Poor Odessa. She sounds just like our Biskit. She eventually will learn to
trust you, but I doubt she ever is a very social cat. She'll probably run from
strangers the rest of her life. Biskit trust me completely, but she startles
very easily and is still wary of DH. She hates men in particular so I don't
think she'll ever really love up to him.
Odessa is an opportunistic eater. She's got that mindset, "I'm going to eat
everything NOW because I don't know when the next meal will be." She's probably
known starvation before and they just don't forget that. You have to be careful
or she'll gain too much. (I should talk. Biskit is terribly fat now)
You can try giving her a designated hiding place, but IME they're gonna pick
where they want to hide.
I think you'll be amazed in six months or so the progress she's made with
loving hoomins like you & Louie. Biskit is here 10 months now. She's come a
long way.

Sherry

(snip)

Hi Baha,

I used to foster cats and kittens for our local rescue group, and
because I work from home I was often given feral kittens to 'bring
round'. Louie has the right idea. What is often very helpful is to not
give a timid cat too much space to run around and panic in, and not to
allow them too many places to hide, as they will just take much longer
to get used to you as you have already guessed! If there is a very
small, lightly furnished room in your house she can call her own, then
it becomes a safe haven where she feels secure, and can gradually get
used to the daily routine and your presence. I used to find that the
bathroom (the English definition - ie. the room with the bath in, not
just the WC;-)) was ideal, because it usually doesn't have many places
to hide in, it can accommodate a litter tray, food and bed, and it's a
room that's regularly visited without being too scary and busy for her.
Watch out for open windows though.  An office is also good but often has
too many things to hide amongst.

Good things to break the fear cycle are food, especially really nice
food treats - offered by hand but at arm's length; and toys on long
sticks (e.g. fishing wand) that you can dangle for her to play with
while you remain at a non-threatening distance. If she really gets
carried away she may find herself chasing it before she realises. You
can even try brushing her very gently - she may fear a hand, but a brush
may be OK. Sometimes they will accept being stroked from behind, but not
if they are facing you. Maybe the sight of the approaching hand is too
scary.

Non-threatening feline body language is useful too: don't look her
directly in the face, and if you catch her eye, give her a slow and
deliberate blink, as this means 'friend' in cat talk. Move slowly and
keep low to the ground so she isn't startled or towered over. If
possible, bring one of your other friendly cats in the room and stroke
him in full view of Odessa, so she can see that humans can be nice to
cats. When I've done this I've seen a look of "You FOOL! Watch out!
Don't you know they're dangerous?!" pass across the face of the feral
cat, followed by the sound of kitty cogs churning as it tries to make
sense of the fact that I haven't eaten the other cat yet. :-)

She may have been abused, or she may have been a long-term stray or even
once a semi-feral. Whatever her sad story, she has found a real haven in
your home and I am sure you will have more than enough love and patience
and understanding to bring her round, it may take weeks or even months
but the end result of gaining her trust is so very worth the wait.

HTH

Deb.

I don't really have any advice.  We've had Demi since she was about 5 weeks
old.  She's obviously never been abused (or even fussed at!).  Still,
whenever we go near her she crouches down and runs away like we were going
to eat her.  She hides under the bed (the king-sized be so nobody can
possibly reach here.  She's the most gorgeous cat I've ever seen, but none
of my family or friends have ever seen anything but pictures of her because
as soon as someone comes to stay she goes into hiding until they leave (I
have to shove food and water and the litter box under the be with her if
company is staying for a while).  Although, come to think of it, she's this
way with the other cats too, not just us (she' was terrified of Sammy when
Sammy was only as big as my hand!)

Some cats just have that type of temperament and can never be trained out of
it.  We just love our little dumb blonde and let her hide - if we try to
force her to face her fears she wets herself and I just can't stand seeing
her that scared.

Hugs,

CatNipped

I had this trouble with Boyfriend.  He was really frightened of me and
another other humans at first, and this stage lasted a few months.  I fed
him in the conservatory so he could access it from the big out, but if I
accidentally opened the kitchen door, he would flee immediately, even if he
was eating.

I don't really know if he was previously abused, or was just a very shy cat
by temperament.  I first saw him here early in 2003 and it's taken me this
long to get as far as I have with him.  I can stroke him, sometimes pick him
up - although he's not keen - and tickle his tummy when he offers it.  He
never scratches or bites.
Whether Odessa has been abused, is just nervous, or is a bit overwhelmed
with her new situation (if I were to be asked, I would say it's that)  I'm
not sure.  It will take time.  However long it takes, one day she will feel
easier with you.  Boyfriend has.  Eventually.
I'd like him to be braver, so I could be impetuous sometimes and grab him up
and kiss him to bits. He wouldn't like that though, yet. it would freak him
out..  Maybe one day.

Perhaps you are expecting too much, too soon, eh?   She will learn she is
quite safe with you and gets fed nice things regularly and in the end this
knowledge will cause her to trust you more than she distrusts you.
Hang on it there, it's very early days.

Tweed

Maybe some Feliway would help her relax?

Jo

Another thing to consider, is she just may never be able to really make
friends.  My aunt has two Persian cats that are rescues.  At least that is
what she claims.  One of them pretty much stays under her bed.  And only
comes out to eat and use the litter box.  When I stayed there I was up very
early by myself and she did come out to visit.  I think because the house
was very quiet and curiosity got the better of her.  Back under the bed as
soon as anyone else stirred.

The second one is more social and the two cats are devoted to each other.
Sometimes you need to settle for what is and know she is grateful for
someone who will accept what she can manage.

(How any cat can resist a turban is beyond me though.)

Jo

Purrs for Odessya to learn to trust you and accept you as well as the
four footed family members.

LB still has some trust issues which she'll probably always have. I'm
convinced that wherever she lived before whe wasn't allowed on
furniture or counters, and that they used a fly swatter to enforce the
rules. I can't even leave the swatter in sight, if she sees it she
hides under the bed. I've been able to convice her that she can hop on
any furniture, but discourage her jumping on the kitchen counters

Louie has given up the idea of training Odessa to a designated hidey-hole,
and has accepted the fact that she is way smarter than he.

We found out how she so eludes us in the basement. At the top of the walls
there is a perfect, cat-sized ledge going all around the walls, broken by
only a beam in one spot. She crawls around on this little ledge and snoozes
right where it meets the beam. Rather than cuss at us, which is the usual
thing when she'd been found, she just looked at us with an admiring,
well-I'll-be-damned look on her face. We took her upstairs, set her in our
bedroom for a while, gave her a pinch of catnip and some peace and quiet so
she could eat. We took one person's advice on getting as close to her eye
level as possible, and before we knew it she was lounging on our bed,
purring away while letting us pet her!

I know we have a long way to go yet, but it was at least a start. This
morning she came when Louie gave the breakfast call, so we must be on the
right road. I hope.

Blessed be,
Baha