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Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / January 2007Candles for Sesame
I have started a candle group for Sesame which can be reached at http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=Sesam If you'd like to add a candle just click on an unlit candle and follow the instructions. Julie > I have started a candle group for Sesame which can be reached at > http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=Sesam [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Julie This is lovely, thank you Julie. Jill >> I have started a candle group for Sesame which can be reached at >> http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=Sesam [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > >Jill I think this website is wonderful, and I also think starting candle groups is something RPCA people should continue to do. When Natasha crossed the bridge the week before Christmas, Julie started a candle group for her. I've kept every message posted here and made a screen cap of every candle lit there. All the supportive messages and candles really made me feel better about the whole thing. Jeanne Hedge ============ http://www.jhedge.com > I think this website is wonderful, and I also think starting candle > groups is something RPCA people should continue to do. > [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > > Jeanne Hedge I found this website when Marina's Frank made the journey to the Bridge. I really liked it so I bookmarked it. I agree with you Jeanne, it should become a part of our "rituals". I remember when Selena crossed the Bridge so unexpectedly in August, the messages I received here helped so much. I didn't really have time to greive for her because we were headed out of town and I spent the next several days at the race track. I didn't want to explain to people why I was crying so I shut her away in a corner of my heart to examine later. Every time I tried to open that box afterwards it was too painful so I kind of left her shut away until New Years' Eve. For some reason, as I was watching the Waterford Ball at Times Square drop she broke free of the box. I cried and cried. DH asked me what was wrong and my response was that I felt like I was leaving her behind. It still feels wrong to have gone forward without her and opening that box still hurts but it is a little better. One thing I do know is that it was wrong to have tried to keep the pain away by not thinking about her. Selena is now on my desktop at work and I think about her every day. I worry that I didn't take better care of her, that I was a bad Meowmy because I didn't know she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I worry that I had too many cats and with Hobbes and Sam both being sick I was too concerned about them to notice her. Unfortunately, she was a reclusive cat anyhow, but her last few months she had started spending more time with us at night and still I didn't realize she was sick. Oh well, I didn't mean to go on about Selena. I just wanted to say that I'm glad the candle website helps to ease the pain a little bit. Hugs and headbutts, Julie > > I think this website is wonderful, and I also think starting candle > > groups is something RPCA people should continue to do. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > > > Jeanne Hedge > I found this website when Marina's Frank made the journey to the Bridge. > I really liked it so I bookmarked it. I agree with you Jeanne, it [quoted text clipped - 26 lines] > Hugs and headbutts, > Julie I think so many of us experience that guilt, where we feel we let our animals down in some way. Usually it's a result from us not noticing their illness sooner or by not protecting them or by having them pts too early or too late or not at all. I really feel that they forgive us very easily, but at the same time, a little guilt will help us to be more aware and responsive, which will help our other animals when they need our help. I had a conversation with Neil (my DH) last night about a wonderful rabbit we had, Alpha. We both feel regret that we didn't notice his illness sooner and also wonder if we had some how contributed to it. I think a major downside to guilt is that we don't enjoy their memories anywhere as much, or at least I don't. The main memories are centred about their illness and death rather than about their life. Alpha's death taught me to focus on the good memories and not the bad, and to pay attention to changes in their personality or routine. Anyhow, I agree that this lighting of virtual candles is a good ritual to incorporate. Even though it's virtual it's still as significant to me as lighting a real candle, with the added bonus of not having to worry about burning the house down. Another beloved pet of mine died on Wednesday and in memory of her, I'll be keeping a virtual candle 'burning' for 30 days. I couldn't do that with real candles. So thanks Julie for introducing me to the that site, I have a mini candle glowing on my desktop as as I write. Dewi > Anyhow, I agree that this lighting of virtual candles is a good ritual > to incorporate. Even though it's virtual it's still as significant > to me as lighting a real candle, with the added bonus of not having to > worry about burning the house down. Another beloved pet of mine died on > Wednesday and in memory of her, I'll be keeping a virtual candle > 'burning' for 30 days. Did I miss a post? Which of your pets died on Wednesday? :( Joyce jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: > > Anyhow, I agree that this lighting of virtual candles is a good ritual > > to incorporate. Even though it's virtual it's still as significant [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > > Joyce My pet rat, Lilly passed away, she had cancer. I didn't tell this group as many people unfortunately have an aversion to rats. Thanks for asking though. Dewi. >> Did I miss a post? Which of your pets died on Wednesday? :( > My pet rat, Lilly passed away, she had cancer. I didn't tell this group > as many people unfortunately have an aversion to rats. I'm sorry! I hope she didn't suffer. Many of us regret that a cat's life is too short, but people who have pet rats have an even shorter time together. There are quite a few rat-lovers here - didn't we just have a thread about them recently? I won't send purrs, as that might make Lilly nervous. How about friendly sniffs? :) Joyce > My pet rat, Lilly passed away, she had cancer. I didn't tell this group > as many people unfortunately have an aversion to rats. I'm very sorry for your loss. Whatever the pet, losing it is always hard. Hmm, it might seem strange to send purrs for the loss of a rat, but we're sending them anyway,  SignatureMarina, Miranda and Caliban. In loving memory of Frank and Nikki. Stories and pics at http://koti.welho.com/mkurten/ Pics at http://uk.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/frankiennikki/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/frankiennikki > jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 12 lines] > My pet rat, Lilly passed away, she had cancer. I didn't tell this group > as many people unfortunately have an aversion to rats. Awww Dewi, I'm sorry you felt you couldn't mention to us that Lilly had crossed the Bridge. I think we all understand the love of any pet and I for one would be happy to light a candle for Lilly if you have a group started, or I'll start one. You loved Lilly and I expect Lilly loved you and to lose her hurts and you deserve our support. My crew sends purrs and gentle headbutts to you and your DH and encouraged murps for Lilly to help her on her journey. They aren't even licking their lips, they say canned food is just as good as rat food. I had a rat pet once. Not your domestic rat pet but a rat a boy in Jr High had given me. I think he came from the river and he had a growth on the back of his neck. I kept him in a cage beside my bed and he was a lovely pet. I'll admit my cat at the time, Snowflake, was most intrigued by my pet rat. One night she managed to knock the cage off the nightstand and release Ben (I know, not a very original name). Ultimately I found Ben but there were several moments of concern. Eventually my father made me release Ben because he was afraid of potential disease from the growth on Ben's neck. Rats make nice pets and I know you are hurting from the loss of Lilly. You have our condolences. Julie, Hobbes, Lacey, Sam and Barnabus > Thanks for asking though. > > Dewi. Thank you Joyce, Marina and Julie. You are all very kind and right in saying that I should not have felt that you all couldn't understand. Lilly was definitely uncomfortable by the end and had been declining rapidly for two weeks and very rapidly in the three last days of her life. She is at peace now and I'm sure free and happy in her spirit form. Oh you guys have gotten me teary again! Anyhow, my rats send ratty licks to show their appreciation for thinking of their sister Lilly. Dewi. > jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Dewi. I will light a candle for Lilly. SignatureAdrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) Cats leave pawprints on your heart. http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk > I will light a candle for Lilly. > -- > Adrian (Owned by Snoopy and Bagheera) > Cats leave pawprints on your heart. > http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk Thank you so much Adrian for lighting a candle for Lilly. Hugs, Dewi. > jXwXeXrXmXoX...@sonic.net wrote: >> [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Dewi. I'm so sorry about Lilly. I'm sure it is just as hard regardless of what type of animal we lose. Kathryn Thank you Kathryn for your kind words. Hugs, Dewi. > My pet rat, Lilly passed away, she had cancer. I didn't tell this group > as many people unfortunately have an aversion to rats. > > Thanks for asking though. > > Dewi. I'm so very sorry to hear about Lilly. Lots of purrs, Polonca and Soncek <snip> Selena is now on my > desktop at work and I think about her every day. I worry that I didn't > take better care of her, that I was a bad Meowmy because I didn't know [quoted text clipped - 9 lines] > Hugs and headbutts, > Julie Please do not think you were a bad meowmie, because you are anything but that, Julie. We are sending lots of purrs and hugs just for you, Polonca and Soncek Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs It means so much to me I went to work today, all my colleagues were so understanding. They didn't know why I missed work yesterday. I was OK at work today but I'm home now and I can't stop crying I am scared that I will forget all the details I'm trying to picture her in my mind and i keep staring at her photo I will never have another cat like her Kathryn >I have started a candle group for Sesame which can be reached at >http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candles.cfm?l=eng&gi=Sesam [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Julie > Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs > [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > know why I missed work yesterday. I was OK at work today but I'm home now > and I can't stop crying. This is quite normal. Healthy, even. Don't try and bottle up your grief, let it out. > I am scared that I will forget all the details. I'm not sure what you mean, what sort of details are you afraid of forgetting? > I'm trying to picture her in my mind and i keep staring at her photo I did this too. I think this is normal, too. > I will never have another cat like her. No, you won't. Each cat/dog/pet is unique. Take some comfort that you were blessed with her company for all these years and think how lucky you were, and how lucky she was, too, to have you. [hugs for your breaking heart] Tweed >> Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs >> [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > I'm not sure what you mean, what sort of details are you afraid of > forgetting? What I mean is that I don't want to forget all the little insignificant things that made her special or made me laugh. Like the way she would shake her nose when she was drinking water, or when she got older and her claws in her back paw wouldn't retract so we could hear her coming tap tap tap with her claws on the wooden floor. I have started a notebook and I have been writing down lots of little things about her. I want to be able to go back and read these things and remember all these things. Kathryn > Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs > [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] > > ((((((hugs)))))) >> Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs >> [quoted text clipped - 13 lines] >> >> ((((((hugs)))))) Thank you Kathryn > Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Kathryn I know what you mean. Ted, calico queen of our household, went RB 18 months ago and just yesterday DH was saying how much he misses her and how there will never be another cat like her. I know my Mum still misses Psnott and Bongo, both of whom have been RB for many years. The missing them never goes away; the hurt associated with it does - eventually. Tish >> Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs >> [quoted text clipped - 21 lines] > > Tish I'm missing her so much at the moment and can't imagine it going away. I keep looking for her around the housel Kathryn > Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs > [quoted text clipped - 11 lines] > > Kathryn It's such a good idea to focus on the special memories. I recently bought a video camera to film the animals. I find that after some time my memories become like still shots so I'm hoping the videos will resolve this. As the years go by, talking about Sesame with others who knew her will bring up old memories that somehow got forgotten. It's true you won't have another cat like her, and she will never be replaced. However there are many out there who are just as wonderful in their own unique way. I lit a candle for you and Sesame. My thoughts are with you and purrs are being sent. Hugs, Dewi. >> Thank you Julie, and everyone who has lit a candle or sent purrs >> [quoted text clipped - 29 lines] > > Dewi. Thank you for your purrs and thoughts, and kind words Kathryn |
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