to get out of my front porch, I went nuts. I *think* I told
them to get a clue from a clue bus, preferably by them being run over by
said bus, and that being a soldier of Christ was for the brain washed
religious fundamentalist moronic masses.

In reality I have no idea what I said as I was so wound up. Mary my
neighbour had come to her door to see what all my yelling was about and
arrived just as I had thrown melted chocolate & toffee ice cream all
over their very nice smartly pressed clean shirts. Bless her, she did
try to clean them up, but a grubby gardening glove is not really the
implement for the job. Next time they'll get the water treatment.

To be fair, they did do the job they set out to do. They made me feel an
awful lot better and significantly improved my day. Just not in the way
they originally envisaged.

-----

Did I mention I hate religious callers? ;o)

Helen M

That is brilliant! And hysterical. But did the people in the meetings
connect her to the person at such-and-such address? Sounds like it from
the story, but I don't understand how they managed that.

Joyce

She was lucky it didn't get her arrested!  (JW's seem to be
singularly devoid of humour.)

And I am reminded of an episode of that most sacred of broadcasts, The Nanny,
where Sylvia says she once went naked to the apartmetn door to surprise her
husband...

"But in the meantime ya nevah saw anothah Jehovah's Witness in our building
again!"

Shalom,
Baha

I'll have to remember that one, thanks for the tip. ;o)

This story reminds me of what my buddy David and I did to some Mormon
missionaries in Flagstaff. We were visiting a friend and had parked near his
house and when we left headed toward the car - my minivan - we saw them
headed down the block toward us. So we got into the back of the van, opened
the screened back windows, pulled the curtains, and started making noise and
jumping around to make the van shake, rattle and roll as they walked by!

I must say, I've never had much trouble with religious callers. I just
usually say something vague about having my own religion, accept leaflets
if they're pushed in my hand and move on.

I don't really get them at the door much - or I don't know if I do -
because I don't have a doorbell and mostly don't hear people knocking,
especially if I'm in the back away from the front door. When I moved in, I
thought "No doorbell!! I really must buy one." but as time passed, I began
to see the advantages of not having one.

I must have a bit of a weird reputation, though, because I also live on a
very busy street and don't want the cats out. My way of dealing with it is
to open the door a mere crack like the stereotypical paranoid old bat who
thinks everyone who comes to the door must be a burglar.

Politicians seem to be better that religion enthusiasts at really
hammering at the door loudly enough to catch my attention, especially in
the run-up to a close election. And I hate chatting with politicians on my
doorstep or on the phone. Especially on the phone. It's harder to ignore
the phone.

You softie! Amateur!  Don't you see: He just didn't want your cooties.
He'll be ba-ack! :-)

Oh, the few I know personally are very nice people.  I have no problem with
them or their beliefs.  And they usually go away if you ask them to.  Its
the ones who don't I have a big problem with.

Jo

Yes, and to be fair, the same ones never come twice. :) I'm usually very
polite, but this time Lily was in danger because of their visit, and the
time I threw icecream over them it was they day that my brother had been
in a firefight in Afghanistan, 2 marines were killed in his patrol and I
hadn't heard whether he was alive or not. I didn't appreciate a
moralistic rant of why God thought the Afghanistan war was a bad thing.

Usually they just bugger off when I tell them politely I'm not
interested.

Mormons are a whole different breed. And very scary because of their
level of brainwashing within the organisation.

Helen M

I have to take issue with this opinion.  A lot of my family are Mormons,
although I am not myself.  A nicer bunch of people you couldn't meet.

Tweed

I have numerous friends with strong religious beliefs, from Judasim to
Born again Christianity. The difference between them and JW's/Mormons,
is that they respect the fact that I have my own set of spiritual
beliefs and don't try to convert me in the same way that the majority of
Christians, yourself included wouldn't. What I object to is people
invading my privacy at home to try and convert me. Being welcomed into a
church is one thing. Having it shoved down your throat is another. :)

Helen M

<snip>

I would love to have seen that. :-)

LOL!!

Yet aNOTHer good reason always to have raw meat and large knife handy.
Oh, and the gloves are a nice touch.

There's an 87-year-old woman living across the street from me who seems to
think that the world turns on being able to eventually get me to attend her
church. She calls at least weekly on the phone and invariably gets around to
her real reason for calling. I have told her at least a dozen times that I
am simply not interested but it doesn't sink in. I don't want to alienate
her as a neighbor, I enjoy talking with her when she's not going on about
the bible, but she gets mightily offended when I don't go along with what
she says. Last time she did it, I borrowed the refrigerator-sized diamond
analogy from Sam Harris and the Orbiting China Teapot idea from Bertrand
Russell. I tried to be gentle and hope it worked but I might need to tell
her that I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster....

IME, Baptists will call (other denominations too)...when someone first
moves to invite them to their church. I don't think it had anything to
do with "evil eye". Usually they don't come back unless you've
expressed interest in their church.

Sherry