All your responses were very heartening, thank you all! I will reply
more individually soon, but need to get off the computer right now. But
it was helpful for me to check in with everyone. Even just to break a
bit of the isolation by saying out loud, "I'm feeling miserable", helped
in itself. After I posted that message, I felt a burst of energy, so I
logged off and cleaned up my apartment. It desperately needed it, and
the result of the cleanup was also cheering.

I do seem to have gotten myself into some isolation patterns, and that's
depressing. Sometimes it overflows. That seems to be what happened last
night when I suddenly felt very alone.

One thing: I wasn't trying to ask for more attention (other than for
responses to that specific message). I do know that people are busy. I
myself don't respond to nearly as many messages as I'd like to because
I don't have the time, or energy, or I don't always know what to say.
So I understand that. I had just developed this image of myself as
someone very annoying or obnoxious to others, and it finally reached a
breaking point. Why last night in particular? Who knows.

Thank you all for your patience and caring.

Purrs,
Joyce