You may have seen these before.

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
you he can.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often
the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to
the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest
him or her.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't
Matter.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a cat is
present.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire
for her to do something.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within
the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in
direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Joy