 |
 | Home | Contact Us | FAQ | Search & Site Map | Link to Us |
 | Sign In | Join | Other 45 Sites in Network |
| HomeDiscussion GroupsGeneral TopicsCat AnecdotesHealth and BehaviorRescue CatKB.com Contact UsLink To UsSearch & Site Map |
Cat Forum / Cat Anecdotes / September 2006Vet Tech Journals: Working interviews (very long sorry)
Well so far this one clinic is looking promising. I've had one interview which led to a working interview, which led to a second working interview, which i just had today. And i've been asked back for a third working interveiw next week. It's a good sized clinic but the building has been around for like 50 years. The moldings and the floors in the back totally show it. My first reaction when i went back into the treatment room was "This place looks lik a dump." The cabinets and countertops were peeling, the floor is totally uneven. But they seem to practice good medicine. Both days i've worked there It's been relatively slow, even though i've been told that it can get really really crazy. I'm interested to see how they manage crazy day, cause you nenevr really know the whole truth until all hell breaks loose. Lemme give ya a relative summary of both days. Day one: Clocked in and learned about the morning routines, tour of hte equipment etc. In the isolation room where three 8 week old kittens that had been fixed the previous day. Two boys and one girl. Very cute looking, but they were feral. The staff was trying to spend as much time working with them so they can become accustomed to hoomins. The cages hadn't been cleaned yet, and i heard two technicians complaining that they didnt' want do it because the kits would go nuts. So I said i would give it a shot. First kitten, a tortie female, started hissing as soon as i opened the cat door. "I'm MEAN!!!" So i quickly reached in and scruffed her and picked her up. She struggled a little bit, but i wrapped her in a towel and after a bit she calmed down and started purring. But as soon as I put her back she started hissing again. Second kitten, a tiny male tuxedo, started hissing and spitting as i reached for him. I had to move fast cause as sson as i grabbed him he REALLY started struggling. Again wrapped him up in the towel and after sitting there and scritching him he calmed down and purred until i put him back. Third kitten, an all black male, went NUTS when I opened the door. I half expected him to come flying out at me. This one i had to cover with a towel first and then brought him out. Same thing, but he took longer to start purring. Periodically throughout the day i went back and visited the kits and tried to pet them. Each of them hissed again and tried to swipe at me, but some i managed to get out again and pet. I assisted with a spay surgery and learned the clinic's surgery protocol. And the rest of the day went decently well. Day two: Clocked in and started helping with the hospitlized animals and morning treatments. THis time i actually took teh chart and check the medications, check with the vet etc. Took me a while since I didn't know where the drugs were kept, couldn't find the drawer with the gloves, etc. The feral kittens were all in one cage but still hissed at me. The all black male was burrowed WAY underneath the pillow and was even moving his brother and sister aside so he could burrow further. They've still got a ways to go. While i was cleaning a run, I reached up to one of the shelves where the towels were kept when i noticed there was a CAT meatloafing on one of the stacks of towels. Her name is Cali and is a beautiful tortie and also is the hospital cat. I talked to her and scritched her ears and then asked her "Um, I need to get a towel now, may i?" I then gently grasped the towel under her and tugged a little bit. Cali looked me square in the eye and took a swipe at my hand. HEY! "Uh, ok, if that's how you're going to be, i'll just use the stack you're not sitting on." Again she swiped at me and every time my handcame close to the towel she would bat it away. Another coworker was there and she started laughing. "She just wants to play." Nevertheless, I still needed a towel. I finally managed to get one despite her batting at trying to love bite my hand. Sheesh! Fortunately during the day Cali lives in a cage and not in that room. I visited her again later and she let me scritch her head and ears and then tried to grab my hand so she could bite it. Reminds me of Imp. I then helped out and learned the clinics dental protocol and was able to assist with that. I also got to do an ear cytology and got some helpful learning tips from one of doctors. So then the end of my shift came around and i got asked to come back again next week for another working interview (thank goodness i'm getting paid for these) Pros: Nice doctors (so far) and the two head techs are nice and have been willing to help me when needed. I'm also getting a chance to apply knowelge that i only learned in school and haven't had a chance to apply yet. Cons: The rest of the staff, particularly the female technicians seem a trifle distance. I'm not sure why, but i'm getting some weird vibes. Examples: On day one, after i was done with the feral kitties I came back out and noticed one of the technicians was getting food. I said "Oh, its time for feeding now?" I know a mildly dumb question, but I didn't see the harm in asking. She said, "Uh....yeah?" The unsaid "DUH" hung in the air and i saw it in her face. Um, okaaaaaaay.... I brushed it off and went about the rest of the day, but kept an eye out for her. And this morning i was looking for another technician to help me, and I saw one who just came in, but I couldn't remember her name. So I said, "Uh, Claudia, right?" She gave me a somewhat condescending glance and said "No." And kept on walking by. Didn't even stop to see what I was doing. WTF? The two head techs have taken the time to try to get to know me, and i've had conversations with some of the other males techs but not much. But each of them took the time to introduce themselves. NONE of the girls have really said a word to me, even a hello and haven't even tried to get to know me. And when i do speak to them, I get this feeling like I'm treading on eggshells. So on the one hand the clinic shows promise, it bothers me that I've only worked there two days and already am getting bad vibes. I've been trying really hard lately to read people's body language and actions, and what i've seen isn't impressing. They seem to me to be mid-level technicians, which is wherabouts where I would start. But I mean, am I THAT threatening to them already? I mean as far as I know, I'm not acting like I know everything, cause if I did why would they keep asking back? And I'm almost afraid to mention it cause I don't want to start any rifts. Of course i'm not going to mention it NOW, but with the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if in the next week or so they made me an offer. If at all, THAT is when I would mention it but worded very carefully. Cause the fit is very important and from the last two places I';ve noticed if there's ANY kind of bad vibes, it's only a matter of time. At the last place, 'A' and I clashed early on. And as much as I tried to work with her, it only got worse and I ended up being blamed for "always arguing with her" And the place before that, this high school brat with a major attitude and I clashed a bit as well. For two years we managed to keep our distance, but the last few months it just got worse. And if you've read my latest rant about my unemployment interview, you can see how frustrating this is. As much as I like this place so far, the LAST thing i want is to get hired and have personality conflicts down the road that end up leading to my termination. Doesn't matter if it's 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years. That would be THREE jobs in a row where i would have been discharged for 'not getting along with the staff' God if that happened I don't know if i could handle that. I'm trying ot keep my head up, and will see how the next working interview goes. I have another interview tomorrow at a different place. ithinkicanithinkicanithinkican..... Kristi > Well so far this one clinic is looking promising. I've had one > interview which led to a working interview, which led to a second > working interview, which i just had today. And i've been asked back > for a third working interveiw next week. <snip long> > I'm trying ot keep my head up, and will see how the next working > interview goes. I have another interview tomorrow at a different [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > > Kristi I think you can too, but I'm in no position to offer employment advice. I guess people can't help but be wary of a new colleague, but then again they may not even be aware that they're coming across that way. I think I like this "working" interviews idea. I've often thought the answers to less-than-an-hour's worth of on the spot questions is a very superficial way to evaluate whether someone's going to be useful employee (OK, maybe that's mostly because I'm really bad at interviews and haven't been successful in years). I'd think that having interviewees actually do things rather than just talk about them would be a much better way to evaluate them. I guess it would be hard to do if you were interviewing people who already had a job somewhere else though. May I ask, do they pay you for your time while you're on a "working" interview? Oh yeah i'm getting paid for all my work. I think about $14 an hour which is what I asked for and seems to be the going rate for technician with a few yesrs of experience. I may not have a lot of experience, but i'm familiar enough with teh knowledge that it gives me an edge. Kristi > Oh yeah i'm getting paid for all my work. I think about $14 an hour > which is what I asked for and seems to be the going rate for technician > with a few yesrs of experience. I may not have a lot of experience, > but i'm familiar enough with teh knowledge that it gives me an edge. > > Kristi That may be the only problem really. Up until fairly recently, a lot of vet techs were trained on the job weren't they? I'd guess those techs would be a little leery of someone who had formal training. I'd be extra careful to show I respected their experience. I still remember working with an accountant who had previous worked at a big eight accounting firm. He sort of thought it made him superior. But mostly it was just a bad habit that made him start way too many conversations with "when I worked for so and so". It got to be irritating. Jo >> Oh yeah i'm getting paid for all my work. I think about $14 an hour >> which is what I asked for and seems to be the going rate for [quoted text clipped - 16 lines] > > Jo Oh grrrrr! Jo, I hate that! 20-some years ago when I worked for an insurance company, the manager hired a new department secretary. She was a perfectly competent secretary but she constantly said, "When I worked for..." and wanted to do things the way they were done when she worked for *them*, rather than adapt herself to the way we did things. It got to be very irritating and eventually led to some very negative reactions from the rest of the staff. I remember thinking, if it was so great there, why did you bother to leave? Jill > I still remember working with an accountant who had previous worked at a big > eight accounting firm. He sort of thought it made him superior. From what I've seen of former "big eight" employees, all that makes them is underpaid! (They need a couple years auditing experience before they can be certified, the big eight firms are the best place to get it, and the firms know it!) You notice, unless a person is on a track to make partner in a big eight firm, once those magic letters "CPA" can be tacked onto the name, he/she quickly leaves and gets into the private sector, where the pay is better and the work more interesting and varied! > I think you can too, but I'm in no position to offer employment advice. I > guess people can't help but be wary of a new colleague, but then again [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > people who already had a job somewhere else though. May I ask, do they pay > you for your time while you're on a "working" interview? One of the new tools for teachers who are job hunting, I'm told, is a video tape of them in the classroom. The principal, or others on the hiring team, can watch the tape and get an idea of how the teacher is in the classroom. The tape is, of course, of the teaching candidate at their best, but it still gives an idea of what they are capable of. It is also used as a critiquing tool so that the candidate can see where they were or weren't effective. Personally, I like it. Pam S. > One of the new tools for teachers who are job hunting, I'm told, is a video > tape of them in the classroom. The principal, or others on the hiring team, [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > critiquing tool so that the candidate can see where they were or weren't > effective. Personally, I like it.//// In the UK, job interviews for teachers actually consist of the schools senior staff watching the applicant teach a relevant lesson to the children they are likely to teach. This is as well as several interviews on the day with different staff. Scary stuff. Helen M (wibbling, because she'll have to go through it next spring...) > Well so far this one clinic is looking promising. I've had one > interview which led to a working interview, which led to a second [quoted text clipped - 163 lines] > > Kristi Many purrs on the way that the right place will turn up for you soon. Hang in there, even though it's tough.  SignatureSam, closely supervised by Mistletoe > And if you've read my latest rant about my unemployment interview, you > can see how frustrating this is. Kristi, It is frustrating, but I feel that you will eventually find the right place for you. My initial reaction when reading about the reaction of the fellow techs is that they might be shy or afraid of investing too much time and energy with someone who may not be around once the job is filled. I used to go into a situation where I was uncomfortable and would occassionally come across like a bull in a china shop. After much training and mentoring by a co-worker, I found one of the magic phrases is "Help me understand..." or "Could you help me to make sure that I'm doing...right?" It is important to do this sincerely, but it has been extremely helpful in the past 5 years. I am now looking for work myself, so I understand some of your frustrations. I know that you just graduated, is it possible for you to arrange some time with the college placement services to have some mock interviews conducted? Sometimes is isn't so much what we say, but the body language that accompanies the comments. Reflect on the one who gave you the "Duh" look. The placement center has no real vested interest in you getting a job with them, so they can be more honest and direct. I know that working interviews are different than formal interviews, but you may find out something that would be helpful. Also, could you contact your friend that helped you understand when you were too energetic and ask her for some honest feedback. She can probably shed some light on what makes folks think you are arguing when you are truly trying to ask a question. Just a few suggestions, hope they help. Diane > So then the end of my shift came around and i got asked to come back > again next week for another working interview (thank goodness i'm > getting paid for these) Yeah, when you mentioned "working" interviews I was going to ask about that! (I visualized a vet managing to get free part-time workers indefinitely, under the guise of "working interviews".) > Pros: Nice doctors (so far) and the two head techs are nice and have > been willing to help me when needed. I'm also getting a chance to [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > Cons: The rest of the staff, particularly the female technicians seem > a trifle distance. I'm not sure why, but i'm getting some weird vibes. I think Cheryl's advice on another thread applies here - just don't read too much into other people's responses. They may simply be intent upon what they are doing, and look upon conversational pleasantries as interruptions. Also they may simply feel it doesn't make sense to get chummy with someone who is still undergoing the "interview" process. (You may not be the first - have there been other applicants to reach that stage?) You had a bad experience on the last job, but don't let it color your reactions to new potential fellow-workers. I get the impression you may be feeling a bit lonely, what with your roommate moving out, and being out of school so you don't have your classmates to chat with. Why not wait a bit - smile when you encounter others, return their greetings, but let them make the first conversational overtures? (That's advice my mother gave me, when I first entered the business world, and I was glad she did.) I can't exactly explain the difference, but the dynamics of being an employee are a bit different from those of being a fellow-student. So long as you have a ready smile, and respond when others speak to you, no one will consider you either "stand-offish" or "pushy", and you'll be building a good working relationship on their terms. <snip> > Cons: The rest of the staff, particularly the female technicians seem > a trifle distance. I'm not sure why, but i'm getting some weird vibes. [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > in her face. Um, okaaaaaaay.... I brushed it off and went about the > rest of the day, but kept an eye out for her. Probably what you should have done was asked if there was anything you could do to help (if you weren't busy at the moment). > And this morning i was looking for another technician to help me, and I > saw one who just came in, but I couldn't remember her name. So I said, > "Uh, Claudia, right?" Probably a bad tactic. You didn't know her name. The best thing to do, is say "Excuse me, I need a bit of help, do you have a second?" And if she says yes say "I'm sorry - I don't remember your name...I have met so many new people in the last few days..." and she would have *had to* tell you her name because she already committed herself to helping. In my example, you broke the ice, in asking for help, and apologized for not remembering her name - you showed you are human and vulnerable, which people can identify with. That's much better than guessing when you obviously don't remember. > She gave me a somewhat condescending glance and said "No." And kept on > walking by. Didn't even stop to see what I was doing. > > WTF? She probably thought your approach was rude. > The two head techs have taken the time to try to get to know me, and > i've had conversations with some of the other males techs but not much. [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > haven't even tried to get to know me. And when i do speak to them, I > get this feeling like I'm treading on eggshells. Be proactive. Say hi first. Ask them how long they have worked there, etc. when you have a chance to talk to them one on one (and you aren't really busy). Ask about thei pets! People like people who are interested in their lives. > So on the one hand the clinic shows promise, it bothers me that I've > only worked there two days and already am getting bad vibes. I've been [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > They seem to me to be mid-level technicians, which is wherabouts where > I would start. But I mean, am I THAT threatening to them already? No. Being mid-level they are probably swamped with work. I think you may be reading too much into such situations. You can't expect to break into a working heirarchy when you are merely trying the job to see how you like it. They have no vested interest in going out of their way to get to know you - and in fact, may be waiting to see how proactively personable YOU are. > mean as far as I know, I'm not acting like I know everything, cause if > I did why would they keep asking back? And I'm almost afraid to > mention it cause I don't want to start any rifts. Of course i'm not > going to mention it NOW, but with the way things are going, I wouldn't > be surprised if in the next week or so they made me an offer. If at > all, THAT is when I would mention it but worded very carefully. I would not. It makes you seem like you have problems working with people right off the bat. It would be petty to do so at this point. > Cause > the fit is very important and from the last two places I';ve noticed if > there's ANY kind of bad vibes, it's only a matter of time. I think you are reading more into such situations than you have to and then making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. You get your hackles up right away and never let them down. YOU are in control, Kristy - not anyone else! > At the last place, 'A' and I clashed early on. And as much as I tried > to work with her, it only got worse and I ended up being blamed for > "always arguing with her" And the place before that, this high school > brat with a major attitude and I clashed a bit as well. For two years > we managed to keep our distance, but the last few months it just got > worse. Maybe the problem is that you don't give in and just let things go. If you were being accused of arguing with a head tech then you should have just shut up and done what she asked. If you *obviously* piss someone off who is more senior than yourself, apologize to them *every single time* - even if you KNOW you are right. > And if you've read my latest rant about my unemployment interview, you > can see how frustrating this is. [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > > God if that happened I don't know if i could handle that. Then it is time to take a different road - yes? Maybe look at these situations in a different way - that these people are NOT out to get you and people are *not* saying things to you because they don't like you, or have "attitude problems". Take a step back, give people the benefit of the doubt, and LET THINGS GO. Value what people say to you - they have been their longer and know what they are talking about! Learn when to ask questions and when to be quiet. Respect the heirarchy. Start each day new. > I'm trying ot keep my head up, and will see how the next working > interview goes. I have another interview tomorrow at a different > place. > > ithinkicanithinkicanithinkican..... You are extremely capable! You need to rely more on your knowledge and not get so wrapped up in what others *may* be thinking. Believe in yourself! You have a lot to offer and people will recognize that, but you have to relax and not worry so much about "vibes" that you may or may not be getting. Look at it this way - if someone doesn't like you, so what!?! They still have to work with you, right? So be nice to them under all circumstances, and pretend any "slight" they throw your way isn't a slight - because, afterall, you MAY be misreading them! Kill them with kindness. If all you project is kindness and helpfulness, people will see that in you. Greet each person each day in the way you would want to be greeted. If you have a real run-in with someone, let it go. Start each day new. People can't like you if you don't give them the chance! Remember - YOU are in control of how you feel. No one can make you feel bad without your consent. Good luck, and knock 'em dead! -L. I started to write a long response to this one and to your other response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your points. But i'm tired......... I'm tired of dealing with this whole damn thing It pisses me off and makes me depressed and makes me cry, but it's not worth trying to argue. I totally appreicate what you said and thank you for taking the time to give me afvice. But I will saying the following points: I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me. Yes I believe that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be professional. But in the past two jobs the other people have refused to be professional. I have let things brush off and go on with what i'm doing, but after several occurances one has to wonder if it is personal. One rude comment is not going to influence me, but continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand there and take it. I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was right in her eyes. I took it and swalllowed EVERYTHING she threw at me. I even tried not looking at her cause i knew she would take it the wrong way and do you know what happened? She came up and demanded that I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to work with her. I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on one hand I can't let things get to me, I should just stand there and have people walk over me either. Your advice is good and sound, but now i have to wonder why i feel myself getting irked, defensive and teary eyed just from reading your posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me. So why do i feel myself getting upset? Why am i percieving your responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just shut my mouth? Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer. I just know that i'm crying and can't understand why....... Like I said, I'm tired. My unemployment claim was denied for "disputing with my employer" You probably agree since you said it was apparent. I didn't even understand but you did and thank you for explaining it to me, I guess i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem to me concerned and want to help me. Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you don't take it personally but another part of me just wants to argue with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech, and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make sense adn i'm rambling again.... So i'll go with what the rest of me wants to do......i'll just stop.....cause it's just making me me cry more..... I know i'm capable and that I'm in control. I can't make people like me. Yet i feel like i've jumping through every hoop they put before me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i still get stomped on. I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be defensive and trying to do my job and trying to listen and trying to keep my mouth shut and trying to believe in myself and trying to impress the doctor and trying to be professional but not being overenergetic and trying to think about how i'm going to handle this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!..... Tomorrow is another day..... i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... Kristi >I started to write a long response to this one and to your other >response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your >points. <SNIP> Useless dribble <SNIP> What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?! Excuse me? I'm seriously hojping you are a troll On Sun 03 Sep 2006 09:02:41p, Mischief wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes (news:1157331761.675153.231570 @i42g2000cwa.googlegroups.com): > Excuse me? > > I'm seriously hojping you are a troll Ignore him Kristi. He's not worth anyone's time here. He's a seemingly angry old man. I've seen his posts for years, though he keeps changing his nick lately. SignatureCheryl > What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?! Well, your personality comes to mind.... Pam S. >> I started to write a long response to this one and to your other >> response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?! *PLONK* >>I started to write a long response to this one and to your other >>response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > What in the hell is your problem ?!?!?! What's YOURS? You've never posted here before, then show up dissing one of our regular members! Why? (P-L-O-N-K!) On Sun 03 Sep 2006 08:46:33p, Mischief wrote in rec.pets.cats.anecdotes (news:1157330793.685987.72400 @e3g2000cwe.googlegroups.com): > Tomorrow is another day..... > > i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... Hang in there sweetie. We're all with you. Crying isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it means a nerve was touched. That doesn't mean that the nerve has to keep being touched over and over; not until you're ready. Get some rest and I'm sure that all three are going to come cuddle with you and try to chear you up. :)) SignatureCheryl > i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... Please do find a kitty to cuddle. Your reaction to the post probably has more to do with all the stress you have been under. Sending job purrs and interview purrs. Hugs! Diane > Tomorrow is another day..... > > i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... <<<<<<<Kristi>>>>>> Sweetie, give yourself some space, and let it ride for a bit. Then you can think over what you want to of what everyone said and decide how valid their advice is. In general, advice is worth about what you paid for it, especially when the sources are considered. You're a sweetie and some times people will use that. Pam S. A mean tough old woman > I started to write a long response to this one and to your other > response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me. Well then stop. Nothing I posted said anything about "tring to make people like you." Yes I believe > that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I > can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand > there and take it. Again, it's prtobably a perception problem on your end. > I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the > time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to > work with her. It takes two to tango. > I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a > cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me. > So why do i feel myself getting upset? It's a good question to ask yourself. I am trying to help you - I have BTDT so many years ago in a different setting, and I do have the experience of working as a vet tech. > Why am i percieving your > responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech > and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just > shut my mouth? FWIW, I don't care what your other employer said to you. I am just telling you what *I* know *I* have to do to get along in that sort of work enviroment. I started out as an assistant and worked my way up to primary groomer, then tech, then ward supervisor. I learned the hard way how to interact with some of the people - some more difficult than others - and some who had been there 25 years and could "do no wrong". It's a tough setting and you have to kiss a.s to get along sometimes. >Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I > honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem > to me concerned and want to help me. I am. Like I said what you have been doing hasn't worked, right? Once you are feeling better, takle a self-assessment and see how you can approach things differently. > Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you > don't take it personally I take very little personally. > but another part of me just wants to argue > with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech, Therein lies your problem. Why argue with what I am saying? Sure, my experiences are different, but not all that different. I was young once, new kid on the block, cat fighting with other young women in the lab. I felt like the victim, too. Eventually I just got tired of it and started being nice to everyone - all the time - regardless of how bitchy they were to me. You know what happened? One of my biggest enemies became one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding a year later. You *have to* take a different approach. Stop being defensive, and stop arguing. Your mental health is worth more than "being right". > and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make > sense adn i'm rambling again.... [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i > still get stomped on. Are you really being stomped on, or do you just *think* you are being stomped on? Is it possible that you are perceiving things that aren't really there - like malice, hatred, vindictiveness, catiness? > I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying > to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... Well, take care of yourself. Give it some distance and think about it later when you are feeling better and everything isn't so raw and fresh. I do wish the best for you - reading your journals has been a trip down memory lane for me and I sort of feel like you are so sweet and have so much promise - I hate it that you are having trouble finding your niche. You will, someday. I can guarantee that. You are just in a growth period now and change is difficult. Surrender to it. -L. > I started to write a long response to this one and to your other > response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > > I'm sick and tired of trying to make people like me. Well then stop. Nothing I posted said anything about "tring to make people like you." Yes I believe > that if people don't like me and I still have to work with them, fine I > can do that. Been there done that, I will do my part and be [quoted text clipped - 4 lines] > continuous rude interactions and i doubt that even you would just stand > there and take it. Again, it's prtobably a perception problem on your end. > I once had a class mate that would ride me and talk down to me all the > time. I brushed it off but still she continued. Nothing I did was [quoted text clipped - 3 lines] > I stop giving HER attitude when in reality i was doing EVERYTHING to > work with her. It takes two to tango. > I won't get into the rest, but i ended up losing my temper, punching a > cabinet (the cabinet won) and my professor asked told me that while on [quoted text clipped - 5 lines] > posts. I know YOU are not out to get me. You're only try to help me. > So why do i feel myself getting upset? It's a good question to ask yourself. I am trying to help you - I have BTDT so many years ago in a different setting, and I do have the experience of working as a vet tech. > Why am i percieving your > responses as while helpful, harsh? Is it because you're another tech > and to me it seems you are siding with my previous employer to just > shut my mouth? FWIW, I don't care what your other employer said to you. I am just telling you what *I* know *I* have to do to get along in that sort of work enviroment. I started out as an assistant and worked my way up to primary groomer, then tech, then ward supervisor. I learned the hard way how to interact with some of the people - some more difficult than others - and some who had been there 25 years and could "do no wrong". It's a tough setting and you have to kiss a.s to get along sometimes. >Why am i reading it that way, cause that CAN'T be it. I > honestly don't understand and don't worry I don't expect you to answer. [quoted text clipped - 8 lines] > understand. I still though appreciate you advice and you do really seem > to me concerned and want to help me. I am. Like I said what you have been doing hasn't worked, right? Once you are feeling better, takle a self-assessment and see how you can approach things differently. > Part of me wants to apologize to you over and over and say i hope you > don't take it personally I take very little personally. > but another part of me just wants to argue > with your cause i don't feel you really understand as a fellow tech, Therein lies your problem. Why argue with what I am saying? Sure, my experiences are different, but not all that different. I was young once, new kid on the block, cat fighting with other young women in the lab. I felt like the victim, too. Eventually I just got tired of it and started being nice to everyone - all the time - regardless of how bitchy they were to me. You know what happened? One of my biggest enemies became one of my best friends. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding a year later. You *have to* take a different approach. Stop being defensive, and stop arguing. Your mental health is worth more than "being right". > and part of me wants to just delete this post and neither of them make > sense adn i'm rambling again.... [quoted text clipped - 6 lines] > me. I brush it off, I do what I'm told, i keep my mouth shut and i > still get stomped on. Are you really being stomped on, or do you just *think* you are being stomped on? Is it possible that you are perceiving things that aren't really there - like malice, hatred, vindictiveness, catiness? > I'm too tired to do anything anymore...... I've had enough of trying > to be myself and fitting in and getting along and not trying to be [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > > i'm gonna go now and find a cat to cuddle with...... Well, take care of yourself. Give it some distance and think about it later when you are feeling better and everything isn't so raw and fresh. I do wish the best for you - reading your journals has been a trip down memory lane for me and I sort of feel like you are so sweet and have so much promise - I hate it that you are having trouble finding your niche. You will, someday. I can guarantee that. You are just in a growth period now and change is difficult. Surrender to it. -L. Hi Kristi, (((((Hugs))))) You're going through a rough patch. Try not to beat yourself up about how people react to you. I know its easier said then done. When you're feeling down and vulnerable, you get more affected by people around you. Well at least I do any way. I've been reading your posts and you really do come across as a nice person. If you can, try to ignore those on this ng who lack tact and who feel it more important to be right then to let things slide and give you a break. Being a vet technician I assume that you work for private businesses as opposed to big institutions like a university or the government. In my experience and from what I've observed general rudeness and unprofessional behaviour seems to occur more frequently in smaller private business. Business owners and managers can sometimes treat their staff like crap as they are in a more powerful position and the other staff members have no one to complain to. Also work culture tends to be set by the boss, so if your boss is unprofessional, others will tend to act that way too. Currently a friend of mine works for a small accounting firm and her boss is incredibly rude to her and some of the other staff there. Scowling, ignoring, routinely speaking in a condescending manner and the occasional swearing. The few staff members that are buddy-buddy with this boss are equally rude too. It's happened to myself and my DH when we worked for small places. Not to say that this does not occur with bigger institutions, however they usually have some official code of conduct in the work place and if things get bad enough you can usually complain to a series of people and hopefully something can be implemented to resolve things. So I guess I'm trying to say that if some of the people in your last 2 jobs were lousy. The size of the business and/or work culture will have a lot to do with it. Sleep, cat cuddles and blocking some peoples post may be in order. Hugs again. Dewi. .... > i don't like hearing what i've been hearing all my life and have yet to > understand. .... [quoted text clipped - 7 lines] > this.....i've HAD ENOUGH!!!!!..... > Kristi> Kristi, I don't have any answers or magic solution for you, but I want you to know that I enjoyed your vet tech journals immensely and I like the Kristi I got to know through those journals. I suppose that you might be too hard on yourself, and that in some cases, what you hear is not what people are actually saying. It's kind of like when you are in high school and you think everyone is looking at you. when the real situation is that they are walking around too busy thinking everyone is looking at them to be looking at you. That can make you come across as defensive. If you misread what people are saying, it will be as frustrating for them to deal with you as it is for you to deal with them. I also think your desire to please makes you an easy target for workplace bullies. It sounds like you believe you have problems with everyone around you, so you certainly are somehow part of the problem, whatever it is. However, I suggest you Google with the words "workplace" and "bullies" (without the quote marks). You will find many links about how to recognize and deal with these situations people. What you learn probably will also help you to look at your own behaviors and thoughts and make you also better able to relate to those who are not bullies, but yet difficult for you to work with. You've completed a tough program and have been pushing hard. I think a good sleep would be your best start. I hope this helps. Hugs Annie >I started to write a long response to this one and to your other >response to my other post, because i have several arguments to your [quoted text clipped - 76 lines] > >Kristi (((((((((((Kristi)))))))))))))))))) Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh Make Levees, Not War |
Reply to this Message |
 Sign In
 Join
 My Latest Posts My Monitored Threads My Blog My Photo Gallery My Profile My Homepage Start New Thread Enable EMail Alerts Rate this Thread
|
©2008 Advenet LLC Privacy Policy - Terms of Use
This website includes both content owned or controlled by Advenet as well as content owned or controlled by third parties.