I take no responsibility for this; it was sent to me today

**Christmas Cookies***
*1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
3 cups of flour
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo
again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another

cup .. just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck

in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Samp! le! the Cuervo to check for tonsist icity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, frow the bolw frough the widow, finish the Cose Juervo an
be shure to put the stove in the dishwisher.
CHERRY MISTMAS